What do I do when I accidentally friend zoned a guy?

[singergurl93]

So it's a long story... But he asked me to homecoming and I ditched him because we were best friends and I was scared of dating him. But now I regret it and I really want to know how I can get him to ask me out or something. He's tried but always chickens out Because he doesn't want to be rejected or ruin our friendship. How can I get him to stop being afraid and make a real move?

Updates

+1 y

Okay do I realized how this sounded... I was in the hospital right before homecoming, and didn't exactly ditch him but I told him he could ask someone else since we were just friends anyway... I'm not that cruel

[Anonymous]

No, see, that's the problem. You put yourself in this place. You made him feel rejected, and then you made him feel zoned. This is not going to work the way you want it to. You can't get him to ask you out again. Sure, you can try to do what CollinR or what Cesilia12 said in the beginning, but you'll quickly find that to be borderline to absolutely useless. He is not going to ask you out. I can pretty much bet on it.

Basically, at this point, if you're into him, you should make a move. This is how this stuff works. He tried, and look how that ended up. Now the ball is in your court. Make a play. Score. I guarantee it will work. I know there's no shame in making a move on a guy, and judging by what you said, it sounds like you have a very good chance with him. All you have to do is make a move. Ask him out. Explain yourself. That, or you could try some of the things that Cesilia12, but speaking as a guy, I honestly think a more direct approach is best now.

Think it over.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah I see. Did he know the context? Since you said you "accidentally" zoned him, I'm guessing not. Plus you did say that you did it because you were scared of dating him. I'm sorry, but you really do need to start getting bold. At bare minimum talk to him and tell him how you feel. Otherwise, be REALLY bold kiss him like kheserthorpe suggests.

[Belgie]

I'm afraid the other guys are correct - you rejected him, he's not going to stick his head in the guillotine again just so you can chop it off.

He's a young guy, rejection still stings especially when you were best friends. He is not going to go through that again.

The only way you'll get him now, is to make the move yourself.

And even then, there's no guarantee you'll get him. Some guys can be just as stupid as girls and say no to something they actually want.

[snowangle]

Haha I'm sorry you have to experience the wrath of the guys on this site who have been friend zoned themselves. This is a pretty hot topic here.

However, I agree that you should ask him out yourself rather than waiting on him. It sounds like he still likes you, so he'll probably thank you for it. My advice is to just blurt it out the next time you feel bold. And say "would you like to date?" or "do you want to be my boyfriend?" rather than "wanna hang out?" Just so he knows what you mean. Good luck! :)

[singergurl93]

Haha thanks... Yes it's hard to explain to them what I mean... I'm not evil, when I said that I didn't know if I'd even be outta the hospital for homecoming.

[cesilia12]

Flirt with him a lot. Hug him a lot. If he allows you to get really close to him for a long time he likes you. But sometimes you really have to take matters into your own hands. I pursued my boyfriend. Plus we're engaged. There is no shame in pursuing him. Gosh if it works out well he'll thank you for it later on down the road. Invite him to the movies or to walk you home, shoot if he walks you home invite him in. Have video game sheshes. Get closer to him, be his best friend.

[singergurl93]

Yeah that's where it's tricky thought because we already do all those things he always walks me out and to all my classes and when people ask if we're going out he doesn't deny it... But we're not yet

[cesilia12]

He didn't Denny that your together? Oo OK then it should be very easy. Go on a date with him to some place you feel would be easy for you two to cuddle. Makesure to cuddle with your lips close to each other. If he wants to kiss you he won't fight it and he'll stare at your lips a lot. Make sure your lupus aren't dry. So either lick them. Or get a chapstick. No lip goods! Or nothing sticky!

[CollinR]

Tell him strait up, be honest with him and tell him how you feel about him, hint that you like him, flirt with him or even ask him on a date, or say you heard some movie or restaurant is awesome and wanted to see if you two could go sometime, and go from there. Best of luck

[Anonymous]

You friend zone him, and now you think he's even going to try after that? Pfft, not happening. Get real.

[Anonymous]

You can't. You f***ed it up. He's not going to make a move, anymore. You have to do it yourself.

[Prof_Don]

Either tell him how you feel (as in saying that you want to date him and see where things go)...or show him how you feel (as in give him a kiss).

[Anonymous]

Just ask him then! Ask him out!

[kheserthorpe]

Kiss him.

[singergurl93]

Lol we came pretty close once

[kheserthorpe]

I'm quite serious. If you try to 'talk' there's more chance of confusion and losing your nerve. You only need a moments courage to kiss him and its instant 'more than friends' indicator.

[singergurl93]

Yeah well I wish I was that bold but I'm not...

[kheserthorpe]

Its actually the easiest. Because if you want to say something instead, you'll have to say a lot, to be clear, and he'll probably think he's misinterpreting, and you'll have to do it again, and be even more clear. The kiss? Just a moment of bravery, then there's no backing out of it.