My mother always gossips about me; Advice?

[Anonymous]

My mother always gossips about me; It has been going on for years. She loves to put me down. I'm eighteen and just want to leave without a trace of my family history.

I have posted a thread about how she will discreetly mouth in stores "yeah I know, she's ugly right?" Or she'll make little murmur remarks about my hair.

Two days back when I was working on a screen play she took my step father into the bathroom and whispered. It wasn't even thirty seconds she was in there. I made out the words. "Wouldn't it be funny if someone ripped her a apart. Ruins her."

Fuck her. I don't think I'm ugly, there is a lot worse. No one will ever be the prettiest or the ugliest. There will always be some one who remains that is worse or better.

As I do my make up she'll state "I'm glad I think highly of my self I don't need all these high end clothes to make me feel better about myself." One, I dress for myself and solely for the fun of it. Dressing is a form of art. I wear beautiful arrays of clothing in my home on a daily basis when no ones even around. I follow runway shows and keep up with the trends, but make it my own and original. She labels my out fits as slutty because I wear heels on a daily bases. No flesh was even present besides my hands, face, lower arms, and ankles.

She finds everything I do absurd. Writing, reading, hiking, my movie taste, anything you can name and she'll find it absurd.

Her other children touch me in manners I don't like so I push them off. I will not sit their and be touched. She says and my step father also "you have no right pushing them." They have no right touching me. I want them off. They clearly see the dirty stuff that occurs.

They also laugh and me and what not. They buy me stuff, yet treat me so wrong.

My mother told me a lie and I caught it and I replied "your full of sh*t" she smacked the crap out of me. She calls me the devils child, says I'm a piece of sh*t, and what not.

I'm getting a bunch of plastic surgery, changing my name, and everything. Not fully because her. I am tired of people laughing in my face...

My plastic surgery decision has been made. I'm doing it. I am being very cautious about the doctor I choose. Don't tell me to love myself the way I am.

I want no part in my family.

Any advice?

[Anonymous]

get a job so you'll be able to support yourself

plan everything out ahead of time so it'll go smoothly:

- where will you go to school (high school/university) if you are planning on going to school?

- how much will groceries, rent, clothes, tuition, furniture etc. cost.

- how will you get to where you're moving?

- do you know anyone in the area you're moving?

all these things are helpful.

you could consider changing your name (full, first, or last, etc.)

this is a huge deicion so the most important thing is that you consider whether you could really go the rest of your life without seeing your family again. also consider if there's anyone in your life that you may be leaving behind - will you be able to keep your friends? etc.

if you're going to do this (and if you feel its what's best for you to grow) then you need to take everything into consideration. if your going to up and leave make sure you do it and don't look back. there's no point starting a new life if you're going to go back everynow and then. etc.

[Anonymous]

Here's a great website that will hopefully clear things up and not make you feel so alone. {daughtersofnarciccisticmothersdotcom}

I went through the same thing-I am more than twice your age now and am here to tell you-it doesn't get any better. don't waste all the years I did waiting for it to change. Go out and make your way in the world and learn to be happy with who you are without seeking their approval. In my situation, they started doing that to my children. My advice - as hard as it is and as much as you'll be judged for it by those who don't understand - is to run for your life and don't look back. Hope this helps. Good luck to you xo

[girl89]

If you want no part in your family I suggest you become independent by getting a job, saving enough money in a bank account and move out whenever you can. Tell your mother how you truly feel about her actions and comments against you. Maybe she won't understand but she'll at least know that your hurt.

[Anonymous]

Its wrong that your mom targets you for mistakes she feels she made, none of this is your fault and one day she'll regret the way she's treated you. Do what girl89 said and get a job and get out.