Difficulties as a young-looking guy for my age

I'm in somewhat of a unique dating snafu at the moment. I am a guy who's very close to turning 25 and look very young for my age (I'm in the striped shirt in this picture) :

link

I've tried a whole bunch of things to look older, or at least my age - changing my clothes, growing facial hair, different hairstyles, and nothing has worked! When I try to hit on girls my own age, the looks on their faces tell the story (Why is this high-schooler flirting with me?), when in actuality I've been graduated from college for well over 2 years. I suppose my question is directed to the girls in that would you date a guy like me who has everything else going for him, except that he looks young for his age? Any feedback is much appreciated.

Updates:
In an update, now I am 25 years old - and I just went to an engagement party where the 16-year old sister of my friend's fiance started hitting on me, because she thought I was in high school as well. Some things never change, lol.

0|0
15|4

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh my goodness I know how you feel! I am going to be 25 in just a matter of weeks and I get told I look young all the time. Most people get this look in their eye and go no way! I thought you were 14. I have a baby face and I know how hard it is. I will be graudating college in a couple of months and it is going to be interesting trying to find a job. I got so tired of people asking that I just said I am a child prodigy so they would leave me alone. I went to the grocery store and most people were in shock because I was pushing a shopping cart. Stop the presses literally. It is not like I go around telling people they are fat or ugly you know? All I can tell you is to embrace it. That is what I have had to do and when people start to say something and look at my drivers license like it is fake I go you don't have to tell me and that usually shuts them up. If I knew you I would definitely date you! You look about 20 in my opinion so no worries. Don't worry about what people think about you and just enjoy life. I have a hard time dating to because most guys my age want the voluptous girls and not the cute girls. If you can't find a girl your age then try a dating site. There is bound to be a girl that will like you for who you are and not what you look like. If it makes you feel any better, I get hit on by 15 year olds. Hang your head high and realize you are not the only one who feels like this.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thanks for your comments kat, really brought a smile to my face today. Also for the reason that I originally posted this over a year ago, and people are still checking it out. I'm now 26 (just had a birthday in January), and still look young - I've found there's no getting around it, haha. It made me really glad to see that I'm not the only one out there getting carded constantly and mistaken for a high schooler. Many thanks again, :-).

What Girls Said 14

  • I can relate. So many people have asked to speak to one of my parents in the last couple of weeks. I caught an eighth grader at my niece's school checking me out. And I'm more popular with high school guys now than when I was in high school. College guys, not so much. I think I look my age, I'm just a bit on the short side.

    It's tough for guys; girls seem to have more control over how old they appear. But you are your age, whether you look it or not. That's no reason to turn a guy down. At least you're aging gracefully.

    0|1
    0|0
    • All my older friends and family members tell me that when I'm in my 40's and 50's, I'll appreciate my proverbial full glass from the fountain of youth. But since I won't be there for quite a while, it's somewhat of cursed blessing, haha.

  • Instead of trying to make yourself something you aren't, accept the way you are. It'll be far more attractive than changing details to look older. Eventually, you will. I had the same problem for years, I at least look 21 now since I don't get carded anymore, lol. But I've never seen it as a problem, even the few times it has been. I just laugh when someone guesstimates my age incorrectly and find that one day, it'll all pay off when I look 10-20 years younger than all my friends ;p

    0|1
    0|0
    • Thank you for your thoughts - to update from the original post, I will be 27 in just over four months, and still look well under my age. But the difference is that I have now accepted it - and you're right, some day people like us will look pretty good as middle-aged adults and beyond.

  • Awwwwwwwwwww! (sorry, had to get that out :P)

    I have the same problem as you, only I’m a girl, and I’m 17. I think I will smack the next person who says “Oh, I thought you were an 8th grader.” To make things worse, I’m also in college, so that makes the age gap between me and my friends seem even more prominent than it actually is.

    You DO look young (I would guess about 18 from the picture—not gonna lie) But I think that a picture isn’t a good guide for the level of maturity a person projects when you’re around them.

    The most important thing you can do to “look your age” is to not act like it bothers you. Self-consciousness is a VERY COMMON teenager trait, and if you project that, then it will only make matters worse. If it doesn’t bother you, then it won’t bother other people as much. (not accusing you of insecurity—we all have our little things!)

    Although I generally wouldn’t advise anyone to change themselves to get the approval of others, there are a couple of concrete things you CAN do to look older. I saw your picture, you are not a bad-looking guy; actually good-looking.

    One thing I would ditch is the goofy smile…not saying you shouldn’t smile! But teenage guys tend to smile when they’re embarrassed or uncomfortable, so it makes them look awkward…not something you want to imitate! I don’t know if that’s a constant thing for you or not or if you’re just smiling for the camera like most of us happy people do : )

    You might try to get a haircut; the surfer hair looks a little young. (I know you said facial hair didn’t help, but a 5:00 shadow can do wonders for making a guy’s face appear more mature. Don’t do the full-out beard; that just looks like a young guy who’s discovering his facial hair for the first time LOL. Even if it doesn’t make a huge difference as far as apparent age goes, it’s still sexy ;). And don’t shave your chest/arm/leg hair either. That helps hide that baby-soft skin for a rougher, older look.

    Clothes…that’s a hard one. I wouldn’t suggest going around in a suit and tie constantly although that CAN make a guy seem more together because it just looks like you’re trying too hard. Go for khakis, chords, or nice jeans with a button-down-the-front shirt. (your outfit in the photo looks fine, you really don’t need to change that) Maybe invest in a nice watch that gives off “mature” vibes. :D And limit any additional jewelry to nothing more than say a class ring (hey, that ring says, I GRADUATED! LOL). When you’re approaching a girl, just make sure she can see it! Haha.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Who the heck thought you were an 8th grader?!?!

      OMG

      ...blind people....

      haha xD

  • i was reading this. I have the exact same problem. I'm 21, will be 22 in five months and people always tell me I look like I'm 14 or 15. It sucks. I'm still trying to figure out how to look older for my age. I guess all I can say is just keep being who you are. Just be confident and that will draw the girls. Definitely. What I've noticed myself is because I look so young, people think I'm all sweet and innocent and always tell me how "little and cute" I look. It really sucks. People my age think of me as a little sister. Like I'm in high school or something when I'm actually a sophomore in college. But mainly, if you have to, work on your confidence, maybe the way you talk, etc. But to me, you are very cute and look about your age. Women notice confidence and personality more than anything. And if girls are that focused on how you look, then maybe they're not the right ones.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Hey, this is just a continuation of my last answer—ran out of characters haha.

    After you’ve done everything you can with your appearance, just work on your walk and your talk. (I mean this literally). Practice doing an on-top-of-the-world macho swagger. It can do wonders for making you appear more “with it.” When you talk to girls, act like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and that you’re a pro in the dating game. (If you are, great, if not, fake it!). Don’t use kid language (dude, sweet, chill, etc.) but be natural in your speech. You don’t want to sound like a walking dictionary (that screams GEEEEEEEK), but you don’t want to use all the cool-guy lingo you picked up in high school either (which screams IMATUUUURE).

    That’s all I can think of at the moment; hope it helped, and if you’ve got more questions, comment/message me.

    ~Katie~

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you Katie, for the wealth of advice. That was a picture from Halloween, so the surfer haircut and goofy smile was more for the occasion on that one (I normally wear my hair down in a shag style). I do have a large vocabulary, but I learned a long time ago to put most of that away when I'm socializing with girls, as you had suggested. I also have a nice watch that I got last year which I haven't worn yet - maybe it will change the age perception of me just yet, haha.

    • Great! I hope it was helpful. : ) As a young-looking girl, I totally sympathize It’s clich, but just remember that when you’re 40 and look 30, it won’t be such a bad thing! It’s just at the beginning of adulthood when looking younger than you are is the most annoying.

      And since you’re a guy, you will mature later. My dad also had the baby face issues so even though he was 6 ft, at 20, he looked more like a 15-year-old. But he caught up to everyone else later and aged slowly and gracefully :)

  • you should be flattered if anything, I would think. Like.. when you're 80- 60 year old woman will be coming on to you. sure now it will make you feel bad, but later, it would be awesome. at least that's what I think. Besides, if a girl really cares for you, she would care less about what you look like, no?

    I have the complete opposite thing going for me. I'm 17 and people say I look like.. haha your age. trade me?

    It's weird though, because there are a LOT of guys who would kill for your position. Plus you're hot.. lmfao. I'm just saying..

    0|1
    0|0
    • Since I wrote this a while back, I've learned to accept and appreciate my proverbial full cup from the fountain of youth. Even some days, I can't believe that I turn 26 in a few months, lol...thank you for the kind words. :-)

  • easy: go for younger girls!

    no but seriously I personally prefer younger-looking guys [slim guys with baby faces and no facial hair], but maybe because I look young myself and I'm just weird.

    but for most other girls in their 20's I would say.work out more? since you already apparently tried everything else. also don't just try to make yourself look older but also act older, somehow.

    or just go for younger girls if they're okay with you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The last three girls I've dated were all at least 2-4 years younger than me, but I'm hoping to find someone at the same stage of life that I'm at right now (out of college/pursuing higher education, their career, etc) that could identify with me a little more, someone who knows what they want out of life. Thank you for your advice also.

  • wow you do look quite young, but I'm not surprised to hear you are 25. I wouldn't worry too much about it, though, because a female friend of mine specifically likes "guys who look like 4-year-olds". Her ex boyfriend just looked like a little kid! You definitely look like an adult, but you just don't look as old as you are. So maybe 18 or 19.but it's not like you look like a child. Anyway, I suggest stubble perhaps--not a beard or a moustache but stubble. You could also wear shirts with your college on them, but the way I see it, looking young shouldn't be a problem. Maybe date slightly younger girls?

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for your advice. I actually had to start wearing stuff displaying my college logo when I do my freelance reporting, because on one occasion just a year ago, the mayor of a town asked what high school newspaper I was writing for, haha! As far as dating younger girls, the last four I've dated were all younger and things didn't go well for various reasons. Not to completely oppose it, but I think I might try to go for someone in my age range or a year younger. Thanks again!

  • That’s a tough one. It’s definitely harder for a guy to look older.

    It depends on how you carry yourself. You need to be a little arrogant, while being a gentleman. I also think that when you open your mouth, your speech should be eloquent. That might make it easier for a girl to take you seriously. Moreover, if you’re hitting on girls at places where there will be high-schoolers or college freshman with fake IDs, I’d say find a new hang out spot. I’m sure this wasn’t too helpful, but I just wanted to reassure you that I think girls can get past the “he looks so young” when they find out that he has “everything else going for him.”

    good luck!

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for your advice , I could change up my list of hang-outs and see if that works. As far as "everything else going for me", I probably should have clarified, lol. I love my job (professional writer/reporter), I have a good sense of humor, know how to treat a girl, etc,

  • Don't worry!

    Some people look younger, and that's even better to me!

    I'd think you were pretty adorable!

    haha ;)

    1|0
    0|0
  • haha I have the same problem as a gir. ( I don't appreciated it much) but... I really like younger looking guys. I don't know why people think it's bad. hmm... I think I have to find all of the posts that talk about this and let them know that it's not a problem.

    u don't have to look older, but you can carry an id in case a girl wants to double check. carry car keys so they know you drive umm... talk about colllege so you can maybe state what year you are that way there's no mistakes as to how old you are.

    :) or date younger girls?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah, I now try to mention things in conversations that let people know I'm in my mid-20's instead of my late teens. Thanks for the reply! :-)

  • i am 24 and think you are cute.i just think you should get ur teeth done like whiten them ask dentist

    1|1
    0|0
  • well the hair is kinda hishchoolish not gunna lie but its still hot. why don't you try going for grls a little younger then you. I'm not saying to go back to hs grls but what about early 20s. but I mean eventually you'll find a grl who likes you for you so it doesn't mattter, you can make a joke out of it when you see that look on their faces and just reassure them ur age

    1|0
    0|0
  • just be who you are, you 'll be grateful for your youthfulness when you're older. I have the same problem, I'm 22 and look 17

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • Man, I just turned 24 in June and I can COMPLETELY relate. In fact, I just started working at a juvenile booking facility (I know... how the hell did I come up with that job, right?), and this lady cop makes a BIG deal about how young I look every time she comes in with a kid.

    Honestly, I haven't really found an answer. And this whole, "you'll appreciate it when you're older crap" is utter nonsense. Guys don't want to look young, we want to look distinguished.

    It's really starting to get to me...

    0|1
    0|1
  • this is what I think, guys like us are normal, and the ones that look like there older, I think there ageing 2 fast, characters in the bible lived for hundreds of years.

    i think it media telling us what we need 2 look like, but there wrong

    i think its the way people are forced 2 live like, that causes people 2 age faster

    work 8 - 5 mon - fri, the way we eat, aclohol, drinking, medication, all sorts of crap that force and/or help stress us 2 old age quicker

    dont worry about what other guys look like, because when you and all your friends are 60 years old, you will be the only one 2 look like he's 40

    0|1
    0|0
  • Ha. I totally relate. I'm 33 now. I still get carded all the time, the other guy in the bottle shop didn't believe my ID was real. Even when we I went out with a friend, all his friends were asking who was the young guy... There are pros and cons to it all. I guess I've generally seen it as a positive. One problem, is I find girls my age generally look a bit old for me, but I prefer girls who look young for their age, or at least, with younger skin on their faces.

    I have some female friends making sure I don't date younger girls around 20, cause they think it's wrong. I wouldn't look for a relationship with someone much younger than me, but if I really got along with them, I wouldn't rule it out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hello there my friend! Well, there are plenty of us with this issue. I am a Hispanic male who just turned 28 and I have always looked younger than my age. I´ve had plenty of embarrassing situations as well. I have a baby face and have very little facial and body hair (due to genetic reasons), even though I developed well and my voice is deep. I am not muscular but have a decent male body. Unfortunately, a few years back I let this issue take over my self-confidence and it was letting me down. I did my undergraduate course in Australia and because of looking young, I tended to be shy and not hit on girls. Every time I went out I prayed to not get carded or be told comments like "you look like you are in high school" to avoid the embarrassment. A girl in the entry to a strip club once told me "oh you are 19? you look 12!" hahaa this was nearly 10 years ago, but I still look young, but not that young anymore perhaps. Anyway, looking young is not an incapacity nor a flaw, it is just a gift from God that we need to learn how to deal with. Even though I am 28 now and still get comments from most of people that I look somewhere between 17 and 23, I don´t let it be an issue to me anymore. Period. It will only affect you if you let it so. Life is too short and valuable to waste it feeling bad or having negative thoughts for how young you look. If you want to be taken seriously, act your age, read a lot and try to be up to date with social and political issues, increase your general knowledge and tell your opinion. This helps to be regarded as a more serious young adult, and it has worked for me. Besides, girls love guys with a positive attitude and who are confident. I consider myself to be attractive, but being positive, nice and showing self-confidence has helped me with the ladies. Every time I get told that I look "youngish" now, I just say "yes I know, don´t think you are the first person who tells me this and certainly you won´t be the last". That shuts them up. Joke about it as well. "Yes, thanks, you see, it is my good life/ genes". Laugh at it and act confidently and you have it done. Do not let this bother you. Think of all the people suffering from terrible diseases out there who don´t give up, why would you if your "problem" is looking young? I have decided to not let it bother me anymore, and I genuinely regret having sort of wasted my younger years for not feeling confident enough. So that is my advice for you and for anyone "suffering" from this. Now I am about to fly to another country to study a masters. I am damn sure that I will get the same comments everywhere, and I am prepared to let them slip and live my life to the fullest and concentrate in things that do matter. Get that chin up and face this like a man! Remember, it´s all in the attitude. Best of luck and God bless,

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...