So not being tall is more of a turn off than overweight tall men?

All my gf's exes have been very tall but unattractive (heavy or really scrawny with very average faces) and selfish losers (the one lived off her and never paid for anything). I am very fit, and feel like I have a very nice face, my girlfriend told me in the beginning she couldn't believe I hit on her, because I was the most attractive guy to ever talk to her. From seeing pics and meeting some exes that are in her group of friends, I can confirm this.

I think she is less attracted to me than she was to them because I'm average height 5'9". I've never thought my height was a problem but we've been having physical problems with her getting turned on, so now I'm concerned that this is an issue we can't fix. She is a big girl (5'10" 170lbs) and does not like it, she always went to very tall men to feel smaller, after I first talked to her and got her number, she had second thoughts about it because she never dated anyone my height.

Here's my points of concern:

she has a history of being very lusty and having a lot of desire

She would chase the man and throw herself at him

She has never had a problem getting wet before me

She would sleep with men very fast because she was curious about them (ie. turned on and was imagining what sleeping with him would be like)

But she told me, if I didn't come after her and work for it she wouldn't have been interested or thought about sleeping with me

So is it likely that this is the issue we are having in the bedroom and she doesn't value the type I am enough, so there is no fixing our problem? And before I get any answers saying just dominate her, that's what she is not picturing I can do, which is keeping her from getting turned on; I am the only fit, never mind most fit guy she has been with, I can pick her up, whirl and throw her around in ways she hasn't had before.

Very early on she told me her biggest fantasy was to do it standing up, but could never do it cause she is too big. The next time we were in bed I pulled her right up off the bed while we were entangled, and went right to a standing position, fantasy fulfilled. I guess that's what's so frustrating I'm able to fulfill her fantasies when other guys couldn't, but she still wanted them more.


Most Helpful Girl

  • "My girlfriend told me in the beginning she couldn't believe I hit on her, because I was the most attractive guy to ever talk to her."

    The problem isn't that she's not attracted to you because she clearly is. I think it's more of a confidence issue with herself, she probably doesn't feel pretty enough for you and it makes her way less confident in bed. That's why she usually go for guys who aren't as attractive, now that she has someone who's more attractive she's out of her element. Make sure you let her know that YOU'RE attracted to her too.


What Girls Said 2

  • are you sure she still wants them more? Your not that short. Do that kind of thing where you pick her off the bed more, what's wrong with that? and when your with her in bed be a little more aggresive, she might get more arroused. And if it fails, there's other women out there. Plenty.

  • to be completely honest, it sounds here like she's insecure about herself and she's projecting it on you by trying to make you feel less attractive when really she's just upset that she's a "big girl" with such a good looking guy.

    • thanks, all the girls had pretty nice answers. I will try more to make her feel as gorgeous as I see her. And wanted to clarify "big girl", I don't think there is anything wrong with how she looks, I think she is gorgeous and more importantly has the personality I fell for so I love every trait and feature that might have added to the development of that personality. It's her that thinks/calls herself a "big girl" and it's mostly her height she is talking about, she hates being taller than most guys and dressing up to wear heels which pushes her over 6ft.

What Guys Said 1

  • F*** her in the ass, problem solved