Why would a married man continue to show mixed signals?
My question is about a married man, I know, that's bad. I'm not asking because "I want him" or "he told me he'd leave his wife" or anything like that. I have no intention of starting anything with him.
Let's start with the fact that I'm not 100% positive that he's married, but I'm pretty damn sure. And if he is married, I don't think its very "happily".
Upon first meeting him, I don't believe he was married. I think this happened fairly recently.
He has always been so kind to me from the start...rare, but effective touches (my back...the small of it), favors, displaying concern, staring but then looking away when caught, remembering things... what have you.
Then sometimes I'd feel like he was ignoring me. Sometimes avoiding eye contact. I'd think he maybe thought he was leading me on and then would pull back, except that this was repetitive. Its not as though he did the nice things and then started acting strange and that was it. He'd start acting nice again.
In fact before this last time I saw him he was extremely friendly, and now when I saw him again he barely spoke to me.
He's a very nice and friendly person, but quiet and not really one to expose a lot about himself... I would love to be his friend, but with him continuing to act like this I just get so confused and frustrated. Its like I get my hopes up and then I'm like "wait, no, what the hell am I thinking?" If he was just normal and friendly it would be fine... but just little things that I can't exactly pinpoint make me believe he has interest.
If he just wouldn't... if he would just act like a guy who is married who is able to be friends with a girl just like other married men I know, then there would be no issue and I wouldn't have interest. And then the mixed signals tell me even more that either he feels guilty or he's confused.
I think he's a good person, I just don't get why he can't be casual...I try, but when he makes me nervous with the strange behavior I feel super uncomfortable.
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Most Helpful Opinion
What Guys Said 2
It may be that he really cares for you, that it isn't just a physical attraction. It might be close to impossible for him to keep that inside all of the time... maybe his cycles of hot/cold are him wanting to be close to you, and then trying to pull away because he recognizes that you are not interested in him that way.
Perhaps it is guilt, but I think it is more related to his reacting to what he feels for you, and the recognition that you don't want that.
I don't think you really have anything to worry about. though the touches to the back are probably benign and harmless he sounds like he's trying to be a good friend but also trying not to give you false impressions. Why don't YOU ASK him if he is married? at least then you will have some parameters to establish the kind of relationship you want with him? Logic rulz hon - Casanova3
What Girls Said 1
Hi! A lot of time has passed, so I think your problem must be gone by now. Can you tell us what happened? Are you still avoiding him? Is he still giving mixed signals? Is he really married? Do you think he was secretly in love with you? I'm finding myself in a very similar situation. I'm single, and a married co-worker has been giving me mixed signals for the last 10 months. If you want I'll give you the details later.