Why would a married man continue to show mixed signals?

My question is about a married man, I know, that's bad. I'm not asking because "I want him" or "he told me he'd leave his wife" or anything like that. I have no intention of starting anything with him.

Let's start with the fact that I'm not 100% positive that he's married, but I'm pretty damn sure. And if he is married, I don't think its very "happily".

Upon first meeting him, I don't believe he was married. I think this happened fairly recently.

He has always been so kind to me from the start...rare, but effective touches (my back...the small of it), favors, displaying concern, staring but then looking away when caught, remembering things... what have you.

Then sometimes I'd feel like he was ignoring me. Sometimes avoiding eye contact. I'd think he maybe thought he was leading me on and then would pull back, except that this was repetitive. Its not as though he did the nice things and then started acting strange and that was it. He'd start acting nice again.

In fact before this last time I saw him he was extremely friendly, and now when I saw him again he barely spoke to me.

He's a very nice and friendly person, but quiet and not really one to expose a lot about himself... I would love to be his friend, but with him continuing to act like this I just get so confused and frustrated. Its like I get my hopes up and then I'm like "wait, no, what the hell am I thinking?" If he was just normal and friendly it would be fine... but just little things that I can't exactly pinpoint make me believe he has interest.

If he just wouldn't... if he would just act like a guy who is married who is able to be friends with a girl just like other married men I know, then there would be no issue and I wouldn't have interest. And then the mixed signals tell me even more that either he feels guilty or he's confused.

I think he's a good person, I just don't get why he can't be casual...I try, but when he makes me nervous with the strange behavior I feel super uncomfortable.

To clarify -- I DO NOT want anything with him. Before I had any idea that he was married, I did have an interest. I see him all the time and I want things to stop being weird, but I don't even know what is going on with him so I don't know what to do.

Most Helpful Guy

  • if you think he might be married STAY AWAY! he probably is.

    • I agree, stay away. He's probably married and looking for something on the side. They all say that they are not "happily" married...but they will never leave their wife. These guys want their cake and eat it to. You will save yourself a lot of grief by cutting ties with him. Trust me, I know. I'm not proud that I crossed the line with a married man, but I did, and you don't want any part of it. I ended up hurt and looking like a bitch...in reality I was for doing that to another woman.

    • First thing I said was I don't want anything with him. I'm friends with some people he works with, like his boss who is a 38 year old married man... I'm also friends with his wife. Since I see him multiple times a week, sometimes alone, it would be really nice if I could just have a conversation with him and be his friend... but his behavior is so strange that it makes me uncomfortable. I would like to be able to have a normal conversation. He never talks about his marriage, happy or not.

    • I think the best thing for you is just to keep it professional - Casanova3