The experts are right... treat a women like crap and she'll love you more!

OK first of all... this girl posted the above statement in her "details" and it threw me for whirl!

This is what’s wrong with Women these days (certainly not me!) They strive to feel even the smallest amount of affection from the male chauvinistic pigs that treat them like crap, & call them men/boyfriends/husbands… what have you… When they FINALLY get the attention or affection their “men” have been lacking to show… women indulge themselves in their own little world thinking their relationship will really work and that “these men” are actually coming around when from the start these “men” should have been showing that kind of affection/attention. I don’t think women realize that men are men and they are how they will always be… men don’t change… YOU can’t change them… if they are an ass to you from the beginning then they will forever be an ass… I mean OK if they are sarcastic then fine but there is a line between being an ass to be funny and get and keep your attention or being an ass for no reason… if they start to belittle you in the smallest ways… I PROMISE it will get worse… whether he beats you with words or uses his hands… its will eventually get there…. why women insist on allowing men to treat them like nothing, using and abusing them dumbfounds me… People NEVER stop learning so if you “teach” a GUY he can treat you like crap and keep you in arms reach he will continue to do it.. DUH! Nip it the butt! If he doesn’t like it he can split… The Nice guy always finishes last YES but the above is why… I don’t understand why women don’t go more for the good guy vs the mean one… don’t they see when you get a good one he treats you like the queen of his world not the scum the earth? Don’t they know what it’s like to be truly loved? What do they blame it on? I’ve heard people learn what love is from growing up… um.. maybe… but does that mean if you grew up with hugs and kisses that you will do the same to your kids or that if you grew up seeing your father beat your mother or vice versa that you will do the same? Um… no… you LET people treat you the way they treat you… and love the way you wanna love…

What are your thoughts… and no I’m not a scorned female by any means… just tired of women allowing themselves to be treated this way and then look for sympathy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My thoughts?

    My thoughts are represented in this graph I drew a second ago.


    (In economics, the marginal utility ((in this case, I called it usefulness)) of a good or service is -the utility gained (or lost) from an increase (or decrease) in the consumption of that good or service-. )

    Apparently girls seem to have a motivational drive for gaining a guy's attention they find interesting. They'll do whatever the hell and everything, and centralize their thoughts, becoming obsessed with the guy and getting to their goal. This is indicated by the first dotted line - by giving only a slight of attention, she'll be happier to have it than if you gave her lots. And you must go over this limit sometimes to keep her interested.

    It's a damn messed up mindgame, really. But it has to be played, or you will lose. -.-

    The second dotted line shows the end of the friend zone, by the way. If you show more attention than she wants, then she'll feel threatened or forced, and will attempt to avoid you completely. Hence the giant fall in marginal utility.

    This is my current theory anyways - and also that many girls seem to believe that the frustration that motivates them to get the guy's attention and affection is LOVE itself! Therefore, the moment the guy shows any affection, she has reached her goal, and she "loses her feelings".

    Yeah, people are basically that stupid. It's ridiculous.

    • Ok, I have to say I love you for applying an economic principle to this, as I am an economics student. For me the friend zone doesn't exist. Give me too much attention though, and I'm thinking you want to fit me with a GPS locator or you just want in my pants. The last paragraph - sounds like you're dealing with some emotionally immature women. People don't "lose feelings," like their brain has a hole in it. That is stupid, indeed.

    • Thanks :) I love economics' representation of the motive behind human actions - a constant evaluation for NPV at each given situation and maximalizing value... It makes perfect sense.

      Truly, the friend zone seems to exist in case the girl is either not initially attracted or if you have some sort of unacceptable flaw that basically "turns her off", or just gets uninterested. It's strange, really.

      There are girls out there, many, who "lose their feelings", say "the flame is gone, I'm leaving".

What Guys Said 17

  • I believe the statement, "THE EXPERTS ARE RIGHT... TREAT A WOMEN LIKE CRAP AND SHE'LL LOVE YOU MORE"comes from the girls' expectation of a "hot guy"(who are generally assholes) being nice and caring.

    Everyone's idealistic view of a relationship partner is that they should be beautiful with an amazing personality. This is the reason why some of the girls are attracted to hot guys, because they want to prove to themselves that these attractive men are "different" from the assholes they've met before.

    Some girls don't learn; when a guy treats her bad, they break up. And then they get back together, in hopes that they've changed something about himself. And then he breaks her heart again. Then get back together...and so on. It's a vicious cycle, and every time they get back together, it heightens their expectations.

    So I don't think the girl actually believes being treated like crap will allow her to love him more...but rather, when a guy treats her like crap, her expectations about the guy is heightened every time the guy gets back with her.

  • LOL@ "nip it in the butt!"

    I don't think girls are particularly fond of being abused. I just think that nothing turns them off faster in a guy than the appearance of weakness or neediness or insecurity. And yes, that includes even being a jackass for most women. But at the end of the day, all the emotionally stable ones will prefer a strong guy who's also a good guy over an abuser.

  • Because woman are apparently natural born masochists...

    • LMFAO... I guess that's true for some!

  • nip it int he butt! XD. it's bud :p. And yea but what the theory is is that nice guys are boring. You get cool nice guys too though, but they get a girlfriend and don't go crying waaahh nice guys always finish last because we're nice no other reasonnn.

  • I'm sick of women like this, and I no longer have sympathy for them. After all, it's their fault for putting up with it. What's funny is lots of these girls treat good guys like sh*t. If you don't want to be with someone, tell them with class. Recently, I befriended a girl who seemed really nice, but she turned out to be a liar. She's now with this guy who has obvious anger issues. Ya see, that's why most girls don't like "nice" guys because they are just as fake as "nice" girls. They play the part until they get what they want. If they don't succeed, their true colors splash out and they give you hell. Women need a good man who will be kind and loving but firm if she's out of line. Of course, I've seen them leave if I stood up for myself. That's why I could care less about being with someone now. Damned if I'm a doormat, damned if I'm a d***...

  • This is so strange, yet I see it. My wife, for example. She states that her ex-boyfriends treated her like crap and yet she had been drawn to people like them. I came storming into her life in a rather unusual way and I think my kindness freaked her out. I had to keep trying to win her heart until I succeeded. Now I'm not the greatest person in the world, but I do try to be nice. And I don't believe in getting angry - it's just not me, so she doesn't have to fear me.

    But she has a friend. She's quite nice too. Similar scenario. She keeps going from one boyfriend to the next - treat her like dirt. It seems like both her and my wife don't know what to do with a "nice" guy and push them away. Luckily I was persistent.

    • Very True girls don't know what to do with nice guys... except run... lol good on you for being persistent. I really don't understand women/females these days... I can't seem to get my head wrapped around it.. I mean I understand the whole " I wanna fix him " complex but it NEVER WORKS LOL.. ladies need to (for lack of a better term) "MAN-UP"

  • i don't date those kind of women if a guy treated them like crap and she stayed with him it next to impossible for me to take her seriously

  • In my opinion, the stereotypical "hot douchebag" isn't actually a douchebag. Guys usually label hot guys like that as douchebags because of jealousy. Yeah, there are a few guys who get a lot of girls at my school, and yeah, they're definitely douchebags. No question. But more often than not, a guy with a hot girlfriend isn't actually a douche. Just my thoughts. But I agree with everything you said.

    • only part your wrong about is " I agree with everything you said" becaue that completely contradicts your response

    • Well what I meant was I agree with what she said about abusive boyfriends getting worse and stuff. The only thing I disagree with is the number of girls who actually have REAL douchebag boyfriends, not just ones that "nice guys" (a.k.a. pussies) label douchebags.

    • If she changed all her generalizations about women into generalizations about /some/ women, I'd completely agree with her. And also, like I said in my answer, most of the "hot douchebags" aren't actually douchebags.

  • The trick to being a good man is pretending to be bad, while actually being good. Pretending to be a villain is so much fun!

  • sorry but this myth needs to be dispelled cause its BULLSHIT.

    A guy with options is going to seem like he treats girls "like crap" simply because he has a ton of options and he won't put up with her bad traits. If she starts acting rude, selfish, disrespectful or anything negative etc etc, he's going to walk right the f*** out of there. Every lonely guy is going to say "oh my god that guy is such a jerk!, I would die to be with her!"

    And so, the "assholes get the women" myth is born

    Girls like strength, and nice guys have no spine or confidence so they are unattractive. Their neediness kills any potential they have, which means any guy with just a teeeeny bit of confidence will get her instead.

    Theres no reason a kind confident guy can't get tons of women (which might lead him to become a "jerk" in the eyes of others)

    • Lmao With that retarded face you could at least find a personality. Please keep posting, I love it! BTW they're making tremendous progress in the field of antipsychotic medication

    • Show All
    • I'd rather show strength by fighting

  • Sorry to say, but study after study shows if you show interest in a woman it makes the guy less attractive to the girl.

    While I agree with what you're saying, sorry, but the facts are facts. Most girls are attracted to assholes and guys who show them no interest :\ I wish more women would listen to you. But ya, most guys realize "hey I act like an ass I get more ass" so they act like an ass. Your gender is to blame for being so stupid in this regard and mine is to blame for being so weak as to compromise their honor for sex.

    • Very TRUE... a GIRL (<-- big emphasis on girl) will usually walk away from a guy who shows TOO much interest but a woman will usually hang around a bit... if they get clingy that's when they run...

    • Show All
    • SMH* LOL "boys well into their years" YEP! Well some at least.

    • Ya, some people do mature, but most don't :(

  • What you described is a typical manipulative relationship, and if such relationship reaches the marriage, then as you described then there's wife-beating and child-beating alcocholic father, who always promised to change but never does.

    What a terrible waste of life. Yeah, women fall for it, and it also pisses me off!

    They fall for it because they're still young and naive, they trust that their terrible boyfriend miracuously may change for better, and they are ready to endure a lot of crap because they believe in all those beautiful things they've been told, although it's all lies.

    But women also pretty often manipulate and mess around other guys, so it's not a gender-thing, such actions mostly are performed by psychopaths, and they can be either male or female.

    If you ever happen to be in such relationship, end it right on the spot and you will be glad about it in the long run, because you got to deal with the reality that such people never change under any circumstances!

    By failing to realize that can cost a lifetime of suffering!

  • I wish I could beat up a girl's boyfriend, because girls hate "nice-guys" because they are weak, timid, passive, well I was aggressive for a long time only to always get rejected, it just makes me want to make women pay for treating me like dirt.

  • it depends on the person

  • I know there are exceptions, but my experience has been that girls prefer the jerks (mostly). Those of us who DON'T run our mouths and DON'T have the "game act" and the phoney "nice" usually end up alone and totally off the radar screen.

    • you have a point HOWEVER as mentioned there is a difference btwn being a jerk to get a girls attention vs being a jerk all the time... honestly that's how some guys get my attention but I mainly go for the guy who makes me laught whether he be the one who stands out in his circle of friends or not. The girls who stick w the jerks and only pay mind to them in my mind have yet to learn or grow up...

    • It's true the problem is greater with younger women (& girls). Unfortunately many of them become jaded after long term exposure to losers like asailum, (the moron below me). \/

  • Amen. Luckily I am a good guy. +1


What Girls Said 8

  • PFFFFTTTT! ABSOLUTELY NOT IN MY CASE! treat me like crap and I'll kick the guy to the curb...not got enough time to be dealing with that nonsense.

  • Sadly,i agree with what you're saying.I read so many questions on here where women are sticking with these knuckleheads who are verbally abusive,or cheating,or beating them,ignoring them etc. And all I'm thinking is..."Are you that desperate to actually tolerate all of that?" I can't believe the non sense...seriously. But you know what? Some people go through it...and they do learn from dealing with the crappy guys. I've dealt with them before,and damn it..alot of nonsense I have tolerated WILL NEVER happen again.I respect myself too much to allow some dude to treat me anything less than how I should be treated. And because of this realization within myself,ive been attracting a whole new breed of a guy...the good ones.I wonder why a lot of women just can't seem to get a bloody clue.

    • Good for you! Esp. since you're eyes had been open to just how special you are and how you DESERVE to be treated...

  • I agree with you that most women love it but personally if a guy treats me like crap I get offended and stay away from him. It's a HUUUUUUGE turnoff! I like nice, funny, sweet, guys with huge expressive personalities. Not "cool" badass guys. And if you blow me off and treat me with disrespect it's ugly in my book. So guys don't believe that nice guys finish last. It's not true. If you want a real woman and not some lapdog then treat women with the utmost respect. Nice guys are the guys that get married one day while guys who put on a front will never find happiness. Trust me. :)

    • Aww, cute profile picture :D

      I love australian shepherds.

    • Show All
    • They're awesome as puppies and as adults.

    • totally true :) personally my favorite dogs are golden retrievers but I also love aussies :)

  • I think it's full of shit! I think it's guys fantasy of being some kind of Casanova Playboy asshole -he can play a cool man without being an idiot. I'd love to have a man who treats me nice and is adventurous and exciting not boring -so send me more exciting but I guaranteed you can be a good person and the exciting to because I am!! The reason I found this question was I googled: "can and man love a woman enough not to treat her like shit?" That is my question. Maybe in the beginning he can be nice during the interested phase but then after being together for a while, the guy turns into a motherfucker. I'm not sure I want to man ever then- who needs that kind of disappointment?

  • girls like that get on my nerves but what can you do. hoes gone be hoes. if you don't respect yourself no one else will but everyone wasn't taught better.

    i will say that a lot of these "nice guys" are either manipulative, or passive aggressive jerks, or spineless men. that's not attractive. it isn't as simple as "stop going for the ed hardy douchebag bad boys and find a nice guy" um no. people always point fingers at how messed up girls are but fail to mention that guys are equally messed up. if girls grew up in dysfunctional households, thus don't know how to be in romantic relationships then what can we say about their brothers? guys are just as bad and there aren't too many genuinely good men to choose from anyway. even the "nice guys" are f***ed up because most of them are only nice because they have an agenda.

  • All girls/women will need to experience being with a guy who's an asshole. But just an asshole not some wife beater. How do you know what things you will find annoying or offensive etc? you date an asshole that makes it all very clear, then proceed from there to looking for a nice guy

    • but you see that's just it when a female finds that "asshole" she thinks she can change him or that he loves her otherwise why would he treat her like that ? majority of the time when she threatens to leave he changes for a couple of days... and there it all starts again... know what I mean?

    • But you'll never learn if you don't experience it, some women are more hard headed than others, one women might date one asshole to realize that they don't change and another women may date several and still not realise. But as much as it makes sense to you doesn't mean you can make others see sense. Eventually they should come round to your way of thinking :)

    • valid point... some girls think you are trying to take her man if you hint at the fact that he treats her like crap.

  • Guys only give lots of attention to the best looking girl they can find. If he has good traits, he can get a really hot woman. These traits can be looks, smarts, humor, ambition -- whatever. All guys are nice to who they find hottest. Only a few guys are actually nice. Therefore, most guys end up being nice to girls who are the hottest they can get with the traits they have ... meaning he isn't as appealing as the guy she wants.

    • being nice is the start and most guys are nice in the beginning however when they know they have you wrapped when they beccome douche bags... well some... not all.

    • Exactly! And its not just so called "hot guys" ... lots of people are like this. I'm sure there are women like this too.

  • And you forgot to say that a lot of guys think that all girls fall for the jerks,i don't like them at all,they disgust me.

    i remember that I did yea fell for a guy once "cuz he was sweet and nice to me" But later after amounts of time he turned to be the opposite of who I really liked,that made me HATE HIM SO MUCH And now I won't even talk to him even if he did apologize to me and will never ever be in a relationship with any guy like him.

    I was so disappointed.

    And no I won't let any guy who says 1 bad word about me in my life,simply I'm full of myself and I love it enough to hate any1 azzhole to me,no1 own me or even have the right to say anything bad to me.

    I don't accept to live disrespected,the worLd is full of great people who will treat you good there is no need to put myself down and make fun of it and destroy it because of a worthless douchebag.

    All girls who loves to be treated like slaves are sick and need to see a doctor.

    I never wanted in my life to be called names or even disrespect by any1.

    so not all girls want that.

    and even my dad never said 1 bad word to my mom though,they fought a lot but it never went to calling names and sh**.

    • Even Disrespected By any1 *

    • LOL I'm the same way... sounds bad to hear that a female is full of herself... but if we can't stand on our ground then everyone will try to walk over us... good for ya!