I am Black with "Good hair"

[Stacyzee]

We are born as a clean slate.

Loving all beings including ourselves.

As we begin to grow, society helps to mold our shape.

Painting our views, that sooner or later become tainted.

Even our hearts may become shattered.

We used to love everyone and everything

but now we reject even ourselves.

What is good hair?

The term "good hair" is a popular term in the African-American community. It is used to describe a black person's hair that closely resembles that hair of a typical white person (ex. soft, manageable, long, as opposed to being "nappy" which is considered "bad hair"). The closer your hair is to a white person's, the "better" your hair is.

By the people in our very own community,

We are said to be less beautiful because we choose to love ourselves,

by not conforming

to what society says is acceptable for our appearance.

Why can't I honor who I am?

Without being judged, ridiculed or made a fool.

I love me!

And I will, every day!

In the media,

the only images being displayed are women with

lightened skin and bone straight hair.

The further away from their phenotype

they appear, the more beautiful they are said to be.

Society is subconsiously,

brain washing the up and coming generation.

Instead of young girls running wild and free with their natural hair,
they are sent the message, that in order to be beautiful they have to

acquire bone straight hair.

Are people of color really to blame?

Or are they victims to society?

The racist mentality has never left,

it is only better hidden.

To me,

"Good hair" is not defined by whether it is closer to that

of a Caucasian's hair texture.

"Good hair" is strong and healthy.

It exists amongst various different cultures.

Whether it's silky straight or kinky and curly, it is beautiful!

It is what distinguishes us from many other racial backgrounds.

It is a part of your identity, and is what makes you unique to others.

Pre-historic events have influenced the way we treat others in our own community.

We were badly wounded once in time.

Injuries are closing,

and are still healing.

Hate crimes still exist.

We cannot simply "get over" something that has gotten better over time,

but still is occuring.

It is very common for various ethnicities considered (people of color) to deal with racism in their own communities.

• Racism in Asia


• Racism in Puerto Rico

Those are just a FEW of the many I found on the web.

Lets stop defining our beauty by those that are closer to the "white standard".

Instead love yourself,

You have to live the rest of your life with you......

so why not start now?

[YourFutureEx]

Sometimes I wish I were black
i2.wp.com/.../black-men-fade-haircuts.jpg?h=360
diego1999.com/.../...r-black-men-wallpaper-hd-.jpg
diego1999.com/.../...rstyles-men-hd-wallpaper-.jpg
They have killer hairstyles 😍
_____________________________________

Why on earth you're not an editor yet?

[Stacyzee]

Yes... some do. Thanks for the compliment.
I wouldn't mind being an editor but have not yet been asked.

[Starfishlover]

I honestly think that Black women are the sexiest of all races.

[DeltsBrah]

Most girls are straight not bisexual

[Gojira]

Absolutely correct. The only thing. Media brainwashing with selective imagery and subliminal messaging with words. That's been going on since the invent of the printed word. Heck, even before that. It has gotten more powerful (and sinister) with each new technology. You've awakened. You know now. That you've been brainwashed in many ways your whole life. Not just by the powers behind the media, but they are the biggest culprits. Now here's a kicker. I've been brainwashed my whole life by the same systems that brainwashed you. The effect is just different.. the results the same. You have courage and wisdom. You woke up. I'm sure you've been called all manner of names and been told you're wrong, etc by blacks and whites, more so by blacks. But they're blind and can't see it, or won't. Even though I'm white and lived in Asia most of my young life, I know vid still been effectively brainwashed in this country. I woke up. Stopped drinking the koolaid. I'm in the process of re-washing my brain. I can see that you are too. I challenge everything even if most of the time only in my own mind. I trust nothing the media tells me and watch very little tv. Maybe documentaries or old movies. But I stay observant and try to teachable. I can only imagine what you must endure when sharing these truths. I can't find the tight words, but i feel very proud of you. I'd truly like to know someone like you... with the freedom of mind to see the truth and try to share it matter how vile and cruel (and ignorantly stupid) the backlash. The world, especially the black community in America, desperately needs more people like you. Especially black women. It's frightening when you realize that many Americans don't know if what they think/believe is really what they think/believe or if it's what they've been programmed to think/believe. I have to challenge everything in think I know/believe and put it to the test. It'll be a lifelong process. Not everyone is capable. I wonder if I am.

[Stacyzee]

Thanks for your response. :) . I'm shocked that your Caucasian and writing this. Some of the whites I have met refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem around.
It's great that you see that there is.
In order to be part of a change we have to acknowledge what lies before us.
Definitely being in a foreign country helped surface those racist problems to life.
Just curious about your experience in asia , were you treated better? How did people treat their own that were slightly darker?

[Gojira]

No problem. I just try to see as clearly as possible and let fear and emotion cloud my judgement. I'll be glad to share my experiences in Asian countries and some of my observations. It may take awhile since I'm working today. Just don't want you to think you're being ignored or that I don't want to answer. Ok?

[Stacyzee]

Sure. No problem :)

[CuriousCody]

Some few things to add:

Some black female celebrities have literally lightened their skin with bleaching creams (no photoshop involved)

Such celebrities are Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj for example.

Also one more thing to add on hair:
Lots of black women texturize or use weak perms on their hair to achieve a loose curl look, not a straight hair look.

Those who go for the straight hair look definitely want to convey a more Eurocentric appearance. But those that texturize are going for a loose curl look.

And since Afro hair is pretty much tightly coiled curls, going after looser curls wouldn't mean they're ashamed of their natural hair.

By loose curls, I'm referring to the average Latina's curls for example.

I texlaxed (1/2 texturizer + 1/2 conditioner) my hair to make it easier to manage and give it a more visible curl pattern.

I don't hate my natural hair or anything, but I'm too lazy to pick it out and I can't rock an Afro to save my life. And because of bumps on my skull, I can't keep my hair short and faded like most black men so I have to reach a compromise.

What I'm trying to say is that some women may texturize/perm their hair for the same reasons I do and not because they're ashamed of their natural hair.

My mother has naturally curly hair (beautiful loose pattern), but she straightened it cause she felt that looked more professional. I always get happy when I see her natural curls trying to emerge back, but she crushes my hopes when she straightens it again. My mom would be an example of the women you mentioned in your take.

Overall good take, but there's always another side to the story and that's what I felt like adding

[Stacyzee]

Yes. People do things for different reasons.
I am okay with people even perming their hair , wearing texturizers, or weaves.
What I'm not okay is with the people that refuse to see themselves in their natural state because they are ashamed. These are the very same people that obsess over "good hair".
The blacks that temporarily change their look just for easier maintenance (that don't share that ignorant view), that is acceptable and I personally find nothing wrong with that.
Thanks for adding and clearing up any confusion some may have.

[HoneyBunny420]

Beauty standards change all the time. I personally love the diversity of people's looks, there are certain outfits that I could never wear but they look great on others so I still get to enjoy the beauty.
I think you're forgetting that a big part of being viewed as attractive involves having common features that people are used to. Marketing is going to promote the common standard as it relates to a wider range of people. I don't think it's necessarily racist, just more business savvy.
Media has a funny effect on all people; no matter what your age, gender or ethnicity, you can be influenced by what you see. If you always see models with a particular style you'll start thinking that's how you should look, it's the same with media and body image issues surrounding weight.
I like your post but I feel like you've put too much emphasis on racism as the reason, whilst it may have played a part it is definitely not the only cause. Please remember that racism exists within every culture, it does no good to hold onto past injustices when every group throughout history has suffered. It's really hard to travel uphill when you're carrying a heavy boulder x

[Stacyzee]

"Beauty standards change through out time" , that is true when we are speaking about someones weight , breast size and boob size. However , something that has remained over time and have not washed away is the white standard of beauty. "Racism exists within every culture". I stated that within my article. I even added links that show other people's stories and the hardships they have been through within their ethnic group/culture. "I feel you put too much emphasis on racism". That was the whole highlight of this article. I am tired of people using a derogatory term which spreads ignorance and makes others feel inferior. I made this article to be a eye opener on what goes on in certain communities and to re-define what "good hair" means to me, without the negative connotation. If I stayed away from racism in this article it would have been useless to me because I could not have made my point or send the message I wanted to spread to others. "it does no good to hold on to past...

[Stacyzee]

injustices". I did not reference myself in this article. So, I am not holding on to anything. I am simply making people aware of a issue and letting them know they are still beautiful. They do not have to lean towards a standard that is automatically set up for them in society.
I stated in my article we cannot simply let go when something still exists. Instead together we must overcome it. We must band together and set our own standard of beauty. We must love ourselves not the image society as painted for us.
There is no resentment being held on to like you claim. Again, I am speaking about a issue and letting people know in their natural state they are still beautiful. We do no have to tear others down when they do somethin as simple as wear their natural hair.

Thanks for your response and expressing your views in a mature and healthy manner <3

[SakuraChii]

I hate it so much when I see black people hate on other black people. I feel like it's more on the women though since we have to always keep up with our looks, I rarely see black men panic over hair. I myself, am trying to go natural yet I don't see any problem with women who relax or use weaves. I wish that the world would be better where minority races/poc turn away from society's standards, there is an obvious preference for lightness but that will probably never happen or take 1,000s of years.

[Stacyzee]

Yes, I agree with you.
I'm a black person that loves all hair styles whether it's silky straight or a weave.
The problem I am getting at is, when someone refuses to see their hair or wear it in its natural state because they don't want to be seen as ugly or unattractive.
When I was a kid, I was told by other children I needed a perm.
I was the only 12 year old in my class that had natural hair.
It's sad.

[LovelyyLaura]

I believe all hair is good hair only if you take care of it right. What I mean by that is one who uses the correct product, one who doesn't have like tons of dead ends. I love black hair so much. I wish I had it because I just love the texture of it, it's just so beautiful to me. Afros, braids, twists and all that, it's just exotic and beautiful. The picture of the woman (3rd) I love her hair! People need to understand that long loose curls aren't the only type of hair that's beautiful. My hair is 3a/3b and I always get compliments but it's not the only hair type that is beautiful.

[Stacyzee]

Yes , I agree.
Hair is only good if you care for it.
"Strong and healthy" is my definition of good hair

[LovelyyLaura]

Exactly. But just because someone is just black doesn't mean they don't have good hair. Society and media are white washing us into thinking anything that is similar to white or even close to it is the ideal beauty. We fall into that and sometimes actually believe it. But I think men play a role in this too. I've noticed a black man would rather have a girl with good hair (mixed or of other race) than one who is just black. Which of course makes black woman feel bad about their hair. There's a girl on instagram and I absolutely love her hair. Her @ is @sixteencats

[Stacyzee]

Thanks for your input.
I agree with you 100 percent.
I'll check her out

[Anonymous]

Ugh, shut up. The media also portrays skinny, tall, blonde hair and blue eyes as superior, I don't hear all the Europeans with dark hair & brown eyes complaining. I don't hear Latinas complaining. Hate will always exist in the world so to sit there like "well no I can't get over it because it still happenes so I'm going to talk about hair texture because I feel insecure and then I'm going to bring up race to validate my meaningless point;(!!" Is just an attempt at attention and an excuse to whine some more, it's quite insufferable. Growing up in an area dominated by minorities and being the only white girl, I was never told I was pretty by the kids at my school, I was teased for my pale skin and pointy nose but you know what? I never felt ugly because I had the most nurturing but tough mother that made me feel beautiful all the time. Perhaps you should concern yourself with the dysfunctialty in the black household rather than this "white beauty standard" bullcrap, the real problems is in your own communities.

[Stacyzee]

*you aren't capable of expressing yourself in any other way (correction )

[Stacyzee]

@cipher42 you are responding to the wrong person. I am the asker of this article.

[cipher42]

@Take owner: I realize that. I was responding to the asker, as she did reply to my comment. Apologies if that was unclear.

[Stacyzee]

It's okay.
I responded to her as well.

[amarahorrorstory]

I used to relax my hair as a child because I begged my mother to let me, because al the white girls had straight hair. She knew I would regret it once I was older but she let me. In my sophomore year of highschool I stopped. My hair is 3c, it's about to my shoulders/collarbones now. I never did the big chop so I had to slowly clip it off. It's the longest it's been in a while. I do straighten it and no heat curl. I don't wash it very frequently so I don't have to do a whole lot to it. As my hair grows out I plan to wear it natural more frequently.

[Kountry_King]

I like this post no I loved it. It wasn't what I thought it was when I first saw it. black women are really told more about having good hair over the men but their is no such thing unless it's like the strength or whatever. but magazines and such make some black women want to have straight long and blonde hair no they should embrace their natural kinky hair. I see white woman make their hair frizzy and curly so their hair is similar to African Americans we get brainwashed to throw away our identities so others can now pick it up.

[menina]

Great take!
I'm sick of hearing black people using this term. It's seems that we are on a competition to see who has "good hair" and who has "bad hair". It's just stupid and degrading.
Our hair is what makes us unique and it should be preserved and valued.

[findingdreamland]

To me what is good hair is sth suiting you. I love thick black hair type. I think it is gorgeous.
static.tvtropes.org/.../Missandei_6687.jpg

[LookatDuhDonkay]

That girl is fucking beautiful... I got the biggest crush on her fine ass.

[findingdreamland]

yeah she is gorgeous :) @LookatDuhDonkay

[SirenDep]

I was actually shocked when I realised that many celebrities of colour were being photoshopped to look paler... Or that Asians would surgically alter their eyes to be more almond shaped. At the same time, many caucasians do solarium, which is carcinogenic

[lanternhill]

I loved so much of this. This applies to Black hair (I capitalize it to distinguish it from just dark hair) and I think to looks in general. People are so stuck on looking a certain way - and it's worse for people of color because race/ethnicity play a major part in it. Healthy is beautiful in my opinion. White or looking white - not necessarily.

[Yc2K15]

Fuck the white standard lol. I love black hairstyles and awesome crazy shit girls do. Just none of those braids n shit like Joi from the movie 'Friday'.
Japanese dudes also have awesome hair lol. My hair looks like your typical white soldier. I wish I had some eastern european dna at least!!!

[BumbleSuperBee]

Wow <3 I loved reading this! It's Reallyy beautiful how u wrote this take and I'm glad there are people like u who don't get offended by what society says about them. And I do hope it encourages other black people, or of another ethnicity to love themselves just like u do <3

[Anonymous]

There is no such thing as GOOD HAIR. The term was made up by a segment of Black people who were Color Struck and highly valued the features of Caucasians. This forced fed image of beauty (light, bright, and damn near White) with silky smooth textured hair blowing in the wind and swinging in any direction that person turned. Hair so manageable that you can run your fingers through it without a snag or any problems. Little Black girls painfully had to sit down between their mother's legs and get popped with the end of a comb and/or brush while being told to be still and undergo some mild form of torture just to get the hair straightened. Mulatto children had it easy because the hair is a different texture. Quadroons and Octoroons inherited the same texture of hair.

[Anonymous]

Why people in Europe are not obsessing about this? im from mixed raced (west africa/east europe) family and all this whining about good hair nonsense always comes from U. S.
Rock your Fro, damn it.
Fuck everybody else.

[Opinion Owner]

Wait i wanna say that maybe i was too rude, but yeah i feel sorry for you that you had to experience all this (if i ever visit the states i guess ill get why you guys are so pissed off)

[Stacyzee]

"Why are people in Europe not obsessing about this?" How can one experience this when they already fit the white standard of beauty.
"... all this whining about good hair nonsense always comes from U. S". That is incorrect
Racism is universal.
Aside from hair texture , skin pigment , racial stereotyping (anything leading towards white is seen as better in many cultures... blacks get stigmatized even by their own ). I've provided links that shows this evidence. You're welcome to even do research.
"Rock your fro". Yes ! This take is to inspire others to feel comfortable in their own skin.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean in my 95% white country i have never had any negative experience, in my 28 yers of life, because of my hair. I have huge kinky Fro, So i know what im talking about.

[Stacyzee]

Because you haven't experienced this personally you cannot exclude the fact that this happens to others and tends to a significant amount of people's experiences.
It's great it hasn't happened to you (yet).
Racism never feels good.

[Stacyzee]

*tends to be a significant amount

[Stacyzee]

I am not pisses off
My tone in this article is simply empowering and uplifting.
I could give a rats ass about what people think about me.
And it's okay.

[Opinion Owner]

I just dont want to sound rude to you as i realized i dont know how is the life of people like me in America.
Im sorry if i came out as rude, i like your post!😊

[Stacyzee]

It's okay <3

[RainbowFanGirl]

I am black with "Good hair" too. The media is brainwashed to think that anyone with Caucasian-like hair automatically has good hair. I enjoyed reading your take. :)

[Stacyzee]

Thanks :)

[miramiraonthewall]

I'm black, and I love my natural hair, however, this is an odd place to post it. Not to say that you shouldn't, but I don't expect most people here to understand or relate to it.

[Stacyzee]

I disagree.
"Mytakes" are put here so one can express their opinion or provide helpful tips to others.
I'm simply using this area on this site to do that.
Below there more plenty of ethnic people would appreciated what I wrote.
I find the ones that do not understand it are those who have not been exposed to it (have no knowledge of what I am talking about), they tend to be a different race (White).
If I were on their side of the fence I probably wouldn't get this too.

Thanks for commenting !

[Stacyzee]

Correction to line - (Below there are plenty of ethnic people who appreciated what I wrote ).

[Stacyzee]

Thumbs up for commenting !

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the palest people you could ever meet... That person that burns when it's overcast and I don't have straight hair mine isn't really frizzy but more big loose curls I'd hate to have straight hair and love the tight curls that is typically black people's natural hair curly hair is so much easier to look after anyway, no brushing 😂

[MickyMouse1231]

My mom wouldn't let me straighten my hair no matter how much I begged and finally my sophomore year in high school I started to love my hair. I wouldn't be me if I tried to look like someone else