10. Not opening up to the girl
Every day my girlfriends call and complain, I like him... but he is distant, why won't he talk to me for very long on the phone, he won't talk to me after he gets home, etc. Maybe the guy is in a bad mood, stressed, confused, hates the phone, etc... but creating the connection between the two of you is very important. This often leads to... is he cheating on me, or has he fell out of love with me.
"Creating the connection between the two of you is very important."
9. He spends way too much time with his guys
And everyone knows what I mean... If your first date you brought along your guy friends to dinner and a movie, or you stand her up to hang with the guys... prepare to be left. I have seen this one go as far as one of the guy friends hangs with you while another is hitting on your girl. You don't notice... she thinks you don't care, also closely linked to not interested.
8. Physical isn't anger management
A small argument turns into a heated battle. On the way out of the room it looks like a tornado just hit. Holes in walls, broken pictures, thrown objects, and the girl starts cleaning up the mess. Sometimes it goes a little further... grabbing of arms, objects thrown at her, hitting, strangling, or the dreaded emotional name calling. Not all but some guys think that scaring a woman will make her stay... trust me... usually she will find a way out. It really is scary within the first few months of the relationship, and I hear it too often, let alone what I have experienced. Leave the room, go for a walk, try not to raise your voice, and if you want to hit something... get a punching bag.
7. Foot in mouth disease
I can't remember dating a guy whom didn't have this, and honestly... it gets tiring dealing with the drama it causes... because it didn't need to be said to begin with. example- Husband talking to wife... You know I think your good friend so and so is cute... wife- yes... she is. Husband- you know I have thought about it and if anything was to happen to us I would hook up with her. wife- no answer for a few days... then explodes.
Why... yes, women know which one of her friends are cute... and which aren't so cute, but you cross a line when you talk about replacing her. Even if it is an honest relationship... it says you have given a lot of thought to who is next in line, and unless you are actually planning on moving on soon... it's better left unsaid.
6. The guy is just a jerk
Your friends hate him, he makes fun of everyone, puts people down, is shallow, rude, and flat out, a jerk. Everyone knows a guy like this. He can put people down, but if you even look at him funny... he explodes. If a girls friends think you are a jerk, if you have no friends of your own, if you find it funny to put her friends down especially to her ... you may just have an express pass out the door.
This one comes from personal experience- I was trying to be friends with an ex and this lasted only a month... whom started off with putting down my friends and family, from the way they looked "Who would knock her up... let alone touch her." to putting down my husband "How did you ever end up with a guy like him? I laughed when I saw the picture of you two together." Yes, he may have made himself feel better, but he looked insecure, let alone the fact that I told everyone what he said, and he is hiding from all of them. If you won't say it to their face... don't say it at all.
5. Little lies
This is a problem many women have... To men it may not be that big of a deal... but leads to many issues. No I wasn't at so and so's house. After we had a full report from a friend whom saw the guy there and called to see if you were heading over. Most girls are not complete idiots, and will be offended by the little lie trying to be passed as the truth. Over time the girl will try to catch you in more lies... if it has happened before and he didn't come clean... maybe he thinks he can get away with it. This usually leads to girls trying to see if number one has happened.
Trust will never be established, and she may start doing it back. In one extreme situation I had a girl call me balling, she liked the guy, but he had told her he was late because he ran into Rob Zombie at Walmart and he wanted to shoot a film with him... He wasn't cheating, but he just lied. Within a week that guy ended up to the curb. Leave the tall tales to the story books guys.
4. Too controlling
Where are you, who are you talking to, choosing her friends she can hang with, asking for her passwords early in a relationship, demanding to see her cell phone within the first few months of dating, not allowing any free time, blackmail, threatening her, and following her. Sometimes this leads to number 8. If a girl isn't going to be with you... why scare her into staying? This is often a big warning sign for most females, there is trust issues, anger issues, jealousy issues, and sometimes the girls feel that there will be a man out there with a lot less issues than this guy has. Some guys don't realize that they do it, so pay close attention men... if you start seeing this happen... back down.
"If things were so great, why didn't you move forward rather than stay right where you were?"3. How long to wait
I have had many women call me... I have been seeing this guy for over 6 months... he says that he likes me, and we have slept together, but he won't call me his girlfriend, he hasn't introduced me to his children or family, we stay over at his place and he stays at mine... but I have to leave when his kids get there. This is when I say "booty call". But when the girl backs down... the guy tries harder to get her back... offers to change... but continues on the same course.
Ok... so the woman fell for it, but I have seen many men do it, then the girl leaves, and the guy is on the phone crying... why did she leave me... things were great. Well... maybe for you they were, but sometimes a woman wants more. If things were so great, why didn't you move forward rather than stay right where you were? A relationship that is stationary for a man is sometimes fine... for a woman... it's stuck.
When you first started seeing her you showered her with gifts, love letters, love songs, candle light dinners, etc. Now that you have been together for a couple of years you buy her a birthday gift, valentines day gift, and anniversary gift. Not saying it is the gift itself, or that women are gold diggers, but get real... if you caught her by acting one way... you can lose her by being the other. Love letters, poems, love songs, a nice dinner... these things don't cost a dime.
- You stopped opening up to her
- You stopped spending quality time with her
- Physical arguments
- Your insecurities made you seem like a jerk
- You got caught in tiny lies, which lead to mistrust
- You weren't trusting enough
- You didn't show enough romance
- You cheated, or showed signs of cheating
Do something sweet for no reason... or even better... just to let her know that you are still in love with her. Too often men will let the romance die, then turn around and ask why he isn't getting sex as often as he used to. After being together 7 years my husband had done nothing romantic for me for at least 4 years, then my ex came around and he would buy me a teddy bear, a rose, write me a poem... If he could do it when he was afraid of losing me... why not more often when things are fine? It even came to a point that when he first did something sweet I asked what he did wrong... as in the past he would do it when he had screwed up bad.
1. The big one - cheating
Okay, you have made the big mistake, and she doesn't know yet. You have gotten away with number 5 a few times and decide not to "hurt" her with the truth. Most guys I know act guilty when guilty... maybe it is the fact you won't look us in the eyes, you start committing number 5 more and more often, you change your entire behavior, you quit talking to her afraid of committing number 7. Most girls are wise enough to pick up on what you have done. She may question you about it, back off for awhile, try again, etc. Eventually she will put it all together, and the fact she didn't hear it from you... makes it all the worse.
I have stayed with a guy when he has never been honest with me about cheating... but I have left guys on the assumption that he was. This one is a toss up to which way it will go. Yes, she may leave you... but there is a better chance that she will find out if not told and most definitely leave you then.
This does not apply to all women or all men, but is just a list of the most complaints I have witnessed, been a victim to, or have had other women call me about. Maybe knowing this might help a few guys from making some mistakes that other men have made. Maybe a few guys will read through this and it will hit them... that is why she left. I know sometimes women are just as guilty of these as men are, but as a woman... I chose to do it from a woman's point of view.