I have major depression and can no longer afford to go to therapy... what are some other options?

[Anonymous]

I'm always so sad and depressed. I sleep my day away. I force myself to hang out with my friends but the whole time i'm with them, i can't wait to get home. The only time I am truly happy is when i'm with my boyfriend.. but i dont want to be so dependent on him.. especially cuz i dont get to see him everyday so i'm depressed most of the time. I cry for absolutely no reason and I start fights with my boyfriend because i feel unloved when we are not together. I used to go to therapy and everything was great well i was there. it helped me so much. unfortunately though, I used up all my free sessions i got from school and can't afford to continue going. I stopped taking my meds because they give me headaches and heartburn and honestly were no longer working for me anymore but my doctor refused to change them or strengthen the dose. i didn't feel comfortable taking a medication that wasn't doing anything. the only thing that seemed to help was therapy.. but now what?

Updates

+1 y

This is exactly the kind of advice I need. Not being in therapy anymore has made me feel like I have no options, but all these ideas that all of you are giving me is giving me hope and will help me to work with myself to be happy.

[soulove_]

Depression is hard, but it's not permanent. Always, ALWAYS remind yourself of that. You can change.

I had depression, which was bad because I didn't even know I was depressed. My mom actually suffered from depression all my life, so to me if felt like natural way of things. However, what helped me (and I know it sounds cheesy at first, but it really helped) was spirituality. I was agnostic and figured if there was a God, I'd hate him anyways, but I hated that mentality. How can you hate what gave you life? So I got into reading different religions and found that Buddhism was interesting because it mostly focuses on being HAPPY. Letting things go, not forgetting anger and fear and sadness but using them as tools to better find HAPPINESS. It's really interesting if you want to try that.

Also, I started eating healthier. I mean, you may want to say "Fuck today and everybody in it" but you don't ever want to tell that to your body. Your thoughts are power (more on that in a sec) and your body uses what you think on how to better fit you. So if you tell yourself, "I'll at least take care of my body." Your body will take care of you, it will get healthy and strong and on the days I swear I wish I could shut everything off, I at least get to say, "At least I'm healthy and I look good," and that helps tons.

On the thoughts having power bit, look into Law of Attraction, watch The Secret, learn about "manifestation" and listen to Abraham Hicks. Study how to be happy and work on it vigorously. You absolutely must not give up because I promise, hun, you'll find it. Depression is a state of mind and like everything else in life, it can change if you really want it to. And if all else fails, come back on here and we can talk it out.

[Asker]

I have read the secret and it is such an amazing book and very helpful, that was a few years ago but i should pull that out again. I will definielty look into buddhism. I am christian but i'm sure i can use some of the ways of life that they use to help me feel better. I really like your philosophy on your body taking care of you. thats great. I do work out often, its the eating healthy and having an appetite that is most difficult for me. I dont even like food anymore... i find it all tastes the same and is so boring.

[soulove_]

Yeah, like who says you can read about other religions and see what little details work for you? It's your life! And on the food: I've been a vegetarian for years and I find by doing that, I feel really good especially on bad days because I get to try new things all the time. There are so many good substitutes for meat that being a vegetarian will become your main focus because you want to see what things you like and don't like that you stop focusing on other things. Plus, you get to think, "I'm saving lives, I'm saving my own life, and I look damn good."

I don't even exercise and people compliment on my figure all the time. Just for being vegetarian. But like I said, it will take a little time and a lot of mind work, because being depressed, you've accidentally trained your mind to be sad automatically. However, the saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is completely false, especially pertaining to your thoughts.

[Asker]

do you have any good advice or recipe websites for vegetarian meals? I'm not a vegetarian but i'm not a big meat eater. I dont really like it that much. I could easily be a vegetarian i only find it hard because i don't know what else to eat. I heard though, that vegetarians are often very healthy people.
I agree with your comment about training your mind to be sad.. there are times when i actually want to lie in bed and think about sad stuff. its kinda fucked up to think that way lol. but its happened. i'll purposely think about shit that makes me sad... like a pity party for myself and i need to get out of that.

[soulove_]

I like vegetarian blogs, especially Tumblr if you know the site (I follow cheapveg. tumblr. com, which is a vegan blog but it gives a lot of recipes and pictures, veganvegetarian. tumblr. com is really good, and also justabitvegetarian. tumblr. com all good food blogs). For meat substitute brands, there are MorningStar for like chikn patties, hamburger patties, hot dogs etc, Smart Ground for like ground "beef" and sandwich meat, Gardein, Tofurky, Sweet Earth. Seitan is a really good substitute for meat that you can use in anything you want; salads, sandwiches, barbecue it, stir fry it, its so versatile I wanna marry it. I get strips and put it in burritos lol. And protein (often asked) can be found in: green peas, quinoa, peanut butter, nuts, beans, tempeh and tofu, leafy greens, hemp, seitan, non dairy milk, etc.

[Asker]

awesome, thank you so much! i appreciate it :) i'll look into all these.

[soulove_]

And yeah, I used to get like that too. I'd convince myself it was fun and it'd help me out. What I do now is, when I even get the slightest feeling that I'm not doing okay, I ask myself, "How am I feeling right now?" If I answer back (so cheesy lol) irritated or annoyed or putting myself down, then I look at that. If I'm annoyed and ask what's annoying me and try to get rid of it or work around it (some things don't disappear, ughh). If I'm upset with myself, I literally give myself a pep talk like "Well you tried. No matter what anybody can say, I KNOW you tried and I'm so fucking proud of you for that. Btw, good job getting up today. You even brushed your teeth, right on. AND you showered and did your hair? Whoa. You know what? Fuck what anybody got to say or think, half of them didn't even try." Try that in the mirror. It works so well I have fun joking around with myself now lmao

[soulove_]

No problem! Always glad to help, and thanks for naming me Most Helpful! Much appreciated and I hope you feel better soon :D

[Asker]

lol thats a good idea. when I was in therapy thats what my therapist used to get to me to do. i would talk to myself and ask why i wasn't happy and then i would be my "other self" and give myself advice. having a full on conversation with myself. It felt really awkward and silly but it honesty helped because it showed me I was trying and that i need to be proud of myself. What you said just brought all that back and I should really try it outside of therapy too.

[Asker]

this is exactly the kind of advice i need. All these options to help me focus on other aspects of my life and to put my energy into other things rather than into being sad is what i need. Its really helpful to have other options besides for therapy. Thank you

[soulove_]

That's good to hear. And it is a little weird, but it helps me the fastest.

You should already be proud of yourself for even asking your question and the fact that you're so interested in changing. That's a big step, most depressed people can't do what you've already done, so be proud. You're well on your way. Take it one day at a time and like I said, if you ever need more advice or just want to vent to a stranger, you totally can do that with me. Knowing what depression is like, I wanna help as many people out of there as I can.

[Asker]

alright thank you :) yeah as soon as i realized i've had depression i've wanted to change. i see it affecting my relationships and lifestyle and i dont like that. Luckily my mom has been on my side and helping me a lot with vitamins and she's understanding when i burst out crying over something stupid like "someone ate my french fries". which i laugh about afterwards but at the time was REALLY upsetting. haha Thank you and i'll definitely take you up on the "Talking to someone" offer, because although i feel good right now, its only a matter of time before i forget all this advice and feel lost again.

[soulove_]

No problem and good cause I promise, you could never annoy me. I want to help the best I can. Just make sure you focus on the Now. Don't even think, "I'm happy now, but that can change later." That's depression trying to edge itself back into your Now. Train yourself to just think, "I'm happy in this moment." If you work on just trying to be happy IN THIS MOMENT you'll see you can fight depression off like a pro in a matter of months. Cause you aren't in the past and you aren't in the future. You're in this moment. You'll always be in the moment, there is always and only Now, so stay focused on that. We'll consider the future only when it becomes Now.

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I struggle with depression and anxiety, here's some tips that help me
-First of all, don't take medication for it. You'll just get dependent on them, and they really don't solve the problem. The problem is that you have experienced emotional trauma and you need to heal from that. It will take time but it's the only way to truly get better.
-Second of all, try to meditate or pray. Before bed, close your eyes and meditate. Don't watch anything upsetting or think about upsetting things before bed, try to watch something funny if you can. This will help avoid bad dreams, plus when you wake up you will feel better
-Look up Teal Swan on youtube, watch her videos about healing the emotional body and whichever other videos stand out to you. They are actually really helpful if you are willing to give it a chance.
-When you're really upset, take a piece of paper and write everything you're thinking and feeling down, as fast as you can.
-Try to think about all of the things you are grateful for. Such as having enough food, shelter, water etc

If you feel upset when you're not with your boyfriend, you might be codependent. Look that up for advice on how to work on not being codependent. (I have codependency as well)

[thetundrawolf]

I've been where you're at.

I used to take different anti depressent medications... Some worked very well, others made me almost go blind...

For a few years I was on a popular antidepressant... Then I lost my job. I couldn't afford to take the medication anymore. The depression came back with a vengeance... I was diagnosed Bilolar II, and had OCD and some other things. I have suffered a lot of trauma when I was very young. Sexual, physical beatings, verbal abuse.

I tried to battle it alone.. and my willpower only went so far.

It's been probably 14 years since I've taken any medication or even supplements for my mood.

That's not to say I do not get depressed or angry... I am just much more in control of myself. Even though I blamed God for my past abuse and pain, I turned to Him for help, and He gave it to me. God has saved my life and been there for me. I can credit nothing else. God is the reason I do not have to take drugs.

But it's not easy... Life is still a struggle. It's still difficult. I struggle with so much crap, sometimes I think nobody suffers like I do.

But I get through it. And I am SO glad I am off prescription meds. They were making me sick, literally... All i can do is tell you what worked for me. My Heavenly Father. (God through His Son Jesus Christ)

[momofthree123]

Beautiful answer :-)

[Asker]

I hated being on meds, I mean, if they were actually helping and not affecting me negatively it would have been fine, but I dont want to put something like that into my body that isn't doing anything. my doctor just kept telling me to take it but i had to be like "Fuck it. no. its probably doing more bad than good". I would never blame God and i often do pray for help and for my family to understand and to help control my angry moods. I'm not saying he doesn't help me, but i think i need to help myself too. I trust God to lead me to where i need to go but i need to work at it too.

[thetundrawolf]

Yes! You are on the right track. Keep working... For me it's been like hitting my head against a brick wall so many times it felt like my brain was gonna fall out. I totally feel you. And then.. Suddenly... God touches my shoulder and says... "You're free now."

Here is something that has helped me immensely. It's the root cause of the majority of my issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plx-YzNSgag

Watch that if you have time, it's a little over an hour. And yes... It's always a struggle.

[Asker]

wow! thank you :) i'll definitely watch it, probably before work tomorrow. i noticed there's a bunch more on the side i could click through too. this would be nice to just relax and listen to. Thank you! :)

[thetundrawolf]

Aww You're welcome :)

[thetundrawolf]

It'll get better. I promise you.

[thetundrawolf]

Jus to be clear, when I say God I mean YHWH and His Son Yeshuah. According to John 14:6 it says, " Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." In order for me to be in right relationship with God, Jesus must be Lord of my life, which means I am doing what Jesus commands in God's Word. This may sound preachy, but the happiest I have ever been was when I was following the Bible to a T.

[prettyhot98]

This makes me sad even though I don't know you , To hear that any child suffered like you makes a person angry with the world that this can be allowed , And some people are so evil. I'm not calling your family evil , But that they allowed their minds to be full of evil to do something like this. I'm proud of you for taking the forgiveness route , So many people wouldn't be strong enough to do so. I'm glad you're a christian I am to , Which is hard to find on this site. Continue to trust Christ , God Bless You !

[thetundrawolf]

Thank you, Prettyhot98. I can only credit God for the strength to be where I am at now. In spite of it all, I see the person who hurt me the most in most way as an old, for lack of a better word, "Pathetic" human being who is caught up in his own arrogance. God showed that to me... he is not some super power over my life anymore.

[jmr2191]

Most psychoanalytic institutes provide psychanalysis or psychotherapy at little to no cost. The therapists are usually analysts in training who already have a doctorate in clinical psychology or an MD with a specialty in psychiatry and the case will be supervised by another analyst with a doctoral degree, making for excellent collaborative therapy at little to no cost. Here's an example of one such institute: https://nypsi.org/File/6363/File

[rocelot]

Physical activity and hobbies would help out a lot. I know volunteering at a soup kitchen helped me out of a slump, and I still do it because it actually relieves stress. Though it would never be promoted by any doctor marijuana does help against depression but won't help you be any less lethargic and like any narcotic you can develop a dependency (lets be clear its a non addictive substance but like anything can be abused.)

[Asker]

i have tried to use marijuana to help but i always feel like it burns my throat and then the whole time i'm drinking water constantly to stop the burning lol. but if it really helps with depression i would like to try it. I am very active as is, but i could use some more hobbies and things to get me out of the house. I think thats why i liked therapy so much, it gave me something to look forward to, something to get me up and on the bus to campus when i didn't have classes.

[rocelot]

If burning throat a problem try less harmful forms of inhalation besides a joint, bongs are mostly water vapor and a vaporizer has no smoke at all. Remember it can also be consumed and can even be pilled once in a oil form. If you just need something to do volunteering is always a great choice, I prefer working at a soup kitchen but a lot of youth centers and elder hospices need help as well.

[rocelot]

I should also to say that it would be best to limit any pot use to before you go to sleep. It will help you fall asleep and create a consistent sleeping pattern. A couple of other odds and ends; running and cardio helps build endorphins well eating healthy will make your body feel better and thus you feel better. Find some enjoyment in cooking food, it can help a lot.

[Asker]

ya i would only ever smoke pot before bed, its not something i've ever really been into but my boyfriend and his roommates all do it so i'm around it a lot in the evenings when i'm at his place. It is through a bong that hurts my throat, i was wondering if the smoke gets too hot or something. maybe i could use ice cubes. i've never had this issue when i was in high school doing it with my friends.
working out is something that i often do, and it does help quite a bit. I should look into volunteering, i used to volunteer years ago and sometimes i help out with my mom at her work, she works with developmentally challenged adults and she does a lot of social nights with them. i should get into that again

[rocelot]

Try to use only cold water in a bong, it does smoke smoother and nor do you need to take large hoots. Try talking smaller hoots and finish with a big breath of air and do in an open environment.

[Asker]

alright, thanks! i'll give this a try and hopefully i dont have any problems with it. Its not something that i want to do all the time anyway, but its frustrating when i want to but all it does it hurt.

[Theguyoverthere]

You can try running or some sort of physical exercise for an endorphin rush. Plus it's a good way to work up an appetite if you have trouble eating.

I think you need to keep busy and have more stuff going on.

[Asker]

I work out a lot and it does make me feel a lot better, unfrotunately it doesn't last long for me. I often feel like i'm just running away from my problems by hiding them with distractions.. its probably not the best way to think about things but everything i do just feels like i'm being fake. I have a LOT of trouble eating. nothing is appetizing, I dont eat enough, most of the time i have to force myself to eat and i hate it.

[Theguyoverthere]

You can try liquidizing your food as much as possible to eat least get something in you like smoothies and such. Use a blender with bananas for example and make shakes to help get your appetite working.

[Asker]

I've tried that but i just got sick of the shakes after a few days. i can do it once in a while but Its so hard to finish my drinks now too.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried meditation? There are many different forms and it helped me jot necessarily get rid of depression but sort of coexist with it.

However it's worth note that sometimes depression is chemical imbalance and not just a state of mind.

[Asker]

I have tried meditation, i find it helps only during the meditation but returns right after. I know it isn't always a state of mind, especially with me, because i'm really good at forcing myself to get up and do things. forcing myself to hang out with my friends and work out and go for walks. But to me, those things are more of a distraction rather than actually helping me. I think its affecting my relationship negatively though because my boyfriend feels pressure to always have to be the one to make me feel better and handle my problems... he's good at it, but i think its a bit overwhelming for him

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you could then try extending it to yoga? The point of meditation isn't just that short period, but extending it to all facets if your life. It's helped me deal with my depression and stressful situation.

Then again, my depression could be very different from yours you know? It seems to change from person to person.

[Asker]

I do love yoga, I can't afford to go to any yoga classes or maybe i could look into some cheap ones. but i bet there's some really good YouTube videos i could watch online and do them. That would probably help a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe try eating a more balanced diet and stuff. I don't know how you eat, but if you eat healthier you feel better. While produce can be expensive, they usually have pretty cheap food in the discount bins or bags. You just have to check if it really is a big deal. It's all about the little things and the little changes.

[Asker]

I really do need to eat better. I'm still living with my parents since my university is local so i dont have to worry about the price of food. Especially when it comes to my mom and i know she'd try to do whatever she can to help me feel better too. its just the struggle of telling her what i want. she tells me to make a grocery list but i can't think of anything that i'd even find appetizing. i'm sick of chicken, and salad and fish. i dont know what else to eat

[Opinion Owner]

I tend to find, for me at least, I'd that I go into the tore with a set budget. After that, I then find food to fit my allotted amount of money. Maybe the bell peppers are cheaper then the green beans I was going to buy or something like that.

It takes more time to figure out what to cook, but it's cheaper to shop sales. I can never go in with a grocery list because I always change ming half way through the shopping trip.

However I always know I need some sort of veggie or some sort of starch. I have a general guide, but not something set in stone.

[Asker]

ya thats true, i should try to go do the shopping with her when i can. it might help to bring more ideas and then i can see what i actually find appetizing verse when i just look through my fridge and pantry.

[Anonymous]

Take long walks or bicycle. Help someone less fortunate, volunteer work etc. Keep busy n just don't sit idle to harbour negative thoughts. Do bit of gardening, are things grow, flourish. It's the simplest things in life gives you most valuable peace. Finally look in the mirror n smile, say you work for the government n protects people against the bad. keep the spirit high.

[realerthanreal]

I think it's sick that people even have to pay for something like this. It should be free.

[Asker]

ya i know, my school gives us 10 free sessions a year and if you really need it, they'll keep seeing you. but I used all mine up and then my therapist left, and when she left i was feeling great so there's no reason why they would give me more free sessions. Plus, i feel like i'd be starting completely over... having a new therapist, someone who doesn't know me... i'd be really shy and have to tell them all my issues all over again.