What is he doing with her? Is this going to last?

[Anonymous]

Alright, here it is...my ex and I have been broke up for 6 months after a 9 year relationship...we work at the same place...2 months after we broke up he started talking to a girl that also works with us...she is so not his type...trust me I know him after 9 years so that's why I am confused...she is 6 years younger than him, she has 2 kids (5 and 2) and he doesn't want kids, she is extremely skinny (which he thinks is gross), she is still legally married, she has several past court cases as well as a few current ones, she has several "jail house" tats, she slept with another co-worker of ours, she recently lost her license, she basically doesn't have a pot to p*ss in and nothing to offer him, oh and he is her boss at work...what is the deal...this chick is completely wrong for him and he is the joke of the century at work...they think they are slick by trying to keep it a secret but everyone knows...what is he doing and does anyone think this is going to last

Updates

+1 y

oh and she has said several times that he is not her type...she likes the bad boy types with the tats and piercings...well he is definitely not that...he is clean cut without a bad bone in his body...

Updates

+1 y

He has also made several comments about her to me that were awful mean to say about someone you have a thing for such as, she is trash, she is gross, and her kids look dirty...that was probably said to just throw me off the trail but damn...

Updates

+1 y

I DO WANT HIM BACK! I spent almost my entire adult life with this guy and we had a pretty good life together so I thought...we bought a house, we had (have) great jobs, 2 dogs, nice vehicles, a great sex life...what the hell? Then he picks her?

Updates

+1 y

well today is my birthday and guess where he was...at the nasty whore's house...great birthday present...

[Hunterboyz]

Wow...

Happy Birthday...

Don't feel so bad...

It has been 6 months...

Care to explain why you 2 broke up in the first place?

That would really allow us to help you better...

But you can't expect him to rush over after 6 months...

Thats not fair, I'm sorry...

I know how it feels to lose a relationship, but you have to keep that head up, and move on.

Check out this poem...

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

"So You Can Cry"

So, it's over

He's with someone else and you know her

And you just can't get any lower

Sit in the dark alone

And won't answer your phone

Well

I'm sorry

I won't attend your pity party

I'd rather go have calimari

Life isn't long

There will be pain but

Life goes on

With every day, a brand new song

But, if you'd rather stay at home

Let me do you a favor...

I'll ask the sun to shine

Away from you today

So you can cry

& I'll ask the clouds to bring

The rain for you today

So you can cry

I'm a lover

And the pain of hurt from another

Can be difficult to recover

Yes, this I know

But difficult

Isn't impossible

And you shiver

He wouldn't want you to cry

Lips quiver

Honey, go on and cry me a river

You wanna be down?

Fine, let me help you out

How 'bout...

And your tears won't bring him back

I know you wish that they did

But it just don't work like that..

I know that healing takes take time

Hey, even your heart has a pace

But, how much time are you gonna take?

Too much would be a mistake...

[Hunterboyz]

Well, as a guy...

I can see your reasoning as valid, but how sure are you that he's messing with her?

Unless you walk in on them, its going to always be an assumption.

If you want this guy back, then say so, but if you don't, you really seem to care too much.

If your right about the situation, then yea, he's an idiot for getting involved, but that's still his life.

Maybe he's trying to help her get on her feet. Maybe she talks to one of his friends.

I don't know what you want to hear, but my advice would be not to worry about it.

It sounds like it will not work from the beginning.

But who knows? Only him and her.

So make a choice, get him back or let him fly...

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

[rosieeebaby]

alright here's the thing. he is quite possibly, and I mean this in the nicest way, sick of his "type". after being in a relationship for 9 years, often times its nice to have a change. his "type" of women might remind him of your guys' relationship. so, though he might still find himself attracted to that kind of women, he might purposely be trying to steer clear of them. As for the woman at work, I think that you might be being a little harsh on her. since you spent 9 years with him, my guess would be that your ex was a great guy. is a great guy. can you blame this woman for going after a man as great as your ex when he is clearly expressing interest in her? I just think that after nine years there has bound to be some deep seated jealousy building up for any woman who either he goes after or goes after him. but you have to move on. scrutinizing every woman that becomes a part of his life will do nothing. they don't deserve that. he doesn't deserve that. hell, you don't deserve that. you deserve to spend your time enjoying your newly acclaimed independence, or getting out there and looking for mr. right.

[HopelessAndLost21]

Sounds like he just wants to get laid. That would explain why he's fooling around with some skinny, 'young' thing with nothing going for her. As to why, maybe he needs an ego boost or maybe he's venting sexual frustrations while he tries to figure his life out.

It's really strange, and I'm sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could be of more help. :(

[dazzlethemdead]

you've been with the same guy for nine years and he hasn't asked you to marry him?

and then he drops you for a hussy?

he's just not that into you then.

move on. get over it. you probably deserve better. you're crazy to want back something like that.

if you're together for nine years and he doesn't want to make you his wife, something is wrong.

[cango2]

Which means... If you're hoping for a chance to reconcile with him, and you "know" that she's not his type, then the odds fall well in your favor. We as men have phases. And sometimes, we go after the opposite of what our type is. It's more curiosity than anything else. I don't know why you guys broke up, but I hope what you need is what you get. Cheers.

[Paulmetto]

Who knows why he he is with her? If you are not interested in being with him, don't worry about it because it shouldn't effect you. I suspect, however, that after being with him for nearly a decade, there are some feelings you may have. Probably best to acknowledge those feelings but also set up some distance from him. You don't want to be involved with his new relationship.

[Anonymous]

Hi Hun, Going through exactly the same thing. Was with him 8 years broke up with me 6 months ago and he got a new girlfriend after 2 months - However I think more like 2 days!

I don't think she's dog ruff but not his type at all - well I thought she wouldn't be cause I thought I knew him but obviously didn't. Still feeling sh*tty bout it but what can we do. Just let him learn from his mistakes.

[Emilymarie77]

Sometimes what some1 has had for most of their life is not truly what they want. Maybe he got bored and decided to chg it up? Its possible or maybe he finally realized what he does like and its something that she offers him. You obviously could not know him that well - as this shocks you to your core and if you truly were what he wanted, he'd still be yours.

[Emilymarie77]

Why was I down graded for that answer? Really?! lolol

[manda1234]

Dude.

You've been broke up for half a year. AND he's going after some trash?

Be thankful you've gotten out of a relationship with him. He sounds like an idiot.

[BirdofParadise]

The term rebound describes this situation perfectly. Don't let it bother you cause he's only looking for comfort.

[itzzxhypnotik]

Yup!!!! rebounds don't last.

[sumina7]

Who knows! May be it is mid-life crisis. May be he has gone mad.

But why do you still care? He is an adult. He can take care of himself. You are not his mother!

[Asker]

I still care because after 9 YEARS I still love him...I spent almost a decade with this guy and I'm just suppose to be ok with this?..well I'm not....and you are right I am not his mother but I have done more for him in 9 years than his own mother did in 30...i worry about him because I don't want him making choices he is later going to regret or making a choice that will ruin his life such as getting an STD or someone pregnant...

[sumina7]

Here is some food for thought:

1. You are talking like you are his mother.

2. He is taking care of a girl who is like a daughter gone astray.

So, looks like what he wants and what you provide are different things.

[Hunterboyz]

WoW

Ay, he kinda cut you up on that food for thought...

but you should consider what was said...

Consider what he wants...

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

[nickiw1992]

He might be trying to make you jealous since you all work together. If you like him then talk to him about it and tell him that you still like him. If not then just leave him to do what he wants becuase he's also an adult.

[sweetpie09]

I don't think this will last. I think that since ya'll was and a long relationship, that he was too bored, and wanted to go out and do some crazy things now. I think he will definately come back to you. He just need time right now. I hope he doesn't want to get serious with that kind of girl.

[Asker]

What makes you think he will come back....it's been 6 months...we see each other everyday that we work and he never shows any interest in coming home so I think it may be the end of the road for this relationship as much as I don't want it to be.....

[l-hedoniste]

Actions speak louder than words. He can say what he wants, she might even know what he says. But she also knows whose bed he's in, which says more than anything.

[cango2]

Happy Birthday at least. You're above ground. That's the most important thing of all. The hell with him

[jajamie]

it won't last...just be patient and flirt with other guys

[JimSmits]

Have you considered letting him give you a facial?

[Hunterboyz]

LMAO

LOL

This provided me with the biggest laugh so far today!!!!

lol

ROTFLMAO

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

[sumina7]

Real funny one!!!

[ilizoh18]

well did you tell him how you feel

[Asker]

He knows how I feel but right now that seems to make no difference...

[Hunterboyz]

Are you sure he knows?

Us guys can be so clueless...

Females always make the mistake and feel that we know what's on their mind...

Why do you think this site exist?

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

[itzzxhypnotik]

nope, won't last,