Is Publicly Doubting Your Physical Appearance Really The Way Forward?

Is publicly doubting your physical appearance really the way forward?

Good evening friends;

Around two years ago (before the "How do I look?" category even existed), I asked random strangers on this website how they thought I looked.

Why? Because I was insecure about my physical appearance to the extent that it was holding me back in my social life. Over the years since I have become infinitely more confident and am now completely comfortable and satisfied with the way I look.

But did posting on here help? Probably not.

Sure, some people said I looked amazing (9-10/10). But even had I not been insecure, I knew that wasn't true. And on the other hand, some said I looked awful. And then some said I looked about average.
With such a huge deviation on opinions, and with less than 10 opinions to ride on, who do you believe? Are some trolls and the others telling the truth? Are the people who rate 3-4/10 the only people who are being honest?

In my opinion, this forum gives no REAL insight into your physical attractiveness - not only because photographs are deceitful, but because "true honesty" does not seem to exist in the majority of people's responses.

In general (and I know exceptions do exist), the only people this forum helps are
i) those who genuinely look fantastic - chances are they know it, and if they were insecure when posting their photo, they certainly aren't when the question closed.
ii) those who ask questions such as "which hairstyle suits me more", or "which profile picture would you recommend?".

It is THESE such questions in the latter category which this forum should be dedicated to.
Insecurity is not a healthy persona, and this forum does not make these insecurities go away, it simply fuels them on.

Thank you for reading, and I have two questions for you.

If you did post in this category, what were your experiences?

And do you agree that the nature of this "How do I look" category should be renamed and focused on self-improvement rather than self-criticism?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Have to agree 100% with this. Some people think that images are exactly how a person really looks, but they aren't... The camera angle, lens and lighting, as well as the angle and position of the person to the camera, all effect how an image comes out. Besides, images are 2D representations and we are 3D humans!

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  • I think that's probably true. You also have trolls that won't believe anything you tell them. A lot of handsome people are insecure is because they're forced to focus on it, and feel pressured to please everyone, and always look their best. Kind of like, someone says you're the nicest person they ever met, you feel obligated to live up to that around them, even when its inconvenient. So drawing more attention to scrutinizing looks might not be the healthiest option.

    Also, asking for opinions on the worldwide internet is not accurate. People's perception of beauty varies according to area. If you're in a small town full of average, generic people, even an averagely attractive person could be the "local beauty". The same person could be an ugly duckling in an international city full of gorgeous foreigners, Paris models etc.

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What Guys Said 4

  • 3mo

    I saw a picture of a girl.. she looked cute but i wasn't sure if i liked her that much... saw her in person... yeah fancied her 100%. I guess proportion can be out of sync in photos... if i take a selfie with my face closer to the camera my facial features look bigger... 2 meters away i look completely different.

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  • Dude, George Clooney would be 2 - 3 from these hater's who live to hurt others. Pieces of shi low lif MF' s. Don't play any or the gameS. And from now on its "Big Rob" or whatever you prefer. Nobody defines yoi. Get a cool lid, threads"

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  • just be handsome. What's the problem? Just grow a chiseled jaw and cheekbones and all your problems will melt away

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  • Very good points - First the rating scale is notoriously not standard - I think if you are posting for advice like a training regime or diet it is probably a good move - You will probably get a positive response.
    I also think cases like I have lost weight or post baby body get good responses. I find the responses to the younger ones quite good unless they pose in overtly sexual poses.
    This brings us to the normal user , the Rate Mes, they can be a lottery as you describe even the really attractive ones can get called Attention Whores and the others especially if fragile can be ripped apart by a "Troll" or a "Truthbomber".

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