Since we were little we've been told how our lives are going to play out.
We're going to go to elementary school, then high school, then we will go to a good college, then we will get a decent job, then we will meet someone nice, then we will get married, then we will have children, then we will pay for our children to do it all over, and then we will live comfortably with our retirement money for the rest of our lives.
But why? I mean, there are so many reasons you don't need to do any of those things. Just because something is what is considered socially accpetable does not mean that is how we have to plan our lives. And I feel that marraige is an important role in this, because if nobody ever told you that you will want to marry a nice guy/girl, would you even want to?
So here are my cons of marraige in a time when marraige really has no more meaning.
1) There's a 50% Chance You'll Get Divorced
In America just around 50% of marraiges end in divorce, the most common causes being, poor communication, finances, abuse, decreased sexual attraction, and infidelity.
Once you are married to someone you are no longer voluntarily enjoying the company of that person, you are legally, finanicially, obligatorily, and in most cases, religiously bound to this person indefinitely until you choose to PAY to reinstate your independance. These things often make people feel suffocated by the structure of being married alone, which distances them from their spouses, without which they may still just be enjoying being with each other, on their own volition.
2) You Are More Likely To Divorce if You've Been Married Before
41% of first marraiges, 60% of second, and 73% of third marraiges end in divorce. The more you get married, the higher the chances of divorce get, possibly due to you psychologically knowing there is a way to escape and becoming eager to do so again.
3) If You Do Get Divorced, You'll Probably Be F*cked Financially
Researchers estimate divorcing individuals would need more than a 30% increase in income, on average, to maintain the same standard of living they had prior to their divorce. Also, about 1 in 5 women fall into poverty after a divorce, 3 in 5 mothers don't recieve full child support, and men can expect a 10 to 40% decrease in their previous standard living as well.
4) The Likelihood of Cheating Rises With Marraige
The chances of your partner cheating on you rise after marraige, again, part of the "feeling trapped" concept. And EIGHTY NINE PERCENT of married cheaters NEVER GET CAUGHT. So if your spouse has cheated on you, you'll probably never know about it.
It makes sense, because if you're voluntarily with a person you won't feel impulsed to distance yourself from them.
5) 43% of Women Quit Their Jobs After Having Kids
Once a girl gets married she instantaneously starts feeling pressure to start a family, and a family takes time and your constant presence. Unfortunately, that responsibilty is almost always laid on the woman without question, and women lose their ambitions and careers trying to live an appropriate lifestyle that comes along with marraige. Why not achieve what you want to achieve, and then have children?
6) The Average Wedding Costs $26,444 in America
Why. Just why. Why is this money not being spent on smart career moves or getting put towards a place to live for you and your partner? Why are people going to spend this money on a big white piece of cloth and a ceremony that typically lasts 30 minutes?
7) If He/She Loves You Now, They'll Still Love You 10 Years From Now
Why do women always require men to marry them in order to prove they love them? You're doing this all wrong. If a guy loves you today he will still love you ten years from today when getting married won't have as much of a big impact on your life. It's the same way vice versa, men, sometimes women don't love you, they love the idea of a wedding and a husband, you just happened to be there when she wanted it. If she loves you, she won't need marraige after 2 years of dating.
Anyway, these are a few of the reasons I will probably not get married myself, or at least not for a long time. Hope I've added something beneficial to your day and that you enjoyed myTake!