Biblically Speaking, Men Are Supposed to Serve Their Wives

Biblically Speaking, Men Are Supposed to Serve Their Wives

Yes, it is men who are technically designated in the Bible to be the leaders and “rulers”. But that sort of leadership and rulership doesn't mean that women should serve men. To the contrary:

Matthew 20:25-28 “The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.


Eph 5:25,28-29 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.”

Men are supposed to love, nourish, and cherish their wives like Christ loved, nourished, and cherished the church. That’s a lot of responsibility. Because how did Christ exhibit His love to the Church? Christ expressed His love by becoming a servant to them (see Matt 20:28) and sacrificing everything:


2 Corinthians 8:9 "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."
Even his own life. (See, again, Eph 5:25)

The Bible also states that men should submit to their wives just like women should submit to their husbands. (Eph 5:21) So, yeah. Biblically speaking, men are supposed to serve their wives.


More info: https://bible.org/seriespage/22-submission-christian-husband-ephesians-521-32

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/husbands/what-should-be-the-husbands-role-in-marriage


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What Guys Said 49

  • I believe that the message from God is that we should not place ourselves before our spouses and that we should love them just as God loves us. However, Ephesians 22-24 is very clear:

    22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

    Husbands should be the head of the family but they should use their position of leadership to serve the family and not to make the family serve them.

    You are trying to put some feminazi spin on the Bible and make it sound like everyone else has it wrong; fortunately, you are here to set us straight. No sale! Why do you have that need? Are you unhappy in a relationship? Angry?

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    • Didn't you get the meme men are women slaves

      "Of course guys are slaves to us! Everyone knows. Even with sex, the woman directs or allows him to do anything. And she can take it all away whenever. Women have ultimate control!"

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27751-men-really-are-just-women-s-slaves

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    • The Bible says that men should submit to women too though. Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

    • Yes, it doe, but that does negate verse 23:

      23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

  • You left out the best part:

    Eph 5:22-24 "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

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  • Yes and no. Biblically the man is the head of the household. He is suppose to love his wife and consider her needs as if they are his own, she should be his chief console. But that's a great deal different than being a servant to your wife. Jesus lead the 12 disciples, yes at times he also served them, but he also rebuked them. He corrected them and taught them what was good in the Lord's eyes. In the same way a man should lead his family. Remember Adams failure was in letting Eve be tempted by the serpent.

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  • thats such a feminist view lol here is what it is actually says from another bible which i guess goes by good standards.

    http://biblehub.com/niv/colossians/3.htm

    and here is the verses im referring to

    Instructions for Christian Households

    18Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

    19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

    20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

    21Fathers, c do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

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  • biblically speaking we are supposed to love and serve another. there´s no direction or gender supremacy.

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  • Marriage is an equal partnership in which each spouse serves the other. This is consistent with Jesus' core spiritual teaching, the Beatitudes. Apart from Matthew everything you quote is from Paul, and the passage from Matthew has Paul as its source. Don't forget these few things. 1) Paul was a late-comer. He had no direct knowledge of Jesus' teachings. 2) All of Paul's letters pre-date the four gospels. 3) His lack of direct knowledge of Jesus' teachings plus his pagan, neo-Platonic education led him to independently rewrite those teachings according to his own mishmash of Pharisaical Judaism and Platonic philosophy. 4) As a result of all this the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke contain much Pauline distortion, and the Gospel of John is almost completely unreliable.
    With respect to your quote from Matthew, please consider Jesus advice to separate Church and state, Matthew 22:21, 'render unto Caesar etc.' This is kinder, wiser, and gentler than the abrasiveness so typical of Paul's style that comes through in Matt 20:25 & ff.
    Please keep an open mind and ask yourself how much of any gospel passage is Jesus and how much iis Paul?
    Hint: any mention of the crucifixion being for our salvation and the redemption of our sins hearkens back to the Old Testament and is therefore Pauline in origin. For Jesus on forgiveness of our sins, Sermon on the Mount. Matt 6:12 (the our father) forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. The very first verse after the great prayer, THE VERY FIRST, Matt 6:14 says '14For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; 15but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
    Fair play to him, Paul placing the monkey on Jesus' back is easier. Jesus gives us sole respnsibility for our own salvation.
    The crucifixion is about something entirely different.

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  • I think you missed a part there.

    Ephesians 5:22-28

    Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

    As for women. They need to be taught to love.

    "Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. 4In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, "

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    • Eph 5:21 "Submit to ONE ANOTHER out of reverence for Christ."

    • no wonder Islam is on the rise LOL

    • @Tammuz360 I would rethink that.

      Quran - 4:3 "3. And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry women of your choice, two or three, or four."

  • No, biblicly, historicly, and socially husbands and wives submited to each other, both where master and servent in the relationship ie they both needed each other. They may have had different responsibilities but both where important and where expected to be treated as such.

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  • Wonder what bible you are reading exactly, the one i read as a kid said no such thing. the highest it went up to was mutual respect.

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  • The version of service you're looking at is a service in terms of protection, not actual serving. It's more of a "I will make sure you're safe" service not a "I will do whatever you say" service.

    In Bible times women did whatever men told them to do.

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  • Good thing I don't give a shit about the bible then :P

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  • The Bible is more of a guide on how to live. Granted antiquated like certain parts of the laws that are created.

    Ephesians 6:2 "Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise"

    Now tell me how many of you worship your parents wishes at adulthood? only if you are clueless you will.

    Thou Shall Not Kill...
    Criminals on death row...

    And who are those who follow the Bible's every words, those who lack the ability to make decisions on their own. Does the Bible tell you what shirt to wear? what color socks?

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  • The great thing about love is that it doesn't discriminate by age, or race, or gender or religion. We all have a responsibility and (hopefully!) a desire to love, care for, and serve our husband / wife. It is not only the religious who have these morals and responsibilities, but the non religious (like myself) as well. I know that my future wife will be the most important person in the world in my eyes. And we should all feel that way.

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  • As a male atheist, I say let women do whatever they want. She has every right to her body and fuck those who say that they should be subservient.

    Even though I never had a girlfriend in my entire life, I still choose to be honorable and don't want to force women to do anything.

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    • The OP is talking about marriage, which is a biblically rooted concept and completely different than being single. Marriage, in the biblical sense, is a covenant between a man, a woman made before God for the purpose of becoming one flesh in every aspect of life, becoming one single body reflecting the glorious image of God all across the universe.

      To say that a husband and a wife should have a right to not submit to the other is like saying your heart should be able to not submit to your brain whenever it wants (or vice versa). The problem about that is if your heart refuses to submit to your brain, the whole body dies. That's why it's so important for a husband and a wife to serve and submit to one another; otherwise, the relationship ultimately dies and becomes pointless and chaotic.

      I hope this brings to you a better understanding of what the OP is trying to say. God bless you!

  • Amen Great Mytake. I'm really happy to be seeing more amazing my takes these days.

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  • Yep, everything you say is correct. And I have no problem with that at all.

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  • I'm not Christian but I'll always serve my future wife

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  • Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, not husbands submit to their wives. You can't have two heads or two leaders in the family. The husband is the head. Submit to one another is referring to God's order of submission: Jesus submits to God the Father, the church submits to Christ, wives submit to their husbands, children submit to their parents, and the public submit to the governing authorities. Nowhere are husbands commanded to submit their wives. It's just you trying to bring in your feminist agenda. Sorry, not falling for it.

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    • I didn't say that men have to SUBMIT to their wives (although, yes, the Bible does say in Eph 5:21 for men to submit to their wives), but that men have to SERVE their wives.

      YES, men are supposed to be the leaders.

      But that doesn't mean that women have to serve men. To the contrary:

      Matthew 20:25-28 “The rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

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    • If it's a feminist agenda to have husbands submit to their wives, what's the agenda named, to have wives submit to their husbands?

    • @Azara There's no agenda. It's God's order, just as husbands are commanded to love and honor their wives and be willing to die for them. Since women have been given the power in marriages, the family unit has crumbled. Women were never meant to have power because they're not emotionally capable of using it in the right way. When fathers and husbands had more authority, the family unit was very strong. Now that women have more authority, the family unit has fallen apart.

  • I agree.

    The whole implied contract of the original gender roles was that men do get the perks of making decisions and getting their ass kissed by their wives from time to time, but for this he had to put his life and health and comfort on the line every day to support and protect the family.

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  • We are also not suppose to eat shell fish. There is a reason the bible is BS. You can pick your verses to make your point.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Every leader ever either serves those they lead, or they are a bad leader. You cannot take charge of anything in this world, without taking responsibility for it as well. A man who leads his wife is also responsible for her happiness and well being. To warrant that kind of surrender, he better care about her as much as he cares about himself.

    That's what "he is her servant" means. It doesn't mean she is given authority at any point.

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  • you have selected the few verses applying to us, not even bothering to provide those which tell us to submit to our husbands also, and what this is supposed to mean. if you are going to explain something like this, you need to include as many perspectives as possible, because when some smartass comes along and shows you a different verse, you have the answer.

    i really dislike when people take verses out of context. no wonder so many atheists think everything we believe is bullshit.

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  • In a Muslim's Quaran, Men are Supposed to Serve Their... Parents First. Wives come Second.
    This put Sort of a Sour Ball in my Mouth, Which is Why, too, Our relationship as Husband and Wife, Went.. South.
    Among other things with me Not Returning to Egypt to live with him, This didn't help, neither.
    Good luck and Great work. xx

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    • Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you can either work things out, or find a spouse who treats you as you honestly, fair, and is concerned about your emotions as well.

    • @krash2002 Thank you so much. We are not together right now, I have not gone back, things became too Whack for me with his overbearing family and him putting them before me.. I feel I was treated unfairly, although they had love for me. xx

  • Makes sense, but as always, we're still going to be the lesser counterpart. This part of the bible annoys me, and was always that one section that I just cannot fathom, becuase in THIS sense I don't see what the benefits are of a woman getting married if she can't participate in decisions and anything the husband decides, it's what he says goes. So, really, none of this applies to me becuase I don't plan to be a wife for this is one of the reasons. But Yeah, sucks, no equality.

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  • I agree with Matthew 20:28.

    http://i.imgur.com/qvmTjCy.jpg?1

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  • Yes, I agree with all that.

    But it also says we were made to be help meets for our husbands and that we are to obey them.

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  • What I find interesting is the indignation some posters are responding with , insisting it's naziesque to suggest a man submit to his wife... The original message is for Wonen to submit to their husbands... And this is not a problem to them.

    It's ine thing if they were just correcting the text. But to correct it on the basis of feminist conspiracy. Well what's the conspiracy then in the original text. Since according to them Submission supposedly denotes conspiracy.

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    • & I literally provided evidence of what the Bible said haha

  • It's similar to how a king rules his nation. He is there to make the beat decisions to benefit the kingdom. I agree with you that men will be the head but will sacrifice to do what is right to serve the marriage while women will respect and also sacrifice. Really, it's a mutual thing.. It takes two to make marriage work.

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  • This is such a beautiful thought! Some people don't realize that true love is being a servant. Thank you for the reminder.

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  • Yea , this ist true. You treat your wife well and you will have a loyal woman. i heard a pastor once say that if your wife isn't having sex with you its because you aren't doing what you need to be doing as a husband.

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  • I still prefer equality sorry and religion scares me, the bible also said rape victims should be forced to marry their rapists. I don't want any part of it.

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  • ya and if men and women don't follow these rules, they'll be zapped by the magic man in the sky

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  • I'm still not drinking the biblical marriage kool aid.

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  • We need less arguing over who is supposed to get served and more about how we can serve.

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  • I'm not religious and I believe in equality, so no.

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  • You need a book to tell you that? Not trying to hate or anything but the golden rule was around way before the bible and is akin to common sense.

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    • Where do you think the golden rule came from?

      "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
      -Matthew 7:12

  • HAHAHAH no. "Love your wife" is clearly not the same as serving her. Stop trying to excuse the Bible, it's all bullshit.

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    • @yourwaifu telling the truth is being a bitch? I'll take it.

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    • @yourwaifu hahaha oh, since when is the bible not a load of crap?

    • Here's a challenge for you:
      Tell me the definition of love. Tell me where loves comes from.
      75% chance you're wrong,
      25% chance you don't even have a clue.

  • wait people still care about the bible and religion?

    it's been 2,000 years guys, time to let go

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    • Actually there are far more people who do believe than the much lower percentage of people who don't... but you must have known that, 'cause you know, science and all.

    • ahh its more like 2300 -2500 years ago

    • and it still rings true today. 2 Timothy 3:1-7: But know this, that in the last days+ critical times hard to deal with will be here. 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, 3 having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, 4 betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 5 having an appearance of godliness but proving false to its power;+ and from these turn away. 6 From among these arise men who slyly work their way into households and captivate weak women loaded down with sins, led by various desires, 7 always learning and yet never able to come to an accurate knowledge of truth. sound familiar?

  • I see what you did there :D

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  • I agree with this post.

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