I have a very possessive and controlling fiance. He is also a very jealous person too. I want to know if he will be less possessive and controlling of me after we get married? I am thinking that maybe after we get married that he will be all like, "well, we are married now and she is mine so therefore I will not lose her." But is that how you guys think? Also I would like some input from girls too on how you think guys think! How could he get worse after we get married? He said that he is afraid to lose me because I am 24 and he is 39. I have never given him any reason for him to not trust me and I keep telling him over and over again that I love him and will never leave him.
Most Helpful Girl
I think it'll probably get worse after you're married because then he'll probably get the impression that you belong to him and he can tell you to do whatever he wants. Guys like that just have issues, they're probably insecure about something (in his case he's probably worried that you'll find a younger, more attractive guy). I had a boyfriend who was really controlling and wanted to know where I was and who I was with all the time and would call a ridiculous amount of times and leave me really nasty messages when I didn't answer my phone because I was busy doing something else so I broke up with him. I don't have time to deal with that and I never gave him any reason not to trust me but as far as he was concerned I was sleeping with every guy I knew.
Guys like that only get worse, not better, and when you give them a reason to think that you belong to them they'll just start treating you more like something they can control. When a guy says you belong to him he should mean it as, "You're mine and I love you and I'm never going to let anything happen to you and I'm going to do everything I can to protect you and take care of you," not, "You're mine so I get to decide where you go, who you can see, what you can wear and I want to know everyone you're talking because I can't trust you with you anyone and you're mine and only mine and no one else can have you."2