I cannot afford to get my girlfriend a fancy engagement ring but I know that she wants one. What should I do?
Most Helpful Girl
Okay, there's some good advice already out here, but I don't agree with the ones who are saying a ring doesn't matter. We have traditions that help give our lives meaning, even if they're pointless in a way. I don't care that diamonds are more expensive than they could be, they're still a special, beautiful stone that lasts forever.
Like many have said, don't go into ridiculous debt to buy a great ring, but you should make some sacrifice for it. They say two months' pay, which is a pretty good guideline. You can always upgrade it later or add a second band. This is something she'll remember the rest of her life and will help tie you together. It's not just the ring itself, it's the gesture. I like the idea of selling something you care about.
And, unromantic as it sounds, a nice ring is also a safety net for her. She can sell it if you dump her down the road. She's not thinking that way, but she's probably heard that and it's probably somewhere in the back of her mind. Think of it as a way of giving her something valuable that she'll always have, no matter what happens. She's probably going to make a lot of compromises and sacrifices to be your wife.
So, do the best you can--unless she's someone who doesn't go in for romantic traditions. I wouldn't say "no" to someone just over the ring, but I'd always be a little disappointed about it. This is one of the grand romantic gestures in our society.1