How long is it normal for a married couple to go without having sex?

Just like the question reads, I am in my mid to later 20s my husband is in his early 40s. I think and want sex on a daily basis but it seems like he doesn't. I've tried all kinds of stuff from going to those slumber parties and bring home stuff to trying to watch stuff on tv...Nothing really works anymore. We work opposite hours both 12 hr shifts so mostly we are seeing each other walk in as the other is walking out the door. I am to the point where I don't even feel like sleeping in bed at night I sleep on the couch because I am tired of being shut down. We have been married for almost 6 years now, so what is normal


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Think you need to try to if possible get your hours sorted in your respective jobs so as you both are off work at the same time otherwise I can only see an end to this marriage so you will have to try to syncronise your hours and then when you can do this then spend some of this time having fun together and bit by bit should definitely improve on your sex life once again. Hope that helps, spontaneoty is the best do not wait for him to do something to arose you if you are horny let him know some way that he will know this and can act on it:) if need be find out what his kinks are that he likes but leave this as the last resort, role playing or trying out new fantasies etc can sometimes make dead relationships etc come back to life:)

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    • Thanks I am trying to get the hours switched. My main concern is how to let him know that I'm not satisfied, without turning into one of those wives who nag. I'm scared of turning into my mother who sits and complains about things all the time. But damn a girl needs what a girl needs.

What Guys Said 2

  • He's in 40s and your in your 20s, the man is getting old, and he's probably stressed from working, but mainly just his age.

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  • Welcome to the site! I hope you are able to get some good answers, but unfortunately, there don't seem to be very many married people here. I can only think of one user off the top of my head.

    You might also try searching Google. I found this right away: link

    Good luck!

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    • Reading that link is actually depressing. Go figure.

    • Down arrow? I was trying to help...

What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately your age difference sounds like it's playing against you on this. Most women get into their peak hormonal/sex drive in late 20s-30s range, and men start to decrease anywhere from mid 40s-50s Between that and your difference in work hours, it's gonna take some extra work to try and make everyone happy.

    I read in a comment below that you're trying to get the work thing changed0- if you can great! Catching him at a time when you both have energy might help your situation a lot- and just having more contact might help re-jump start his bedroom passion as well.

    If you get the hours changed, but the sex life stays the same I do think it's something to talk about. I'd plan how you want to word things ahead of time, but as a married couple I would hope that your communication is open and you're both comfortable talking to each other. He can try getting his testosterone levels checked out, and if it's below average there's different directions the physician can recommend to boost things. It's an embarrassing topic, but staying supportive and working through it will hopefully get you to a place where you're both happy.

    I'm not married, but I hope that if it ever happens losing sex doesn't become the 'norm'.

    Good luck! I hope everything can work out for you two!

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