Just recently Taco Bell Marketing Manager Ben Golden was arrested after assaulting an Uber Driver who had asked him to get out of his car because Golden was falling down drunk and could not give him proper directions. When the driver stopped to allow Golden to get out, Golden snapped and began beating him about the head until the driver managed to pepper spray him which was all caught on the drivers dash cam. Fast forward to Golden, now sober, making an apology claiming he was so drunk that he did not remember beating the driver up, and that "he is not that person," and he's "mild mannered." The driver says had he not had the dash cam, he 100% believes that Golden would in no way be trying to apologize to him and the only reason he is is because he was caught, its on social media, and as a result of the assault, police and lawyers have hit him with 4 misdeameanor counts of battery where he will be facing a year in jail or a $10,000 fine. Golden has also been fired from his job.
I will give Golden points for not getting in car where he would be driving drunk and somehow managing to hire an Uber, but that's where my sympathy for this case ends. To me, "I was drunk" is not an excuse for bad behavior because we all have a choice as to if or how much we are going to drink and we are subsequently responsible for the consquences of those actions. Some people think the consequences lobbed on Golden are too steep, but imagine if you were that driver and some jerk just started beating you up, would you be so quick to shrug it off not knowing how armed, angry or dangerous the guy could be? Also, personally having been a manager at a major company, what my boss told me early on when I was hired is that I was always being watched as a representative of that company whether I was on or off the job and advised me at office company parties and work vacations, never to drink because all it takes is some jealous staff member, or underling reporting you or snapping your picture or video and it being posted for people to feel like either you have a drinking problem or you are a poor representative of the company's brand. It's not fair on your off time at least, but its the reality of it, and in due time, I saw someone taken down by their actions at a party on social media.
Golden did go to the press to apologize, but I'm with the driver on this one, the only reason he's doing it is because he was caught on camera. He can't claim as he has, that "that is not who he is," because it very well is. I went to this really upscale engagement dinner once where the groom to be got plastered and began fighting and yelling at everyone at the party much to the embarressment of both families and was at the verge of being kicked out of the restaurant before his family escorted him out, but then he began fighting everyone else including me and got close to hitting me before his brothers managed to wrestle him down the the ground. Instead of a thank you for coming to the party note for the gifts, I got a long apology letter, but for me the damage had been done. I'm glad the police are sending a message to him and possibly others like him---the "I'm drunk" excuse isn't going to fly because unfortunately everyone around you in situations like this has to deal with the fallout of your actions that don't just disappear when the alcohol does from your system. People die everyday either from their own drunk recklessness or from the actions of someone drunk so its not just a laughing matter or a boys will be boys matter. The driver, who quit his Uber job after that incident, is lucky that it wasn't worse and the passenger better be glad the driver had mace, and not a gun.
Are we all human and do we all make mistakes, yes, but we also must learn from those mistakes and accept the consequences of our actions from the mistakes we've made. Some mistakes are harder if not impossible in the case of death, to recover from, then others, but getting so drunk that you black out or don't remember or you hurt someone is pretty serious and I hope he and others like him, get help and not use drunkeness as an excuse for bad behavior.
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I think drunk people get away with too much. They think they can alleviate responsibility or just blame others because they were drunk. I agree we need to hold drunk people accountable and no exceptions of any kind.
precisely that, because getting drunk is never an accident. A person consciously chooses to drink one, two, three too many and then wants sympathy for whatever their actions are or to be excused "because they were drunk."
But if a gal gets drunk and has sex, she's not responsible and the guy's a rapist.
This is a very callous thing to say as if all women are just out there saying and doing these things. Can we talk about how many actual male rapists have gotten away with their crimes? Coming forward and admitting that you've been raped, in actual cases of rape doesn't reward the women who come forward. Quite the opposite which is why victims tend to not report their rapists. Those women that do come forward are usually drug through the mud, threatened, bullied, harassed, and shamed.. for being raped and the same goes for male victims.
Rapists should suffer the full consequences, but as far as stating events that are documented to happen being callous, that's besides the point. I think it's more callous to ruin somebody's life with false rape accusations (speaking of being drug through the mud, threatened, bullied, harassed, and shamed; if you think those accused of rape are free of that, you are naive). A generic diatribe about rape doesn't discount that. I know false rape accusations related to alcohol happen because it's happened to 2 people I know. Both found innocent but still carrying the stigma projected by people that check their brain at the door and don't question any of it.
But if a guy is drunk and makes a girl have sex with him, he's not responsible and can't be held accountable for rape.
@throwit That is Anonymous' argument.
You clearly misunderstand me. The callousness of your statement is accusing all women of doing this as if we all are just out there accusing innocent men of rape. I mean, what if I told you, all men are just a bunch of rapists? I'm sure you would not appreciate that statement because it clearly isn't true. My statements afterward are also just as true, but the fact is the number of actual rape cases that never get prosecuted, the number of rapists that are this day walking around free far far outweighs the small percentage of women who lie about rape because we live in a world where there is a rape culture, where the victims men and women, of rape are made to feel like they did something wrong or deserved it, ESPECIALLY when alcohol is involved. It's yet another danger of getting drunk, that this may unfortunately happen to you if you are unaware of your surroundings and drinking to access.
No. That's the conclusion that you chose to jump to. I never said any such thing.
I'm going to ignore the "actual rape" statistics and the rest of the commentary. The initial point was about drunk (but conscious, lucid and actively participated in) sex being branded as rape, so often. I'd like to hear your take on that issue, not anything else.
By all means, create your own take on the subject and say as much as you'd like to say on the topic, but the truth is only about 5% of rape cases that are reported turn out to be completely false and yet you want to make it out to be like every drunk woman is out there accusing innocent men. Five percent. So yes, pardon me if I am oh so concerned about the other 95% of real rape cases and the effects on men and women who have to endure what all happens to them. In every situation in which someone is being accused by another, you will ALWAYS have a percentage of people that make false claims because some people are unscrupulous, and that sucks, but so does actual rape by actual rapists and those that continue to get away with it because of this societies rape culture.
I'm pretty certain you just pulled that number out of thin air. Considering the nature of the issue, there is no way to know for sure how many rapes are false. What are the criteria for any percentages? If we go by the application of the law, based on lack of convictions in accusations, I could say that there are that many false rapes, as easily as you could say they are getting away with it.
Again, since you are so keen to argue a point you have clearly not spent a second researching yourself, why don't you do what I did, and look up the statistics and educate yourself. Again, if you would like to write your own uninformed piece on this subject, go fourth and do so. Best of luck to you.
I have looked up the statistics. I have also looked up the reality of the often-repeated claims, such as that 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted in their life. It's totally invented, or based on hyperbole.
And of course, we are only talking about the first world.