People Make The Dead Seem Like Saints

From this Earth, I have departed. I have passed on.
The only things that will remain are memories and tangible objects that were once in my possession.

People Make The Dead Seem Like Saints

When I was living and breathing, no one seemed to care.
They fought me and called me horrible words,
which hurt so much, the impact felt like knives grazing my skin.
The more I would carry on, the deeper those knives would penetrate.
My body would be in motion, although my heart seemed to stand still.
I had been hurt so many times, that I didn't have any love to give.
I tried to search for it from within, but I couldn't dig that deep.
How could I love a world that only showed me cruelty?

The day came when I drew my last breath.
For me it felt like a relief because my emotional pain,
outweighed any discomfort I had ever gone through physically.
I was in a better place now, I could finally be at peace.
As a spirit that carried on, at my funeral I was able to listen
to everything that was being said.
I heard person after person saying such wonderful things about me.
They spoke about me as if I were a saint, beautiful, and angelic.
After my demise, I was painted in a light which would have never been
had I had been alive.
Not one person had any awful thing to say about me.
How could that be? When I was alive, I was torn down, ripped a part,
and made out to be a monster who was unworthy of anything good.
Why must I pass on to finally be spoken about in a positive light?


The issue

I find this very common in many cultures. When someone is alive it's okay to acknowledge their flaws. It's okay to say you have a bad relationship with them, and that you never liked them in the first place.
When that same person passes on, no one wants to admit their true feelings towards that individual.
Sure, they will speak what they truly feel behind closed doors when they are by themselves.
But when they are in the company of others, they angelize the person who passed on even if this person was someone they didn't see any good in.
I can't tell you how many times, I've personally witnessed someone scrutinized when alive. When they pass on, the very same people who spoke bad about them, are the same ones that cry out with sadness in their eyes.
"Tom was such a great person. He was so giving, loving and caring." David says.
Deep down inside, David knows he never felt this way about Tom. He is just saying what is socially acceptable. If he reacts any differently to Tom's death than anyone else he will be looked at as cruel, cold and a person that lacks empathy.

I like to be honest with myself. If I didn't like someone when they were living, I will still feel the same way about them when they pass on. If I didn't like the person's existence or they treated me in a manner that I felt was wrong, who is society to tell me I have no right to my own feelings?
Oh, I get it Tom is dead so we must angelize him.
We must paint him as a man that never did any wrong.

I feel it is important to be honest with others and with yourself.
No one is saying go around using profanities about what this person did when they were alive. There's a way to express your feelings without coming off as disrespectful to others or offensive.
If you feel negatively about an individual who has passed on, you have every right to feel that way.
I get that your friends may have loved Tom, and in their eyes he may have very well been a great person.
But what they are not taking into account is that, his relationship was different with them than it was with you. So, how could they wrong you for feelings that are true according to your outlook?
I've also seen people operate this way when it comes to someone they don't know on a personal basis (such as celebrities). You hated all of this person's music and films when they were alive but as soon as you heard about their passing, you're now listening to all their songs and watching all of their movies. You're spreading nothing but love about how fantastic this human-being was when they were alive.
Who are we really trying to pretend for when "we" do this?
I can see right through those antics.
It's okay to love the dead as well as never to have loved them at all.

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What Guys Said 4

  • When someone dies, they are canonized, anointed, and elevated to sainthood. It is partially cultural custom, tradition, and social pressure. It is also a way to make ourselves feel good about all the slights, insults, arrows, and darts that we threw at the person when they were living. It is a way of atoning for our sins. For others. i think it is a pretentious, public display of piety, similar to those about whom the New Testament warns us, the hypocrites who pray while standing on the streets so that they may be seen.

    Whatever the motivation may be, it is hypocrisy, and that is always distasteful.

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  • Let me tell you, dying is a lot harder on the living than it is on the dead. Death really only hurts those left behind. Good Take.

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  • it's called being polite.

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  • Great take - My attitude to person is not going to change just because they are dead - If I liked/loved you in life, I will keep doing it in death - If I didn't in life, I am not going to start pretending in death because it is what people "do".

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