Did I over react when my girlfriend crashed my car? Do you think I really hurt her feelings? Please read and also can I get advice with this?

[Anonymous]

So my gf in all honesty is not the best driver out there. She got in 2 accidents before (her cars). She likes to drive my car since i taught her manual. by the way i also use it for racing (i do amateur racing). My car is 03' Corvette Z06, custom built by my team (bascially friends in engineering lol). My gf used it and was begging me to drive it for a long time so i gave it to her today... she came back with a smashed up front end.

She came in crying and said 'i'am so sorry, please forgive me". I saw what happend and got real mad cause this week was practice laps. I got very mad and called her the worst driver ever and a stupid blonde (she is actualy smarter than me i must admit). So she kept saying sorry and was hugging me... then she said "you didn't even ask if i was ok, does you car mean more to you than me?" She was quite sad but did not answer her and told her to leave. She didn't bring her car so i said "just walk home". Then she was balling her eyes out and said "please don't break up with me, i love you so much".

After calming down a bit (she didn't walk she came inside my house). I realized i was an asshole for not asking her if she was ok and also telling her to walk. I said i was very sorry and i being childish for an materilistic object. I told her i loved her and i won't her... but i also "i want to talk later about this". She hugged me and said ok.

Do you think my words were way to extreme? i do relize my actions were not right. What can i do to make her feel better and also what can i do make sure she won't be scared to drive again... and for the guys who comment, yes i realize giving a vette to a girl was stupid but i though i trusted her.

[HyperOrphic]

I'm so glad you saw your errors, because otherwise, man, you'd be fucked. Since you made amends, you have a pass... just barely.

It was way too extreme. You essentially said to her: You and your safety isn't as important as my car and you're an idiot who I am so repulsed by you that I won't even give you comfort or affection in your time of turmoil because fuck you, I want you to get out of my face and potentially walk yourself home with injuries that could have otherwise caused you serious but unseen harm.

So yeah... kind of the WORST possible reaction. Mind you, she isn't innocent, she should have been more careful or not requested to drive the car when she KNEW she didn't have a good track record, that was irresponsible on her part.

I don't agree with the giving a vette to a girl part though, I happen to be an excellent driver.

[Asker]

Sorry i didn't mean to offend you or girls in general, my bad for that. If you know how to drive manual then i'm sure you could drive it.

Now i truly understand what i did and how i made her feel :( Fuck i feel so bad now because like i didn't even ask "do you need medical attention?" Yeah i messed up :( And like in all honesty i wanted to talk to her again to see if she would pay for at least half of the damage. But i don't want to bring it up right away.

What should i do in term so apologizing when we talk tomorrow. Should i buy her flowers, chocolate and bring her to a nice restaurant? Or you think she won't like it cause she will be sad?

[HyperOrphic]

She doesn't need flowers or candy, she needs acknowledgement. You just need to sit her down and tell her straight up: what I did to you was completely unacceptable and I disregarded you when I should have been more concerned for your life. You are more important to me than anything, I was just so caught up in the rush of emotion that I selfishly neglected you. I'm sorry.

Also it's okay on the comment bruh.

As for getting her to pay half, it's fair, but bring that up after you two have made amends... a day or two after should be appropriate.

[Asker]

I will say those words. she is my first gf and i'm with her for a year now and she does truly mean the world to me. She makes me so happy. I will say those things and more to her.

I might give it 4 or 5 days cause like she is a very emotional person (forgot to mention it, sorry) and she holds thing to herself a lot. Her dad always brings her down so i will have to say many things to make her feel better and i will still treat her to dinner 3 days from tomorrow. She is a very caring person and has a huge heart but at the same time she gets hurt easily. I will apologize and do many things to show my sympathy and how wrong i was for being an asshole.

[HyperOrphic]

You're better than most for that, I also understand on the holding things against herself thing. I was like that (and still am) like that too. When you do bring it up, let her know that it isn't out of spite, but that you need the help to get the car fixed, and seeing as she was the one who damaged it (indirectly or not) it is still her responsibility to help you - though the first part will likely be enough to convince her.

[Asker]

I will make her feel safe, tell her not to feel that bad and put that much pressure on herself and i will so the very best to put a smile back on her face and hope back in her heart so she won;t be scared.

[Empowered]

Your anger was definitely justified, I think the "just walk home" part was extreme. I think in a situation where you are pissed at your girl, just tell her that you need some space. Most girls can appreciate this, and it gives you a chance to cool off. Don't overdo it in the apologising because it will just reinforce in your girlfriend's mind that your actions were extreme. Just tell her you forgive her, make sure you ask again about her condition since you effed up by not asking before, and offer to help her improve her driving?

[meatballs21]

Man, that's the worst thing you've done since the last time she messed one of your rides up.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1394239-me-my-girlfriend-got-into-an-argument-about-my-car-can-anyone-help

[Asker]

what that's not me. I don't have a camaro.

[Rloco]

You did realize what you did was wrong And apologized immediately. I'd just say be careful and think before reacting. It was a big deal and I'm she understands why you lost your temper.

[Asker]

I will talk with her tomorrow too. It's just a lot of time and money was built into this car you know. But i will talk tomorrow with her

[Rloco]

I understand and you had every right to be upset but the way you expressed it was wrong. That's all.

[Asker]

yes i argree. i was an asshole in what i done. I will highly apologize to her even more.

[Anonymous]

If I was her I would not have apologized... You would have had to beg me to stay with you for loaning me such a piece of shit to make me crash. She's dumb if she stays with you.

[Asker]

with all due respect THIS corvette is custom built and is not a piece of shit car first of all. Second i apologized to my gf and will continue to do so tomorrow. I love her way too much and i don't want see her leave as she didn't want to as you read in my description.

[Opinion Owner]

No excuse for loaning her a reckless car.. she could have been killed... You are at fault. Don't try to sell me on your custom built "crashmobile"...

[Asker]

with all due respect, you don't know about racing. This car is probaly more safer than your car because of the reinforced roll cage and chasis. It has 3 seat belts so i promise you, even if you crashed you would somewhat ok going 160 kph or higher.

I'am not selling you on anything but if you don't know about the car how can you know if it's safe or not? She knew how to drive it but I don't know what went wrong, i was wrong in giving her the car but i though she could of drove it safely

[Opinion Owner]

K ...

[Asker]

I don't know why you're mad or giving me this attitude. I admit i was a huge asshole when i yelled. Do you have something against corvettes or racing?

[Opinion Owner]

Stop apologizing to me... I'm not the one who was almost killed.. that was your girl... ?

[Opinion Owner]

Bravo... douche bag

[Asker]

I never apologized to you... i'm saying what I was... not saying it you smart one. She wasn't hurt by the way, no limp no nothing. If you don't know about a racinh chasis-roll cage, etc... and safety then look it up first before you speak.

Have a nice night anon.

[RealSVY]

Classic feminist. Don't take responsibility for your actions, just push it on someone else. If the girl was asking to drive the car, she is responsible for what happened, not the dude. He trusedt her to have good judgment and be responsible. The funny thing is that if he refused to let her drive, you would probably say something like "omg you are such a sexist, you don't think woman can drive, you don't think the can be responsible, you are such a sexist". She is an adult to, and she is the one that crashed the car. She is responsible, it is not his job to boss her around and tell her what she can and can't do.