What stops white guys from dating black girls?

I am a black female who is attracted to all races of men. I find it very interesting, though, that white men are most reluctant to date black girls. In fact, men in general are becoming more and more hesitant to court us. Why is that? Lack of attraction? Fear? Social stigmas?


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Updates:
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    A lot of white guys assume black girls want black guys and black guys only which isn't necessarily true. I'm black and I've always been more attracted to white guys, my friends are absolutely amazed on the rare occasion when I see a black guy and go, "Oh he's cute." But I've always been more attracted to white guys, couldn't tell you why. In pre-school I used to run around with some little blonde hair blue eyed boy and we'd tell people we were going to get married.


    Some white guys also assume that most black girls will act "ghetto" which isn't at all true. Then there's also the fear of random black guys getting mad for white guys dating "their women." The fear of meeting a black girls family can be in there too. With interracial relationships there's always the fear of people saying something but really your relationship is really none of their business.


    But it's not just the guys who'll wind up with rude comments it's the girls too. When I tell people I'm more attracted to white guys than black guys I've heard everything from, "What, you think you're too good to date a black guy," to being told that I'm a traitor to my race which is absolutely ridiculous. Some people ask me if it's just "ghetto" black guys that I don't like and are amazed when I tell them no. I know plenty of well educated black men and I just don't find them attractive, I'm just way more attracted to white guys than I am black guys, it's as simple as that

    • I really understand what you are saying. I have dated interracially and I too prefer black women. I however, haven't found women to be acting "too ghetto" though. I've found more political differences than I have cultural. I too have found a little animosity from black men because I've dated a black woman. But, it wasn't overbearing. That could be related to the area of the country, I'm not sure. Nevertheless, where I'm from, I think there is more animosity from white women.

    • The black guys getting defensive is definitely real. I dated a black girl in college, and I was stunned how many black guys would try to take her from me whenever we were out in public. these guys came out of the woodwork. It really seemed to bother them to see a black girl with a white guy.


      Of course it was probably only a minority of the black guys, I would never claim all black guys acted that way. But there was a noticeable pattern.

    • I am half Asian and half white and I dated white and black girls and black girls don't seem to be so, pseudo social conscious like white girls. B girls just seem to be more down to earth not to mention great (the best) in bed and if you can satisfy an african american girl then you're doing something right. If you want to see some of the most beautful women in the world go to Norfolk State U. An African American college with educated most beautiful girls on the planet which are black.

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  • Black girls rule!

  • Society and fear

  • I go to a community college and I notice this a lot too...

    I think its just a social stigma. White men think that they have to act like the black men that they see on TV if they are going to date a black woman.

    I am a white female and I am dating a dominican/black mixed male. I never saw the color of his skin as being a problem, and I knew that my family would respect whoever I choose. I think that most white household families are not okay with the whole situation, so the men feel pressured not to bring a black woman home.

  • Probably lack of attraction... :/

  • LOL... Did any of you know that Ann Coulter was dating Jimmie "Jay Jay" Walker?


    All sorts of people get together for all sorts of reasons, evidently...


    I really wish that race was not an issue . As it stands, I am fed-up with the world's BS.

  • The same thing that stops any guy...fear of rejection.

  • I've never net a white dude that sisnt want a black chick..lol. My boyfriend is white and I've been with him for a year <33

  • what is up with all these desperate ass black girls on the internet pining away for white guys? stop it! I'm a black girl and your making us look bad. not all of us are white boy crazy and desperate ready for a caucasian savior to come take us away...you should have more pride in yourself because it sounds like you are desperate for a white guy... comments like the ones you have gotten makes me glad I don't like white boys. a lot of them are just not interested in black girls and most of us are not feeling them either this is america honey most people still believe in the stereotypes and apply them to all of us. why would you want to date someone like this? we are at the bottom of the social totem pole in many ppls eyes. you have people saying that we're big, aggressive and mean and loud lol its crazy. I've met girls like that of all races but we're the only ones that get generalized. most of these people probably only know like 5 black people personally so how can they generalize? just date a black man, or at least a hispanic or mixed guy

    • totally agree with u

    • ANOTHER SELLOUT! you think you're a white girl and think you're better than black people because you gotta white boyfriend. I wonder if that white guy will introduce you to his parents or marry you one day? yeah I doubt it sista. there are decent black guys out there but a sellout would rather date white trash than find a good black man..if you wanna date outside your race - fine, but do you realize how much of a uncle tom you look dissing your own ppl? I bet your white boyfriend doesn't diss white girls

    • Don't get mad when your 'perfect, loving' black guy starts beating you, I'm sure it's coming. Anyway, you have to understand that there aren't a lot of decent black guys. Maybe you live in a good area. Idk. But, seriously, get your head out of your ass. Not all slaves were treated like sh*t. >>; I'm proud to date a 'white' guy, and my family supports me. Now, the UGLY ghetto people at my school don't, but the decent people do. Not all whites are ignorant, either. Calm down. Love and Pickles, STM~

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  • i have a black friend who also questions this. she said she really likes this one white guy. in a group chat, he said that he would date any race or creed but when it came to her asking him out he said, I'm not into u. the next day I asked him why didn't you say yes? he said because she is black and she is too big I'm afraid of her. I figured its cus she's a tall strong girl(she played on a male football team in high school) a lot of white guys are afraid of big girls. guys want to protect someone then someone protecting them. as hard as it is to say this but if my friend was a lot smaller girl this guy would have went for her, I have noticed that a lot of black girls are tall or heavier then a white, Hispanic or any other race. I don't kno how much you way for your body type but a lot of guys like to hold someone and not be held

  • half these things the guys are saying are not true, I'm a black women and I'm very attrated to white guys but I'm not rude,loud,ignorent or any of that stuff it actually takes me a while to truly get close to a guy any race of guy,but I also lived in australia for most of my life but before any of you stereotype its a good country(and I'm not aboriginal..lol)and not a lot of white guys approach me .i realllly don't like the way some black guys are just so upfront with their comments it does kind of suprize me but seriously guys approach a black women sometimes you might be suprised by her response :)

  • My experience is they feel as though black females wouldn't give them the time of day so they don't bother.

  • My boyfriend is German and I'm Jamaican.. Nothing stopped him from chasin this tail hunnay ;)

    • What you said . my bofriendd is white and I'm black and that didn't stop him from chasing what he wanted .

  • well from what I found out from other white guys on here is that they don't kno how to approach black girls, because they dnt kno how we're gonna react - whether we'll insult them, be shockd or if we'll act completely normal. I was askin myself the same question cause I'm into white guys but never been approached by 1 - now I kno why =) dnt kno if thas helpd

  • I don't know really.

  • Well you like them. It is okay.

  • I'm not a white GUY, but as a white GIRL I can tell you that most black women seem... not to sound racist, but rather stand-offish. I'm very intimidated by them because they don't appear to ME to be as receptive or as welcoming as my "usual crowd". I have plenty of black friends, however, our friendships were only started because THEY approached ME. I realize this is really backward thinking and I'm probably just acting insecure, but black women look like can kick my butt with a remarkable amount of ease. Then again, I avoid the overly-confident "cheerleader" type white girls as well.

    • lol your answer reminds me of the movie Mean Girls. Remember that clique, the "Unfriendly Black Hotties"?

  • In general from experience black girls, have a lot of attitude and white guys hate that, they come off too rude. Plus it does'nt help that they generally don't give white guys a second look so they become intimidating to approach if you get my drift? So stereotypically white guys kind of just back off, Please take no offence to what I'm saying just stateing my view. But physically black girls are attractive. Hope it helps answer your question

  • I think fear and social stigmas is at the top of the list. It is much more excepted if your families and friends are OK with your dating choices. The city you live in also has a big play in it. I live in Seattle and international dating is common here. I have been dating black men for 20 years and hence my son (34) loves black women and has even been in a long term relationship with a girl that I love and feel is a very good person. So don't blame the men you just haven't found the right one.

    Good Luck!

    Trudy

    www.DumbDates.com

  • some guys are jerks

  • Out of all honesty, I'm not trying to be offensive or anything and I'm not saying this is true in every case But my dad is white and 52 years old and he grew up around a lot of racial crap. And he wouldn't not allow me to date a black guy but he more than likely would not approve of it and also I would never hear the end of it. I think a lot of it is stereotypical stuff and I personally would want to go out with a few cute black guys but I don't think my family or friends would ever approve of it and I don't want to dissapoint them. Even though blacks and whites all equal now there is still A lot of racism, and there always will be.

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  • I think maybe in the beginning there is a little social stigma fear. However, times have changed or should I say the pendulum has swung. What I have experienced is, that it's not about love anymore, but what can he do for me, can he afford my tastes, is he going to conform, is he hangin 10? I know for myself, my concerns are similar in that, is she going to accept our differences and respect me as well? Or is it all going to be about me giving in 100% to her, is she going to hold my heart in her hand and protect it the same as I will? I know I feel that it is difficult for me to approach a black woman for fear of rejection because I may not be hip and into Jay z and BeyoncĂ©. I don't thing the racial make up matters so much in these concerns and relationships anymore as much as mutual respect and mutual love. I know when I fall in love, I take the vows of commitment to heart and honor those with all I have. We just want the same in return...and you'll have us wrapped around your finger forever!

  • first,the fake hair turns a lot of guys off..they like girls with long real hair and not frizzy/also MOST white guys date within their own race ...that's what most of them were raised around mostly and are comfortable with.they don't date for the sake of being diverse,they date who they're most comfortable with...they don't decide "hey,i'm going to date somebody that's outside my own race,because it;s being diverse..they date based on appearance and who they're going to be comfortable with dating/if they've never dated outside they're own race ,they're not likely to decide to start dating for the sake of being diverse//that's kind of absurd really./ I've been told that I'm too narrow minded and that dating only within my race is discrimination..of course it is..if I prefer coffee over tea,i'm being discrminitory /dating only whites like myself is being disriminatory in the way of being preferential ..but not racist..Most white males,like most blacks,asians etc,date within their own race..that's a fact/ I remind people that say it's racism or discrimination in a racist manner to look up the words "preference","racism" and "discrimination" as they obviously don't understand the differences/many people don't date chubby or fat girls..this is preference again.. recent studies show that most people date and eventually marry within their own race//the most ridiculous thing I ever heard is that nobody should base the decision to date someone based on their appearance or looks(fat,skinny,tall,short,skin color,etc)..that's claiming nobody has the right to have preference.and that's just plain idiotic./most people don't date for the sake of being diverse..period./most people have preferences of some sort/regardless of what the media potrays(tv shows,movies and celebrity realtionships).most people date solely insidetheir own race(don't base hollywood celebrities' interracial relationships as being the typical..) most white men date within their own race,because they're white..it' s what they were raised around or with mostlymost people date within their own race/it's just that simple/no big mystery

  • Different guys have different ideas of what they find attractive in a woman. I knew a white guy who would only date Black women, which kind of made it funny because I only dated Asian or Hispanic women and generally when guys, especially White guys would see us walk in a restaurant or club on a double date, they would automatically assume that his date (the Black woman) would be my date and my date (the Asian woman) would be his date. You should see the amount of white guys who would drop their jaws in disbelief one New Years Eve party we attended. Furthermore, it seems that they were not happy about the situation and would have preferred it to be that I was with his date and not with mine.

  • I like black girls but It is rare to see one who dresses like a skater chick or alternative rock clothes. I don't like any girls that dress like they ghetto! I'm not that into hip hop altough I like some of it. I don't like people that can't sit still long enough to have a thought! I like black people that are into different cultures but to be honest, I don't like black culture at all! Good news you don't have to have any culture you don't want. And if you like rock music or wanna hang out with skater guys then that is black culture since you are black and it's your culture so that would be cool black culture. White peopl for the most part are not so concerned with being cool. I dated this girl who used to date black guys and she acted like everything in the world was a competition. I don't want to have to compete I just wanna chill an do my thing.

  • Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, I don't know, but I know where it isn't, on a black girl. Maybe it is because I am a white guy, but black girls are the least attractive of all races to me. Sorry, but that is just my taste.

  • nOOO girl the single reason is that he is afraid that you black male friends beat him up! no effence :D

  • I know this is an old post, but I just have to respond.


    Black girls generally don't take well to compliments about their curvatures. Say something about their big beautiful butt and they'll slap you.


    Too hostile, too aggressive, by nature it seems. Not a whole lot of ladylike civility in a woman who responds to a compliment in such a way.

    • Nothing wrong with staring. You don't like it, then learn to ignore it. That's the CIVIL thing to do. Saying, "Ya better get off ma face else someding' bad gonna happen to you!" is completely unladylike when told "You have a nice ass." I told her to go eff herself after that and she just scoffed. Now your response to me is proof how some women are just too stuck up and overly conceited. Try relaxing into the world for a change, stop acting like such b$tches.

    • ..

      So, a 'civil' lady is supposed to drop a napkin and adore you for staring at her big ass?

      It also depends on HOW you said it. I.E, "Love that fat ass or yours, sexy." Is not, shall not, and never be the same as, "Cute butt!" or, "Hello. How are you?" >>;

  • Predator

  • Lots of white guys just lack the confidence to approach. That goes for girls of any color.

  • Lots of white guys love black women. I think Black women are very hot and super sexy. Some white guys do like black girls but may be hesitant of rejection. Other white guys have other silly reasons for hesitation but if you just talk to them, A white guy will melt in your arms. I don't think it has to do with lack of attraction or any sorta stigmas but fear of rejection may be on the list.

  • lack of attraction

    • you are a loser defintly

  • Couple thoughts:

    media white men see is mostly a certain type of white woman. So not just black, but size, and such.

    Intimidation - women tend to be more free thinking, and have less peer pressure. Also may get more support form friends when they date a litle different than they have in past. I think the culture may be intimidating as well.

    Things tend to go in runs. Like older guys with younger women, but not younger guys with older women. That seems to have changed quite a bit. I assume you will see that change as well. Awful lot of beautiful black women I have caught myself checking out when Girlfriend not looking. :)



  • This is sad but true. I come from a culture where men are generally brown (not very dark like South Indians, but brown). Even in our culture, the first criteria to consider a girl attractive is her being fair. So I think part of the answer is that somehow, color of skin is associated with being pretty.


    But with respect to "black" females, there are probably some other factors that go against them.

  • black woman are the best..

  • I like some black girls. But I prefer White or Hispanic.

  • i love black girls! they are fine as hell and if you live in tampa fl hit me up at davidnowak88@excite.com

  • I forget which comedian said it, but they said "Black girls just don't think white guys are attractive." Maybe that's why? I don't know. I think there are some amazingly beautiful black girls! Just hasn't happened I suppose.

    • Cris rock said it and its true for a lot of my friends but not for me

    • Well that comedian was completely wrong

  • I'm mixed first of all


    I find it laughable that you are so clueless as to why men in general don't want black women...


    Look at this: link


    The plain, honest truth is that Black Women are not desirable. They have not made them selves desirable and will not listen to anyone that dare suggest they change their ways. Weight is probably the #1 issue. If they weren't all fat, then maybe a few more guys might put up with them.


    Also, they act like men, for the most part. They want to act tough like a man. They flaunt themselves too much; have an inflated sense of confidence. Too much attitude. Too much drama.


    This is coming from a guy that grew up around them. I've been to 4 different schools and have experienced the same thing with them over and over...same loud, obnoxious tones of voice. Same drama, same attitude, which doesn't bode well especially for girls who don't look that great to begin with. And they don't have natural hair many times, have to wear weave, which isn't a good thing...I want a girl with natural hair. Most guys do


    Then after high school I worked with an all-black female staff at a Starbucks...same crap. Same stuff that they do in school, etc. Same big bellies, same attitudes to go with it


    Am I saying all? I'm not saying the majority, but the overwhelming majority. Take any 10 random black girls, 9 out of 10 will be fat and have some kind of chip on their shoulder. I wish they all could be Ashanti or more like Rashida Jones, I really do. But their ego's are too big for that.


    • jessikaelise I have to agree with you fully this here is some f***n uncle tom for sure...u mixd have problms

    • I am Interracial, Black and cherokee (well, my dad is half, so it counts... LOL) I agree with you 10,000,000%! I live in the detroit area and when I actually lived IN Detroit, I was herrassed because I don't screw and smoke marijuana! In fact, most of the women in that area had 4 kids, playing at least 2 guys and was high half the time! UNATTRACTIVE! I don't even date black women... I prefer asian or hispanic...

    • I totally agree with you. I'm mixed too and find most black girls embarrassing. I once worked with all black women at a Beauty shop and it was the worst group of loud, obnoxious, fat, lazy (I could go on) people I have ever been around. Sometimes I hate saying I'm half black. Luckily most people can't tell and just think I"m Latina!

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  • I am just not interested in black girls that much...i do not find them that attractive to me. Not that they are not pretty I am just not attracted.

  • Easy peasy, it has to do with where a person was born and the culture influence. For example, if persons were born in a black enviroment like in Africa, they will like black. However, some exceptions happen and media play a major role.

    • That could be it, but what's strange is that that's changing here in africa, I'm a south african black girl ( live in jhb) and because we are so mixed in schools and social situations, I see no problem in dating a white man. the differences in culture are what make for an interesting change....

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