What advice regarding women do you have for short men?

[TomGarand]

While short women get men no problem, dating and getting in relationships is a struggle for short men. Reason why is simple.

Men like short girls because they're easy to throw around and they need a strong guy to protect them. Short men seem small and weak, so it seems like they can't protect their girl, even if they can.

But it's not impossible for a short men to get a girlfriend, get married, and have a family.

I know because I'm a short man. My BFF has a sister who's taller and stronger than me, who I've mentioned numerous times on this site. I call her "Wolf" because not only is she bigger than me, but also because she calls me "Puppy". We're attracted to each other. Me being short didn't stop me from attracting a woman. I'm only 5'6/167 cm, and THAT. DIDN'T. STOP. ME.

Obviously not me, but I am a short black man.

And I got another example. I was at Target about two months ago looking for any anime merchandise, when I met this white man. He was scrawnier than me, and he was SHORTER than me. This white guy had to be 5'4, or two inches shorter than I am! And also, he had no facial hair, so I probably could have mistaken him for a high schooler.

One thing I noticed was that he had a baby girl sitting in his cart. So I asked him if that was his baby sister. And he said, "No, that's my daughter. Watching her for my wife."

Let me repeat that. This SHORT, SCRAWNY-ASS, BABYFACED MAN has a wife, and a daughter. And he's even smaller and weaker than me. This man made me look like Sam L. Jackson by comparison, and he still managed to find a woman who loves him enough to marry him and have his baby. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE, Napoleon?

Let's be honest. It's gonna be harder for a short man to get a girlfriend or wife. Maybe even a LOT harder. But it's not outright impossible.

So I wanna ask: What advice on dating/relationships/attracting women do you have for short men?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Simply put, be confident but don't overcompensate.
Be interesting, have interesting conversation topic and qualities that might intrigue her, show her that you have your own world and that she'll want to be part of it. Constatly come up with new topics, initiatives and activities, and she'll be guessing what you are doing next. Be original, and willing to share. Smile and don't be shy, talk with everyone and adapt to situations.

I almost pretend that I'm not short, I just do my thing and this attracts people, not necessarily in a romantic way. I show up in public, on work field trips, do political and social activities. My weird habit of putting up my portraits everywhere for examples, made so that a woman keeps asking me when I'll release new ones and wanted it signed (let's hope I haven't gotten a stalker...), likewise I let people take photos or videos of me at public events, and despite Covid, I'm willing to hug and shake hands, while keeping the mask on of course.

[TomGarand]

Well, in terms of interesting qualities, I've gotten into anime, and want to see Japan one day, although this started with me being introduced to the Yu-Gi-Oh! trading card game. Yu-Gi-Oh! is actually from Japan.

Also, how short are you? I think the reason Wolf likes me is because I'm a Sub, which naturally means I complement her dominance and desire to lead. The fact that I'm also shorter and weaker than her makes her feel like more alpha.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

That's really good!
I'm 162cm tall. It's good that you fit well with her! As for myself, although I'm always open on compromise, on the things that matter to me I prefer to have the last word.

[TomGarand]

Well, what attracted your girlfriend to you? And I assume you're still the bigger one of the two.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

To be honest we always knew each other, from high school. She was my tutor. We have been friends for years, then split paths for a couple of years. When I broke up with an ex girlfriend, she popped up again and we started getting close again. She was very interested in my article writing and we clicked on with the old stuff and other new projects. We got together and last June we got married.
She said she liked me even in school because I spent time with her and because of the things I wrote - poems and short stories, which she would make drawings of - but because of our age difference - she was fourth year when I was first - she refrained from anything.

[TomGarand]

Nice. Also, since your wife used to be similar to Wolf, you might like this much older question I made, based on my situation with her.

Guys, what would you do if you were in my (sort of) romantic situation? ↗

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Okay, I'll check it out!
Though to be honest on some thing she did remain the one in charge.

[TomGarand]

What was that thing?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

The way we keep our apartment and overall decoration, administering me the anticoagulants and other medicinse, pick the clothes I'll be wearing for the day - in case I don't like what she picked I just leave it here and pick something else, but generally I like it because my wardrobe is made of identical stuff - most activities that don't concern my job or politics - ie which restaurant to go, what to eat, where to go for a walk, how to spend the weekend, intimacy and what to watch on TV, mostly because for the last things I'm mostly indifferent.

[EmbraceThePain]

Same thing as I do for any other man.
Approach who you’re attracted to, know what you like, and be realistic. You can potentially be with many women if that’s your fancy, as long as you approach more and more women. I think it is a numbers game after all.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, wrong on most points, but I'm also so short most people are taller than me so it's moot.

The only people who make a big deal about height are those who don't recognize the value of the actual person.

Height doesn't matter. Soul and heart do.

My best partner is close to my height.

[Sue_Free]

Accept it, because you can't change that height, and don't let it stop you from approaching someone who is taller than you.

[TomGarand]

That's what I'M doing. Good luck finding a man who you can lead.

[Sue_Free]

He doesn't have to lead. He has to be attracted to me, I would be happy enough with that

[TomGarand]

I said who YOU can lead.

[Sue_Free]

O! You did! Doing four things at a time proves to be too much for me right now 😂 I'm still gonna try

[Khaliff]

My #1 advice for short men is to STOP listening to the advice or negative opinions of other men, rather they are TALL or SHORT! There is only ONE type of man whose opinions you be listening to. That would the SHORT men who are wildly successful with women. The SHORT men who do significantly better than the majority of TALL me ever have or ever will. (There are quite a few short men in this category by the way.)

Lots of people are clueless but they still want to give advice or share their opinions. Make the acquaintance of the short men who you see with women, especially hot women and talk to THEM!

As a short man who has been happily married for over 16 years, to a very beautiful woman more than 22 years younger than me I have actually more experience with women than most men regardless of their height. All of my 18 ex-girlfriends ranged from cute to pretty to beautiful.

It a workplace environment consisting of a little over 100 man it was known that I was significantly more effective and successful at hooking up with the various women that would come to the workplace as temporary workers. What was said by my peers was “He always gets the PRETTY ones!” And A number of my tall coworkers even came to me privately and said, “Tell me, what’s your secret? How do you do it?”

Well, I will share my secret. Because I’ve thought about it. STATUS is very powerful thing and women are very much attracted to it. No matter what social situation you find yourself in you will be seeing is far more attractive to women if you are one of the people that is considered of higher status. Anytime you have power status authority or any type of dominance over other people, especially over other men this is seen as attractive to women. If you also have status over the women that you’re interested in this is even more powerful.

But the most powerful thing of all it’s been a person who is a good communicator and knows how to talk to women and also how to befriend them. Women love talking to men who know how to communicate and are good communicators. Women love being in the presence of men who know how to show friendship towards them.

When all the other men are obviously trying to hook up with women dates them or have sex with them, this empowers women and it lowers the value in the status of the men pursuing them. But in that same environment the man with higher status who obviously likes them, treats them well and who they enjoy communicating with will often be seen as far more attractive than all the guys were trying to get with them.

Sometimes with women, the harder you try the less attractive you will be and the less you try to pursue them the more attractive you will be. I honestly think that for me, being short has been an advantage. A huge advantage if I’m going to be honest about it. I am a very good communicator and I really know how to talk to women in a way that compels them to want to repeat it and talk to me as often as possible. I know how to make them smile, and most importantly I know how to make them laugh. I know how to get them addicted, literally addicted to just being in my presence and communicating with me.

I do it from a position of power and strength. If I flirt with them it’s obvious that I’m doing it for my own amusement and entertainment and I am not invested or even care too much about how they may respond. Why? Because I have options. Far more options than most men do. I convey that message without having to say it.

For whatever the reason I am seen by both men and women as a short but powerful man. And no I’m not one of the short guys who pokes out his chess and exudes a Napoleon complex or acts like he’s always mad at the world to try to look tough. None of this is an act for me.

Let me explain it like this. If you are the type of man, especially a short man and you’re used to multiple people, both men and women, asking you if you have military experience or if you are a black belt or expert in some martial art just because of how you carry yourself with a natural and calm confidence did you get what I’m talking about.

And if you are not that person just know that if you could become that person you will exude something that women find very attractive. And I think some women think it’s even more attractive in a short man than it is in a tall man when they have those qualities and it’s not an act.

Add to that a personality that is outgoing and friendly and a guy who has real skill at communicating rather doing public speaking, private consultation or just talking on the phone and you will have the attributes of a man who can attract and actually get women effortlessly.

One attribute I’ve noticed as a short man is that it is much much much easier, significantly easier for me to track young women, and I mean MUCH younger women than it is for most taller men. In my 40s I had no problem whatsoever attracting and dating women as young as 19, 20 and 21. In fact, it was much easier in my 40s than it ever was when I was in my 20s. But I could also attract and get women who were in their 40s or even older than me. But believe me if I hooked up with ANY woman, especially if she was older she was going to be hot or very hot. And not just in my opinion but in anybody’s opinion.

Finally, The fact that although I am sort I would frequently get comments, from both women as well as men on my physique and people would ask me if I worked out a lot or was a bodybuilder. That is a good thing. So a powerful frame and physique coupled with the quiet confidence that one might expect in a navy seal or a black belt while having a very polite cordial respectful and articulate speech add it to the image that women just find attractive.

The confidence and assertiveness along with a strong physical frame neutralizes the idea that women or the preconceived notion that women might have that a short man cannot protect him or cannot protect himself. One of the problems with short man is that when women just think about a short man I think about a man who is also frail and unimposing if not scrawny and weak and most importantly will probably have a defensive and less than masculine overcompensating personality.

WHY do many women prejudge short man like this before they get to know them? Well, it is for a good reason. It is because that is exactly and precisely how many short men are. Yes it is prejudiced but this is the reality. But if you are a short man you should realize that actually can work in your favor.

How can this work in your favor? Because when women say that you are a man who has status and it’s looked up to a respected by your peers and you also are a great communicator and speaks with far greater confidence than most men do and all those short stature you have a strong and masculine frame that goes well with your strong and masculine personality women who do that or nearly expect that in a short man will find you to be more of an anomaly than the norm and therefore sometimes they will see you as even more attractive than the tall men that they might expect these masculine attributes in. This is especially powerful when women see it although they may expect these attributes in a tall man, the majority of tall men absolutely do NOT possess or exude these same qualities.

I never gave any of this much thought until after I was married and decided that I would start coaching other men. But in a room full of men or in a group of men women will quickly determine subconsciously who the alpha men are in the room and we’re men stand or sit in the hierarchy of masculinity or manhood.

They will notice the tone of voice, the inflection of speech the body language imposter and the looking men size as they interact. They may not expect the shortest guy in the room to sit at the pinnacle of masculinity in that group dynamic but when he is at the top or near the top they will notice it.

My recommendation to any short man reading this is the find a Toastmasters international club that is near you. You can go to to find one. Anybody can go to the meetings and the meetings are free although it takes a little money to actually become a member. You may think that getting good at public speaking has little or nothing to do with getting girls but I can tell you from experience that it will help transform your personality and give you confidence in how you communicate to a group.

I also know from experience that once you get really good at communication, if everything else about you is on point, such as your appearance your frame and your masculinity you can go into any setting and give a speech or presentation on any subject and if there are enough women in that space some of them will be drawn to you and attracted to you on a personal level.

[Khaliff]

OMG!!! This is my very FIRST post ever on this forum. I did the previous post using speech to text while driving. I thought that, as with Quora I would be able to edit the typos. I now see that I can not edit or delete my post. It is heavily laden with multiple typos. Please forgive me for that as personally, I loathe and detest having to read through posts so rife with typos or poor grammar. 😖

[taraburtch]

im 5'8 so im on the tall side. I don't mind being with short men. I just want them to be confident and not insecure. just be yourself

[NerdyAndTall]

Embrace it, a lot of guys over compensate by trying to be hyper masculine and hurting how people see them