When is the right time for a promise ring?

[Anonymous]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 2 months. He hasn't got me/us a promise ring. But yet some of my friends have been in a relationship for 6 to 8 months and got a promise ring for Christmas. My boyfriend talked about getting us one for our year but didn't. So when is the appropriate time for a promise ring?

Updates

+1 y

Its not that im worry about getting one bc my friends have them. I'm js. A promise ring in 10 and 11th grade is kinda crazy. Even though we've been together for a year its silly to this soon. I don't want to rush anything in my relationship that's why I was asking when is the right time in a relationship to get them?

[unbothered]

Hello There:) I'm going to tread someone lightly here as I am considering your age;) You seem like you are in quite a serious relationship to be so young but congratulations to you for finding someone special that you'd like to share your intimate time with. A Promise Ring by definition is either A. A Pre Engagement Ring that signifies a monogamous & committed relationship or B. A sign of one's purity & commitment to wait until marriage to solidify a relationship through physical connection. While I am not sure as to which definition clearly outlines YOUR relationship, I think that it's cool that you both are interested in the "Promise Ring" concept. While Promise Rings may be viewed as "outdated" or "lame" to some, many jewelry stores still promote and sell them. The concept of a Promise Ring is based in a rather old & romantic tradition. My questions to you would be: Why do YOU desire a promise ring? How much significance in your relationship would a Promise Ring hold? If it were not for your friends having Promise Rings, would you still care to have one? I know that you mentioned that he promised to buy one for you but would you be deeply disappointed if you did not receive one? Is this someone that you (in the future) plan to spend the rest of your life with? These are questions that you may or may not be ready to answer but understand that a Promise Ring , traditionally, is somewhat serious & symbolic business. The right time to receive a Promise Ring is up to each individual couple. You and your BF have been together for quite a while already so you may feel that you are long over due for a stone! LOL but take your time. You're still both relatively young so as you mentioned, there should be no rush. It's up to each individual couple to decide in what ways, if any, they would like to symbolize their love & commitment to one another so just talk to him about it, let him know that there is no pressure on either parts but that you would like to knw if its a plan

[DancingWithDragons]

Whenever, but it seems more like a "we love each other and want to be together forever but don't want to get married cuz that's just a piece of paper and a legal obligation to each other we don't need not agree with so these are our promise rings to symbolize our promise to each other without needing a piece of paper and a wedding to legally latch ourselves to eachother." Sorta thing (in my personal opinion.) like I don't agree with the implications of marriage and would do a promise ring and a party in place of that, of anything. Like it doesn't sound like an "until were married" option, it sounds like an "in lieu of marriage" thing

[aamy811]

I've never gotten a promos ring. One because I don like glitzy rings and two because I dont see a point. I didn't even know people did that until I was in college. But anyways I guess any time you want. If you've already been together for a year then definetly go for it. just do whatever makes you happy

[baseballbtc3]

I'm going to be really honest with you here and it's going to seem kinda harsh but it's the truth. I am 18 now, from the time I was 15 until right before I turned 18 I had a girlfriend who I loved like crazy! She was my world, she made me so so happy, I would do anything for her. For a long time in my mind, she was the girl I was going to marry, it was set and I was happy. Well thing is, shit happens and everything changes. When she started abusing my willingness to go out of my way to do stuff for her and I started not communicating my issues with her for fear of hurting her, everything feel apart in a long and slow painful process to the point where I was happy to get away from here. At your age a promise ring is unfortunately a joke, and any idea that you two will stay together is a joke. I won't doubt you that it is a possibility, but you are both at a changing period in your lives and all of this will
Likely not remain stable. You'll see it happen to your friends when they get dumped and their worlds get shattered... We guys tend to do this sadly. Don't let us make promises we can't keep until the day that real ring comes out. Good luck :)

[Asker]

I'm sorry your relationship ended bad after so long but not all guys and girls in a relationship are like that. My aunt and her husband got together when she was in 9 grade and he was in 11th. They have been together for 22 years now! And they still live each other very much. So maybe that's how it turned out for you but it doesn't always happen to others. Some just get lucky. Maybe God didn't want you two to be together. He has a better match for you! If you haven't found her I hope you will soon!(:

[baseballbtc3]

I appreciate the response :) and my grandparents were the same way until my grandmother passed away. They met as highschool sophomores and it was the best marriage I had even seen. I'm not trying to say you're future with this boy is impossible I just want you to be wary and not focus on a promise ring because it could really set you up to get hurt. Especially if he already said he was getting one for you 2 months ago. I wish you the best.

[Asker]

Haha welcome (: and aww I bet it was adorable! But sorry for your lost. And oh okay. He said it was to soon then and i don't really care I get one I told him not to worry with it seeing how he put me down the first time. Bc I got my hopes up bc I'm a dummy haha but thanks. I don't think this one will hurt me. I hope not anyways. But thanks (:

[baseballbtc3]

Yeah try not to worry too much about the ring, just focus on the relationship as a whole

[Asker]

I do. I try to just say freak it but when other people in a shorter relationship confuses me. I don't need anything to know he promises his love but he wants to but oh well

[baseballbtc3]

Well with those shorter relationships there is a lot of people who think they are in some crazy level of love they have never experienced and never want to lose and it turns out to be a phase or part of the relationship which becomes less special quickly. That's why if someone can want to do something like this and not rush in to it and rush it just because they think it is what they want it is usually much more serious.

[Asker]

Haha that is right but umm thanks for the help! (: (;😍👌👍

[ShyGuy30]

It sounds like you're abit immature saying "my friends got one and I didn't" so what if they did? Promise rings aren't the be all end all, your relationship should be strong enough that you don't need to depend on a promise ring to re assure yourself its real.

[Prettygurl12]

If you compare your relationship's progression to your friends'you may as well break up 'cause you'll never be happy.

The length of time together does not guarantee the strength of the relationship. Promise rings are kind of stupid. If y'all know you're going to get married why not just get an engagement ring?

[Asker]

I'm not comparing I just think maybe there going to fast and were still I'm high school. I think promise rings ate cute and there a pre engagement ring. For couples who want to but can't quite get married yet

[Prettygurl12]

... That's what an engagement ring is. If you want to get married and can, no one says you have to plan a wedding. You just go to the courthouse and sign the paper and boom, you're married. If you want to get married but can't quite yet, you get engaged.

[Asker]

Not. necessarily But okay.

[Prettygurl12]

Maybe I just don't understand haha. I'd MUCH rather an engagement ring than a ring that says, "Instead of saving two more months to buy you a real ring to promise myself to you, I decided to give you this unofficial less impressive ring instead."

[Anonymous]

First off, that MIGHT be because he has no intention of going anywhere with your relationship. That would be really terrible, but let's face it, the majority of guys are douchebags. I say this being a guy myself. I have no clue when a good time is, but I'd say that it's somewhere around when you want to make a promise...
Personally, I think that with the exception of wedding bands, you can't put the right kind/ amount of meaning into a physical item. If you two can trust each other and PROMISE each other to stay loyal, then no ring is necessary. If you can't trust each other that much and want a ring to replace that trust, then you're deluding yourself.

... But hey, that's just my two cents

[Asker]

No he talked about getting us one for our year but said he thought it was to soon so he's now saying a year and a half to 2 years he will but its a surprise. I didn't even ask him about it

[Outofthegrey]

... never. They are a fad and mean nothing.

Promise Ring:

"A ring of any shape and size as long as it’s not from a gum machine that portray you marrying he/or she in the near future. Most likely you two will never marry or you would have given her an engagement ring"

[Outofthegrey]

Also see:

promise ring
1. A tactic teenage boys use to get with a girl without using normal means
2. One way ticket to vaginaville

[Thewhitestdudeever]

I will vouch for this... It's true... It doesn't really mean anything but it definitely got me what I wanted

[cheeseysouffle]

it's really a faze thing that people grow out of. The only time I've seen people use a promise ring in college and older are when they can't afford an engagement or a wedding ceremony. It's not something people give each other when they're just dating.

[AmberDawnxo]

Hmm dont worry about the promise ring so much. Just pay attention to how he treats you, and is loving enough for you and the strength of the relationship. Trust me that's way more meaning then a promise ring. And you'd rather have that , then get one and the guy not doing to much. You can't always. trust a piece of jewlery when it comes to love. All the best though!!

[Michael-in-SC]

Promise rings are one of the most ridiculous concepts I've ever heard of, right up there with purity balls.

[taretare80]

I've told my boyfriend a lot that I've wanted a promise ring but he doesn't care because their "too much money" and its not worth it. mine doesn't get the big picture. I hope yours does (: and the right time to get one would be when you guys have been together for a year or so. So I mean talk to him (:

[Singerbaby92]

you get a promise ring when he feels ready to be commited to you for the rest of his life, because its like saying he's gonna save up for an engagement ring. and since your still young you shouldn't even be worrying about it yet

[noguc001]

To be hobest, i dont thin they're dumb or a waste of time. I just dont think id get them in my teenage years, i am under 18 as well so im not just saying whatever cause im older then you, which in fact, im most probably not.

[why_ask_me]

Promise rings... they still exist!!!
(I only know what that its because i saw it on saved by the bell) other than that I would have no idea what your talking about

[OrdinaryLoner]

1 year minimum unless your like going off to college or something then like 4 months min if you really really like each other.

[MysteriousFlower]

Any of these promise or purity rings is insignificant because that means you can break the promise. You might as well get married when your 18 so you get a real ring ;)

[Joe427D]

Today, tomorrow, or yesterday.
It's a novelty thing, wait till you are old enough to marry and then get the real thing!

[beautifulangel76]

You might as well just get an engagement ring instead. A promise ring doesn't really mean anything to be honest.

[SomeoneImportant]

You just want one because you see other girls getting one. Promise rings are stupid anyway, just be happy you're with the guy.

[Marrryyyyy]

i think 2 months is a good time to start. not really time, just a feeling

[Anonymous]

The younger you get married the higher percentage you'll be divorced. Promise ring after 25!

[Anonymous]

1. he has a promising career ahead mapped out in detail
2. he loves you w/o exception
3. sexual relationship w/protection has begun

[holdmykey]

Promise rings are dumb. Don't worry about it.

[Marstalk]

^ agreed

[JSmuve]

Never. Fiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllllleeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr