Older brothers and their friends.

Why don't older brothers want their best friend to date their sister? Is it the same with all the big brothers out there?

I love the insights I'm getting from you guys and girls. :).. I'm not in that particular situation. Well... not exactly.. I might have a teeny tiny itsy bitsy little crush on bro#3 friend.. Lol...
I realize it causes much less heart ache if both parties steer clear of this situation. The last thing I want I to cause any of brothers any grief or awkwardness, much less cost them their friendships.
That being said, If ever I was completely head over heels in love with any of their friends and said friend felt the same and we're really serious about our relationship, I guess we'd really try hard to convince my brother. But that's a big IF.. :).
I have 4 older brothers btw...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ugh I don't even want to think about. Most of my friends are cool guys but when it comes to girls they're usually not-so-cool. I would never want either of my sisters to date one of my friends, it would just be so... disturbing. And if they would break up it would be pretty awkward being the guy that knows both of them and sees them alot.

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 16

  • I agree with the forwarded comment from archer86. I have 3 sisters. They are all very smart, caring, down to earth, amazing young women. I am lucky that they all have their heads on straight and aren't out at the bars everynight. They aren't looking for those kinds of guys which means I haven't had to deal with them. Sure I have had to bruise up a few guys that became stalkers or really broke their hearts by cheating on them. My point is this. I love my sisters and I know you older bro's. know what I am talking about. I won't over step my bounds; but if any guy disrespects, violates, or smears my sisters names...watch out. To me it's that simple.

    • I think we sisters like the fact that we have brothers who'll be there for us.. It's special bond we have isn't it?.. Though I'm technically the baby there have been times I wanted to strangle a girl or two for hurting my brother/s.. I guess the protective streak is equally strong in the reverse case as well..

    • I really do feel that it is a double edged sword. My girlfriend recently broke my heart about a week before our 1 yr. anniversary. My sisters always made her feel special and part of the family. One of my sisters just left for FLA all summer. My girlfriend found out through the grape vine and wanted to say goodbye to my sis. My baby sister told me that she better not come around. I have always been there for my sisters. I never realized that they were just as protective of me.

  • You know, I'm that way with some of my closer guy pals sisters. It's almost as if they're MY sisters, and if I hear anyone knocking them down or insulting them, or on the other hand, being crass, I get protective.

    My situation is a tad bit different in that my sister is 10 years older than me, so I never really got that "big brother's gotta protect" kind of feeling. The first guy was a jerk and a bit of an ass, I was too young to know or understand. Except for her past boyfriends being huge dorks and sort of losers, they've been good enough guys, for the most part, so no real worries there.

    I did, however, warn my sister's husband once, just a blanket warning, as they began dating, that if her ever tried to physically or emotionally abuse her, he'd answer to me.

    Most of my friends are solid, good guys, so It wouldn't be a concern over potential abuse, because they don't do that. My friends aren't cheaters. They have jobs or are at least hard working. They're great guys.

    1) Guys will have a few friends that are good guys, but some guys will be horndogs.

    2) If there's a breakup, then you might have to take sides. You believe the friend, and your sister feels her brother always takes other people's sides. If you believe the sister your friend may feel like you don't trust them. You do choose a side, the other can feel rejected. It's not a win win situation.

    3) As in #2, now if there's accusation of abuse or worse, then you lost a person you thought was a friend.

    4) Sometimes people like "clean" breakups. The best thing is that I don't deal with my first girlfriend. I don't have any of that. "Out of sight, out of mind."

    5) We're protective in general of our families.

    6) Sometimes we guys like separation. It's like working with our wives. A lot of times, life is more tricky, because we now run the risk of our personal stresses inhibiting our work space, and vice versa.

    7) We don't like hearing about friend's sexual conquests, and if we know the past sexual conquests and stories of our friends, we don't want sister's being talked about like that.

    8) If there's a temporary argument, you have to watch how much you/they come over. They come over, and you want to hang out, but they want relationship time with the sister; or, they're trying to see you, but your sister wants to spend time with her boyfriend. That's just great. Either way, now you've got a potentially awkward situation.

  • Someone posted a similar question about a month ago, I will submit the same answer.

    There is an unwritten rule in life that best friends do not screw their best friends sister/brother. The reasons are several. The first is that very very very few men in the world are mentally and emotionally secure with the knowledge that their lifelong buddy is banging their sister. Us men think everyone's sister/mom/auntie/cousin/niece is fair game except for our own; particularly with our friends. The second reason is that if somehow they get married, your buddy is your in-law! Ouch. The third reason is when the breakup occurs(which is sure to happen), who's side are you on? Your family or your friend? Not an easy position to be in.

    It takes a lifetime to build a true friendship and most people only have a few trusted friends. But only takes a little bit to ruin it for good such as stealing, disrepecting the parents or banging their bro/sis.

    Just don't do it for your own sake and for everyone elses.

    • Hilarious and true!

    • Is it really that bad if your best friend was your brother in law?.. Just wondering.

  • We know our friends just well enough to know that they're total assholes in that aspect.

    We'd dare not subject our sisters to that.

  • I don't have a specific best friend, but of my close friends I would actually like that my younger sister would be dating one of them. The reason is that I know my close friends have honorable intentions and godly morals, and they would take care of my sister in a pure, moral relationship.

    The reason I think other guys don't feel that way is because they know how dishonorable their friends intentions would be. They know their friends and how they act with girls, and my guess is that a lot of the time guys are just using them for sex, and nothing honorable or pure in their intentions.

    Another reason is that I know my friends are planning to wait until marriage to have sex, and so is my sister. Other friends/sisters don't have that same goal, and I can completely understand that in the absence of abstinence it would be really weird/awkward/uncomfortable for me as a brother and as a friend.

    Hope that helps explain!

    Bottom line - I think it'd be great to see my sister dating one of my close friends when it comes time.

    • You and your friends need to come to my town! haha

    • You seem like a different breed of brother to me.. Lol.. jk :).. It's really sweet what you said..

    • Thanks. These are my Christian morals in more than just words, but in actions as well. Timberlake, I'd bet there are guys like me not too far from you - look for sincere Christian guys.

      Do you mind answering a reversal of the question? How would you feel about dating your best friends brother? Or how would you feel about your brother dating your best friend? (I have this posted in my profile, btw).

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What Girls Said 15

  • Not many relationships start off with a guy clearly knowing he wants a relationship with the girl. Mostly they start off with a guy thinking you are sexually appealing. It isn't like any of these guys are going to think of you as their one true love that they cannot let get away. That only happens in movies. That is not how guys think, that is how girls think.

    So, if a guy has to weigh the difficulties of what will happen if the two of you go sour against the benefit of dating you, the difficulties are going to win out. Initially, the biggest benefit a guy can somewhat consider in dating is sex, not long lasting love, and sex alone is not worth the hassle of p*ssing a friend off.

  • older brothers are suppose to care and protect their sisters from boys, and they know what there friends are like about girls, so usually they don't like their friends to date their sisters because they don't want their sister being treated like just some other girl


  • It's not just older brothers. It's older sisters too. I hated it when my brother would date my friends. Just the same he wanted to keep his friends as his friends instead of them ending up my exes.

  • umm.. awkward, much? lol I wouldn't want any member of my family dating any of my friends, to be honest with you. I have a good chunk of super honest friends who don't spare details, if you know what I mean, and I don't want to hear it. besides, if I think my friend isn't good boyfriend/girlfriend material based off their past or their current attitude, I don't want my family to get hurt. and if they break up, I don't want to be caught in that either.

  • This made me think of a great story on fiction press... link check it out...it'll clear things up.

    Also, then you never know if your best friend is coming over to see you or your sister/brother...that's awkward...also the breakup...uh which side do you go on? who's the "idiot who doesn't know how great you are"...? lol and um, just knowing that someone who is like your brother/sister is kissing etc, your sister/brother...eww it sounds soo wrong! lol

    • Hey... I liked the story.. Thanks for sharing. :)..

    • Np :)

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