GirlsAskGuys.com - Recent Questions

Still in love with ex who is now onto another boyfriend after the rebound. forget and move on or try again?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:24:19 -0600

this may seem a bit long but its the only way I can try to help you understand and answer my question. was with my ex who was my first love for a bit more than a year. unfortunately I had a problem with cannabis where at the end it got too much. I lied about how much a bought and when I came clean she was devastated. we tried for two months but it wasn't the same. stupidly I called it off thinking that after a few weeks we might try again. 4 weeks later she's had sex and is going out with the rebound, who did more drug than I ever did and ended up treating her badly as he cheated on her twice. meanwhile I haven't smoked cannabis in nearly a year and now go to the gym to keep fit. a week ago she split up with the rebound guy and is now with her new boyfriend. I still have feelings for her and I think I do still love her but I don't know if she's cold hearted because of what I did or is just confused. so the question is should I just forget about her or should I try my hardest to get back with her and this time not make any mistakes?

Confused about ex.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:23:55 -0600

So my ex of about a month and I have been talking a lot more recently and he asked me to hang out this passed week. We did and had a great time, and now he's texting me a lot, but some of them just to like send a text not actual meaningful texts. I feel like he thinks that I am still so into him, so won't fight that hard for me, and just thinks I'm going to come running back, if he even decides that. The thing is that I do still really care about him so much, and I do want to get back with him, but I want him to show me that he actually cares, and not just send little texts to leave me hanging so he can decide what he wants. I'm just not sure what to say when he texts me, or how to act. I tend to be too nice to people, and always say nice things back to him, but I feel like that's making him think I'm wrapped around his little finger and that's not what I want. I guess what I'm asking is how do I keep his interest? And make him want to keep hanging out with me?

What do I do because I say I'm in love (was love at first sight) but my friends say it's puppy love.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:21:00 -0600

OK this guy Cade (I was obsessed with him): I told him that I liked him in about 10 love letters (wrong thing to do) anyway I told him how I felt (had to take a chance)
so in them they said that I love you and if we could, could we date?
Then he never spoke to me for 2 weeks or 2 months and then I talked to cade over mxit on a friend's phone and then cade said: I just want us to be good friends nothing more nothing less so then 3 days after that we started talking and hugging (he gave the softest hugs ever and the cutest winks and smiles)
so then I stopped writing letters to him and we came a bit closer to each other but never really talked to each other because I was / still am shy.and then without coming to get his report he left just like that (2 days after the farewell / Prom.(I'm still sad about that) I remember every hug , wink he gave me and every song he used to sing and the jokes he used to tel (tears coming back that's how much I miss him) ( the year 2008)

There is this other guy Gerhard: we knew each other after the second term and then we always talked on mxit from about 2 till 5 in the afternoon everyday so he also left like cade and then in the second term I told him I liked him and he never believed me so then I asked him if we could try dating and we did but it was only over mxit because he was to far from where I live and what made me sad was that I only dated him because his current gilfriend was cheating on him (my friend Dessere was dating Gehard) and when I heard that she had another boyfriend Max, I tried to make it easy but with the time I spent with him I actually fell in love with him and then there were moments that I felt all alone and then I said it wouldn't work out so then we broke up and he found a new girlfriend Clarissa (he never told me he had a girlfriend or that he had moved)

So here is the problem: Cade doesn't want anything to do with me but I'm going to the same school as both of them next year

SO IF THERE IS ANY ADVICE YOU CAN GIVE ME I WOULD APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH

What is a good match for this guy?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:17:29 -0600

He is smart. Very popular and sporty too. He knows all the kids from 4-5 classes below.. and he is friends with the coolest kids. He is pretty much, this quiet, moody guy, with not that good a sense of humor, and he rarely laughs out loud as well. HE doesn't like those showoff types of guys. He is not much of a show-off too.. He has very little patience and can hardly stand getting teased.. He is very bad-tempered. He gets angry quick too, after taking a bit, and he gets pretty aggressive. He is not a flirt, though he knows that half the girls in the school has crushes on him. He is pretty lucky, he avoids trouble like nothing. And he managed to choose the right thing. HE can't give speeches.

Looks:- He has dark black curly overlong cute hair. He styles it great too. He has dark clear big eyes and a long-canined gorgeous smile. Just like Taylor Lautner
He has the attitude of Chad Michael Murray in Cinderella Story as Austin Ames.
He has a cool walk
He is tall.. Very tall. With reddish brown skin(we are asians). And he is rather thin. Lanky build. Athletic build. Not too broad, but medium. He has a great fashion sense.

I don't know about my describing abilities.. but he is gorgeous!*sigh* XD

So, what kind of girl would match him? I was thinking maybe she would be plump, chubby, loud, clumsy, sweet rather than gorgeous, friendly, loyal, romantic, loud, not too shy towards guys, and maybe someone afraid of heights.. someone who could calm him in his anger.. and though quick tempered herself, is soo sweet he can't help but smile! ;) And maybe a funny.. more towards the comforting type of girl.. who laughs out loud... and maybe be someone he can talk too...

Lol. I don't know... but what do ya think? If my girl is not good for this guy, please describe what would be good for him... Thanks, appreciate the help!:)

What should I do? This is not sitting well with me, kinda feel like sh*t. Please read.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:13:31 -0600

My last girlfriend and I broke up two years ago. It's been difficult and it took a while to get/getting over her because I was very much in love with her. I felt a real connection. We were together for 8mths, and things just went bad the last 6wks of the relationship; lost my job of 4yrs company went out of business, found a new job but it was very stressful, from the stress of a job hunt my commuting for school and band having a girlfriend sort of caused me to lose touch with a lot of friends, she is/was addicted to oxycontin which probably explains her bipolar/weird behavior at times, she sometimes thought I was condescending to her (never ever had anyone say/feel that about me before)> all those things pretty much contributed to it ending. She broke up with me, but it was kinda ambiguous: a couple weeks went by and I called her because I missed her and still had feelings for her, she told me that she broke up with me because I was difficult to be around and it was not because she didn't love me, and she said she'd call me when she was ready to communicate again. Month or two would go by and I'd text or email her to say "hello", she appreciated the sentiment but she was annoyed at the same time. Last time we spoke was about 6 months after we broke up, we talked for a while, she still was not ready/wanting to be with me again. Got to the point where I just couldn't handle this pending or open-ended with no real answer. I asked her if she could just please tell me that she'd either get in touch with me at some time OR tell me she never wants to speak to /see me again, because I needed some real closure; she wouldn't/couldn't do either. Very saddened by this, I said goodbye, deleted her contact.
I've had no luck with women since. Been on a couple dates with 3 different women, but didn't go anywhere. A few women have shown interest in me, but for some reason part of my thought process for has been "this girl doesn't have a sense of humor, little or no similar interest, she's not as good looking as my ex... this isn't for me". I can't tell if it's just coincidence that I'm not attracted to these women OR if I'm comparing things to my past relationship/my ex which is what is preventing me from connecting, if that makes any sense. I kinda feel like a mega pathetic asshole douche and I don't know what to do. This hasn't been sitting well with me.
Also, one of my best friends is good friends with my ex and it's his birthday this weekend where he wants to celebrate with friends. I'm pretty sure that my ex will be there. She has a boyfriend now, whatever. I'm kinda hesitant to go because for a long time I've been doing anything I can to get over this and the sight of her could just bring up bad feelings/memories that I don't want to deal with now, don't want to bail on my friend because of her that'd be lame, might be weird might not, it'd be a true test for me that I may win or lose. I just don't know what to do about all this. Any help would be appreciated

How important is it for a man to be able to take care of his girl and family?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:57:56 -0600

Let's say you loose your job and have to move with friends or family. How would you feel about dating someone then? Being in a serious relationship. About not having your own place or money to take them out. What if you were already dating someone and then you lost your job? What would you be scared of? Or want them to understand? What would you want from them then? Would you ever break up with someone because of it? Reason is I've been dating someone for about a year. Known him since I was 16. Everything was so good before,always talking and seeing eachother. He lost his job 2months ago and now its like were not together. I thought he was just not interested anymore. But I tried to stop talking to him like two weeks ago and he said no. Then again two days ago because I just thought he didn't want me anymore but he said no again. I knew he lost his job and had to move back in with his parents,but he never told me how he felt. So he told me he feels useless and like he has nothing to offer me.That he wants to take care of me and my 3kids but he can't now. And if I wanted to mess around or go out with other men then he wouldn't blame me and he would understand. He was almost crying when he told me this. But I told him I loved him and I don't want anyone else but him. And that I was gonna be there for him. He doesn't like talking about his feeling and he doesn't want to worry me. I just want to understand him more and what he's thinking and feeling. So that's why I'm asking these questions. Thanks.

What is locking eyes?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:56:20 -0600

what is locked eyes I just want to know . sorry for my english. thanks. oh and another thing, if someone is locking eyes with you will you know that you guys are doing this? please any info is great

Why do girls seem to hide their interest?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:54:32 -0600

OK first off I'm not trying to sound cocky or what not, but I see girls looking at me when I'm out. And while I do have some trouble with working up the courage to approach a girl, why do girls seem to hide away their interest (or un-interest)? I'm not ranting I'm just honestly wanting to learn how girls think. Like I said, rejection and embarrassment is hard enough, but when I'm not sure how a girl feels or if I should even pursue her it makes it that much harder. It only seems to be the girls I find attractive that I have trouble with. Are pretty girls (meaning the ones I'm attracted to) trying to ignore guys so that they chase them? Sorry for the long post lol, and thanks for any answers!

How long will your marriage last after you lie to file criminal charges against his MOM?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:52:54 -0600

1 week
1 month
6 months
1 year or longer

I am being blackmailed by her sister. Advice?!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:42:28 -0600

OK I met this girl at a Halloween party a couple of weeks ago. We've been out together a lot in that time frame, like 10 or 11 times. This is a serious relationship, by the way, she's not just a friend with benefits or a f*** buddy. We're both really enjoying each other and there haven't been any awkward moments or anything. We've never had any arguments or gotten upset at each other. Basically, it's going really well.

The Bad News. She has a really hot sister who is a total slut. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but I'm not looking for sex right now. Anyways, her sister knows me because she is a friend of a girl I was with a while ago. She knows that I was a player in the past and she tried to seduce me. I told her: "I'm serious with your sister I'm not having sex with you." The next day she told me that if I don't have sex with her soon, she's going to tell her sister that I'm a cheating womanizer and that I tried to have sex with her. I'm thinking that if I do have sex with her, she will just tell her sister anyways, because she's a total bitch. She's a girl version of a player. And if I don't have sex with her, she's going to lie to her sister and compromise my entire relationship.

Advice? I really don't know how to handle a situation like this and I don't have much time before her sister will approach me again.

How do shy guys show that they really like someone?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:41:16 -0600

Pretty much says everything in the question... but I'll give an overview of the guy too...

-He doesn't talk to girls. Period.
-He is THE Most Desired Guy in THE SCHOOL. Period.
-He is handsome.
-He knows that most of the girls liked him, and he has been known to look and spread rumors and ask guys to ask them if they actually liked..
-He has never liked a girl before.
-He has told all his friends.
-All my friends like him too.

See, there is this guy I like, and I think he likes me too. He has been giving mixed signals of a real crush since 3 years now, and I was desperate to know who it was... Now, I think it is me...

I just want to know, how shy guys display their interest...Plus would he look at other girls... and how would he show off? Do guys mind overweight, clumsy girls?

Guys: Have you ever broken up with someone and decided it was the wrong decision and wanted to get back?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:28:01 -0600

This one is for the guys. Have you ever broken up with your girlfriend, (say you have been dating for 2 years). You don't talk for months, but down the road you realize you want her back. If so I want to hear your story, and why you did it. And did she take you back? What did you do, did you call her? What did you say?

Is there anyway to make some extra cash and quick?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:23:55 -0600

OK so I have about $2500 in income for December and $1500 in bills I have to pay. That leaves me with 1000 left over and this is where the problem is...Me and my wife are going on a vacation that is already paid for during Xmas. We still haven't bought any presents and need spending money for the vacation too. If anyone has any realistic ideas for me to make some extra money quick please help me out I am stressed out about this. Thank you

What does this mean?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:21:26 -0600

Today I was talking to my friend and she told me that my boyfriends ex's told her last night my boyfriend said that he still loved her keep in mind that my boyfriend has been obsessed with me for the past two months and we were not even dating... also he always talks about other girls that like him to me and he always brings them up in a conversation and its annoying what should I do any advice is greatly needed

What do you think of friends getting together?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:10:10 -0600

What if you know someone for more than ten years. Met when you were teens. You get along so well and have so much in common. Always liked each other but couldn't be together until now. Because of school or it was always a bad time for one of you so you couldn't date. And now you can and you start dating. Everything is going good so far. So what do you think of this? How would a guy think of it? Or what?

He says he doesn't know if he loves me anymore?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:51:26 -0600

I asked my boyfriend why he hasn't been talking so much and he finally opened up and told me he just doesn't know if he loves me anymore. I know this question is sort of self-explanatory, but I would like some insight as to why he would feel like this when everything seemed OK (no fighting or anything for a long time). We are going to hang out and talk about it (unless he chickens out). Do you think this is fixable? or should I just let go? Any response is better than none. Thanks.

She's not ready for a relationship, but I don't want to lose her!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:47:58 -0600

I've been single now for 3 months, so I feel pretty ready to start a relationship. I met this amazing girl a month ago and we dated casually, and on our 4th date she told me that at this moment in time she didn't want a boyfriend (she had also seen this other guy as well – although only once), she said that she didn't want to hurt me and she was sure that that was what was going to happen.

She had broken up with her ex-boyfriend days before we actually met - he cheated on her and she rushed into that relationship anyway. She's just arrived at my university as well. We get on so well, make each other laugh, have similar interests and have been physical - just making out and cuddling in bed, but there is a chemistry there )I think!).

I’m confused what to do now. She clearly thinks that she’s on the rebound and is absolutely convinced that she will hurt me. She wants us to stay friends though but says its up to me.

I was a little pushy last time I saw her and told her I wanted a relationship. She again said she just couldn't - although she struggled with the ideas going around her head.

I've now accepted that we're not going to go out, but I need to know what I should do now. I want to still be her friend and let her know that when she's ready I’ll be there (if its in the next few months). What should I say to her, or should I just play it cool and see her as friends – I care for her and love spending time with her.

I’m pretty sure that this isn't just a brush-off, as she really does seem to like me, but clearly she has other issues going on right now. I want to be there for her now and show her the potential that we could have in the future, without her feeling pressured right this minute.

Help!

Should I call him? What should I say?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:42:42 -0600

I met this guy and we have gone out about 7 times now. We live about 40 minutes from each other, and the last time I saw him, he took me out for dinner at this pretty classy and expensive restaurant and then we came back to my place and watched a movie, cuddling and holding hands the whole time. Everything seemed great, but then I didn't hear from him until a few days later when he started talking to me online on msn. We had a good chat again, but now I haven't heard from him in over a week. I have been refusing to call him because I felt that he should be the one to call, but now I am getting very confused.

How can you act extremely interested in someone one day, and then not be bothered to call? I should mention that I know he wasn''t using me for sex or anything since all we ever did was kiss (both our decisions, not only me)

I know he has a very time demanding job and does a lot of sports on the side, but should that really excuse his lack of contact?

Should I call him and see what is going on? How can I tell him that I am disappointed about not hearing from him when we aren't even technically in a relationship?

Ex-boyfriend claims to still love me, but actions don't say the same.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:28:09 -0600

My ex-boyfriend and I just recently broke up because at first he said that he couldn't fall in love, but just changed his reason to he could fall in love with me, he just didn't feel like it was the time in his life to do so. We are still just hanging with each others. It seems like we are dating without a title. Now, he seems so rude to me. He still claims to love me and I'm his one and only. I do so much for him to show I care. He says he appreciates that. However, he puts clubbing before me. He writes things on his Facebook status that appeal to the ladies because he loves the single life. Just recently he put on there that he wad getting tired on the routine and was looking for miss spontaneous. How am I to take that?

What does this mean?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:24:38 -0600

And I don't have to do anything but take a nice warm shower :)

My crush sent this to me in a text when I asked him what he was doing later? Was I just being perverted or is this suggestive?

Why does she always change her mind all the time we get into a fight?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:24:19 -0600

link --> in addition to this story over here..

Me and my ex talked again yesterday, and got into a fight because she texted me two days after telling me she needed time to heal her head and body (she's been sick) so we can talk again.. And I got really angry because it takes a little more then two days in my opinion and she started small talk..So, I felt a little disrespected.

Well long story put short, we faught, she freaked, and changed her mind once again and said she "Never again" wants to b with me as a boyfriend and thinks we should cut all contact forever and never see or speak to each other again, because we always get into fights and she can't handle it anymore, its too much stress she said.

This struck me really intensively because two days ago she had said she wanted my help to get through things and she would talk to me again after she got her head back together, and out of the blue she changed her mind yet again...I still love her a lot, but I'm going on with my life..I just feel very sorry for her cause this is her first real love and serious relationship and I'm trying to help her get through it cause she's totally lost.. She has no idea what to do anymore.. She's always putting these images inside of her head like "he doesn't wanna cut contact, he's being clingy" when she's the one who cuts contact and then contacts me.. Also, "he wants me to forget all the bad stuff so we can get back together", when I just want her to forget the bad stuff so she can move on happily and look back at all of this as a rich experience... And , "I don't wanna be friends with him anymore because he's always freaking out at me cause I don't wanna be with him", when the truth is I freak out every time she disrespects me by changing her mind or insults me in a conversation, just like "He wants to control me that's why he says not to post pictures of me hugging boys that are my friends on faceook", when the truth is I would prefer for her to be discreet about that kind of thing since I am being also, its all about not hurting each other cause we still love one another.. It's like she's creating all of these images in her head that are all false... Why does she build all these false ideas? Why does she always change her mind all the time we get into a fight? And ultimately...Since I really don't know what to do anymore, cause she basically said "I want you to disappear from my life forever" and "I don't know you anymore so leave me alone, you are dead to me"...What is going on here? She still loves me and at the same time says all these things...

Thanks in advance for ur help, and I hope you can answer all three of my questions and if possible your opinions about all this...thank you

If a guy texts you first does he like you?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:21:28 -0600

My crush gave me his number and I gave him mine. Two days later he text me. We talked for a good couple hours. My friends said there is a good possibility that he may like me if he text me first. What do you think?

Can hooking up with your friend ever really lead to a real relationship?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:14:52 -0600

I hooked up with a guy friend about 2 years ago, and where I thought it would get awkward then it has made us closer and we keep up with each other by talking almost everyday or every other day and for a long long time he is the only guy I am hooking up with because I didn't think I wanted anything serious. When we first hooked up, I was in a rocky relationship with my children's father (the only serious relationship I have ever been in I have two teenagers with him) so I made sure I told myself that hooking up with my friend was just that, can't be anything more. Flash forward to now I am at a point in my life where I have ended it completely with my children's father and started looking to move about 6 months ago, was open to moving a great distance away, but once my friend found out I was house hunting I have noticed some big changes on both our parts. I realized he is a huge part of my life and I really count on speaking and seeing him on a regular basis so I can't explain the gut punching feeling I got when I tried to picture life without him in it. I asked him if he was okay with me moving and possibly far and he said no he assumed I was staying local and hoped I did. After looking for months, I did choose a home local and yes he was a factor in that. There have been times we are together and he tells me he is proud of me and loves that I have goals in life and things he admires about me. If he calls me he talks to my kids and then he will tell me all about what they talked about. I use to take his comments as kinda sweet talking when he would say how much he missed me or he was thinking of me so he called but more recent when I started analyzing my own thoughts and feelings, I am wondering if I am putting up a wall or blind that he is trying to open up to me, or worse giving off the "I don't want anything serious vibe". He told me long time ago he is really bad at discussing his emotions so I don't know if his comments are his way of hinting to me. The most forward comments to me have been in a context of us talking about the future and what we want. I told him I didn't care where I was I just wanted him in my life, he said the same that he wanted me in his life but he added he wants everything with me. I KNOW I missed my perfect opportunity to ask "what is everything"! but I was really scared at that moment so I clammed up! It is hard to explain but I think I have been blind to my own feelings for a long time for him and it is scary I can see myself with him. Now that I think back on us for the last two years, I think there has always been something there but I am so "I got to work, take care of my kids Can't be with anyone now, don't have time". I don't want to confuse myself by realizing my feelings and "thinking" I am sensing the same from him. I feel silly to be scared to put myself out there but I never thought it would lead to anything. Is it possible that hooking up can really lead to a true honest relationship?

Second chance for attraction (female opinion appreciated)

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:04:59 -0600

i wanted to know the female opinion on the following, if you meet a guy and you see him as just a friend, is there any way you can change your mind and become attracted to him? maybe if his attitude changes, he becomes more interesting, etc?

to give you the male point of view, if I meet a girl and think she's nice but not my type, if she becomes more confident, show me a side besides her nice girl attitude, I can become attracted to her...

in male point of view, there's a second chance to attract someone, what about on your opinion?

A guy friend (platonic) repeatedly adds his surname to my given name. What's up with that?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:56:13 -0600

He either says my name with his last name, or he tries to write it when I'm filling out forms. Sometimes he hyphenates my last name in with his when he says it.

What kind of obsession is this?
Does a man's "name" really mean that much to him? Is it normal for a man to "try out" a girls name with his?

There is nothing between us from my point of view.

Is my girlfriend gone forever?!? Please help!!!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:15:59 -0600

Six months ago my girlfriend tells me that she needs time to think and wants a break. We have been together for 3.5 years and already decided we were to get married and have kids one day. She is the love of my life and I would do anything for her...

After a week apart she says she misses me and wants to get back together. I take her out to dinner and shower her with love. Later that night she says she can't lie to me and said she has been seeing another guy the past week. They were talking while we were together and she actually hung out with him the night after we broke up. They fooled around together and she realized she made a huge mistake and wanted to be with me. I was so distraught and heart broken I never saw this coming.

Months go by and she moves in with my and we are happy on the outside...but my mentality was still damaged and no matter what I did I could never feel better after what she did. I felt the only way to make myself feel better was to cheat on her. This was the biggest mistake of my life. I had sex once with a girl and it was cold and emotionless. I knew then I made a huge mistake and rushed back home to my gf. I never told her what happened and she found out the hard way. Last week while I was sleeping she went through my phone and saw the texts I sent to this girl. She even saw pictures of us holding hands on Facebook and my girlfriend went insane. She smashed pictures of us and even the blackberry I paid for her to use so I know she was safe in the city.

This past week I sent her flowers wrote her poems. I am even reading relationship books on how to get back together and pick up the pieces. My girlfriend always called me an alcoholic which is hard to be when you are 21 but I even told her I am going to go to AA meetings cause I know that is what she would want. I am writing her songs and sending her emails telling her how sorry I am and how I have ruined both our lives.

She said she is disgusted by my and wants nothing to do with me. She also said she would never get back together and that its over forever. She could never forgive me.

Someone please help! I cheated because I thought it would help me escape these thoughts of her going outside the relationship while she knew me and was with me. I want her back so badly. I will do counseling or anything it takes to be with her again.

He seemed so distant last night...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:32:45 -0600

My boyfriend called me yesterday to tell me he got called into work. He seemed pretty blah about it and he did want me to bring him dinner the next day because he had to work another 12 hrs. So I was like OK, then my friend came over so I asked to call him back. He said OK.
Well, I called him back, no answer, then I did again an hour later he answers. I'm like hay! He was like hi but seemed so sad. So I tried to be silly and I said I called you earlier where was ya. He said "I was working wtf you think I was doing? Quit sounding like I'm pushing you away or doing something wrong. " And I am like whoa? What's that about? So I said I wasn't thinking anything (which I wasn't) and that I was just playing around. He said OK and then was quiet.

Apparently he's VERY depressed and I can hear it in his voice. I asked what's wrong he said I don;t know. And that he didn't feel like talking. So I said I would let him go, can I call back later he said yes. *btw he's at work but he was at a job where he's able to talk.*

So about 4 hrs later I call back, nothing. I gave up. But he calls me at 430am when he got off work. Quiet as before, so I ask if he wants dinner still and he said no he changed his mind. So I said you don't wanna see me? He said no... cause he has to work another 12 hrs at 3pm.

So, after my book of a question, here's the question... does he seem distant, is it in my head? He has been very down lately even said he was "helpless" one time. What are some ways I can help him? Or can I even help him? Please help! thanks for your time! I appreciate it :)

Do guys think girls only want them to pay for her stuff?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:30:26 -0600

I am really good friends with this one guy and it is really obvious that he likes me (I might like him a tad bit too). And we go to the movies sometimes, and I always bring my own money but he always insists on paying for mine. And then when we go eat afterwards he pays for it too. I feel bad because I mean we aren't dating or anything so he really doesn't have to, and I offer to give him money but he won't ever let me.
Well I really love hanging out with him and I was wanting to ask him to meet me at a restaurant today ad eat but I am afraid he will think I am only asking him so he will pay for mine.
But it isn't like I use him, we text each other all day pretty much everyday, I am just afraid he will think I am only asking him so he will pay for my stuff.

Do guys think this or do they enjoy doing it, or what?

What should I say to him?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:29:56 -0600

I've been kinda seeing this guy, not dating, but don't want to anymore. Anyway, there's been a lot of stuff I've been dealing with and haven't felt like talking so I haven't said anything to him in 4 days and feel really really bad about it, but don't know what to say to him now. And I know, be honest and straight forward and all that but I just can't figure out the right words. Appreciate any help!

Does this sound like a friend or girlfriend?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:15:41 -0600

i think this guy I like may have a girlfriend, but I'm kind of afraid to ask
this girl has left comments like "i already said but congrats again hun. very proud of you" when he passed a big test.
she has left comments about leaving stuff at his house and just general random comments. what would you assume? ill prob end up asking, but what would you assume?

It's weird how people's feelings change instantly.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:13:18 -0600

Its weird me and my guy mate liked each other for 2 years he made a point of me knowing, however he was seeing someone at that point in time and we couldn't do anything about. After they broke up things kept delaying us being together, as a result of this I was was with someone then he hooked up with someone. A few months ago, we kissed and it was weird between us we've been friends for so long we realized were in the friends zone. As a result of our kiss, he became distant and began to not respond to a text. So I stopped texting him too. This lead to us both not talking. He came a out a few weeks ago and he held my hand but then I found out he was seeing someone. I realized by this point maybe if our friendship really mattered he would have spoke to me about it rather then ignore me by what happened between us
:S
hmmm...anyways I think we've both moved on over the past 2 years and maybe its best if we work on our friendship instead from now on. Can any give me any ideas on how I can do this?

Why? Oh why is this hell happening????

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:59:03 -0600

I have a crush on the most perfect guy in school. period.. lets call him, 'N'.. Anyways, N shows all the things a guy who's interested would,since 3 years. ever since,i tried to help my friend and sent N a love letter which all ended in disaster...But I think N is interested and he has told all his friends.. but none of the girls know.. because boys and girls don't talk.. especially him for that matter.recently N has started doing the most romantic stuff... and its driving me insane.. I have fallen head-over-heels in love with him.. and I can't stop thinking of him...

Lets just say, I know he likes me.. and he kind of knows I like him... Not that I know, but for the sake of the problem, lets just say so.

He was absent on Monday, right after the weekend... but he came on Tuesday.. I got new specs that day. and was all shy. Anyways, N came on Tuesday.. and he was all pensive. I expected him to do all the stuff he did before because he didn't see me for so long and I missed him like hell.. but he didn't, and shocked as I was, I got kind mad at him.. I was all,"if he ignores me, why should I care?" You know what I mean right?

Anyways, nothing happened,So I was watching him the whole time... he didn't notice, I'm sure of that. Anyways, he wasn't with his friends much either.. just talked a bit, rarely seemed like he was having a good time and was all moody. However once I was laughing with my friends like nothing.. and I was facing him,and he was facing front.,and I was all happy and laughing.. and I noticed he looked from the corner of his eyes. he always does when I smile.. so I regained my good mood again.
Then we had to go for a common period. Here, the guy started copying the movements of the girl I sit next to.. I was thinking maybe he knew I was nervous about the specs, so I was covering myself as much as possible.
but it went too far, he even copied the position of her hands, and moved at the same pace. But towards the end, he stopped and he came front when I was in front and in a position where he could see me.She is V. Now, N is writing on all the tables, drawing hearts and carving letters and cutting them off.. I have noticed my first letter a lot with his,like N+my letter. or N loves... So I was all happy.once he wrote it down on a cork which only the grade 11s had to use so it was obvious. But now I'm seeing N+V or Vand N drawn together.. its hard to tell, its only on a table which everyone uses so it could be another couple, but they use it too. He does stuff to me, when she is there, but when she was absent, he was more flirty than ever, and he was staring at me, when I was alone,eye to eye for a long time, with his eyebrows raised and eyes huge.so why the change? All of a sudden? Did he get disgusted by my specs or by me over the weekend? The next day, he was absent, his friends who never teased me b4 jokes me with "Na"

So why? Why did this change?

And he was absent for the rest of the week.. and I'm only gonna see him next monday

How do I stop thinking like this?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:35:24 -0600

Since me and my ex boyfriend have broke up I find myself checking his online accounts. If I'm around him (I have to see him for our son) and his phone goes off I go crazy in wondering who it is that's contacting him. I have recently got a new phone and think about texting him and saying something like "hey sexy [his name], fancy some fun ;)" just to see how he will react because he says he doesn't respond to numbers he doesn't know and I want to see if he was telling me the truth when he said that. All I want to be able to do is just get on with life and not have these crazy thoughts! Has anyone else gone through this? How did you get over it? What can I do to stop being like this?

Underwear smelling?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:24:33 -0600

So all this talk about guys smelling women's undies on here has got me worried if my smell is good or bad. like, what does the normal scent of a women smell like? can girls or guys please explain the scent you like in [somehow] detail? like, I know this might be awkward but I want to know if I smell normal.

She regrets it all and wants forgivness?? She thinks I hate her!!!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:44:04 -0600

So since she broke up with me she is always texting me.. But I ignored it cause of the way she treated me, anyway the text kept on coming. the latest she wanted forgiveness and says she was so stupid and regrets it all! She always says that she doesn't want me to hate her! So anyway I have left it a week... and today I just sent her a text saying, I don't hate you...Was it the right thing to do, I don't hate her, am just p*ssed off. ? Does she want me back also asking for forgivness? And saying she regrets it all?

My confusion is leading to assumptions...I need help badly.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:57:05 -0600

I started dating this guy and quickly our feelings got strong and I suppose we were "naive" and said "I love you" to each other. Everything was so natural between us, something I've never felt with anyone else. About a month and a half later he "took it back" and said we were moving too fast and that all this is just a huge infatuation. BUT, he didn't want to break up, he wants our relationship to grow. We are still together but he doesn't spend as much time with me anymore. I don't say anything and I do let him have his space and go out and do his own thing. After not say the 'L' word for a bit, I'm beginning to feel like what I do isn't good enough for him TO love me. I fear that the real reason he "doesn't love me yet" is because he still loves his ex and cannot love me until all (or most) feelings for her are gone. I don't WANT to assume that this is true, but after he confessed to our relationship going too fast, whenever she is brought up by his mother or someone...something negative about her, he (without hesitation) takes his ex's side. He also told me a dream that he had about her apologizing to him and wanting him back which maybe is a sign that that is what he secretly wants? I really don't want to assume that maybe that is the case and I try to stay on the positive side, but I am scared that the more I leave it be the more it makes things worse. What advice could you give me? and what can I do to win his heart...again? Because although he does not say it or maybe even feel it, I DO love him...its been 3 months now...

Guys, what do you make of this?? I don't know where I stand.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:51:03 -0600

Ive been kinda seeing this guy since the summer, and yesterday I asked him what's going on with us, because I was kinda confused about where I stood with him, I know he was hurt bad in a previous relationship and because of this he has trust issues with girls.We don't get to see each other very often because we live about 4 hours from each other, but lately we have been getting on very well, we talk almost every day on the phone and by email, and I was starting to think that maybe this was going somewhere. But when I asked him yesterday, his response was that he does like me, but he's happy the way things are, "not serious" and that he's not ready to "get back in to the relationship boat just yet". I just said OK, then I said to him "so does that mean you don't mind if I see other people"? but he replied that he's not seeing anyone else and that it would bother him if I saw other people, I'm quite confused by this...hes saying he's not ready for a relationship but then he's saying he doesn't want us to see other people, I would appreciate any of your opinions guys thanks.

How long does it usually take to get over a break up that lasted 2 years?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:41:00 -0600

It's been a month since I broke up with the guy I thought I was going to someday marry, and I'm still waking up in the middle of the night having thoughts of him, and being in tears. Like tonight for instance. I just got done reading "It's called a Break Up, because It's Broken." It made me feel better for a while, and then tonight I've cracked, and crumbled. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It is by far the most and longest lasting pain that I have ever had to deal with. I'm supposed to forget the guy, but I am really really having difficulty doing so. He was the first guy I ever loved, he was the first guy I ever said I love you to. He was the one who always said if this ever ended he would have a the hardest time getting over me, and you know what he lost feelings for me, and I don't know how to accept it. I don't even know what is worse? If he had cheated on me, or if he just stopped loving me? I personally think it is absolutely crazy the way people do this. People who marry there high school sweethearts and have never been broken up with before are pretty much the luckiest people. Like my parents for example. I just don't know how people deal with stuff. I Know I never ever want to get into another relationship knowing that your going to fall really hard for someone just for them to forget about you in less then a month. I know I'm not supposed to want him back, and the sad thing is I'd take him back in a second. He broke up with me two days before my birthday, and didn't know if I'd ever see him again or talk to him again. He deleted his Facebook. It was a long distance relationship, we lived states away from each other, and saw each other once a month. And everyone says that is hard, and it is, and it doesn't make our relationship any less valuable then any normal relationship. I knew he loved me until the very last month of our relationship. The main reason why started having little arguments was the mere fact that he had to sign papers saying if he was or not going to stay in the coast guard for the next 2 to 4 years. I'm just heartbroken. I never ever expected to feel like this after a relationship like the one we had. But it wasn't even the papers it was because over the phone one day he just lost feelings for me. I know I shouldn't wait to hear from him one day, or for him to get back on his Facebook, but I'm secretly hoping he does give me a call one day saying he wants to be back together. And the other part of me is trying to move on, but can't. I've made out with someone, but I hated it. I've tried moving on, and I'm gonna try to meet other guys, but in the meantime, I've really only got hopes for him to come back to me. It's not like I'm waiting for him and only him. I just love him a lot. I miss him like crazy, and it's the wrong thing for me to feel. I just wish feeling miserable from time to time would end completely. I hate feeling this way. Advice please? Anyone.

Shall I ring him?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:30:25 -0600

At the start of the week, my boyfriend & I almost broke up, because of several reasons! we didn't though and we sat down & spoke.

Now when we where speaking, I said to him that Id appreciate it if he made more of an effort to contact me.

Since saying that he has done, however last night & today doesn't feel like he has.

Now I brought him to work this morning & was completely stress out, as I got to his place 5 mins late. Being human, I had to divert the stress onto someone else and blame them for it! When I got there he wasn't reading to go straight away so I thought great! I can blame all my stress on him.

I was completely out of order for doing this and I now feel awful!

I sent him an apologetic text, basically saying sorry for being a bitch & I have had no reply back.

Now I'm concerned that me bitching and blaming him has annoyed him. Its the last thing I want to do when things are only just sorting out between us.

He is busy in his job which may be a reason I haven't heard from him.

But I just don't know whether to ring him and see if he is OK with me, as I feel terrible. =[

What do you think?

What to do with this girl?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:12:03 -0600

For about 2 years in high school, I had a a huge crush on this girl. Skip 1 year and 1 Girlfriend later, I had a dream about this girl-- I had completely forgotten about her until this point. I haven't seen her until about a week ago, when I was at a house party. She runs up to me, gives me a hug, and completely remembered me-- it took me a while to remember who she was, but then I became completely re-infatuated. We talked for a while at this party, and numerous times she touched me/ danced with me, and at one point even grabbed my face with her hands and stared at me while we were talking. I was completely hammered, and she was somewhat drunk. I forgot to get her number, but started talking to her on a Facebook for the past few days. We've had a few small conversations, yet I get the feeling she still thinks of me as the same, "sometimes impolite" guy from high school. To be honest, I would do anything to date this girl. Should I try to show her how I've changed, or is there no point to it? She will more than likely be at a football game me and my friends have next Friday, which will probably be the first time we've met completely sober since senior year. Please help, I can't stop thinking about her!

Is she crazy or what's going on?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:04:46 -0600

Hi I just need some outside perspective on what’s going on. Here’s the situation, I met this girl at my college for a month now. The first time we met she flirted with me a lot so I decided to ask her to tutor me in French and I tutor her in math in exchange just as an excuse to spend time together. At our first tutoring I asked her what she likes and she asked me the same so I said paintball and she said she would like to go and I asked her to get coffee sometime and she said yes without even hesitating before we left she even asked if I wanted to do tutoring more than once a week but I said I’m okay with once a week. Then I text her the next night “Starbucks sometime next week?” and got a “We’ll see =D” in return. I texted her one weekend how was her trip to L.A. and this is what I got “Yea was so amazing I’m speechless… Not only was it fun I had a weekend fling with my friend that I was staying with it was so cute! How was your weekend?” by the way the friend she stayed with was from her old high school and he goes to USC. I texted “Wow did you make out with your cute friend? Lol” She replied “lol no I told him I didn’t want to because he pulled me in to kiss him and I know if I make out with him I’ll have stronger feelings and then I’ll just get hurt because he lives so far away…so yeah…he kept kissing me on the cheek though and on my forehead ha ha it was so cute.” After that I decided to move on with this girl so when we met for tutoring I told her I can’t do tutoring anymore because I’ll be very busy. She looked sad and this was unexpected for her. Then a few days later she came to the Math Lab where I tutor any student that needs help with math and asked for my help so I did and she flirted with me again like always. Then I decided to give her another try so I asked her to go laser tag and she said yes and asked to bring her gal friend so I said okay I’m bringing my friend too. Then a few days later she texted me about what time we’re going etc. and then a few minutes later I got 50 text messages saying SPAM in it but it wasn’t from her phone so I called her to see if she has the same problem she sounded really bitchy which is not like her because she sounds really sweet all the time to me and I heard giggling sounds in the background. Then I realized the number was from her friend’s phone and I know this because her friend’s number was posted on Facebook. So can you tell me what’s going on? Is she crazy or just fooling with my emotions?

Does race really matter?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:48:18 -0600

Does race matter to guys (or girls) when you are dating someone. I am a black girl and I like all races. I find personality to be more important instead of the outer appearance. Sometimes I here guys who aren't black say they would never date a black girl. It makes me feel like they think we are dirty or something. Now when I meet someone out of my race
sometimes I ask if they like even black girls. I know all men aren't like this but I come across some who do discriminate and I am just curious if race matters when dating someone.

How do I tell my family about my serious relationship?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:33:07 -0600

My family doesn't pry into my life. It's weird, I know. I don't talk to them about my love life at all. I've always dated guys and not really talked about it with them. Except I've been seeing this guy for awhile now and I love him very much. We're very serious and I want to tell them about him, but I don't know how to. I don't live with my parents, so it's not like they can see us hanging out and deduct we're dating. I would have to bring it up, but I can't figure out how without it sounding so sudden and strange. Any suggestions or advice? Or should I continue to wait until they ask me if I'm seeing someone? But that could be months from now, if ever.

Crappy childhood and regrets.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:29:53 -0600

So my childhood from maybe age 7 to 18, my life has sucked major balls due to too many things, primarily a dysfunctional family that caused a lot of psychological pain and trauma, sounds bad but maybe it wasn't as much as it sounds. I never had real friends, I thought I was ugly(im above average tbh) very self conscious back then, shy, didn't speak much. some kids picked on me, the only thing I did was not care about what they said or did, eventually they backed off.

i was a loner. I repressed all the good memories with bad ones because they are so many its way too difficult to remember any good times I had back then.. lots of death and lack of family support and friends pretty much made me a independent individual. I became introverted, really into my own world and stuff. school was like whatever to me. I didn't try my best. and when I did I sucked. never found my passion and never met a girl or had anything with one, didn't really even start talking to them till my 12th grade... never mutually kissed or hugged a girl, in essence, my childhood was filled with emptiness and at the same time full of bad times 95% of the time.

I wish I could have been Somewhat normal like the other kids, actually hang out with other guys and girls, play games in recreation... talk or have conversations with them. instead I spent my time alone, walking, thinking, knowing everyone else I "know" is being normal. they are being kids. I was being something else, something lonely and rejected and I think I just rejected myself from my family on the inside and from people in general because I never got treated right from other kids, for one, not being White in a 99% white school pretty much.

its so hard to think of any good times I had back then.. I try to and its gone a second later. my whole childhood sucked. and I know kids these days, know some and hear about others that have girlfriends, or going to parties and etc... I hate how my life turned out to be so difficult even if it made me strong in other areas. but what is life without human interaction.

I've changed A LOT since then now. and I'm trying to fix myself from the inside out and outside in. and I'm doing it all alone because throughout all my life since I was a kid, I've been and always have been alone, and I can't stand that anymore.

i just feel like I wanted to get this out , this isn't a question or anything. but maybe if you wanna share or whatever, that's fine. I just regret so much. and I hate my life and for some reason I still have fuel to burn for continuing this life I am trying to get by with and I feel like I'm seeing the gasmeter as empty.

Angelina Jolie or Megan Fox? Who's hotter??!!!!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:26:07 -0600

1. Angelina Jolie
2. Megan Fox

What does it mean when an ex says it would be nice to see you ?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:06:11 -0600

Me and my ex have been broken up for almost 2 months. He broke up with me. He text me that if I was down we should grab a drink sometime, because it would be nice to see me.. Wtf does this mean.. ? I really don't understand. A few weeks before that text he sent me one that said he didn't know if I was still p*ssed or anything. but that he did miss me. he just wanted me to know.
So basically does all this mean he wants to be my friend now.. If not then what does he want..

Which city do you think is the best in the world?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:58:28 -0600

Which city do you think is the best in the world?

I'm too fat for him? guys?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:55:39 -0600

my boyfriend had brought up working out... but in a way where it made it known that he meant that I should be the one working out.. and I'll agree I could use to lose a few pounds but I made the mistake of asking him what he didn't like about me or what bothered him about me and he said my weight... I know I shouldn't' asked but I wasn't expecting this answer because it wasn't at all related to what we had been talking about at the moment...

guys would you leave you girl or significant other if they were to gain weight? How important is appearance?

Girls how bout you?

Hi, girls! Do you like military body??

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:55:29 -0600

Hi, girls! Do you like military body?

Can I live alone all my life or is love going to fall out of nowhere?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:41:35 -0600

Well I used to date this one woman but we broke up almost a year ago. She is quite a bit older than me (She is the one on the photo of my icon) I've said to her things that I still regret and that made her completely lose all contact with me so we never talked ever since and I am not sure we ever will.
She was perfect to me in every way, much different and better than any other girl I've met. She was very unique and since I think I am unique person too we clicked together perfectly well but the age difference stood in the way of her morals..
Well anyways ever since she left me I never felt attracted to anyone. I don't think I ever want to be with anyone else because there isn't anyone else as good as her and I don't wanna betray my love to her.
I am still open to the possibility that some day I will meet a woman that will make me fall in love. But I really doubt that will happen because I don't feel like looking for anyone. I think I can be fine by myself, but the only thing is if I am alone I will never be able to get her out of my head and it's gonna always hurt.
But again I don't want to look for a girl just to use her to forget about my ex because I don't think I can feel love for anyone anymore. What are you people's opinions on this?