Search Results: keeping me waiting

Am I the only one who thinks this has a high chance of being a recipe for disaster waiting to happen? We can pretend to live in a fair fantasy world all we want, but the truth is that most male and female friendships aren't 100% platonic. Usually at least one of the two develops feelings or at least a crush for the other, and I'm sure that most of us have experienced this with the majority of our friendships of the opposite sex. For me, many (NOT all) of my male friends had liked me at some point for example and I even had to end some friendships because they wanted more than I could offer.

So this brings me back to my point, how fair or wise would it be to make new friends of the opposite sex once you're in a committed relationship? It's not even just about trust (even though I do believe in trust but not blind trust) but the fact that no relationship is perfect and during difficult relationship moments it could become easy for some think that the grass is greener on the other side and even if they don't act out on it, cheating isn't always sexual. Keeping friends you already knew is one thing, but making new ones seems kind of sus... I don't know 🤷‍♀️

But I'm open to different opinions, even if I don't share them. How do you see it?

I have two friends: both are 40, have chosen the single life for years. One is a guy, he was friends with a girl in her early 30’s for a year and dated her casually for a year before he finally decided she was the one and asked her to be his girlfriend. After one year of seriously dating, he proposed marriage at Christmas. They married two months later. He’s a guy, we’ll call him Ryan. Him taking his time is fine.

The other friend is a woman (we’ll call her Tara), she’s been “seeing” a guy (also 40) for at least 9 months. They haven’t labeled it yet, every time I ask her when she’s labeling the relationship she always says “we’re taking our time with it, keeping it casual and just being friends first”. I love Tara, but she’s out of her freakin mind. I demanded my boyfriend to define the relationship after 5 months. Tara does want this guy, but she just lives in her own little shell and won’t demand what she wants. She just sits back lets things happen and says she wants him to define it in his own time (I told her drop his ass if he doesn’t define it at the end of this month).

It’s fine that Ryan took his time. He’s a guy and it’s more socially accepted for him to put off relationships and marriage. For women I don’t understand it though. I feel like when we go that route, we get used, we get our time wasted and we get hurt. I think Tara is making a huge mistake, but my boyfriend says she’s not. What if she defines the relationship and then decides she doesn’t like him after all (that’s his logic). Maybe because I’m also dying to matchmake her and there’s a friend of my bf’s who I want her to meet (because he’s dying to date her and I think they’re perfect for each other).

“”The best way to say sorry is not to say sorry at all, unless you have done something intentional and you felt wrong and guilty about it. See, people your apologize are precious to you. Your value is affected by saying sorry or apologizing to people. So unless you do something wrong INTENSIONALLY and feel bad about it do not say sorry. Make your apology creditable..

Now what do I say instead of saying sorry? Or what do I do to make it up to someone who you have disappointed?

See, first of all you are not the one who disappointed them, it's just that they expected something out of you and they got disappointed..
It isn't wrong to expect something out of someone either.
SO THIS IS WHAT YOU DO.
Rather than saying "SORRY", say "THANK YOU". Appreciate them for what they have done for you. Understood?
Say, you are late to meet someone for about an hour, and they waited for you for an hour. Don't go and say "I am so sorry for being late, sorry but there was traffic." Say "oh I am so late, thank you for being so patient and for waiting for me, traffic was terrible today."
Another
Say, you have disappointed some one, say you fail to do something. You don't go and say "Sorry, I couldn't do it, sorry for disappointing you, I hope to do better next time." The other person won't appreciate your apologize. But, if you say something like. "Thanks for keeping your hope on me all this time, I know I couldn't do what you wanted but next time I will try my best."
Guy try it it's like magic.
The power of a thankyou is amazing.

Remember
Don't say sorry, say thank you. “”