I'm writing this as a catharsis but I'm also I'm hoping that it will be helpful for someone. Life is so very hard and sometimes we get hard on ourselves as well and we tend to forget or we live our lives unaware of certain life lessons and life truths. So on this my take I'll be writing about some of the life lessons and the truths of life that I feel are helpful to know or revert back to.
Lesson 1: No body is an expert on living life.
Growing up I thought that adults knew what they were doing and that they were experts on life but as I became an adult myself and I looked around me I've come to discover that none of us are experts on life the truth of the matter is that no one is sure of what they're doing in this life. We are all doing our best to try and make the best of whatever little time we have left on this world. So be very careful who you take advice from and what kind of advice you choose to except.
Lesson 2: You are the main character in your own life.
As humans we are all experts of ourselves because we spend the most time with our own thoughts and feelings. Moreover, we have so much control our ourselves, we can choose what to wear or what to do or what to think about, or where to go, what to eat, etc.
So that basically means that everyone is the main character in their own lives and that your life is yours to live as you please. Therefore, you have every right to do whatever the heck you want with your own life, you have freewill for a reason. (Even so, actions do have consequences and it is important to remember and consider that fact before exercising your freewill, you probably know this fact already so I'm saying it just for the sake of saying it).
Lesson 3: Be careful which labels you choose to wear.
We live in an everchanging, ever evolving world and because we are such a highly adaptive species we ourselves are ever changing, ever evolving people. I mean if you really think about it we're a baby one day an adult the next, in love one day out of love the other, happy one minute neutral the other, in a relationship 1 year broken up the next year, here today gone tomorrow (I'll stop now I think you get my point). We change so much as we live in this world that it may be unhelpful for us to label ourselves because then we stick to those labels and those labels may prevent us from changing.
For example lately, I've seen people take the MBTI test (The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) and identify with their MBTI score and label themselves as that MBTI but what if your personality changes? will you stop that from happening as a way to hold on to that MBTI score that you identified so much with?. Mine changed three times throughout the years from INFJ, ISFP to INFP.
I think this shows that we need to accept the fact that things change in life and it does not mean that it is the end of the world. If you are still alive it means that you still have a life to live despite what you went through. We all use labels to define ourselves and our roles that's perfectly fine but also try not to let those labels stifle you. Remember that labels are not fixed they can change, sometimes you can change them yourself or they will change on their own.
Lesson 4: how to deal with hate?.
Usually when people hate you it's because they are projecting their own insecurities onto you. However, that's not always the case sometimes you need to reflect and see if whether the hate comments are true are you really being rude?, are you really overweight?, are you really a lazy person?....
It hurts to listen to these things because we all want to be liked, accepted and uncriticized or judged by others but that's not a realistic expectation. We can use those mean words as motivation to change certain aspects of ourselves that we do not like or certain aspects that are harming us or those around us. We can sometimes take hate as constructive criticism but there's a catch.
You need to be very selective about what sorts of hate comments you are willing to listen to and reflect on. The hate comments that aren't true, are based off of racism, discrimination, sexism, terrorism, insults need to be ignored, you need to know that such hate comments are irrelevant to you and are not said constructively at all.
Overall, hearing hate comments and getting hate is going to give you thick skin, we live in the real world which isn't always kind instead it's rough in all aspects! so having tough skin is a useful survival technique.
You also don't have to deal with hate comments at all!, people can say them, the hateful mean things I mean they have control over their own words and actions but you can also control if whether your going to let their words or actions hurt you or not it's entirely up to you cause I mean it's literally YOUR life.
Also please stay away from and avoid people who hate you, I know it's your life an what not but geez you really don't deserve to be around your haters. If it's constructive criticism from a loved one who you see cares about you and loves you, that person loves you so you should consider keeping them in your life BUT if it's constructive criticism (disguised as a hate comment) from a person who acts and speaks like they hate you may want to consider staying away from that person, don't surround yourself with them, consider prioritizing your well-being and mental health!.
Lesson 5: Be a picky Picker.
Just a reminder that you have every right to be very picky with the kinds of people who you let into your life. I can't say this enough but this really is Your life, therefore you have every right to pick and choose who can be in it or not. You have every right to reject people if you are not into them, or accept them if you are into them. How you choose to navigate your social circle is entirely up to you.
Yes, rejection hurts but it's necessary because it directs you towards what's meant for you. So if that one person says no it means they aren't the one so you have to go out there and find the one, they're literally waiting for you to find them or they're still looking for you!. At the end of the day it's all up to you, you get to do whatever you want with your social life.
Lesson 6: Do Not Put People on a pedestal.
No one one is superior in this world we are all on an even playing field and all human life is equally highly valuable. If this were not true then why do we all poop, pee, bleed, sweat, secrete snot and die when our time comes?. Some of us love these celebrities that seem so perfect and we think they are superior to us but they are not superior to us, those celebrities are normal people like us who are trying to enjoy or make the best of whatever time they have on this world.
Not everyone has this mentally some people still believe that there is such as a thing as "being out of someone's league" which is okay everyone can believe in whatever they want but believing in "leagues" will not deter from the fact that the "out of someone's league" person poops, pees, produces snots, bleeds, and will totally die when their time comes just like all of us.
Lesson 7: Your face and body is priceless.
Just a brief history: Humanity used to live in Africa and then they immigrated to other parts of the world, the weather conditions in those other parts of the world were harsh, so our ancestors bodies and faces evolved to suit the weather conditions of those regions in order to enable them to survive.
So the shape of your eyes, nose, your skin tone, hair texture, height, body type etc., are hereditary traits that helped your ancestors survive in the regions that they migrated to or remained in so that you could be in existence today!. Therefore if you are going to get plastic surgery to change your perfectly fine face and body just know that you are tempering with ancestral heirlooms (in a way).
Take this as me telling you the backstory of your looks because the surgeon won't do it because they're scared that you hearing this fact may make you change your mind about wanting to get plastic surgery. At the end of the day though if you do get plastic surgery or if you have gotten plastic surgery you are living your life as you please so my words should not even matter to you at all because literally it's Your Life, you're the main character in it not me.
Lesson 8: Use your Gifts.
Yes no one is superior in this world but we are all equally special so everyone has a gift. By gift I mean talents, things you are good at, it can be anything e.g. singing, building, speaking, math, sciences, chess, fashion, art, mentoring, teaching, cooking, farming, etc. It would be useful to use that gift you have let it help you make career choices in life, you can even make a side hustle out of your gift. The most important thing is you definitely can use your gift if you want to but you don't have to. At the end of the day it's your life, you get to choose how to live it and what to do with it.
Disclaimer:
I'm sorry if i came off as harsh or rude on this my take, if I have triggered you at any point I'm sorry. I had the best intentions when writing this, I did not mean to cause any harm onto any body.
This year on August I will turn 24 so I want to wish everyone a happy birthday for when your birthday arrives and a happy belated birthday if it's already passed! 🥳 May you have a beautiful 2024 further!. Thank you so much for reading ❤️.
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