Do unmarried people realize they will likely end up in a nursing home?

[Anonymous]

I'm a nurse. I just feel the need to warn you all. Many of you, will end up at a nursing home by the time you hit your late 60s-80s. Chronic diseases are rising, like never before. Advances in medicine / technology is keeping you alive. People are sicker than ever before but they're not dying due to the medications/technologies.

Therefore, at some point, you will lose the ability to care for yourself. If you have no immediate family to care for you at home, you will be sent to a nursing home. And you all know what happens in nursing homes... you will be emotionally / physically mistreated, neglected. Once you enter a nursing home, you will never ever get better or improve or get out. Your heath will only worsen. You are just waiting to die.

I just feel the need to warn the young adults who think that they don't need marriage or family to be there for you. At some point, your parents will die. Your siblings will get married, move away and would be too busy taking care of their own kids to run over to your bedside every night.

I even advise investors to invest into nursing homes because they will be BOOMING business within the next 20-30 years.

At some point, your days having hot sex, going on hot dates will be over. You will be in pain, and struggling to take care of yourself, realizing that nobody cares for you or loves you.

[slatyb]

I won't. I will commit suicide by one method or another, preferably chemically.

[Danny_dan92]

I’ll just pop a hole in my skull once I’m too old to do much

[ohsheeT]

No matter who you are, no matter if you're married or single divorced.
No matter if you're Republican for a Democrat, no matter if you walk with the limp, weird glasses voted for Trump, believe in God like bacon-and-eggs.

The odds are you're either gonna take care of yourself. Or you're not you're either gonna live with a loved one or a child. Someone in your family or go to a nursing home until the day you finally pass. There's no way out of it

So be good to your kids

Otherwise you're gonna have some rude teenager or other rude person who doesn't give a s***You're gonna treat you the way they want to treat you because you cannot do anything about it when you're older

[Asker]

one day, you will realize you can't take care of yourself and that you will NEED someone to care for you.

Don't just assume you will always be able to care for yourself.

if there is no one there to care for you, you will be sent to a nursing home.

Especially when we are becoming increasingly unhealthy as time goes on. Chronic disease being on the rise.

[Asker]

And as someone who works in home care... the vast majority of patients who don't get sent to the nursing homes and instead get to be taken care of at home, are elderly patients who are married or with family.

Its not only being physically taken care of. When you are in so much pain, anxiety, discomfort for so long.. you need love, reassurance, affection. You need to know that "at least someone cares about me". Imagine a life where you can no longer go out and see your friends any time you want. You're stuck at home 95% of the time since its so hard to get out of bed or walk.

[Asker]

I have worked with a lot of the elderly in their 70s and 80s who are with chronic illnesses, receiving surgeries, where their spouses have passed away years ago. They cry in tears of joy whenever their children visit them.

When you are in so much pain and suffering, it would mean the world to you, to know that at least someone cares.

This is hard to understand when you are not suffering, not in pain, able bodied, having hot sex. But trust me when I say, you really are better having someone by your side in your last years

[ohsheeT]

I agree 100 % that's why I was saying be good to your kids.

I moved out of my mom's house when I was 16 1/2. We had an ok relationship ship, but she never knew who i truly was. 5 years ago he was living with my sister and she called me 1 day and asked me if I could come pick her up. I asked her why she told me. Just please come pick me up

Long story short? I picked her up. She wanted me to help her find a place to live. I asked her why she told I should. Agree, you need a place to live on your can't live on your own. So you're gonna have to live with me
I knew that was the end of my life and lifestyle l o l but it had to be cannot live with my sister and nephew anymore. So for the last 4 years of her life, I tried to make them as comfortable and as happy as she could possibly be. She had alzheimer's dementia

3 years into taking care of her. I had to stop working and and in the last 18 months of her life, I didn't know what I was gonna do. It was the hardest job I've ever had in my life.
So yes, well, you're young. Work your butts off to make money in case you don't have somebody to take care of you.
The people that you take care of I would say. I'm pretty lucky you sound like you have a good heart. Some older people don't have it that good.

They go into homes and they are abused. I told my mom that I would never let her go to Home. First of all, I didn't want. Heard they're alone and not knowing anybody. And then I could just imagine how she would be treabecause you couldn't function like a real human been and I think many elderly people get abused and that's wrong, totally wrong.

So if you're reading this, you're a younger. Your parents are getting older. Start preparing yourself to make it comfortable for your mother to move in with you. You might not want that but it's the way it's gonna have to be if you have a heart anyway

[ohsheeT]

I didn't prepare myself. I thought I had money enough money to do what I wanted when I retired and everything but I didn't, I was not for everything that took place. So save your money, do it right?

I could have got paid for taking care of my mother but I didn't know that at the time I asked people to help I had no help from my sister or for my brother

I think God because I just about lost everything somehow after she passed. I just went straight to work and I did not stop because I was not going to lose my house or anything else but it was tough. Its hard is stressful. I didn't eat for about 3 weeks. Ll

[ohsheeT]

And buy the way you are a good person. You are a special person because it takes somebody with a lot of patience to do what you

[ohsheeT]

One of these days i'll be calling you. I'll need your help l. O l

[WindAtMyBack]

This has little to do with being married or single. If you need a caretaker, even if you have a spouse, very likely they will be too old to do much any way. It's not like 80 year olds can pick someone up and put them in bed or on the toilet. It's not like they have the energy to be constantly taking care of someone either.

From what I've seen, more than half of old people stay at home until the day they die. They are also fully aware that if they live alone, they could end up being incapable of calling for help if they really need it. That means they could die from dehydration which isn't a fun way to go. It could mean they end up decomposing before anyone finds them.

I'm not that old, but I'm concerned about it myself.

"you all know what happens in nursing homes... you will be emotionally / physically mistreated, neglected"

Bullshit. I won't claim that literally never happens, but It's far from the norm.

[Asker]

Hospitals will not discharge you to go home if they know you can't take care of yourself at home. They will send you to a nursing home.

And as someone who works in home care... the vast majority of patients who don't get sent to the nursing homes and instead get to be taken care of at home, are elderly patients who are married or with family.

Yes, you are better off having an 80 yr old spouse care for you than being abused at a nursing home. I have worked with 70-80 yr old spouse, trust me, it makes helluva difference.

You won't get home care services (nurses sent to your home), unless you have immediate family member at home who is willing to help cover shifts where no nurse will show up.

Its not only being physically taken care of. When you are in so much pain, anxiety, discomfort for so long.. you need love, reassurance, affection. You need to know that "at least someone cares about me". Imagine a life where you can no longer go out and see your friends any time you want. You're stuck at home 95% of the time since its so hard to get out of bed or walk.

so this is just a warning to all your proud singles... be aware of what is coming. Especially when people are getting more unhealthy than ever before.

[Asker]

[Bullshit. I won't claim that literally never happens, but It's far from the norm.]

you're talking to a nurse who has worked in nursing homes and home care...

[Asker]

I have worked with a lot of the elderly in their 70s and 80s who are with chronic illnesses, receiving surgeries, where their spouses have passed away years ago. They cry in tears of joy whenever their children visit them.

When you are in so much pain and suffering, it would mean the world to you, to know that at least someone cares.

This is hard to understand when you are not suffering, not in pain, able bodied, having hot sex. But trust me when I say, you really are better having someone by your side in your last years

[SueShe]

I do disagree with your general statement.

While marriage has lost all or most its attractiveness, you can still live with your partner for 60+ years and you may not have to be lonely in a nursing home.

I do see a lot of elderly people just vegetating in a seat from early morning till late in the evening even though they have a family. Those elderly people are the forgotten ones from their children. If they get a visit once a month, then it is a lot.

The parents have donated their wealth to the children and now, they have lost interest in visiting them, not to mention to take those lonely parents and integrate them into their family.

[Asker]

Marriage is not a guarantee that you won't end up in a nursing home.

But it's one of the factors that will DECREASE your likelihood of ending up in a nursing home.

Having children is another factor that DECREASES the emotional isolation/ pain of suffering from illness.

The elderly you see today are in much better shape than you will be, by the time you reach their age.
People are getting increasingly unhealthy.
The old people you see now are doing far better than you will be, by the time you reach their age.

[Asker]

You can disagree with me all you want.

But I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you are single. You will 100% be transported to a nursing home once you cannot adequately take care of yourself. And the likelihood if this happening is very HIGH due to the reality that people are unhealthier than ever before

[D_Bone_Steak]

I plan on killing myself when the fun ends... I'm only in my 40's so I have about 340 years left... because I'm a vampire with big hair... Somehow, I beat out the werewolves and I'm sure it has nothing to do with my money from nowhere getting me all the mid pussy. Anyways... how about that mid pussy, am I rite, guys?

Anyways... do you suck an old guy off once in a while? I'll buy you some Cracker Barrel and promise to make you a vampire, but just selling you that dream because I just want tons of pussy.

[PeachyPie93]

Yo if you turn me into a vampire I will suck your aids riddled dick bro..

[D_Bone_Steak]

@PeachyPie93 Deal. lolz

[PeachyPie93]

Awesome! lol

[CherryLove007]

Understood.

Plan way ahead and keep your legs and balance strong. Invest right.

No guarantee that the person you marry or live with will not abuse you in your elder years. The nursing homes are bad with abuse too.

Life is a box of chocolates...

[Asker]

You're lying to yourself if you think your spouse is more likely to abuse you than the nursing home will abuse you

Learn to maintain healthy relationships and nobody will abuse you.

[CherryLove007]

wait how can I spouse take care of you if they are also doomed with the same fate,,, old, sick and almost dead >>>?

[Asker]

As a home care nurse, the only elderly patients that are able to avoid nursing homes are the ones with spouses and children. The grown children see how mistreated their parents get at these nursing homes and decide to take them back to their personal home where they can get real care.

If you are single and all alone. Nobody gives a shit about you. Your chances being tortured at a nursing home is a definite 100% chance, once you can't adequately take care of yourself

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

Its all about chances and likelihood.

Your chances of having a miserable lonely death is much much higher if you are unmarried and without children. Nobody loves you and nobody misses you and nobody cares about you

[Asker]

The reason why people see marriage as toxic, romance as a "who can mistreat each other more" is because people dont understand the end of of marriage which is the fact that you WILL NEED EACH OTHER at some point. There is no security in life constantly having no one being there for you, especially when you need it the most

Marriage is much more than just about excitement and hot sex. Its about having someone there to be there for you. Facing lifes terrible challenges all alone will just make life much harder. There is no security to a life facing lifes obstacles all alone. If you get fired from your job, who will help you with the bills as you try to look for a new job?

If you get terribly ill, who will care for you?

Suffer on your own

[CherryLove007]

It is still miserable being old with or without children. My great Aunt lived until 94 in no nursing home no kids and widowed.
I take care of my mom and I see what I need to do to keep myself independent. She is not doing daily strength exercises but I am there coaching her daily and she is coming around now.

I don't need a nurse to coach me on common sense. I have willpower to keep my body strong for my older years... I do not see any of my family doing the same.

[Asker]

The elderly you see today are in much better shape than you will be, by the time you reach their age.
People are getting increasingly unhealthy. Chronic diseases are on the RISE. Your generation is unlike your grandmother's generation. They ate better food, exercised more, didn't grow up with smartphones ruining their circadian rhythm.

The old people you see now are doing far better than you will be, by the time you reach their age.

[Asker]

People also had way better social connections and social circles back then, which may be another reason why they would lead longer lives than people today. Today people are lonely. Loneliness has become a huge pandemic

[CherryLove007]

you know squat
the elderly are using smart phones my mom is 78 using a phone

what are you doing on here
I exercised today and will every day for the rest of my life
I also don't eat garbage. I know how to eat and I the exact opposite of the sick... lol
My doctor told me I am aging backwards and I am 53.

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

You haven't studied the impacts smartphones have on circadian rhythm. You haven't studied the importance of circadian rhythm on health. You haven't studied how the quality of our food has fell drastically over the past 50 years. You haven't studied how social isolation and loneliness can impact your health

You're not informed enough to make any accusations

[Asker]

Your mother is lucky enough to have you. By the time you are 78, you will have no one

[CherryLove007]

Exactly wrong to assume I haven't done the research because I have so.. everyone around me asks me for help because I studied the impact of all you mention.

I don't live alone for that reason and I won't live alone.
I know the impact of food and studied nutrition for 20 years. I don't even eat the SAD diet. I could coach you on food choices... I don't eat fucking dead animal meat that I am not designed to eat because I don't have claws aka knives on my hand and feet... WE ARE NOT PREDATORS I am thriving and not decaying... my doctors for years says whateve3r you are doing to stay so healthy is working and don't change a thing because i am the most healthy of his young and older patients... you must check yourself before you assume anything... it will make an ass of you.

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

thriving at 53, doesn't necessarily mean you will be thriving by 73. Thriving at 73, does not necessarily mean you will be thriving by 83.

And I think you're just crying out in worry, desperation, fear right now for mistakes you made while you were younger in life.

Even if you do end up being in good health, the loneliness, lack of love, true care and affection will make your older years very rough.

[CherryLove007]

If you salivate when an animal walks past or runs past you and you think your a predator then go ahead and chase it and kill it and crunch its bones and eat it with hair and tendons and feces over it then and also film it for you tube... eat the way our body was designed and sickness will end. Let food be thy medicine. You are what you eat.

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

I work with patients from all ages from mid 60s to 100 years old.

I recently worked with an 89 yr old man who ran marathons till he was 65. He just came home from surgery; he had both his kidneys taken out and was in a lot of pain. His emotional isolation just makes everything worse. His son is the only person in his life who cares about him and can offer him any sort of love or warmth or support. He talks about how hard it is to continue living and told me that he wishes he were dead.

I also just came out of working with another client who is 80. She was a lifetime opera singer. She acted and sung until the age of 70. She recently came out of surgery, suffering from pain, severe insomnia. She told me that her grandchildren cook for her, offer her all sorts of love and support.

I told her "a lot of people don't get that love and support."

She replied "yes. I don't know how these people do it!!! I can't imagine going through all of this without my husband's care and my grandchildren's love"

[Asker]

Now, I'm not saying that you will 100% definitely end up turning out like these people. But don't get too confident or arrogant about how you will end up later on in life. Things happen when you least expect it. And don't underestimate how much having a family can do for you, physically and emotionally.

[CherryLove007]

of course you DONT know
you will have problems like any one of us and face the same pitfalls later on
I am a warrior from birth til death

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

the mature thing to do is to accept the truth and reality rather than to childishly argue against it. Being in denial and arguing with it makes you look like an immature teenager rather than a respectable mature woman your age

[CherryLove007]

I have a must read for women called
Younger Next Year for Women (turn back your biological clock) by Chris Crowley & Henry S Lodge, MD
Instead of preaching and scaring people I plan on giving the tools to get well and stay well.

[CherryLove007]

can't even show a picture of yourself and calling others immature.

[CherryLove007]

Hiding like a child

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

maturity doesn't necessarily come with age, holds very true for you.

you have no idea how much you are embarrassing yourself.

[CherryLove007]

Well you can't read even what I write and respond accordingly.

You need a new profession because you cannot even respect your elders.

[CherryLove007]

maturity doesn't necessarily come with age, holds very true for you unknown young lady

you have no idea how much you are embarrassing yourself

[Asker]

@cherrylove007

have a good night! ma'am.

I'm not gonna engage in this childish immature argument with you.

[CherryLove007]

You failed
Mission incomplete

[Speaking_Frankly]

Yes, I probably will. I will also talk to the grandmother or grandfather whose children and grandchildren don't visit them as they become a burden to them, cluttering up their home.
We can play this game with the same energy.

[Asker]

As a home care nurse, the only elderly patients that are able to avoid nursing homes are the ones with spouses and children. The grown children see how mistreated their parents get at these nursing homes and decide to take them back to their personal home where they can get real care.

[Asker]

Marriage is not a guarantee that you won't end up in a nursing home.

But it's one of the factors that will DECREASE your likelihood of ending up in a nursing home.

Having children is another factor that DECREASES the emotional isolation/ pain of suffering from illness.

The elderly you see today are in much better shape than you will be, by the time you reach their age.
People are getting increasingly unhealthy.
The old people you see now are doing far better than you will be, by the time you reach their age.

[Asker]

Its all about chances and likelihood.

Your chances of having a miserable lonely death is much much higher if you are unmarried and without children. Nobody loves you and nobody misses you and nobody cares about you

[Speaking_Frankly]

Only the miserable and lonely would pre-occupy themselves with saying such a word salad. Do try harder, my dear. Your projection couldn't be more obvious. I challenge you to share this post with your employer.

[Asker]

@speaking_frankly

thats how I know I'm scaring you.

when speaking the truth is called "projection"

its working

[Speaking_Frankly]

Hahaha! Someone needs to lay off the cracks pipe

[Asker]

face the truth like a man, not like a immature teenager

[Speaking_Frankly]

I face the truth. You push delusions of grandeur of yourself. How about removing your anonymity if you're going to push these narratives of truth and honesty that ultimately show sanctimony on your part?

[Anonymous]

And in this day and age if you're married you're STILL likely to end up in a nursing home alone. There's really only two people you can depend on, 1. Yourself 2. God.

And I've been in a nursing home before. Yeah, that 💩 was scary. The people are VERY overworked. The good news is I'm pretty certain I'm not going to live very long. So, it's doubtful I'll ever go back.👍

[Asker]

As a home care nurse, the only elderly patients that are able to avoid nursing homes are the ones with spouses and children. The grown children see how mistreated their parents get at these nursing homes and decide to take them back to their personal home where they can get real care.

[Asker]

I have worked with a lot of the elderly in their 70s and 80s who are with chronic illnesses, receiving surgeries, where their spouses have passed away years ago. They cry in tears of joy whenever their children visit them.

When you are in so much pain and suffering, it would mean the world to you, to know that at least someone cares.

This is hard to understand when you are not suffering, not in pain, able bodied, having hot sex. But trust me when I say, you really are better having someone by your side in your last years

[Anonymous]

Well, I have MS & I smoke like a chimney, so personally, I'm not planning on living much past my 50's, anyway, assuming I even make it that long.

[AngryCarl2]

I understand your concerns but it won't affect me because I enjoy alcohol and I'm averse to doctors and prescriptions.

[Asker]

alcohol will probably get you sicker and increase your chances of bad health hence upping your chances of eventually getting into a nursing home. Its better to be dead than to spend your remaining years at a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

I already know all of this and you're assuming i live long enough to see that which how bad my health is I'm not even sure that will happen

[Asker]

you can be never "too sure" of anything. Just because you are in good health at 55, it does not mean you will be in good heath by 75. I have seen people run marathons up until 65. Who end up in severe pain and isolation by 89.

[Opinion Owner]

Well good thing I'm not 55

[Anonymous]

As someone who can’t have kids , Christ this is depressing

[Asker]

You can get married. Have a spouse by your side who can take care of you.

Having a spouse or children will not guarantee that you won't ever end up in a nursing home. But it certainly will decrease your chances of ending up in one.

[Opinion Owner]

True and if he goes before me that would be bad

[Asker]

@opinionowner

I think life is a lot easier when you know someone will always be there for you instead of facing all of lifes terrible challanges alone

Spending the remaining 8 years of your life struggling, old and alone is better than spending the remaining 20 years of your life dying lonely and neglected

As a home care nurse, the only elderly patients that are able to avoid nursing homes are the ones with spouses and children. The grown children see how mistreated their parents get at these nursing homes and decide to take them back to their personal home where they can get real care.

[Asker]

I have worked with a lot of the elderly in their 70s and 80s who are with chronic illnesses, receiving surgeries, where their spouses have passed away years ago. They cry in tears of joy whenever their children visit them.

When you are in so much pain and suffering, it would mean the world to you, to know that at least someone cares.

This is hard to understand when you are not suffering, not in pain, able bodied, having hot sex. But trust me when I say, you really are better having someone by your side in your last years

[Opinion Owner]

Having hot sex?🤣

[zagor]

Um same for married people.

[Asker]

no. I'm just letting you know what will likely happen to you by the time you get old.

[CherryLove007]

Debbie's BACKKKK

AI technology will be running the show in the future.

[Asker]

@CherryLove007

it won't mean you won't be in pain or isolation.

[Asker]

@CherryLove007

or the fact nobody gives a shit about you

[CherryLove007]

Debbie's back hahahahaha RUN

because she's a nurse run or tip toe away from this unreal bot

[Asker]

@CherryLove007

I don't think AI robots will come out in your lifetime though since you are already in your 50s.

[zagor]

Yeah much better to have a wife who takes you for everything you own while you're still alive.