Is it normal that more and more people in their 20s and almost 30s continue living with their parents?

Question

I noticed that moving out became more and more difficult in the 21st century... When moving out with 18 was so easy now you're lucky if you make it at 24/26.  Me and my SO moved out from our parents and into our appartment when we where around 26 years old... I'm very proud to say that we managed to do it alone without our families help. YET, I ask myself, wtf is going on? Why did moving out become so difficult today? Especially when you're single, I have friends that are in their 30s and still live with their mom because they are single and can't afford to rent a flat alone... I think it also depends from country to country, in italy, it's almost impossible to move out and make it on your own when you're single.  Unless you live in abandoned cities and countrysides.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Due to a mix of social, behavioural, and economic issues, all converging at the same time.
Some of the reasons:

1. It's cultural in some areas - adult children live with their parents until they get married. And then even in some of those cases, they will still live with their parents!
2. Cost of university education in North America has skyrocketed. Once student loans were created, it gave the illusion (to some) that the debt was not such a big deal. But the total cost of education is significantly higher now than ever before.
3. There are trophy schools in America, which are, if graduated from, more likely (but not guaranteed) to result in better paying jobs. But they cost a small fortune to attend.
4. 2008 Recession decimated pensions, and job prospects, for several years.
5. Standards of living are the highest they've ever been, but many people are not happy with what they have. This is relative luxury compared to human history, but with the way people want to live, they feel like they don't have enough to go out on their own. They wouldn't be able to buy these luxuries and do frivolous spending.
6. Work ethic with young people anecdotally (by employers, parents, and older people) appears to be down. There's a lot of talk of entitlement. Few people are willing to start at the bottom and work their way up. They also tend not to stay in their jobs beyond 2 years. They want the company to be loyal to them, rather than they be loyal to the company.
7. Many people want to go from living with their parents, to immediately buying a property. And they want it to be better, more updated and modern, than the home their parents worked a lifetime to afford.
8. More lax parenting methods have created a generation who has the most free time in history. And when they're not goofing around on the internet, they're not building their education or career. If the parent allows it, they simply stay.
9. Some jobs are disappearing, and being replaced by automation. That means simple, low-skill jobs are fewer, and people don't have the training to be skilled at the more complex jobs that are remaining.
10. You can't make a decent living doing basic work anymore. A middle-class lifestyle is now a Developer/Programmer. And that takes training, which many don't have the capability to drive to accomplish.
11. Global marketplace means the job market is even more competitive. People can/will move from other countries to fill positions, which leaves fewer jobs for the local citizens. If they are not as good, or not willing to work for that price, they are overlooked.
12. The middle class has been squeezed and shrunk almost out of existence. Politicians have too-often catered to the wealthy, because they help keep them in office. The middle class has long borne the brunt of economic debt. Many people working F/T can do little more than just barely stay afloat.

hannahjo022 · Accepted Answer

Yes it is usual now for 20's and 30's year old's living with parents. Rent has increase a lot over the years and its going to get higher now. Its going to get worst for people who work minimum wage jobs not making enough money to afford rent since rent prices are increasing. Another reason is college graduates having a hard time finding a job and they are in student debt. What is Biden doing about this? Nothing! Thought democratic's help low and working class income people? He is not doing a good job it seems. He also tried to cut student debt for people still paying their loans which that is not going to work out since banks want their money back.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Here's why: in the past, overwhelmingly, people moved out of their parents' homes and into a new place with their spouse/SO. Single people living alone was very much the exception to the rule, and even if there was only one outside income (typically the man's), the woman was able to make his life more comfortable and take care of household issues, which allowed him to work more hours or more strenuous or stressful jobs that made more money. Housing has ALWAYS been expensive, but because most people were couples, it was easier to manage the cost.

Today, less than half of people in the US are married, and while some unmarried people are also coupled up, there are so many single people living alone that the demand for housing has nearly doubled - but there's not nearly that much housing available, despite constant construction. Moreover, people have very high expectations today and don't want to settle. You can still find houses and apartments built in the 1960s pretty easily today, and if you go inside one, you'll notice that they were SMALL, had little storage, and tiny kitchens and bathrooms with very simple features. Today, people want much bigger places with much more high-end appointments - and then complain that the housing is so expensive.

Still, the biggest factor is the huge increase in single people wanting to live alone. In the past, people knew that this wasn't practical, even if it was possible, because you would have to spend nearly every penny you earned to keep the place, and you would have nothing left to have a life with, much less save for your retirement. Today, lots of people prioritize living alone, and so they don't have money to "live" - or time, because they can't afford to take time off - and they certainly aren't saving for their retirement, which means they're likely to be homeless, or living in nightmarish, underfunded state-run facilities when they are too old to work.

This also means that people with lower incomes are going to be priced out of housing entirely, and can't afford to move out, and this has been happening in increasing numbers for the last 30 or so years, starting with my generation (Gen X) and now with Millennials. It's another side effect of Radical Feminism pushing women to prioritize careers over husbands and families - if women choose careers, they're far more likely to be single, and thus, the need for housing grows, and the costs of housing goes up.

Lost_in_the_Woods · Accepted Answer

My counselor (probably about 60) grew up in NYC, made minimum wage, paid for his own apartment without roommates and rode a Ducati.

He laughed and told me that isn't possible anymore.

The rich have built a system designed to force young people into a lifetime of slavery, working for less than the cost of living means you can never afford the tools to support yourself so you have no choice but to keep treading water until the day you die.

Capitalism is good, but most of our parents and grandparents let the big companies pull the wool over their eyes while they burned the bridge between poverty and success and left the kids behind to be slaves.

That's why the rich are getting richer than ever faster than ever, and the middle class is pretty much already gone.

It's economic and political entrenchment.

My plan is to build houses out of shipping trailers that I can finance out to other young people for the same or less than renting a shitty apparent. Two years, and it's paid off so you can take your rent money straight to the bank and invest in yourself.

But, the government hates that idea so much they have literally sent the cops to drag me out of my house without paperwork. The officers admitted on video that they literally didn't know why they were doing it. They took my job, threw me out of school without giving me a reason, denied me unemployment AFTER I got the approval letter, and put me on probation for a year for a trumped up disorderly conduct charge I'm not even convicted of. (It's scheduled for dismissal)

There is an enormously powerful effort to keep the poor poor so they have to work to stay in debt. It's modern day slavery. They don't care about racism, they just use it to distract and divide people so they don't see what's really going on.

But hey, our generation has a philosophy we learned from playing GameCube games. "When you run into enemies, you know you are going the right way. And when they start to get tough, you know you are getting close to the goal"

I have designed a way out that works. They know that, so they are doing everything they can to take my tools and stop me from building it. But hey, jokes on them, they give me no choice but to persist, so that's what I'm going to do.

Finchie40 · Answer

I wouldn’t consider it normal but the way the economy is today and the cost of things has risen , most people don’t really have a choice, so being that age and still living with their parents isn’t the worst thing but it also isn’t the best thing , if they are working to save and get on their own feet , then I don’t see a problem with it But if they are barely working and relying on their parents to take care of them then I would consider them a piece of shit mooch. My ex and I had to move in with her Mom when times got tough and I am grateful her Mom allowed us to do that until we got back on our feet but it was hard living with her Mom cuz I didn’t feel I had my privacy so my goal was to work my ass off and get out of her house as fast as possible , which I did , but if I sat around her house barely working I would of felt like a piece of shit knowing I was mooching off her , so for her Mom letting us stay there I helped her Mom by paying most of her bills I worked 2 jobs to do that and save , my ex barely wanted to work and I would be pissed at her for being lazy , so if your partner is just sitting around and barely working , I would really reconsider that relationship Cuz being with someone like that just shows what kind of future you will have with that person , The problem with today’s world is most people do not want to work and try to find ways to mooch off of each other , and rely on other’s to take care of them , I am totally against it considering I have been a hard worker ever since I was 13 years old , so finding a girl that is independent and works is a huge turn on to me , Girl’s that look to be taken care of are worthless to me , You should be a team when you are in a relationship with someone not mooch off of them , people that mooch are only going to make you further in debt and will get you no where , someone that works together with you will pay off in the long run is the way I look at it , I don’t like working at times but I do it cuz I like living comfortable and knowing my bills are paid and have money in my pocket and being content , I am not going to be able to work forever , there will come a time I am old and won’t have the energy to do so , so I don’t want to depend on someone else to take care of me when I am capable of taking care of myself.

Rangers · Answer

It's becoming more normal as we still haven't recovered from the housing crisis, while it got much better under Trump, with the virus and a mentally incompetent old man in the white house, it's getting exponentially worse. Prices are skyrocketing, availability of homes or apartments for rent is at an all time low, prices for gas, plane tickets, food, ammo, guns, cars, raw materials for homesteading, and more at at ann all time high while supply is likewise at an all time low. Worse, still are the unemployment rates and national debt spiking as Biden continues to law out plans to keep spending money we don't have so he can justify raising our taxes only to increase the salaries of government workers. Some senators have taken initiative against this, but with a Democrat controlled presidency, house, senate, and Supreme Court, there is little hope to fix any of these issues.
For all of these reasons, I along with millions of other people my age are currently unable to afford moving into their own place, but hopefully if and when I pass the police academy after hopefully being accepted, the chances that I'll be able to move out will be increased through the amount of money I'd be making being more than double what I make now.

Explorer91 · Answer

I wouldn’t say normal.
i used to think it was cost of living when I was younger,
but now I realised it’s people either not consistently working - working/ taking time off in alteration so can’t afford to pay their lifestyle so move back home.
or they are wanting to live a lifestyle they cannot afford. So can’t move or stay out of home. Claiming it’s too expensive but really not grasping the concept that the social media trends are really for traditional millionaire lifestyle and not sustainable for average people.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Yes. Quality of life at your parents is usually much much higher than you'd get from an entry level or minimum wage job. Even if you sorta disagree with your parents, having your own 'space' is a thing that most people won't give up just to prove independence.

When I moved out at 18, making $12 an hour, I was splitting a bedroom for $450 dollars a month to live in the city center.

I cooked at home and went vegetarian for 2-3 years until I had a stable full time job w/ bennies making $17 an hour at 21. I was able to afford my own room in a shared apartment.

I see why a lot of my richer friends skipped that step.

Riebeck · Answer

50 years ago when it was moreso men working, his full time job could support his ENTIRE FAMILY as well as paying off house/car/etc.

Today one full time job can barely support ONE PERSON. And minimum wage only supports a bare minimum life with nothing leftover. Inflation is at a tipping point.

Landlords have also increasingly become assholes and discriminate against young single people. Getting a place to live has now become the same as getting a job. They will scrutinize your life, and you're against 10 other people with more experience than you.

And just like a job, getting a place will also be easier for attractive people.

Interstate · Answer

The BIG factor is what you do with your life. If you get an early start getting a GOOD job that sustains your monthly expenses, you are in good shape. The problem with today is there are just too many Parents out there who don't encourage their kids to do what is necessary to get their lives together. They just sit back and figure whatever happens happens.

Then there are Parents who don't want them to leave because they don't want to deal with the Empty Nest Syndrome. Keep them at home, otherwise they will feel as though they were walked out on and abandoned.

THEN... there are kids who don't know where the right place to start is, so time drags out and they are still living in the attic.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm one of them and I'd say it's normal, or at least, nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 27 and live at home. I work and I'm helping my parents pay off the mortgage. They are pretty up there in age so they need my help around the house as well.

I would like to own my own home someday. I'm saving money and I view complete independency as my long term goal. Remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. Follow your own timeline and don't worry about what other people are doing.

It's also part of the reason I'm still a virgin lol. I won't feel comfortable with it until I'm completely established on my own and can have sex in the privacy of my own home. But I digress...

jshm2 · Answer

You're confused.

Money and mobility have become bigger factors in the 21st century. Previously families would have one or mainly male breadwinners. there was little reason to move form home as you would be doing the job of your dad and a girl her mothers.

Now with advanced education and job mobility being for anyone that can have it (or afford it) nearly anyone can move and work anywhere, or wherever it's easier.

For modern 20-30 year old it makes better sense to live with people that have less outgoing than you and you can just chip in with a lot more benefits. Getting "your own place" doesn't make as much financial sense.

Celtero · Answer

It's still doable, but we've really gotten fucked in the long run. Prices are up a lot as is inflation, but wages have stayed the same. The houses in my area have at least quintupled in price, if not multiplied tenfold since I was a child. I'm sure those prices translate to rent as well.

The expectation now is to have two earners, so the workforce has doubled and the value of work slashed in half.

The US loves immigrants and allowing them to come in and compete with us for housing, meanwhile, how many US citizens are moving to Mexico, China, or India to buy homes?

Sooo... pretty lame. I've kinda accepted that I will never own a home unless I move to a state where they're super cheap.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

It's because rent is so high and wages have not risen to compensate. When our parents were moving out on their own, a part time job could pay rent. My dad's first apartment was $400 a month. The first house he bought was just under $30k and the mortgage, electricity bill, water, and taxes all together were $450. Now me and him live in a two bedroom trailer where rent is $1200 a month. I can't afford to move out and he can't afford for me to move out either. Withiut me paying rent, neither of us could afford this place. That $30k house sold a few years ago for nearly $100k.
No one can afford real estate anymore. Not on $10.50/h

Sugar100 · Answer

I live alone in a studio I’m 24 almost. My parents try control me every second & it’s nightmare living with them. They r divorced but still see each other daily as they r scared be alone as they no longer have children to take care of everyone is married 35 except for me. It is hard as I have a lot of expenses & I pay 1k yet have no kitchen or own bathroom it’s shared but I’m basically only one living here so the bathroom feels like my own. However the studio is very big it fits a whole house like living room office dining table pantry area bed master closet. I have a boyfriend but he lives with parents.

RealMarek · Answer

It’s called stagnant median wages combined with inflation. We keep importing people into the West, causing demand for housing to surge and suppressing the wages of employees. It’s all simple supply and demand that works in the favor of the elite and against the broader native citizenry. I have never seen anyone make a rational argument against this that doesn’t rely on average economic indices or doesn’t resort to name calling.

Lionman95 · Answer

here in Germany it´s very common to move to have a living arrangement where a group of up to six people (depending on the size of the flat), share a living arrangement. It has the advantage that you can share costs and cleaning (sometimes also cooking) and in best arrangements everyone are friends so you can share life as well together.
That way young people or low income working people can afford a flat in the bigger cities as well.

JennBITx · Answer

I moved out at 18 and bought my first house last fall. Cost of living has gone up extremely since our parents did this and the dollar used to go a lot further. I also feel like the generations factor comes into part, because everything is at their finger tips and never had to work for it. You look at generation X, Y, millennials and now. They all had different challenges and learned completely differently.

Jonny59 · Answer

first of all... I can move out for sure BUT I decided to live with my parents until I get married soo the longer im with them the longer I enjoy the TIMEEEEE TIME PEOPLE TIME its the most valuable thing in this life MONEY IS NOT A VALUABLE ASSET ITS THE TIME learn it once and forever and stop trying to fit in thisstereotype where you should move out and enjoy life like can you really enjoy life? for me life without parents is the most hurtful thing I know that we all gonna lose our parents sooner or later some might have already and they know the pain so... I don't want to have regrets when my parents are gone because that will be till I DIE and you can't bring back time even if you have millions of cash

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

That had always been an Asian thing and it spread to the west. Like really what's the use of over expanding and taking all the land when 1 house is enough for a family? No one is saying they don't contribute for the bills. It's just that with so many hectares, travels will be so long and I heard we might run out of land someday. I live alone in a small "vacation" house owned by my grandparent's from my mom's side (a place where they would stay if they visit us. They're from the country side and their real house is abandoned now but still property owned despite being dead) just close to my other grandparent's house and where my sister and my cousins (from my dad's side) also live with 5 bed rooms. So yeah there's no reason for anyone to move out unless it's really necessary like when everything is occupied.

Anonymous · Answer

Baby boomers from the 60s own 60-70% of the houses in the UK, 50% of these houses are EMPTY! Shocking right? Why? They were entitled to these house for very cheap so by 50yrs old they could afford another and then another. They don't sell or rent them out because they want to control the population. Young generations live at home with their spoilt selfish parents who do not give them a penny or help them leave home. There are so many 30yr olds who said it was a blessing that covid19 arrived. Many of the baby boomers will die early and their houses will become available.

BoobMan · Answer

So far as I can tell it's that asset prices have gone up by a lot compared to incomes. In particular, in many places the ratio of average home prices to average incomes has risen substantially over the last several decades. Probably part of that has been the price of assets like housing adjusting to the fact that more households have two earners in them (so those prices adjust up).

There's a lot more going on, but this is at least part of the story.

Chriscunning · Answer

I think the shear population grow and housing demand is what is doing no matter what country you live in. Supply and demand in all aspects make affordability of life hard.

I was lucky to stand on my own 2 feet at 25. But i know many people struggled. Even if I look at prices today. Everything is more and more expensive and middle income salaries aren't going up with inflation.

Apple1996 · Answer

It drives me crazy when I hear of people that old still living at home like grow up and get your own place! It has to be cause they are busy paying off college or something cause there are affordable places to live (at least in the US). I moved out at 18 and all of my 6 siblings moved out around 18-20 so maybe my parents prepared us well for the real world and other parents aren't doing that.

Is it normal that more and more people in their 20s and almost 30s continue living with their parents?

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