Is this true for most adult children still living with their parents?

Question

Let’s say you still stay with your parents but you’re still a responsible adult. You get up and go to work everyday. No one has to tell you to do that. You grocery shop, you shop for things you need and want. You cook. You clean. You learn from your mistakes. You can communicate effectively. You have no problem taking accountability. You get up and do things in your own without telling them etc but because you still live with your parents, regardless of all those adult things you do, they still see/treat you like a child simply because you still stay with them. Why is that? Is it because that even though you have grown and don’t think or act the way you did when you were their little girl or little boy, if you still stay with them in your late twenties or when you’re 30, none of those adult things about you matters because you still live amongst them? Moving out to most parents means “adult” even if you can’t keep up with the rent/bills. It doesn’t matter. You’re still an adult because you made the step to move out. It makes sense but at the same time it seems superficial

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

This is a really good question just for the fact that it is 100% true. I moved out of my parents house when I was 16 and a half just because of things that I didn't like with her new husband but I never went back

And then 4 years ago my mother was living with my sister and nephew something happened and she called me anyway make a long story short she moved in with me and I basically had to take care of her because she had Alzheimer's dementia.. the hardest job I've ever had in my life because of everything that has happened or that does happen with somebody like this but many cases were funny because she became the child

And raising my two kids was easier than raising her. That's weird for me to say that but it is true.. she went from 89 to 5 years old in a matter of 4 years and that was very difficult..

But before her my son had moved back in with me and he had a goals he had a plan and I said fine but no matter what no matter how old he was he still my son my little boy and you still worry about your kids no matter how old they are you never want anything to happen to them and you know in your heart that if they go out and do something that anything could happen and you kind of take that to your mind and your heart and I think for some parents they give themselves an excuse to use my house my roof do as I say

Both both my rules my kids are good kids
And that early ages if they did something stupid or wrong I wouldn't discipline them I didn't have to yell or scream make a scene I would just give them more responsibilities and that would tell me who they were becoming and how mentally focused they were on anything and everything

And by doing this they prove to me who they were at early ages when my son moved in that was a joke between me and him is I would throw it up in the air and say you're doing what if I overheard him I would say not in my house you're not doing that and we will start laughing
My kids will always be my kids I will always treat them like kids in my heart but there comes a time just like when they were younger or you have to let them go and you have to let them keep proving themselves to you by the things they say and do and if you take that away from them they resented and maybe they stopped growing so while you were at your parents house don't allow them to make you stop growing you have to keep proving yourself no matter what to yourself first but they should give you the freedom for more responsibility than taking it away from you because that's actually what they're doing when they do what they do with you and that's what you need to explain to them without getting upset or causing problems you know

There were many times where I would joke with my son just to make him remind him you know about whatever but in my heart I would have been holding him back by told him my house rules this is what you have to do because down deep j
He knows what he needs to do I don't need to remind him and if I do I'll make a little joke about it but telling him he can't do something because whatever reasons my insecurity maybe would do nothing but hold him back and I knew this and that's what I feel and I see
When I read your question you have a good heart you're good person you see everything that's going on around you you are productive and your parents can't ask for any more than that and they can't put you in time out and by putting a restriction on you and taking responsibility away from you that's what they're doing they're holding you back and you need to explain to them look you gave me a good foundation look who I am look who I become look how responsible I am you're holding me back from being more responsible and learning more things by telling me I can't do something when I'm at this age of knowing right from wrong maybe that might help I don't know all parents are different I didn't really have parents I mean I did but I didn't so I had to learn everything the hard way and there is no instructions when it comes to being a parent but you have to put yourself in your kids shoes you have to know you set a good foundation you have to know that they have morals values and ethics and you keep allowing them to grow it never stops even though in your heart they're still your babies

Danny_dan92 · Accepted Answer

Full disclosure I understand how expensive it is to be independent.

I lived with my parents doing the same thing you mentioned above until I was 29, I moved out because I always wanted to be independent and because I was constantly clashing with my father.

All this being said, if you want to be seen as an adult? Move out. Otherwise you’ll be seen as a child in the eyes of many, even if you’re also paying rent to your parents

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

I am sorry it's their house they're rules. What I can not understand at all Why on earth would a 30 year old individual still would live with mommy and daddy? I mean if your in your early 20's I understand it's hard to get an apartment when you had recently graduated college and no credit history. But at age 30 and still living of parents wallets? That is just ridiculous. I do not understand my own generation millennials. One thing I knew from very beginning not is free and nothing is handed to you. You want nice good lifestyle you gotta work hard for it. I learn that I had to be super cheap I save up as much money as possible to get to the place I am today. Back in the old days when I was a teenager I worked as a cashier at Kroger back then it was $7.25 per hour that a decade ago dealing with a Karen manager who hates my guts but still I worked hard later I work two retail jobs. I missed wedding family gatherings birthdays I lost friends because they wanted to hit the club they got nothing successful out of that trash clubs and bars 19 year old myself I was interested in becoming debt free and wealthy. So something about this situations if you don't like it living with your parents save up save up save up the more money you accumulate their more chances you have an open door to move out. I am sorry but your parents are the ones who paid for that house so it's their house their rulers. Now you are lucky at your age your parents give you chances to live with them a lot of people once they turn 18 they are done! It's out the door time to fly little bird. So make a plan make a budget be really cheap. Mommy and daddy should not be responsible for you when your an adult.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

you have it better than most if you don't have to even tell them where you're going when you leave. or the "why didn't you leave for work yet? you need to keep up your work ethic!" or that you can grocery shop on your own without feeling guilty when you get home because they'll say "hey, i needed something from the store, why didn't you tell me you were going? that was rude" or that you even have the space to put your own groceries in the fridge or fear that someone will eat your food.

overall, it's a control thing.

Anonymous · Answer

You can't turn off the parent button.😆 I'm almost 50 and my mother still thinks she knows what's best for me. The difference now is I know and accept this will never end.😆

It's funny, this question reminds me of a commercial where a dad is saying goodbye to his daughter who's going off to college. She's got her car all packed up and he's advising her with dogs and don't when she at college and he's not there. And finally after a while she's like, "dad I got it". And tha camera turns to the dad and he says "I love you sweetheart". And then the camera turns back to the daughter in the driver seat of the car and she's lime 5 years. Old and she says real cutely, " I love you daddy".

And that's the point. To your parents you'll always be that defenseless 5 year old taking on a mean world. Some parents try to control you fate to much. But try to remember it comes from a place of love.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’m not sure. I’m 18 and my parents give me a lot of freedom, but in the end I have to respect their wishes about some stuff. Like I couldn’t hook up with a bunch of people in their house and get away with it. Fortunately I don’t want to do that, but there are some limits to my freedom.

Twalli · Answer

I'm 33 and still living with my parents. I think I'll always need some help functioning in a house, even with my fiancée. That's actually one of the reasons why I still live with them. I can lay the groundwork for help before moving out. I'm lucky that, unlike others who need help, my parents didn't die from COVID-19.

byrdman89 · Answer

I'm 54 and have three children 30 22 and 21 - no matter what they do or where they live I will always see them as my children because they will always be my children

paledreams · Answer

Wasn't this mentioned with Sarah/Sara in the Santa Clauses Disney special Episode 1? She's basically 30s plus and still living on her parents couch 🛋️😊🥳😅

Chillguy53 · Answer

im 20 and i live with my parents but im not a child.  Even if i get to work, im not being paid enough to get an apartment.

Sofie01 · Answer

Maybe it could be the other way around. I live in a culture where they tend to live with us in their elders' quarters, though we have in Law's quarters.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

In Asia in old days, first child live with his parents. I think it’s good. My aunt in Japan lives with two children. One married and one not. Big family

kaucky1 · Answer

I wasn't born but time traveled hypnotized her to believe to be mother

Anonymous · Answer

Parents don't want their kids to grow up. People don't like change.

Anonymous · Answer

Not most, but more than usual.

Is this true for most adult children still living with their parents?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said