Search Results: leaving when they are asleep

To begin with, I have lost track of how many cousins I have in total. I was in touch with my maternal cousins until when I was a 5 year old boy. But that’s a question for some other time. Soon, my family shifted to another state for better living. And I got completely disconnected from all of them. Life continued until one of my female cousins whom I knew as a kid, and her mother came to stay with us for a tour of the city. All I knew about her is her name and that her father left their family and ran away, leaving her mother alone with three kids. Now, she is a 26 year old attractive female. She was quite friendly from the beginning and we went to several places to visit. In one of our conversations, she told me that she didn’t have a boyfriend ever. Which was almost impossible for me to believe. During all of the trips, she held my hands wherever we went and always stayed together except when we were asleep. She would tell me that I look more handsome in-person than in my photos. And I told her that she is indeed very beautiful.

As for myself, I am a 22 year old male and never had a girlfriend nor had anything physical my entire life. That could be because of my upbringing, as my parents are one of the strictest I’ve ever seen and I am not kidding. For instance, I had very limited access to a smartphone, television or even a computer with access to internet till I was 18.

For some reason, I felt that she was everything I have been looking for in a partner. And I did have the guilt. Even when we were sitting in-front of our parents, she kept touching my hands and hair. And our parents also didn’t bother. Cuz we’re family! She seemed like a joyful and carefree adult like in the movies. Life would be easier if there was a person like her with me. Her vacation came to an end and we went back to our lives. I would look at our pictures here and then to remind me of her. It’s been a year since then and I am still trying to find a partner.

Tbh most would just leave I’m asking out of curiosity for myself because my girlfriend of 2 years (21) is leaving for a job opportunity in a different province. I’ve been through lots of shit with her, still love her after the wrong she’s done (saying it like that makes me feel sick but I do love her). I’ve half ass caught her on multiple occasions up until she caught an STI and I tested negative after almost a year of having unprotected sec together (that one broke us up for around 4 months until I saw her at a bar hooked up and got back together). I’ve snooped through her phone found texts between her and this one guy in the past meeting at a hotel while we were dating, I caught her texting another guy on multiple occasions on snap chat once she waited for me to fall asleep to rub herself and I’m assuming sext him in my bed while she thought I was sleeping (though I didn’t read the messages, I knew it was a guy she slept with in the past though and I know she was touching herself for certain), another guy she was really secretive with while we first started dating, one time I caught her dancing on a guy at the same bar I was at with her (unfortunately I lost my cool and blacked out on the guy who I later found out was the guy who met her at the hotel), one time when we were fighting she said she was going to a party with the same guy too. As I write this it breaks my heart because I’ve truly loved her for so long, I wanted to marry her and she has treated me as nothing less than worthless and I would never have done that too her under any circumstances. anytime no matter when in the relationship she was never willing to talk to me about it, she painted me out as jealous, she’d say I’m crazy, she’d say that’s why “we broke up for so long too heal” and the list goes on and on but tbh I’ve never gotten a real genuine answer or proof otherwise she’s cheated on me and I want to give her one but is it unfair to give her one last chance if she comes clean?