Being too intense for him?

i asked the guy I was seeing how he felt about me..although I didn't want it to be through texting it was, because I couldn't hold it in any longer because it was driving me crazy..always wondering. He texted me back saying "I'm gonna ignore that question for now, I told you I'm in a weird mood today." And apparently he was, because he canceled on me coming over.

So he texted me back a day later saying "straight up you're too intense for me. I'm a busy person and don't have time to text you everyday and see you all the time. you should probably search for someone you can enjoy better."

...i am just so confused as to why he would say this. I barely texted him every two days and rarely asked him to hang out, why? because I know he works like 24/7 and has his own apartment to take care of and all that. I don't see how I'm being too intense.

He just completely messed with my head. When we first started hanging out he texted me all the time (before he had his apartment) then we basically stopped talking for a month, because he was always too busy unpacking and such. So I gave up...that's when he started asking me to hang out all the time. So we did, and that's when we started sleeping together. I felt like when we were hanging out he would act like we were "together" expecting me to kiss him as I arrived at his place etc. But when we weren't hanging out he would really contact me, not even to say goodnight or good morning. I don't know what happened and I feel like its all my fault because apparently I'm too "intense"...


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds to me like is just trying to be nice. He obviously dumped you for something he likes better and he gave you "too intense". It was just his way of being kind. Had he honestly told you the facts it would have likely been more hurtful too you. Just accept that he is gone and move on. There is nothing to be gained by analyzing the situation to death. Hell too me that is reason enough to get rid of a girl. If she carefully weighs my every word and action she is too intense.:)

    • Yeah lol. I never did anything to come off as intense! I still had my own life. I was even the busy one out of both of us for awhile. I feel like as soon as we started sleeping together it went downhill.

What Guys Said 4

  • you weren't at fault and it sounds like his loss, not yours. He just wants a booty call or companionship when he deems it, he doesn't want an actual relationship and sadly you got caught up in all this. Move on and find someone who appreciates you.

  • No, I don't think you are intense. You are just being normal & are expecting normal things that a girl would always expect from her boy. It is not your fault.

    How long have you known him ? Does he stay far away from you ? Does he text you on his own ? How often do you meet ? He appears like a busy man. What is his profession ? No one can be busy 24/7

    • Ive known him for a few years as we went to the same school. But only started hanging out a few mths ago.... he works at koodo (the phone company) and works 6 days a week. And then he has the normal housework tasks to do like cleaning and laundry etc. He would text me rarely after we started sleeping together. It made me feel like he thinks he doesn't have to put any effort in because he thinks he has me, and I ddint want it to be like that.

    • What about Sundays ? Does he come to meet you or vice-versa ?

  • let me tell you exactly where you messed up BIGBIGBIG time

    line 24, words 10-13,


What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think that had anything to do with you. As jerseyse said, I think he was looking for a booty call. So by you asking how he felt about you, he realized you weren't going to be an easy "tap and go." If a guy says something to you like this when you're sure you weren't being too intense. Like only texting once every couple days, etc. as you said. It's really just code for him not being interested or just wanting sex. Don't let it get to you or change your ways. The problem is with him. Not you.

  • Not your fault, he's a dick.

  • Sounds like his excuse to get out of there.

    • That's what I'm thinking.