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This one is mainly for the guys...But girls state your opinions too :] So girls are so self conscious about themselves. We always have to look good, because if were not then we will be judged. But the one thing that guys always come too is our weight. So the question is...Does weight really matter?
I think the media has the female perspective so screwed up it is ridiculous! How heavy is too heavy? How thick is too thick? Do guys like thick or skinny girls? You never hear people say, "How healthy is too healthy?". Today people are so fixated on looking thin and loosing weight that they loose focus on the health aspect of their personal image, or their body image.
What is body image? Body image is a multidimensional construct or an idea that reflects how you see your own body. Many and most people today experience body image disturbances even if they are not aware of it. Body image disturbances are inaccurately perceived images that you may see as you are looking in the mirror . There are four body image dimensions which are perceptual, cognitive, effective, and behavioral. I will not go into depth on these right now, but that should give people something to look up if it sounds like something they are experiencing. My minor is Exercise Science, so I had to put some of that out there.
Do guys say, " Look at that fat/heavy chick, I'd tap that"? No, and I hate when guys say crap like that. No, guys do not typically go for girls who unfortunately have an abnormally high Body Mass Index (BMI). That is not something most guys look for in a girl. Do guys want the thin, twig like supermodels? Absolutely not, that is disgusting and the media has it all wrong across the boards! Personally, I like girls who are in shape and make a real conscious effort to stay in good shape. Being physically active is not a choice, its a lifestyle. Most guys like their women to be healthy and last time I checked, heavy and fat are not new slang terms for healthy.
So not to be shallow. But yes, weight does matter. And unless it is a result of a Thyroid condition, you can always improve your physical condition and get into better shape. Women should really stop asking this question. It is unfair and just make us guys look bad and shallow minded. If some sweaty, stinky, overweight guy walked up to an attractive girl and asked for her number, we all know there is most likely no chance in hell he will be successful. Girls often ask men as well, "If I gained weight and got fat, would you still love me". That is a horrible and unfair question to ask a boyfriend or a spouse! Love is also respect, and how can we (men) respect you if you do not respect yourself. Someone who respects and cares about themselves will take care of their body and continue a healthy lifestyle.
Finally, yes weight is huge...Literally! And it should matter just as much for the women asking this question as the men looking or not looking. Yes, beauty is only skin deep and in the eyes of the beholder. Everyone has their own idea of beauty and definition of what beauty looks like or if it is about looks at all. That is your call as an individual. Weight does matter, but as long as you are healthy anything some asshole says about your weight is irrelevant.
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Yes. It does. Nobody want's a heavy load. That goes for women too. Don't lie and say you would be stumped between Brad Pitt and the likes of Chris Farley. The truth behind why men like fit girls...
1) They eat less. That's big bucks saved when we go out, especially on trips! Lets say we spend a weekend at the boardwalk, a light lunch and dinner yes, no to the endless snacks and cotton candy. Expensive drinks like coke are only sucked down by porkers, water is free!
2) They take less of the bed, and don't get as sweaty at night. This is pretty simple, fat girls take up a lot of mass, and seem to sweat at night, which is uncomfortable for optimal sleeping.
3) Less health risks. If you are thinking about settling down with a rhino, you better do a little research on all the health problems caused by an unhealthy weight. Why you ask? A lot of these problems can be passed on habitually and genetically to your children.
4) Self respect. We have heard the plumper's rant on about how they are beautiful and god meant them to be this way and not toothpicks. That is a bunch of self denial bullsh*t. You are not intended to inhale fried chicken and sit on your fat ass all day. A women who does this doesn't truly respect her body, which means how could she truly respect you.
5) Fat doesn't show the curves of a women. How can you be truly sexually attracted to someone if they are covered in a giant layer of blubber. Stubby arms and legs only look right on a midget or a baby.
6) A healthy body usually means a healthy lifestyle. A girl that exercises regularly has a better chance of balancing her life. A positive social life, career, and goal orientation are some of the things that benefit from a healthy lifestyle.
Nobody want's to be stuck with a brick. If someone has a few extra pounds, and they are complaining about not being able to find someone because everybody likes fit people then It just means they are full of sh*t and like healthy people too, because I am sure there is someone in the same condition available.
I worked with so many men in my life. In job environments that typically have rougher not so tactful men, so I've learned more than I ever wanted to know in my life about certain things! But I am so thankful for my mostly male environments because it really has shown me that sure guys talk a lot of crap about women's bodies but they do also love them and don't see the imperfections that we do. Women judge us harsher on our looks then men do.
Sure men will sit down and pick apart a woman in a magazine. They will say her boobs aren't big enough or her thighs are too skinny. They completely objectify those women but those women aren't their girlfriends or wives. There is a lot of more respect for the woman's body whose his. Not saying men think women are possessions but it's like the difference between a car he sees in a magazine and his first car that is sitting in a dusty pile in the driveway. He may be completely amazed by the new car but he is in love with that piece of junk in the front yard. It doesn't matter that the fender is dinged and the windows don't stay up and it leaks oil like the freaking BP spill. It's his and he loves it as is. It's the same way with his girlfriend or wife. Sure she has stretch marks and cellulite and that nasty little hair on her chin that she always has to pluck but she is a million times better than the 'perfect' girl in the magazine.
Men start having problems with their wives/girlfriends weight when it seems like she has stopped caring about her appearance all together and when she starts treating him like crap. When a woman is trying to keep up her appearance, even if she is gaining weight, and she is still being good to him, a guy doesn't care like we think he does.
I've gone through different things in life like sicknesses that have made my weight fluctuate drastically. Losing huge amounts and gaining huge amounts back. But during that time I never stopped taking care of myself. Dressing nicely, wearing jewelry, perfume, clean clothes, all that. And I never once got a sideways glance from my boyfriend that he was disappointed in me or thought I needed to take better care of myself. He still wanted sex just as much and still said I was just as beautiful.
My friend also had a weight gain issue at one time. She stopped taking care of herself, wore sweats all day, never did her hair, and became a complete bitch to her husband. And you better believe the weight gain became an issue.
And the same is true for women they just met. If she looks like she doesn't want a guy to approach her cause she is frumpy and unkept, then no guy is going to approach her. Whether she has weight on or not.
weight doesn't matter, it's how you carry yourself. I spent most my life obese/overweight and I'll tell, HEALTHY is what to go for. guys can't look at you and guess how much you weigh. they can look at you and see how good you look. I know girls who are considered obese based on BMI and blah, blah, blah but these girls are gorgeous, bodies are nice and curvy, some even have flat stomachs, but thicker hourglass figures. your weight is PERCEIVED based on how your body is shaped.
200 pounds on a 4'11 girl is a lot differ from a 5'10 girl. athletic girls are heavier with muscle, but can be completely toned and stick thin girls are skinny, but be completely out of shape (and some guys truly like a FIT girl versus a thin one).
if you're not happy in your skin, it's a turn off anyway. you have to be comfortable in your body, and hell, you may even convince a man that what he THOUGHT was hot no longer matters because YOU changed his mind lol I know guys who are dating bigger girls that they used to laugh at because she was so sexy and confident that he had to get her. personality really does help with attractiveness too.
regardless of all that, if you feel unhealthy, do something about it. it feels great to take care of yourself as opposed to worrying about what others are thinking about you. those people don't matter at the end of the day. fall in love with yourself first and then let the guy love happen when it happens. you need to FEEL healthy and BE active. it's not easy, trust me, but it's not impossible and remember to DO IT FOR YOU! nobody else!
- Anonymous(30-35)
I think it does. Not every girl is a stick, nor does every guy like a stick. All guys have different preferences, and we are all different shapes and sizes. However, the general consensus is that most guys prefer a girl who is in shape. What I mean by this is a girl who tries her best to stay thin. Not everybody will be a size 4, but I think most guys would prefer a girl who exercises, eats fairly healthy, and is within a normal looking weight range-not majorly overweight or underweight. Some guys are shallow and only want size 00 type girls, and I also notice that guys often say they like a girl with XYZ proportions, a certain colored hair, eyes, height, etc...and then will find a girl who does not match their "list" but is attractive nonetheless. The most important thing is to just stay healthy, take care of yourself. Don't overeat or undereat, try to exercise within healthy limits as often as possible, and just take care of your entire body-skin,hair,face, the works. If you look and feel good, you will radiate confidence which is also important and very sexy. In fact, I think many guys would be far more attracted to a pretty, glowing girl who is normal-sized, takes care of herself well and radiates confidence and a healthy glow, compared to some size 00 hair-dyed overly-made up trashy anorexic chick.
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I think most people find they are attracted to someone of their similar body weight. I would like to bring up a point that I don't think most girl realize course I might just be a loner in this thought process.
In my opinion, a women saying "I am fat" or "I gonna gain weight if I do that" might be the biggest turn off in history. I seriously get upset at my girlfriend any time she does. Not to say I get mad but disappointed. She know I think she's beautiful but to complain about weight (one of the the least controllable visual aspect of our selfs) implies that she's worried that by gaining a pound that I would stop thinking she's pretty. Personality and appearance I think are not more or less important then each other. But I'm not saying you appearance means you have to make yourself the social norm of beauty, I am saying you need to be visually appealing to the one your seeing. As long as they are attracted to you then f*** everything else.
And if your single you will find someone who loves you for how you look. (this is coming from a guy who wears glasses, tall and gangly and plays dungeons and dragons : D)
Oh and for the record I deter from the main question only because all the advice about how personality is just as important is just about true.For me yes it matters. The media thing is way over the top. Fake boobs and being stick thin that's extreme and unfair. I feel bad for all the insecure girls out there.
However there is no hiding that overweight isn't attractive. For three reasons, visually, health and character. Weight unlike height for example, is something we can control and actually do something about. So choosing not to, isn't a good sign. It also naturally becomes harder to lose weight as you get older, so everyone needs to be doing what they can while they are younger. It basically just shows inner confidence and happiness when you know you look good.
Slightly overweight is one thing. I actually think slightly overweight looks good. Some celebs seem to lose their attractiveness when they get too skinny. Slightly overwieght is good. But what happens in 5 years, 10 years?
It's just one aspect. A great personality, and clicking together is very important. Slightly overweight is ok, but it's a dangerous slope. Heavily overwieght is really bad. I'd say the same thing about a guy (who obviously I wouldn't want to be dating).
Yes, weight does matter. Guys do not want a girl who is overweight. That is a fact of reality - and it's understandable. What you should also know is guys don't want a girl who is too skinny. A guy wants a girl he's attracted to, one who looks healthy, etc.
And likewise, women want a guy who is in shape too. Yes, perhaps some women are willing to settle for a guy who is out of shape moreso than some men - that's true. But at the end of the day, you can't fault guys for wanting a woman that they are attracted to.
Women don't need to be supermodels. But being in shape is something that is a good thing to strive for.
What attracts a guy to a girl? -> link
Are guys intimidated by pretty girls? -> link
Why do girls like outgoing guys? -> link
Best
- EvanFirst of all, stop with the "we will be judged". By whom, and why do you care? If you are trying to please people you don't even know, then you need to work on that.
Yes, weight does matter. I'm a thin guy and I don't want someone who is overweight. It's a compatibility issue. I have family/friends who are average or slightly overweight who are with similar partners, as well as people who are much overweight who also have similar partners. A guy who is fat shouldn't expect to date a supermodel, nor should an overweight woman expect to date James Bond. That said, a love handle or a little stomach isn't the end of the world to a guy who loves you. I do think guys are more forgiving than one might think, but if it's a difference of night and day, then that's a different story. (Yes, I know the idiots who say "anything over 120 and I'll get the harpoon" don't make my case, but that's an exception. Any guy who says that is an idiot; I dated a girl who was 5'11/135 lbs. Anyone think that's fat? Geez!)-
Lets see... I back up drew 100% that you're always judged. But I'm going to say that yes, weight does matter. I've seen some of the most goregous girls in the world think that they're fat but they aren't at all and heavier girls be so confident (I don't know why) That they say it's only a little extra. I am a little overweight. But I run every night and workout every other. I'm working on it. Sure I can get girls easy, but I realize that I need to lose some weight. The poroblem with most heavyset girls is that they're like "I'm already here" And either don't want to put the effort into a healthier lifestyle (diet, exercise) or they don't think they need to. Truth is even if a guy is friggin 300lbs, he's still going to look to the hot, skinny, sexy girls even if he can't get them. It's primal, instinctual. Humans are conditioned to find the most attractive mate possible Because having an attractive mate means more attractive children and then your children have a better chance to find a mate and thereby reproduce. Simple instincts.
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I have to point out that you are always judged, because whether you look "good" or "bad" is always an opinion! It can be your opinion or that of another but it's always a judgment call by someone.
but to move on to your real question, yes, BUT it's all relative. A guy is going to have an attraction or not based on his past, and that could be for or against big girls, or no preference at all!
Personally, I find it a factor, because for me it is a self-esteem factor. I eat well, I am a very good cook, and occasionally I find my pants a bit tight! and a little red flag goes up and I alter my habits to get back to a 36 or 34" pants... I will NOT go buy 40's, even if I have to aggravate my permanent disabilities with some exercise! I think something similar happens in most "moderate" body types.
If you don't mind a really big guy, he probably won't mind your size! on the other hand, if you are attracted to someone who is athletic, you can bet your last dime that he's looking at athletic women... - Anonymous(45 Plus)
Depends on the guys you are trying to attract and where you live. In Southern California, the standard for slimness is set pretty high. It's not that you cannot be "chubby" but then guys who are very fitness conscious see you as not toned when you may be very toned underneath a small layer of fat.
Overall it's about having a nice figure. If your heavier but in all the right places and not so much in the wrong places, you will have many admirers. Some girls are just lucky to carry their weight in a way that looks very curvy and attractive.
Also, watch what you wear. If you are curvy and wear clothes that dig into you and give you a muffin top or fat rolling over your bra straps, you will look worse than you should. I don't know why girls these days insist on wearing pants with rolls coming over the waistband and tops that cling to the rolls and highlight them. If you have extra weight, wear the right size, don't try to cinch it in. It's the equivalent of a combover on a balding man. Just say no. listen just because a girl is heavy doesn't mean she doesn't take care of herself and isn't in shape. When I was young I never worked out and I ate whatever I wanted! I smoked never exercised and ate what ever crap I felt like eating, but because I was skinny guys liked me. Well, as I've gotten older my metabolism has changed and I am overweight now. But I take exceptional care of myself, I eat well and exercise HARD! I run five miles a day, can do fifty guy pushups and I like to lift weights. When I work out, I run guys into the ground! Because of my metabolism I can work out for hours without getting tired! Nothing I do changes the fact that I am heavy now. But because I am heavy you guys assume that I am lazy, sloppy, and don't take care of myself! You don't know what the hell your talking about. Most of the skinny girls you think are in shape never work out and eat cookies for breakfast and pizza for lunch! If you don't like the look of heavy girls that's fine, I don't like skinny out of shape guys; but don't assume just because a girl is heavy she is lazy and doesn't care about how she looks.
967 opinions shared on Health & Fitness topic. It matters if the girls is unhealthily obese, sure. But if she's just carrying a little extra poundage? That's never been a concern of mine. To me, it's a sign that the girl knows how to party, enjoys a beer, and possibly a good steak. She will never order salad, then spend half the meal stealing food from my plate. Rather, she'll probably know the best place to go for ribs on a Thursday night, and where I can get the best cheese cake in town.
I love a girl who's happy in her own skin, and who'll never start a fight by asking "Does this make my ass look big?"-
Honestly obese people are unattractive...sad but true..However, most girls make WAY WAY WAY too big a deal out of their weight..the average size of a healthy, and in many guys opinions, beautiful girl, is a lot bigger than the average model...society has a real problem in that regard...I guess I can't speka for all guys but honestly me and oen of my buds were talking about how girls today that get the most attention are actually pretty skinny and that he even described girls considered to be heavier as "healthy"..its disgusting honestly...and I think a lot of guys are under the spell of the media as well...women who were considere beatiful decades ago would be called fat now...it's not natural I don't think for guys to like anorexic girls...I think guys are also under the influence of soceity as a whole..I have no clue how this got started that being on teh skinnier side makes ur prettier but I hoenst to god hopes it revereses itself soon..its hurting everybody.
Everyone is judged by everyone else about something. Judging others falls into personality types I think and runs along the same vein as opinions, which we all know aren't really worth much coming from someone that doesn't mean anything to us anyway. Although most everyone does it for different things. I don't feel that weight matters just as long as it's distributed well .Large breasts. Curvy hips. Height. Several things contribute to weight. A well distributed heavyweight is always welcome in my eyes.
to me its about being physically fit and healthy, respecting yourself, if your 300 pounds overweight you don't respect yourself and it makes me uneasy to want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect themselves because I wonder if they can't even respect themselves how they can respect others.
and equally as important is about having someone with the same lifestyle as me.
I have this habit of enjoying the outdoors
sometimes I might just get up grab the dog and want to run around like an idiot at the park for a few hours, And having a girlfriend that likes to run with her dogs is amazing.
its really about having the same lifestyle.Appearance matters. It's that simple. It seems superficial because it is.
We meet girls we like the look of.
We stay with girls we like the feel of.
If you're cute, clean, happy, and inviting, then we don't care if you're fat.
The problem is that many "fat" girls dress in an unattractive way that makes them look fat instead of curvy. Plus many "fat" girls are insecure, which makes them look unapproachable, boring, dirty, or angry.
I hope this helps...
~ Robby418 opinions shared on Health & Fitness topic. Well generally I prefer that she weigh lower than mets basically the only thing id prefer, to be honest though weight doesn't really matter because really, what does a figure tell you?. it has nothing to do with whether or not your overweight or healthy it just doesn't say much. A girl who is 200 pounds off fat is going to look a hell of a lot different than a girl who is 200 pounds of muscle, don't let figures bother you. if you suit your weight than what's there to worry about?. According to BMI, I'm actually quite far into the overweight catagory which is kinda odd considering I don't carry any visible fat.
So in answer to your question. no weight doesn't really matter at all, I actually tend to prefer thicker curvier women and most the time they tend to be a lot heavier so it doesn't matter to me, but still it depends on the guy. don't worry about it, if a guy don't like it, find someone else haha :P-
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For guys, it is nice to be able to NOT have to lie to you daily about your appearance. We will lie to appease you for the sake of love and relationship and family and whatnot, but it would be NICE not to.
In my advanced age I maintain a V-shaped figure, good muscle mass, good rate of metabolism. No 6-pack or crazy blobs of muscles everywhere, but very much in shape. I have the discipline to eat well and exercise to keep that up for life. The bottom line is, this should be the norm. I am in the top 10% of body appearance in my age group and I should not be.
Make it a priority to get into the top shape of your life and stay there, and the way I look at it, even if I am so pathetically off it is completely irrelevant, at the absolute very least, you would be in the top shape of your life. :-) :-) :-)
Hugs
Sasha -
HAHAHAHA! Wow guys must be very into this topic with 130 answers. I was reading the answers on here and laughing but at the same time wanting to vomit! I've been dieting on and off for 4 years and I went through a long stage of depression and gained a good amount of weight, so what? I can lose it which is what I'm working on right now. I honestly am not to worried about it, what happens when you have kids and your wife has that baby fat? What are they going to do not be attracted to her? I have no problem getting guys and I'm at my highest weight, and lots of skinny guys like me. Sure size matters for a lot of guys but for some it doesn't. All I can say is do what's best for you and screw everyone else.
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I'll be totally honest here. I like a girl who looks healthy. What that means is she's not stick thin and looks ill but then she doesn't look like she eats way more than her body needs for her lifestyle.
Personally, I have a reasonably active lifestyle and like to stay in shape, so I'm attracted to women who also like to eat a bit healthy (not all the time) and exercise in which ever way works for them. It's a turn off if the girl does no exercise at all, it's unnatural and lazy.
And no, this doesn't mean I only go for Miranda Kerr/Jennifer Hawkins/Jessica Alba/Jessica Biel types of women. I LOVE a woman with curves :) -
We do what we do to ourselves because of the images that the media embeds into our heads about what looks good & what doesn't. In all reality, women of all different shapes and sizes are sexy/beautiful, & every woman should love themselves the way they are. In my opinion, size does not matter. As long as you're happy with who you are, who give a rats ass what anyone else thinks. Just don't be afraid to be yourself! & If a guy judges you harshly for the way you look, then they're not worth the time of day anyway. Any guy worth even being around would learn to accept you as you are.
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I think MOST guys think that a girls body is all that matters. But I don't think so. Even if you have a skinny body you can still feel bad about yourself. Or the other way around. So that's why I say weight doesn't matter. As long as your healthy and you like the way you look there's no worries. Its sad but we all get jugded everyday. Its something we have to understand, its going to happen rather we like it or not. I look for quilties in person,but we even jugde other people because we go for what we see on the outside. Instead of making a wrong jugdement , we should start making the right jugdements.
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