This year, I was cheated on in a very miserable way because he acted like it was nothing, although he started fucking her soon after I told him I'd leave if he didn't end it. He's the first guy I ever kissed.
The guy crawled back into my life three months later. For some reason I let him convince me to try again, I introduced him to my parents and my friends (it was a long distance relationship). But it was never the same again and feeling that broke me a little more each day until I told him I wanted a break when we met face to face.
He was sad and angry about that and didn't take it well. I explained to him what annoyed me about his behaviour but he didn't want to change anything, so that was it, I left and didn't look back. I didn't miss him either interestingly, which I usually always do when people/I leave. I wasn't sad, I realised I had been done with him after he had started cheating.
Today, he sent me an Email, where he explains things I already know. Things like "my feelings for you were real", "I shouldn't have cheated" and so on. I still don't feel anything when I think about him other than remorse over investing so much time an energy in the relationship.
He said he never met someone like me, someone who upset and influenced him so much. I'm 18 now, he's 23, yet acts like a 15-year-old in many aspects.
Maybe I'm the one that got away to him, it seems like I am, but he's not mine.
Maybe "the one that got away" doesn't exist. Maybe it does.
I'm proud to say I'm over him. 2019 is the year I got stronger, the year I realised that what I'm looking for in men is extremely hard to come by but that I shouldn't settle for less than I need.
I hate dating and it'll cost me a lot of willpower to start looking for someone again. But I'm looking forward to meet someone who loves me with all of his heart, and whose feelings I reciprocate with my fullest intensity.