My ex dumped me years ago... why am I still heartbroken?


I'm so sorry I feel like I have no one to talk to. Even though I wake up smiling and go about my day, I still feel empty inside.
I miss waking up next to him. He motivated me to become a better girl/woman(we grew up together since teens). I was always there for him through his hard times, supporting his work. I can never forget the day I got into a car crash he immediately left his work just to help me. I remember the day he deleted all females off his social media i was shocked because i never asked him to do it, that was his decision because he told me that he doesn't want another woman interfering in our relationship. What guy would do that?? 😞I even surprised him a puppy for us on his birthday and our little Puddles still whines by the door waiting for him 😞

My ex dumped me years ago... why am I still heartbroken?

Then this one week he decided to move out because his job is in a city that's just a couple hours drive. I supported his decision and right before he finally moved out he just decided to break up with me out of the blue because he thinks he will be too busy with his new job and med school. Since then we never talked.

It felt like yesterday we went on that first date. Our first date ended up lasting the whole midnight by the lake. We were dancing and acting stupid like little kids and it was the happiest moment of my life. I was his first girlfriend and first kiss. I never felt this special to a guy before. I still dream about us going to that lake. Then in the blink of an eye, my best friend is gone.

My ex dumped me years ago... why am I still heartbroken?

The fact that he let go so easily without it bothering him tells me that our whole 2.5 years together was meaningless to him.

Here i am, after 2 years, still thinking what I did wrong. I wanted us to work out so bad I swear. For the times we have argued about stupid things, I'm so so sorry and if I did anything wrong I wish I could go back and fix it and tell him how much I love him.
I can't love another guy the same way I loved him. I tried to like other guys but I learned that you cannot force yourself to love someone else.
He's not my first boyfriend, I've handled breakups better before but why can't I get over this one?
I heard time heals, but 2 fucking years later I see those printed polaroid pictures of us in my closet and still wonder what I did wrong. I can't keep staying miserable like this my whole life.

My ex dumped me years ago... why am I still heartbroken?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • djfhsjk

    I get it, I promise it'll all be ok though. It's not your fault, and I'm sure he missed you too.
    I know it feels impossible but like my chemistry teacher always says: "the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time."

    You won't get over this in a day or a month, it won't be fast but you'll be ok in the end!
    Lastly, you're not at all alone! :)

    Like 1 Person
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • exitseven

    Your story really hurts just to read it. Relationships by their very nature are messy and awkward things. You are taking two lives and you are trying to mush them together in real time.
    You both seem to be in different places in your respective lives. He has made the decision to concentrate on his career. I don't think he handled the breakup very well. I'm sorry that you got hurt. The thing about life is that you have to get up every day and try to make it better. I don't know what you are doing in your life right now, if you are working or in school but you have to find something else to take up space in your mind.
    You will probably hurt from this for a long time but the hurt will get better.

  • Mortdikeuu

    Trauma bonding usually.