You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation for Your Healing

[Anonymous]

Everyone wants you to "get over it." They say, "It's been months," "Just move on," or worse, "It wasn't that big of a deal."

But the truth is: your healing is yours.
And it doesn't have to be easy, fast, or obvious to anyone but you.

Healing Isn't Always Pretty

Sometimes healing means isolating yourself.
Sometimes it means being “less fun” or “too quiet” or saying no when you used to say yes.
It might mean unfollowing people, cutting ties, starting therapy, or simply crying in the shower and calling that a victory.

Time Doesn't Heal Everything: You Do

People love to say “time heals all wounds.” But it’s not time it’s you doing the work during that time.
Some days you’ll feel like you’re making progress. Other days you’ll feel like you’re right back where you started.
And both are okay.

You Don’t Owe Anyone a Timeline

You’re not dramatic. You’re not weak. You’re not stuck.
You’re healing and healing isn’t linear.
The truth is: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your scars, your silence, or your slow return to peace.

What about you?

Have you ever felt rushed or judged while trying to heal from something?
How did you deal with it?

[ManOnFire]

As long as you are actually healing and not trying to go back to someone who doesn't love or respect you, then there's nothing wrong with it. You are absolutely right. When I went through losing a lover everyone would all tell me the same thing too: "Move on" or "You need to get over that." It took me time, until I myself had to realize "why am I caring or holding on to someone who is not holding on to me?"

Sometimes we want to believe the other person still thinks about or longs for us, and sometimes they probably do, but usually not enough to really want you back. That's why you have so many people who talk about an ex watching them on social media all the time, or even asking about you, but never saying anything. They're simply curious. But not enough to want you back. And that in itself should tell you something.

I had to learn to let go of someone who was not interested in being held on to or wanting to hold on to me. And that is the key thing. It's the sweet memories and all the things we did with that person that we all miss deep down, those are what we lost, and the reason why we can't "move on" right away. But with time we begin to realize that person wasn't meant to be for us or we see how they really weren't that great after enough healing time has passed. And that's when you've finally "moved on."

This really is a terrific Take. Not very long but says what it needs to in its briefness with full understanding. Sorry for the rant lol

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

This resonates with me since tomorrow we are filing the paperwork for divorce, even though we have been separated since January.

I'm doing fine and we are pretty serene about it, 99% of stuff is taken care off already and it's a mutual decision, but it still feels bittersweet that the supposed "forever" lasted barely four years.

That said, I can't really complain. I find the silver linings in my new life and managing my going ons independently, and I am thankful pretty much everyone is being supportive and available with very little criticism at all. I get my alone time when I need to decompress and when I feel the need for company someone is always available.

Everyone processes the break up differently - I don't intend to jump into a new relationship so soon - one of my past mistakes was jumping right into a new relationship as soon as one ended, now I need to take some time for myself.

I am open to friendly and casual frequentations, but no more than that at the moment and I am crystal clear about it.

[Caroline91]

It isn't just healing from the loss of a romantic relationship. There's death of a loved one, loss of a pregnancy, unraveling of a close friendship, experiencing a physical trauma, being victimized or abused. There are so many life experiences that take healing in order to move forward again. One of the most important things I've learned through it all is how and when to use the word "no." It's one of the most underused words we have. I learned to say no to all of the demands at those times when I need to expend my energy and focus on healing from something. But because I take the time I need, I always land on my feet and come back stronger. And I try to be supportive of others when I know they need that space.

[hannamontana]

This is so true! Healing is personal, and no one else gets to decide the pace or the reasons behind it. Sometimes the quietest progress is the most powerful. Thank you for saying this out loud.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I agree with almost everything except this 3D modeling from 1995, it looks really sloppy in 2025 !

[beefcakebradybatson]

That's what honkkkies have told us black folk since 1619. It's COMPLETE BS !!!

[RageBabe]

I wholeheartedly concur with this.

[Emmytexrex]

Well said