Dealing with circumstantial breakups?

This guy and I are in love with each other, but we decided to break up because I moved almost 400 miles away. Honestly, it was more his idea to break up than mine. I would have been okay with trying long distance to see if it could work for us, but he has had long distance relationships in the past that have gone poorly and doesn't want to try it again.

We ended on pretty good terms, although we are both very sad and miss each other a lot. We've been writing each other letters and communicating a online but only very little.

I know that I should probably stop talking to him if I want to get over him, but it's just so hard when really the only thing stopping us from being together is distance. Our relationship was pretty perfect otherwise.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Should I really just stop talking to him? Or is there something I could do to make him reconsider his stance against long distance?

Overall, I'm just really hurting right now, and it doesn't make it easier to know that he is hurting just as much. So if you have any advice on how I could start to feel better that would definitely be appreciated.


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  • I can't help but think that if he's hurting *so* bad why isn't he trying to make it work? That doesn't make sense if you think about it... regardless of the past if you truly want to make something work and have fallen in love with someone nothing is going to stop you from being with the person you ultimately want. I'm not saying he's not into you or never was but I just think you should stop using that as some sort of reason to want to make things work cause fact is he ended it and couldn't deal with it. So something somewhere was enough for him to want to walk away from you. I'm sorry for being blunt. I'm just trying to help you see things for what it seems to be. I haven't been in a exact similar situation but I have been dumped and rejected or whatever else so I know what it feels like to be clinging onto hope and wanting to make things work but having the other person not want to. You can't really do much about his decision. I doubt anything you do can make him reconsider. He left you so it's sort of on him to come back to you now. I think you should attempt no contact for a while and give him space to think things through. Once he realizes that he potentially has lost you for real and that you might be gone he might come back. No contact seems to work well for some people. I would recommend that.


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