He broke up with me. I begged him to come back, he didn't say yes. Now I'm using the no contact rule. Will he come back?

My boyfriend and I, both in our early 20s, have been on again off again for the last 4 months of our 2 year relationship. Every single time we broke up, we'd get back together. The first two times, I broke it off, and the last two he did. I begged him, saying things would be different and that I'm changing and felt we're meant to be together, honestly feeling all of these things.

The past two times, he accepted my plea and we got back together. This time when he broke up with me, he mentioned he's just not happy and that things just aren't working out for him anymore.

We met in person and I gave him back his things. I also went back into my begging, which was completely embarrassing. He was sending mixed signals, hugging me and walking after my car when I'd be crying or trying to leave. Then he finally said "I don't want you, I don't want to be with you, you're bad for me." I finally just had to leave, for I realized this was not going anywhere.

I later sent a text mentioning I won't be with someone who doesn't want me and that I wish him happiness, and goodbye. I refuse to call him over and over with no response only to let him confirm his possible crazy view of me.

Anyway, I'm going to start the no contact rule. For myself, mainly. We care about each other immensely, but maybe the relationship has run its course. However I am wondering what he'll be thinking during this time? Does it actually work? Will he be wondering why I'm not calling/texting and try to get into contact with me after a while?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know why you two broke up, but the fact that you two have been at it three times suggests to me that it is not functioning. Your ex said you're bad for him, this means that you might have been at his throat, and him yours. You need to realize that sentiment is a product of time spent with one another, but your sentiments do nothing to tell you about what is wisest for either of you. You're better off without him and him without you.

    I suggest you move on using techniques of meditation, eating right, sleeping right, self-development with hobbies and readings of philosophy. You must learn from your mistakes because the next man you meet can potentially be more compatible, but you can decide this through your willingness to "change" without the prospects of returning to your ex. You must not return to your ex.

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    • Thank you. Really appreciate it. Keep me up to date with how you're feeling so I can map out what's the best move following your temporal state.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, People Tend To Use The "No Contact Rule" For The Wrong Reason, Its Not Meant To Get The Other Person Back But Help You Get Your Emotions Under Control. iSuggest Not Talking To Your Ex Until You Gain Full Composure & Start Feeling Better. Dont Try & Force The Relationship, If It Happens Then Let It Happen On Its On, Give It Some Time (If You Wanna Get Back Together) ...

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  • I don't think he'll be back. He seemed to have made his decision based on that statement you quoted. You should probably stop hoping for him to come back.

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    • I just don't understand why he'd say this and continue to hug me when I teared up and walk after my car when I'd try to leave.

  • whatever, just move on don't think about him ever if he back it's your decision afterwards

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  • The silent treatment can work but it depends how much he actually cares about you. Right now I've gone silent on my ex-crush. She's re-added me as a friend but I won't say a thing to her. She knows I'm not happy with her and that I've given up on her. The silent/no contact thing hammers that message home and may make her make the effort to contact me, however, the opposite could happen. She could stop caring altogether, and give up as well.

    The silent treatment may work but it depends on a lot of things. It isn't entirely risk free, unless you've written the other person off as a lost cause. Which I have. :)

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  • you begged and that's end of it

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  • Probably not.

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    • He has had a pattern to wiggle his way back into my life, so I'm just a bit confused.

    • I can't say for sure because I'm not him, but if I was in the same situation of repeatedly on off, and then I got long term silence treatment after saying we're done. I'd be done and over with you unless I cared about you a lot, but I think that horse has been exhausted by the sound of things.

  • Men don't want rebellious women. I guess you finally pushed his boundaries too far.

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  • It seems like he actually meant it this time, and when a girl begs its a turn off

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    • For sure, I just couldn't help it! The thing is that he's said these kinds of things in the past. However not with this much intensity. I'm just wondering if I go completely cold turkey after being so crazy if he'll eventually try to talk to me again.

      We are leaving to go back to college in a few weeks, so maybe he'll contact me before then.

    • Yes, that is worth a shot, he will eventually contact you just to see how you are, so cold turkey is best for now i think

What Girls Said 1

  • honestly I would never speak to a guy who says this EVER AGAIN! Its really sad men are wired to think and act like this. I hear stubbornness out of pain is the cause, but is it fair he treated you like this? Think about years from now him leaving you and acting like this but you have a family, house, cars, and pets. It would be even more painful then, so he did you a huge favor in showing you his true colors now. I would move on and find someone who respects you enough to not hurt you and say heartless things.

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