My girlfriends hair is falling out and bald spots are forming?

Should I be honest and tell her I want to break up because of that to make up a lie? She was in the shower and so much hair came out it was strange.

  • Tell the truth
    Vote A
  • Lie about it
    Vote B
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I don't need a lecture I need answers.
Put yourself in my shoes.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Apparently you never loved her because if you truly did, No matter if she were bald, you would love Her------Unconditionally. Suppose it were Cancer where she had to have radiation or chemo? Would a scarf on her head to hide her bare cue ball be a reason to 'Break up?' This is not scoring any points with me here.
    I believe that with her hair coming out in amounts, it may be a health issue or some sort of vitamin deficiency that she needs to go see a doctor about as soon as possible. Instead of you finding excuses to dump her, sit her down as a couple, someone who she is going to Need very much right now, her Soul mate and Get to The-----Root of her problem.
    Suppose it was you who was in her place? How would you feel if she told you that you weren't appealing to her anymore? Offended, belittled, trashed on And Humiliated, lest we Forget---------Heartbroken and sad.
    Don't do this, please... I believe that with medical help and perhaps some medicine, her hair will be back to normal again. But from what I See here, her Hair is the least of Her own problems...
    If you should 'Hairy' Out of her life because it doesn't suit your little head too well, then I wouldn't blame her if she ever takes you back again because you wouldn't let down your own hair To-----Use your big head.
    "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..."Which "Eye" is Your------Good eye?
    Good luck, God bless. xx

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    • I'm not here to lecture, my heart is sad and broken for her... I am trying to knock some good sense into your head... Really I am.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow so many pissed off women. Honestly love for me requires emotional and physical attraction. For example and this isn't to be rude If I met someone with a great personality, but they weren't physically appealing to me say they are obese then I won't date them. The same goes for the reversal, if she has a great body, but shitty personality then I wouldn't date her either.

    Dude do what you think is best.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 21

  • so you're going to leave her over a health problem she can't help? why not just buy her a wig and take her to the doctor? but that would be too much like being a supportive bf

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    • I don't know if its a health problem, but it's a massive turnoff.

    • yeah its a health problem. anytime your hair begins falling out in clumps you need to see a doctor. but if you truly don't care then she is better off and you should break up

  • I would break up with her gently. You obviously don't care for her that much. She deserves better than you. Sorry to put it so bluntly.

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    • I deserve better for sure.

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    • Well i wouldn't assume your relationship would be based solely on aesthetics. But that's what it sounds like. I think anyone would want to be with someone who is going to show affection regardless if their appearance has changed. I think you're being completely one sided.

    • No, she deserves better becuase the only reason he has told us he actually wants to leave her is becuase of her hair falling out. People get better, hair grows back. She did not eat a load and get fat, this isn't her fault. People learn what it is they need from a relationship, and if he reaches 30 and still knows all he cares about is looks, then fair play to him if he actually finds someone with a personality he likes too. Then when he gets old and wrinkley lets hope they don't leave him for someone better looking.

  • You are shallow what important for you is her body and her hair did you ask her at last maybe she is sick --" shallow guy just leave her she deserve better then u -_-

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    • Attraction is important, do you just date any random guy?

    • if you look for just attraction so don't date there is bitches in the street they can give you everything you want for 50 books --" don't talk to me about dating because you don't know what dating mean..

  • You have already asked this question. If it's a massive turn off for you let her know. Then again, imagine if the situation was reversed. How would you feel if she dumped you simply because your hair started falling off or because you gained some pounds?
    Wouldn't you call her "shallow" and insensitive?

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  • won't lecture you. it's your decision to tell her or not. But i think you'll do her a favour by breaking it off because you obviously don't care for her. physical attraction isn't love. Clearly you got zero of that for her. maybe you'll grow up to understand what love is one day.

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    • "physical attraction isn't love"

      It is not. But it is a requirement for it.

  • I'm reading the opinions here and thought of something. You shouldn't break up with her by lying or by saying it's because of the hair, because it's not. You should break up saying that you dont have strong feelings for her and dont see yourself with her anymore. If you liked her enough, you would be worried about her health and all. If wasn't the hair, would be something else in the future.

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    • This is very true. If you really cared about her, this wouldn't be an issue. You wasted her time and yours. @asker

  • well, it's normal for hair to fall out in the shower. but the bald spots are indicative of a hormonal imbalance. she needs to see a doctor and get it addressed immediately, her hair can potentially grow back to normal.

    yes, i do think you should be honest about your reason.

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  • She probably has alopecia and should go see her doctor. Anyways, yes tell her the truth so she knows that you're shallow.

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    • How is that shallow?

    • It's shallow because you are turned off by something about her looks that she likely can't control (alopecia and many other hair loss problems are genetic). Break up with her because you won't be happy, but don't give her some bullshit reason. Tell it like it is.

    • So for example if your boyfriend started gaining weight rapidly and lost all his hair and grew wrinkles you wouldn't care?

  • Break up with her, for her sake. Clearly, you don't care that much about her or love her enough, because a boyfriend who did wouldn't find this a turn off and certainly wouldn't dump her because of it. So yeah, be honest, break up with her.. let her find a man who will support her no matter what, instead of your shallow self, and yes, this does in fact make you incredibly shallow. Asshole.

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  • Wow dude that's messed up. Tell her the truth, it'll be good for her to see your true colors.

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    • So if a guy you where dating for just a few months started forming something you found physically unattractive you would stay?

    • Yeah I would especially if I really liked him. I would learn to accept the fact that he is what he is and if he's okay with it then so am I.

    • Well I don't

  • that's awful. She is obviously going through a big change and she is probably hurting from it. So you dumping her because she has ball spots isn't very nice. You should reflect on your relationship. Is it really worth leaving her over a hair condition?

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  • You should definitely tell her the truth so she can warn other girls that you're an ass. You should be concerned for her HEALTH not her looks.

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  • I hope someone breaks up with you for something this stupid. Hair generally falls out from stress, and with an attitude like your's it's probably your fault.

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  • If it is falling out like that, she needs to see a dr asap. Something is wrong. My first two thoughts were stress and Lupus. Here are some reasons:

    abcnews.go.com/.../story?id=13320129

    You really should be supportive. It would show that you have great character and that's the kind of guys women want. If I found out that a guy left his last gf for something like this, there's no way in hell I would give him a shot.

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  • I would suggest you do it in indirect way and be as tactful as possible, if so much hair dropped off it could be due to health reasons too.

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  • It depends on how much you love her. I just feel sorry for her and pity her but it's your choice.
    If I could leave a person because of bald spots, it means I never had genuine tender feelings for the person in the first place. I would never leave a guy I love because of bald spots. If he has bald spots, my heart would ache. I would feel sad for him and would try to help him recover from them by doing research for him, accompanying him to see a hair/skin specialist, buying hair-fall control health supplements and hair products for him etc.

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  • I understand the whole put yourself in my shoes thing.

    How ever in this situation it is hard in this situation to take that comment of yours seriously.

    Have you put Yourslef in HER shoes? How on earth do you think she feels about loosing her hair?
    If you loved her and wanted to be with her you would make an effort to make her feel better about it and support her.

    If you really don't want to be with her just becuase of her hair then break up with her. But make up a lie.
    I believe honesty is best policy to be fair but not with this.
    But in this situation she will be going through enough with her hairless and having the fact her boyfriend doesn't want her anymore because of it will be even more heartbreaking.

    Just leave her and lie. You don't love her. You probably don't deserve her. To you, her hair loss is more imporant than who she is or even what the rest of her looks like.

    Leave her and let her get well again. Let her learn how to be strong through her hair loss on her own without you.
    Let her grow a gorgeous set of locks again without you in her life. Then she can find someone less selfish and shallow that will be proud of her and love her hair or not.

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  • i am sorry but you are really shallow. Instead of taking her to a doctor, you are running away from the problem. You clearly don't love her. From next time you get into relationship, make sure you actually love a girl beyond her transient looks.

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    • Put yourself in my shoes

    • I have. It doesn't matter. There are various options like hair transplant to get rid of this issue. Or Doctor can help.

  • tell the truth but believe me if she has very long hair then its normal that in the shower they will fall its not something but.. i am telling you bc this happens but when men see it they freak out and think somethings wrong (i saw it thats why i am telling you.. but if its too much then its not normal but anw.. tell her the truth maybe something up:)

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  • my god your breaking up with her because of her hair i thought you loved her not her hair

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    • It's not attractive

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    • BULL

    • -_- no cow

  • Aren't you shallow little man. She deserves better so tell the truth and leave her.

    Have you thought that she might be sick?😨
    You dont care for her, just her hair clearly.

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    • I'm not shallow

    • Yes you are if you dump her because of her hair

What Guys Said 13

  • You must not like her very much if your looking for a shallow reason to break up with her.
    She knows what's happening. she needs some ones help, but not yours Apparently.

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  • I'm not going to vote in your poll because the options isn't a answer. But here is something you may want to think about. You are a guy and guys stand a MUCH BIGGER change of naturally going bold than does a woman and karma is where you least expect it. Now comes the the part that makes my want to break down. Have you ever considered how a woman feels about her hair? A woman's hair is her crowning glory. Considering that have you ever walked into a breast cancer clinic? I have and I went there with the person I loved more than my life, my mom. And I knew how my mom felt about her hair and the thought of losing her hair and on top of that she had the fear of losing her life. Since those dreadful days of taking my mom to that clinic and her passing I saw my mom without her teeth and felt completely helpless having to watch her slowly fade away. My point is you will learn one day you love for the person not their hair or looks. Your girlfriend on the other hand probably has a thyroid disorder or Lupus. As far as hair both are fixable. One day when you're my age if you end up single like me without the love of a woman, you will look back at how lucky you were and gifted because though my situation was very different, she probably really cares about you.

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  • You don't love her but lie to save her feelings (its usually something I wouldn't say). However this is something she can't help and that'll affect her self esteem for the rest of her life if you tell the truth

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  • if its what I think it is, shit I can't remember the name, then its a temporary condition and her hair will grow back but go to the doctor and get her checked out asap. at least put her health first before breaking up with her.

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    • Are you talking about alopecia

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    • Alopecia.

    • Lupus maybe? It was my first thought as to her hair loss per his description.

  • "I'm sorry baby, but you're losing too much hair and I don't like the way you look now. I'm breaking u-"
    "Wait how'd you key my car and bust all the windows out so fast?"

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  • I am trying to understand what you said. If you tell her you are breaking up because of the hair, is THAT the lie? You really have another reason but want to use this as an excuse? Or do you have a typo, and meant to say "OR make up a lie"?

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  • You don't love her yet. Because the first thought you had was to flee, rather than help her with it.

    Anyway, tell her.

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  • Tell the truth, clearly. The sooner she knows you're a superficial bastard, the sooner she can move on from you.

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  • No lectures is what you want then I shall give it in way that I hope doesn't come off as too much of me being an asshole because I have been through something like this and at your age it's a test and from the sound of it you are not ready for it. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you how you should act morally or ethical in terms of your own relationship. If you are uncomfortable, feeling awkward, not "ok" with what is going on with her body, or that it's just plain weird, and in your own words a turn off then be a damn man and TELL her how you feel and end it. Let's be real you obviously don't like what you are seeing. Just leave her. I know I am going to get down voted but I'd rather he leave than her have an unwilling partner be there in her predicament.

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  • Telling her the truth will make her self conscious about a medical condition but will let her know exactly where she stands and will let everyone know what kind of person you are.

    If you lie you would need to choose something else you don't like about her and potentially look extremely petty rather than extremely shallow.

    Neither option is going to make you look good so take the truth option as if you are going to hurt her and only think of yourself she needs to know that so she doesn't chase you.

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  • Tell her the truth. No offence, she deserves someone better. You find her apparent health problem a turnoff. A turn off to the extent you want to dump her. She may even have rough times ahead, and will need support from someone else. I hope her next boyfriend is a real man. Sorry for both of you you feel this way. I guess you guys are not a good match. But even if it is hard and seems rude, please be honest with her. It is worse to lie.

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  • I would reconsider. Your girlfriend could get several wigs and start pulling off several looks for you. It would be like having a different girl every night. I have heard other women that have had their hair fall out find that it really turns her man on. It can actually be a positive for some men, when their women start needing wigs.

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  • lol @ the butthurt women in this thread. He has every right to break up with anyone he wants for whatever reason he wants.

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    • Thank u

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    • "deserves someone better"

      Good luck finding guys who like bald women, lol

    • Oh there are men who like bald women. The point is finding a man who will understand and support her and try to find out solution for her heaĺth condition.
      True men support their partner. Many stay with their women throygh cancer and everything and that alsk takes away your hair.

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