Why is my ex so nervous around me?

[Lala85]

I broke up with him several months ago but whenever we're around each other it's like he can barely talk and (I'm serious here) might actually be hiding from me sometimes . WTF ?

[Quackpotty]

Things change when you get into a relationship, and they change again when you leave it . Did you expect to have the same friendship when you're out as when you're in ? That's unrealistic . You don't share all the same feelings outside a relationship as what you do inside, and you're not as close physically (you don't cuddle or hold hands or whatever) . Things will change . They have to . If they didn't, ask yourself if you're truly broken up . Now what you need to do is to find out how to be friends again rather than boyfriend/girlfriend . If you want this, you'll need to work at it, because it's not always easy to redefine a relationship .

[Lala85]

Yeah . I'm not looking for things to be the same as when we were dating or even how they were before we started dating I just want to be able to be in the same room with him w/o him acting like he's scared of me . I mean things ended kinda bad but I'm not a mean person .

[Quackpotty]

I think that time will heal that. Take the time to get to know him as a friend outside of your relationship. If he is hurt, he needs to get over it and that will take time. Once you have that, perhaps you might find you're great friends again. I hope that it works well for you!

[Bduffman1234]

Are you guys alone or in a group I mean I don't know the details, but you guys broke up it is always awkward at first

[Lala85]

Either way. If we're in a group he's a little less weird but he still acts like I'm not there and when we're by ourselves he pretty much gets away from wherever I am as quickly as possible.

Thanks for your answer :-)

[epavlova]

Sounds to me like he still has strong feelings for you, and he's having a hard time accepting that it's over. I mean, you are the one who ended the relationship, against his wishes, right? I'm guessing he does not have a new girlfriend, and he is still hoping (unrealistically) to get you back. Best thing is probably to give him space, and time, to accept that it really is over. That may take a while....just be patient, and let him come to terms with things in his own way....

[Lala85]

Thank you for your answer. If you don't mind my asking, have you ever dealt with a situation like this and if so how did it workout? This sounds pretty much exactly like what's going on in my situation and I'd really like to be able to help him move past it.

Thanks again:-)

[epavlova]

Not exactly like this, but I dealt with a similar situation once, a long time ago, in high school. A few months breaking up with a very nice guy (we ended things by mutual agreement), I got a letter from him, asking whether we could resume the relationship. Meanwhile, I had a new boyfriend, so I simply ignored the letter. Whenever I saw the letter writer for months after that, in school or around town, he seemed so sad and down. But by the next year he was over it...

[LilMiss]

Maybe it hurts him to see you because he's still not over you. Breakups are never an easy thing to deal with and he probably just needs time to heal. I agree with the Quackman lol great answer!

[Quackpotty]

Thank you. I agree with me too. I also agree with you. It can take forever to get over a serious relationship of any type, but if it's this sort and things got serious, it's on a whole other level.

[LilMiss]

Yeah definitely. The only time love sucks is when it's painful and it really does feel like it takes forever

[princessjess99]

Maybe he misses you but doesn't want you to know .

lol

[Lala85]

Mmmm... Maybe, but things really didn't end too well. He did ask me to get back together right after we broke up though.

Thanks for answering!

[Anonymous]

He might still have feelings for you and don't want you to know.