Does the no contact rule male psychology work?

I posted a question before this one. I know you guys told me to let go but this gave me hope. Do you think this can work? Some people said it does but I believe the reason why the couple are broken up matters too. I know he still loves me because he said so. Do you think this will work? Is it possible? He broke up with me because he said we were too different. But yet he still loves me. I'm sorry but I can't just get over this so pls don't say that. But honestly, do you believe the NO CONTACT RULE MALE PSYCHOLOGY can work? I kind of have hope.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No contact is not a game.. pretty much it is to improve yourself, help move on...
    What happenes is after a while, if the other person still has a small level of interest, they will get curious and reach out to you..
    On the other hand they might not even care..
    Best to move on with life, and by the time he reaches out, if he ever does, hopefully through no contact you are already over him, or have found an upgrade :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok so, I've read your previous post and this is what I think of it (and to be clear, I went/am going trough a similar situation).
    There is no REAL answer to your question, nobody knows if you are going to get back together or not. Not you. Not him. And most certainly not us.

    However, you ABSOLUTELY need to not contact him for at least a month. Some people believe that this is an opportunity for an ex to get rid of the bad memories and to get through the pain caused by the break up ( also, in response to your previous question, even if he's not showing it, it's not easy for him, believe me. I'm not saying he's hurting "as much" as you are, but it is difficult to let anybody go, so he's not the happiest man alive, trust me).

    MOST IMPORTANTLY, and listen to me because nobody told me that and I reeeeeaaaally wish somebody would, you need this time for YOURSELF. And again I am not saying you will get over him in a month, it will probably be the hardest thing you had to do up until now in your life, you will think about him every single day BUT you need to find the good in the bad and the motivation to be a girl every proper guy would like to date. It is only when you found peace in what happened that you can even start thinking about getting him back. Anything you do before, will be driven by emotion and fear - which puts you in a place of weakness. Nobody wants to be with somebody who isn't happy. You need to find something that will give you happiness, even if it's mixed with sadness over loosing love. You have to start focusing on you and not the break up. The sooner you'll do that, the easier it will be (or for now, think that the sooner you start, the faster you could try to get him back).

    This is going to be difficult, but you are young, and although now it seems like everything is falling apart, believe me, it's not. You still have the most important thing - you.


    • Thank You. And I hope you are doing better than I am. This is just hard to accept, that's all. I feel like all the "I love yous" we're just fake. He said what we had was "true" love. He's just a liar and I hate him so much.

    • You are going to be just fine, with or without him.

      Also, have you talked since the breakup about the breakup? From what I got, you still don't exactly know why this didn't work out, and I think you really need to figure it out.

      People told me not to ask these questions again, and most importantly not too soon, because it will seem like I am clingy and needy so that won't do me much good. And so I didn't. And it is only 6 or 7 months AFTER the breakup that I finally had the courage to ask again, and I really wish I would have done it earlier. You need closure in order to heal. Have a really honest conversation - try to stay as open minded and collected as possible. Prepare your questions, write them on a piece of paper, and if you have to, bring it with you. And just be honest with him. Tell him exactly how you feel, tell him everything you WANT him to know, even if it doesn't change anything. Because, at least, in your head, you will be freed.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • It worked for me but it wasn't a success. I got played in the end actually. I used the no contact rule for about 5 months and then he came back to me. But it didn't last that long. He broke up with me out of the blue. It works though but think first before you think about going back to them. It isn't a game at all, it helps you heal and forget about the memories that you had with them. It helps you move on, and it gives you a time to just focus on yourself. If you give it a couple of months and talk contact them for a while they might coming running back to you, that's what happened to me. But you have to be careful because sometimes you just end up getting your hopes up for no reason. If they still have interest in you they will come back, I would try not contacting him for about a week and then see where that goes. For now though its best to just not talk to him and move on with your life. Who knows, by the team he reaches out to you, you may have already moved on. It worked for me but it wasn't a success it was more like a trap but I healed from it. If they care for you, and still have feelings for you, and still have interest in you, trust me they will come back. I've been going off of no contact with my ex for about a year now and it has been going swell. If you want to ask for closure or get some kind of closure you can but I would wait first. I never did ask for closure pretty much because he never gave me closure so I just had to make up my own. But you'll be okay, you'll be fine, with or without him. Try to distract yourself, or better yet act like he doesn't exist it works just as much.

    • Okay, Thank You, I'll try. It's really hard but I will try.

    • I understand its hard it was for me but I've learned from it and I've healed after getting hurt. Just act like you don't see him, act like he's invisible that's what I do. As the days go by it gets easier I promise, I thought I could never do it but I did.

    • Just be careful if he comes back to you, if you aren't so sure about going back to him when he comes back to you then I would suggest going with your gut. Yes its hard but it will help you move on and heal. Don't talk to him act like you don't see him. If you catch him making eye contact with you just look away, I did the same thing.

  • I am in the same position as you.
    Today, the guy I was with told me we should call it day because I am leaving uni for summer for 4 months.
    It is going to be almost impossible for me not to text him, snapchat him and worst of all check when he was last on facebook/watsapp (I am not a stalker, promise haha)
    But you have just got to think - if they loved you, thought about you, cared about you and missed you, they would talk to you even though you have not spoken to them.
    Don't make any contact for the minimal of two weeks and see what happens.
    If they love you, they will come back. Trust me.

    • Okay, and omg I do the same thing lol. I check when he was last on whatsapp & Facebook. I know I should stop but it's hard. He doesn't usually get on whatsapp.
      He only got on whatsapp for me. Could he be checking my recent too? Because he really only talked to me on there. This is so hard but I know I should stop. But it will crush me if he doesn't contact me. Because he has given me the silent treatment before and he's really good at that. When I used to do it back he would never give in. If be going crazy after only a few hours. He's so stubborn. I feel like his stubbornness & pride will get in the way of him contacting me. I once gave him the silent treatment for 9 days. & he never have in. It's so annoying that I had to give in. But it's crazy because I know he really loves me. At least "for now" he does. . .

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