Actually, the no contact strategy is useful as a reset switch. Essentially, it helps you forget about all the negativity and come to terms with them. There is no specific time period for a no contact. You'll know it's over when you don't feel as bad about them as you used to. It also takes care of any unhealthy little obsessions or infatuation that might have developed in the relationship.
The thing about no contact is, while negative feelings might be more intense, they tend to fade quicker than the positive ones. As a result, at the end of no contact, the individuals in a former relationship can take their time and come out of it with a calmer mind, and a lack of hatred towards the other. From there, it is quite easy to make decisions about whether to get back together or not. Most of the times, people do get back together and stronger unless the problem lay elsewhere.
If you're wondering whether it's gonna be easy to have minimal contact while seeing their face everyday, it's actually easier than no contact. Looking at someone and purposely making least necessary contact possible not only is easier, but it also makes the healing process faster. You don't think about them so much, and you don't read too much into their actions.
That being said, the success of no contact depends upon you facing the facts, thinking less about them, and coming to terms with whatever you've had. It's a personal space to solve problems in. At the end, if your significant other did like you, they would initiate contact again. If they didn't, move on. That's what the no contact period is for, after all.
The less you see or have contact with him, the faster you get past this. You want to stop having things happen that make you think of what you are dealing with. It's much harder when you have constant reminders. Do your best and don't dwell on thoughts you might have when you can't avoid him. Think about something else immediately. It may be hard, but is important if you want to get though it as fast as possible.
We work for the same company so have to have some contact. There's no way sadly that we can't have any contact, so I'm not sure if it'll just make it harder
It does make it much harder. Any reminder is hard. Just stay positive knowing it will pass. I can't say much more because I don't know what exactly you mean when saying "sexual tension and attraction". Was there a relationship that included sex? Is this a guy that you feel tension and have a sexual attraction to, but nothing happened? Have you spoken with him about this? Background information helps a lot. Otherwise, I'm just guessing about what has /is going on.
We had an insane amount of chemistry - we didn't have sex but we did flirt. I can only describe it as magnets being drawn together. I've suggested that we speak but he isn't open to it at all, he wants to keep it to work and that's that, no conversation about it. We're both married so this is really difficult.
He probably realizes he went to far and is uncomfortable with what he did with you. Let it go. He obviously doesn't want to cheat on his wife. You need to keep things on a work basis. There are a lot of men outside of work that will be more than happy to give you the sex you desire. Nothing good can come from two married people at work messing around. It always ends bad and then you are stuck, like you, with having to see them every day. Also, you take a big risk of a coworker telling your husband the truth. People notice and talk about this kind of stuff when it happens at work.
I'm not chasing after this, I want to let it go. But my way of letting go is to talk things out and decide a way forward, how to channel our energy into a good working relationship.
But having that limited contact I think is going to be difficult
Tell him you don't want to talk about what has gone on. You just want to let him know the past is the past and all you are interested in is having a good working relationship. Make sure you make it clear you want nothing more. Hopefully this makes hims much more comfortable. If he's a good guy, he should be willing to move on and consider the past as just that, the past. Don't ask him what he thinks after you tell him. That would be going back on your word about not having a conversation. If you want him to trust you, keep it simple.
Thank you - his response to me when I suggested a call ended with "I? m more than happy to help/support you with work but I'm not interested in anything other that that." - I maybe need to just back off now and leave it. Feels unfair as if we were in the same office, I'd have sat opposite him at a desk and it would have been sorted weeks ago.
I think the best thing for you to do is act as if nothing has happened before and he will realize you just another employee. He stated that and if you can do it, life will be better. In the mean time, find another guy. That will make it easier on you. You are stuck with a situation that only you can change. He's done his part and it's up to you. I know it's not an easy thing to do for you, but sometimes we have to make the best of whatever situation we are in. This is where you are at. He wants it forgotten and you need to do work on that as well.
You're describing "lust", and this is a direct result of pheromones. Nature is telling you that of all the males around you, this one would produce the strongest and most healthy babies. If course, this is purely in the physical sense, and had zero to do with his character or personality.
You can eventually "train" your body that this person isn't for sex as it gets used to their scent and doesn't get that itch scratched. But if you ever did have sex with them, that need would come back with vengeance until and unless you allowed him to impregnate you. If you were to be around him while pregnant with another man's baby inside you, for example, that would definitely fix it.
Do obviously this is just something that you'll have to wait out.
We work together but not in the same office. And we're due to see each other again soon. We're. Or able to have no contact at all but we have limited telephone contact through work. I'm just not sure that the limited contact is going to cut it
Well I read in another reply that you're married? Unless you're in an open relationship that your husband has agreed to, I'd like to assume that your wedding vows would be enough of a deterrent.
It's a deterrent not to do anything but I'd prefer for the feelings to be gone!!!
Like I said, you're going to have to wait it out if you can't get completely away from him. Could take a few weeks, or a few months.
Having no physical contact is a good way of trying to maintain control over yourself and the situation. If this is due to lust, which 9/10x it is, you have to do whatever it takes to stop it. But it won't help it disappear. It disappears because it's out of somebody else's choice if not just your own. Everything is always about choice. So be glad it's gone because you don't need lust. You either learn to love them or you won't. Lust is fleeting and immediate. Love takes time and it's entirely up to you.
But when it comes to mental contact, it can take on the same effect as having no physical contact. It still applies.
out of sight and out of mind works... whenever two people who have been close enough have chemical interaction in their brains as well... right!! that's how you make that special bond with some people only.
. the hormone that's majority responsible is oxytocin. so when you stop interacting physically with a person... with time that oxytocin release subsides too... you can start developing a new oxytocin relationship with other people... hug your other friends more.. interact and hangout more with them instead of that person you want to get rid of...
that works
Depends on the intent. I have a friend who wants her first kiss to be on her wedding day. I'm sure the no contact her and her boyfriend have will be full of desire and VERY charged. If I'm in no contact with a guy because he's unavailable, even if there's real chemistry, it will help fade the attraction for me. The body listens to the mind. This is pertaining to physical contact.
Opinion
121Opinion
It will help you get over them more quickly yes but ultimately I think they'll still always be attractive to you but just not as much and it will help you want to pursue other people.
We're both married so nothing can happen... we can't do no contact at all as we work together (in different offices), he only wants to have contact regarding work and I'd have liked to remain friendly. I guess we deal with it in different ways
It may disappear. I think you really need to be careful as it could consume your every thought and affect your decision making.
Speaking from experience I know what I'm talking about, luckily I got a grip on myself and snapped out of it.
Your infatuation and attraction to your co-worker is strong,, almost strong enough to ignore consequences. It is one thing to be infatuated with a co-worker, it is another if that infatuation affects how you think.
Very good advice!!!
Thanks,,, I had to dig into my past experiences. Realizing it would've messed up the lives of me and my spouse and my kids.
I can share what I had to do,, which was pretty erotic and powerful stuff.
Hell no it dont disappear, it makes it stronger, now this could both a pro and a con. Meaning "pro" it could make you miss your mate more. Which could make your intamacy that much more intense and the sex explosive... now ! The con to this is, tension flares up then so does frustration, doubt, curiosity and on and on. So depending how close you are to this person and if you communicate well. As to why no contact when your standing their with a morphed out boner and she's not paying it no mind... well somthings else is going on and she needs to binked upside her head with your bratwurst yeah?
nope its viewed as a punishment or a not interest if they see you wanting to hang but not touch its a mixed signal, they will want to still be close and around but they will find sex... just not with you. get over it and yourself and buy a big big big box of condoms. and enjoy the attention geeze you only live once get up in it and cover yourself with that person.
what are you saving it for? the after life? dont punish himor make him feel like that. no contact has no place in a relationship what so ever.
Fucking hope so.. But I don't think so. When you see them again it just comes back. It does help you go about your day without thinking about them if you haven't seen or talked to them in a while tho
Are you in a similar situation? We can't have no contact but can have limited telephone and email contact at work. But we will see each other again, probably in the next few months
Yea I want it to disappear - we're both married!!
It all depends on how strong it is. But with the guy i have a problem with, he's in a relationship, he's my friend, I stopped hanging out with him, but when he texts me, something as simple as a gif of a dog tap dancing, it comes back, and on the rare occasions I see him, it's there.. I think cutting it off completely is the only solution when it's that strong
We work together (different offices) so no contact isn't going to work. We'll still have some contact but mostly phone. With some team meetings that would involve 1-2 nights stay
Yes it does.
Imagine eating something very tasty. You eat it often due to which the taste and the feelings stay ripe in your memory. Makes you want it more.
But imagine if you don't eat it for a very very long time. What happens to the memory of its taste and feelings attached? They slowly fade away.
Yes, at least at some point. Reducing contact can make some people see it as a challenge and make them want to try even harder. But everyone has a limit so at some point, they'll lose interest. There's no fun in trying to chase someone who literally never throws you a bone or shows a sign of interest. Also less contact = less of a presence in your/their life = an opportunity to think about/focus on other things.
It depends on the two people. If you're equally attracted to each other, then I don't see the harm in having fun. But if one of you doesn't want anything to do with physical sexual attraction, it's best to make that clear or else someone might be looking for signals and that can be a bad mess.
It increases the tension, the longer you wonder how their touch would feel, the more you will want it! You will start trying to imagine making contact and how it would feel! But then as soon as it finally happens it will be like a huge weight has been lifted and you will feel so amazing and satisfied
my personal opinion is that being away from each other and trying not to have contact only makes me hornier than hell and then all I want to do is screw the hell out of someone particularly the person I'm attracted to so no it doesn't help get rid of the sexual tension it just makes it more stronger but that's my personal opinion
I think it will help but the thoughts will come back as soon you see him again or interact with him one on one. I had that situation, we stop progressively hang out alone but each time we see each other and can feel the sexual tension coming back and I just want to touch him again.
ps: I'm not really 14 .
it does and it doesn't. for the most part it depends on you and your partner.
unless both of you are absolutely mutually connected, if even one of you loses interest, attraction and sexual intentions becomes reduced.
but some people enjoy the mystery and wonder of less contact.
no. it just raises emotional stress if you plan on getting together with them. if you made a "no contact rule" to get over them and never do anything with them again, it´s the best possible solution. but only if the no contact thing is a permanent thing.
It's hard as we'll still have to speak a few tales per week - we can't go no contact completely
and why is that? is it work related?
Yes. We work in the same department (but in different offices). We have to be on a couple of the same team calls every week and then sometimes we have to see each other for team meetings. The team meetings usually involve over night stays for a few nights at a time
oh man that´s why you never go for coworkes... sorry i can´t help you with this. i mean other than asking to not be in the team that has to meet him and make calls to him there are no options other than quitting your job.
So do you think that the leftover tension and awkwardness will always hand around?
If you're lucky enough to find another guy to get interested in, you will get over it.
Depends on the situation. If we can't be together, then distance helps me move on mentally, emotionally, and physically. If we are still in a relationship but are just apart, then distance makes it worse because I know that as soon as I see him again, I get to ride his dick until sunrise. And we are usually still talking/texting while separated, and the innuendo is a real panty soaker.
You getting any different suggestions, or is the GAG community pretty much in agreement over what's going on and what to do next? ;-)
Mixed reviews I'd say!! ;-)
Yes no contact definitely helps, as keeping contact live will give rise of new questions and curiosity weather good or bad.
But it won't solve it completely, as it also depends upon your thinking, keeping no contact but continuously thinking about him/her is a issue bigger then that. It'll occupy your mind so the more imp thing is to free your mind, and that can be achieved by keeping yourself busy. Busy in work or hobby or with family etc. :-)
Focusing on other things helps... and limited contact helps too... like u just have not be reminded of this person and they will go away in your mind eventually... takes time though so be patient and u will be fine...
It's hard as I have to have dealings with him every day. But I'm trying to refocus my energy
For me, my guy is away for 2 months. We stay in contact, and that definitely intensifies my sexual urges and attraction. I know that when he comes back, it'll be a blast.
You go girl! Tear his ass up
Over long periods it makes you start to lose touch with each other and puts a strain on relationships over short periods infrequently it makes you miss being with each other more (assuming you both actually enjoy the other ).
Ahhhhhhhhhh, nope. well, it can, but it can also backfire. it's the whole forbidden fruit paradox: if you're told you can't have it, you want it more than if no restrictions were applied. think Prohibition
Lol what would make you even begin to think no contact would make it disappear? that'll do the exact opposite, only make it stronger.
with me it would make me want more I got to stay away from something I want
Complete no contact isn't an option anyway.. so we'll still continue to have some contact with each other through work. Although we won't see each other face to face for a while
still going to make my mind work overtime
and if the chemistry is that strong any contact is going to make you and him realize that
He has said he doesn't want any contact from me apart from work
And even that will be mostly phone
well maybe that will work so really the man turns you down did that hurt you
and how is that going to affect your feelings towards him
Well I turned him down first - so we're as bad as each other. There's a bit of a long story behind it. But my feelings towards him haven't changed
what about his feelings so you still have masturbation material
I have no idea how he's feeling sadly :-(
but you know your feelings and you know every time you talk to him how those feelings are going to be
Yep, that's exactly it
to me this is the question?
how many other lives will this relationship affect
Too many so it's a bad idea. I want to be able to get over it. My way of getting over it is by talking - he is refusing to talk
maybe he's afraid talking to you will make it go father that is what he's afraid of
Maybe. He's also married. He just wants contact for work and that's it - and I will respect that
that's very good he has not forgot about you you cannot worry about that
What a mess!!!
yes baby I understand
Perhaps. But they also say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You have to find a way to not think about them. It may help no contact or seeing them less, but if someone is in my head, it's hard to get them out.
I think it does, if you are not interested in that person it's enough to just IGNORE and take a step back, distance speaks LOUDER than any other word...
BUT only if you really don't like having that sort of connection with that particular person.
Yes. Its part of the reason people cheat and long distance relationships fail. Love is mostly emotional, but a good part of it is physical. Even people who dont like to be touched like a little physical attention.
Now I am not being prejudice or trying to bash. This is something common in west. My mom is from west and dad is from east but in the east the idea of getting into a serious relationship is to start a family later on if i am engaged to a girl then we don't think years to get married. Secondly, If the relationship is young then not enough physical presence with your partner will lead to break ups and cheating.
Wait and not think*
sometimes it doesn't. some tips to get rid of the person:
1. Don't look at them.
2. speak to them only about work.
3. Don't invite them places.
4. Remain STRICTLY professional.
that should work like a charm.
Columbia University did a study a few years ago. it showed how people are almost certainly only share feelings with the people you see on a daily basis.
Sometimes, when you are close to one another, no contact can actually increase the attraction between you, because of the sexual tension of who will give up and touch the other first.
Just don't be like the woman in this photo, lmfao! Halfheartedly trying to fend him off all the while laughing and giggling. Tell him quite firmly you must stop the touchy bullshit or I'm going to the (HR DEPT).
Yes reduced contact makes it go away relatively quickly. I speak from experience with both exes and my current girlfriend. If we didn't speak or see each other a lot feelings would start to die. With my current girlfriend seeing each other helps bring it all back
It's a big factor. Distance ruins relationships a lot of the time.
You can't really be with someone physically if they're miles away.
I guess if you sext the sexual tension can still be there but generally distance ruins things.
Yes u can avoid physical contact temporary till u are sure if he loves u for urself or he is aiming the bed..
after that u can let urself go. ;)
Best wishes.
it will go in a slumbering mode. but it can grow again when the contact returns. :)
I'd have to say no because you might end up thinking about the person a lot, and end up wanting to see their presence more than ever.
If you can get past the high intensity in the early stages when you're craving contact more and more, then yes it helps in the end. Learnt/learning from experience.
It can create a temporary, superficial spike of sexual tension.
Long-term it's gonna backfire though. So don't bother playing games, if you are looking for something serious.
No it's not a game - it's actually to get over someone
No contacts simply prepares a situation where firstly u will be in mental era thinking that no contacts.. Why? Em missng.. all these.. but later its lyk u forgot all those things.. and u r free now.. nothing is disturbing u..
... It just creates a gap...
Nd a gap build further makes n brings a hollowness..
reduce tension? it reduces everything. Like... there's nothing. Like even friends hug and play physically. So no contact kills it all.
What about when you still have to speak to that person a few times a week and see them once every couple of months for a few days - that's not really no contact in the true sense but there's no physical contact... do you think that can still work?
Ok, here is my honest and reallest opinion. I know for a fact that if you really want the person and you have to talk to that person frequently it's going to hurt you and make you bitter to not have him/her. And as time goes presses forward you'll control the sexual tension BY QUENCHING IT and soon only plain and utter friendship will be left. But hey, it's just another opinion. Having sexual restraint comes with self inflicted boundaries in order to not get too hurt, killing all desires beyond friendship it one
He doesn't even want friendship though which is hard - and won't even discuss it. He just doesn't want any contact apart from necessary work contact.
OK, put me into perspective please, is he from work? are you trying to get with him? is he the one who told you to stop drawing closer to avoid anything?
Yes he's from work. Something almost happened - he told me he liked me and I backed away (circumstances rather than lack of interest). I've tried to maintain contact and keep it light and friendly. He had been avoiding me for a while and when I approached him, he said he only wanted to have contact with me for work - work communication channels and work topics only. I left it a couple of weeks and he seemed like he was coming round a bit (being a little less awkward etc) and so I approached him again, asking for a chat. And he has said flat out no - he said he thought he made it clear he only wanted to deal with me for work purposes and that I had to stop getting in contact. I feel like I've done something wrong and im being punished...
yup... sorry but it's sort of a big kick in the nuts for him. Put yourself in this case. You like someone enough to actually put yourself out there and that person turns you down, hurting your feelings and making you feel stupid & this is all happening at work. And that person is trying to keep you at reach as a friend but it hurts you too bad to just be friends, be honest, wouldn't you behave just as he is?
If you really want this guy (if he is relky worth it) you can't just "chat" things up. You must meet in person and lay it all out like grown ups and be sure to take things by steps or else he will hurt your feelings and you both will be ultimately uncomfortable at work (which leads to being fired or lower performance or someone maybe quitting)
I agree 100%
Thanks for that - it's such a great response. I've tried to speak to him, I've asked if we can chat and the response I got was: "I thought I made it clear that I would like a working relationship with you but this is becoming difficult. I? m more than happy to help/support you with work but I'm not interested in anything other that that."
He's still very awkward with me (I've tried to be normal). I'm not sure if it's that his feelings are hurt or if he has completely went off me as a person, or if he needs the distance to get his head straight - I just don't really know
OK let's see if I can help you stay in perspective: move-on-now.
If he's really hurt then apologize and let him go and if he midely cares about you both he'll make it up to you.
If he just ignores you, not just the situation, but you as a person then cut him loose. Everyone deserves a minimum respect and if he can give you that... cut him loose and move on to one who actually deserves you and PLEASE, GOD PLEASE, don't mess that one up.
Yea I have apologised, I'd have preferred to sort out a good working relationship but his idea is that we just ignore it and don't speak other than for work and everything will be ok. No interest in speaking about it. I know now I need to just drop it - I just don't understand why he won't talk.
See that's the problem right there. why would you keep asking "why" when "because" isn't coming to the party? Get off that road and meet up someone worth it.
Stats: 1) more girls than guys in the world. 2) the older you get the more complicated it is to find one that will hold you close when you think you're deserving of no love. 3) in live there are more than one doors, 1 closes another opens. 4) keep wasting time focussing on the one guy and you might not realize another stand up guy was dreaming about you and you'll loss him and "Mr. I'm too pissed to look at you right now"
So here's the thing... we're both married so this isn't about trying to hook up with him. He made a move, I pulled back, he's been all awkward about it, I've tried to get a friendship/working relationship back on track. He's avoiding the issue. I definitely have feelings towards him and I know that's wrong, and I know he did for me (although I don't know to what extent). The chemistry was pretty intense so my guess is that there was some substance there from both sides. I'm frustrated that he is avoiding the issue - if we were based in the same office, he couldn't have escaped it as I'd have had him sitting opposite me in a meeting room or something! But as we're not in the same office, it's been very easy for him to just ignore it. He isn't ignoring me any longer. He was giving me the cold shoulder though and wouldn't really speak. It has got a bit easier and he's making more effort now which is why I thought it'd be great to have the clear the air conversation
OK. both married, you back out, he backs out, you still wanting to get it on with him, he's ditching it. Now his back on game little by little.
correct me if I'm getting this wrong but... are you somehow looking for reasons to finally do him? If you want it, and really want it there are 100 guys out there who will do you memorably well. But if you want him because you feel something more... Maybe you might first review your marriage first and see if the sex isn't good or you miss the thrill of something new or you just need an out of the relationship. All together, sort it out and get yourself well "served" cos you deserve it and you apparently need it soon
No not looking for reasons to do him. Although it has been an eye opener that I need to work on my marriage so that's definitely one thing that has came from this. I want to be able to have not just business chat with this guy... the reason being is that we're part of such a small team and we go away a lot and do things socially, we can't just do that. However, I would like to be over the "crush" element of it. I feel so awful about the whole thing and I'm driven to make everything better and repair the damage... he's driven to not speak to me. I expect that the rejection has hurt him and that's why he's acted like this but I'm only guessing.
Ok. here is what you are going to do step by step
1) Tell him it's imperative you meet for work related issue
2) You tell him how sorry you are the situation is messed up and you want to be able to just have another person to chat about mundane things for a bit at work. Cos work talk all the time is stressf.
3) He'll say he though it was a work related issue, and then you come back by saying " this is work related because it's disrupting the good vibe at work and you wish for nothing more than just a good safe and healthy work environment.
4) If he's smart enough he'll let go of his armour. And if he isn't just cut it short, you'll survive, believe me.
5) Tackle your marriage, if its the sex... talk it through, sex is 50% of a relationship and if its the chemistry then talking too, that along with trust and your inner friendship makes up the other 50%
Only problem is that I think he'll avoid the 1-2-1 situation with me! I'm pretty certain of it in fact. He's a relatively shy guy and I know he suffers from some anxiety (public speaking, flying are two that I aware of), so I don't know how much they're coming into play here. I'm not an awful person, I care a lot about what people think of me and the thoughts of someone being so upset and annoyed with me that they don't even want to speak to me absolutely kills me.
yup well that's what I believe is with this situation. Messed up a shy guys feelings and ego... Seriously hehehe he is a shy guy, don't you see how much it could actually take him to recover? that's like you losing your beautiful breast and then get picked on for being flat chested, it would suck.
But back to the issue, you need to give it a try. If you want it the badly, fight for it
😫 I feel awful
So how do I try and fix it? He's made it clear he doesn't want to speak to me
Babe, listen. Its admirable that you want to please everyone and want to be in good terms with him.
But the truth is that such is not always possible. And cquite frankly I think you've already fixed it: you approached and he fled. At least you know you can count on each other for work issues.
Be happy and fix your marriage. Get sexed up real good and if you need my help on that just call.
But give yourself a break and just be happy. You've fixed it as much as it possibly can.
Will he ever get over it do you think?
Honestly dear, you need to add multiple things: his ego, feelings, character, shyness, environment. even if he gets over it if his personality doesn't change... Sorry
Ok well thanks for your help
Pleasure is mine
Getting HR involved if they're being pushy or sexually harassing definitely reduces it 😉 Keep your physical distance and know your personal boundaries, don't be alone with the guy.
No contact will definitely help reduce it. Focusing on other things also helps, and the no contact will also help with that.
No contact at all would maybe help. It does make it difficult when I have to deal with him for work.
But will it all come back next time I see him?
WRONG: You Will Find Each other Again through Different Bodies.
Lol - Through different bodies @whitegirlreserected?
👌🏻 great
Yes, because, after a while, the oxytocin hit that is a response to thinking of the person will decline.
Eventually, it will not happen at all.
The old adage is that absence makes the heart grow fonder. No contact works eventually but limited contact generally doesn't.
I've never noticed that it reduces the chemistry. It just buries it burns like a wildfire when we do chat.
I think so because they will start to miss you. if you're always available then it shows that you're easy
I think it only makes it stronger. Usually the whole concept of wanting someone you can't have makes it even more intense.
We are all human.
if you normally contact once or twice a week then they won't even wonder if you don't contact for 2 weeks
Depends how ingrained they are like a drug. Sexual attraction may always be there because that just means you find them good looking
Girl less contact... I would be professional when speaking to this person make it all business and go home...
Yes. It helps in concentrating on other things and you might find someone else worth thinking about, instead if him.
Masturbation is the best solution for reducing tension if you are not ready for the next step.
Yea tried that lol! I wonder has it maybe moved past the sexual tension and onto something else now
No contact at all would help. Anything in between will give you no change whats so ever...
There's no just way to have no contact at all. We work on the same team (based in different offices) so we have a couple of conference calls per week and then team meetings every 3-4 months where we see each other for a few days (sometimes these are more frequent).
We've both flirted. Nearly crossed the line but didn't. We're both married
No, although he's tried that route!!! It didn't work and really aggravated the situation and was making it awkward for the rest of the team
I've tried that, that's how I'd find it easier to deal with this attraction. Making a friend out of him... putting the feelings on the table and building a friendship with them. But he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to have the connection outside of work. I guess he finds it easier to deal with it that way. Or maybe he thinks that no contact will make it just disappear.
I have fallen for him and I don't know how to unfall. This wasn't supposed to happen - it all started as light hearted fun and ended up as this really intense chemistry
Yes, yes I have!!! It doesn't help curb my longing for him.
Yes I did and I cried afterwards 😢 I feel that's even emotionally cheating. It's such a difficult situation - I just want the feeling to go away, wish I could turn a tap.
Look, basically you have 3 options here :
1) "cheat" on your husband emotionally either by masturbating or thinking about other man during love making
2) ignore your feelings which will end with disaser if you ask me...
3) go out with this guy and hope that he has some quality that will repell you
He's trying to go no contact too- only want to deal
With me for work. I'm not sure if that means he's finding it hard too or if he just wants to keep me at arms length. Out of those, option 1 seems the best!! I'd have liked to have retained friendly (in a loose sense of the word) but he won't entertain even a conversation.
I've talked to my friend about it, he's been pretty good at listening. The other guy is also married and has obviously decided to work on his marriage. He's said he's only interested in a professional relationship with me
He's only said that since I've tried talking to him about it by the way. He was interested and said so. I fled (long story!)
I've just followed you
over time yes. long periods of time. its probably different for every person
Depends how they do it. If you reduce contact too much eventually ima assume that she's too busy or cheating.
If anything it increases, because you start to wonder how they are doing, and what they are up to, thats if you really liked each other though lol
yes, even in another situations eye contact is very important
from experience, "beauty it in the eye of the beholder" so lack of physical contact won't really affect it, but it will make the tension so thick you can cut it with a knife
No! It intensifies it. We always want what we have to work for 👍
Not really sometimes it could make things worse, what could work is having short and very limited contact making it look like is not that big of a deal
no contact is the best. limited contact will ruin it.
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