Situation: I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. He's recently an ex now. The 1st time he cheated on me after 4 years, he said it was because I wasn't intimate enough and it made him insecure. I was going to school, and working full time during the time he cheated. I found out because he never came home that night. For the 1st time after 4 years, I looked through his phone and a girl texted him and said, "It was nice meeting you. Thanks for the kisses and the warm cuddling. I think I miss you already". Long story short.-I moved out, but after a month of breaking up and moving out, we worked it out. Then a year later, I asked to use his phone because mine was dead. He said, sure, but he felt uncomfortable. I could tell by his body language. I never looked through his phone since the last time he cheated. But i decided to do it again. He sent a girl a message on instantgram, saying, "when are we going to hangout, or should I keep stalking your pics". After I confronted him, he admitted he went on a date with her a month ago. During these situations, he doesn't feel remorse/sorry and blames me for checking his phone. He says, I drove him to cheat because of my depression, work, school and that I have a lot of issues. It was foolish of me to take him back in the first place. After, he cheated on me the 2nd time. I couldn't say much. Just felt damaged inside. The last words from me was a text saying,"take care of youself" and that I'm picking up my cat from his place too. Took my cat and my stuff while he was at work. I've blocked him from my phone, social media sites and have a note on my wall each time I wake up in the morning to remember who I was before I met him, it's time to work on me, and move on.
Have you ever cheated and regretted it? Whats the worse pain a cheater could feel? Do cheaters ever miss the person they cheated on? Do you think they get their karma? I'm only asking for a piece of mind since I promise myself never to talk to him again.
Most Helpful Guy
Hi That Cat Girl.
The guy you spent 5 years of your life with was someone who lacked maturity and was obviously not ready for a relationship. The fact that he refuses to accept responsibility for his behaviour by blaming you for HIS decision to cheat speaks volumes about who he is and what his morals and values are.
The pain of rejection and being lied to is excruciating to say the least. I have some idea, because I've been cheated on myself, and while it was a while ago; it is not something you forget quickly. The rejection and the humiliation that you feel and the damage to your self esteem is at the root of your feelings. When you start feeling down or hurt about this remember: you didn't drive him to cheat: HE MADE THE DECISION, you are not a factor in that. Use this fact to do what you can to help process your feelings. Convert the energy of the anger to postive energy. Put your anger and frustration down on paper to get it out of your head and the energy out of your body. Once you are finished, you can release those feelings by shredding the paper or burning them.
How can you make your cheating boyfriend regret this and feel hurt? You can't. There is nothing you can do. What I want you to think about is how hanging on to that anger by wishing him ill will only prolong the healing process. By wishing revenge, you continue to allow this person to make you miserable and control you and your life.
As hard as this is right now, the first step is letting go of the anger and the hurt. Do things for yourself to make you feel loved, spend time with quality friends; find ways to enjoy life each day.
So, will karma catch up with him, eventually, trust me on this! You might not be there to see it or hear about it. You don't want to bring negative karma on yourself by wishing ill on him: let the universe restore balance and mete out justice.
If you want to vent, feel free to message me.