It's complicated with my ex-girlfriend, any suggestions?

My ex-gf and I just started seeing each other and are trying to reboot our relationship. I met her for coffee last week to talk and say that I couldn't be friends cuz I still love her. She admitted the same thing which started a make out session. She told me she needed time to think. She then phoned me the next day asking if I wanted to go to diner with her, which I accepted. She told me she had to go and said "I love you" before hanging up. I told her I love you too, cuz I didn't know what else to say. We told each other that we still love one another but I wasn't going to say that. We said that when we were in a relationship, but we're not right now. She told me she is indecisive, wants to do this with me but something's are still telling her no. She wants to just go for it and see what happens from there. Last night she went to her best friend's boyfriend's sisters bar mitzvah. On her way home she got dropped off quite far from her house in a prepaid taxi. So she called me 5 times to ask if I could pick her up, I was in bed. So after picking her up and dropping her off at home. She texted me saying thank you and that it meant a lot. She then said text me tom? I replied with u have my number ;). Were not in a relationship either. We still love each other and admit it constantly but I read somewhere that you should let your ex do 100% of the convo and chasing. Should I text her or let her text me like what I said earlier! What about in the future should I contact her first at all? Is this all going to fast? I'm I being to available even though we haven't seen each other in months?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Just because two people Break up doesn't mean they don't and can't Make up and that it's Good-bye, my love forever. And with two people being an "EX" that still Marks an X in their hearts, many times over, it's One of the Other who uses the Term... Indecisive.
    It appears with her telling you this here, dear, she is not sure she is ready nor raring to be back in a Real Relationship right now. She still cares about you, wants you back in her life, but doesn't want to be hooked at the hip at this given moment in time.
    Go slow with her flow. Perhaps going Slow, nursing and nurturing even a Friendship to start, may be the best thing to do. This way it's like a fresh beginning to an even better beguine and won't go down a beaten path, which ended up to be a War of the Roses.
    However, don't let her take advantage of you either. Her call for Help the other night may be a habit she will get into and always feel you will pick up the pieces... With no strings attached.
    Talk things over, even if you have to set down some rules. Tell her you don't mind helping at times but don't always expect you to jump through hoops, especially when... I was in bed. This could become a problem and a full circle pattern.
    Don't stand on ceremonies with who should text who first. If you feel like sending a "Hi" this is fine, no one says you have to over do it or overthink it as well.
    I don't know who broke up with who and if it was her, then yes, be civil, lite and semi sweet, and let her do some of the Initiation, I will put this. But with this, don't end up to be an Enabler either, where she takes advantage of the situation or of you.
    I don't think so much it is 'Going to fast,' but it it Is... Going in a direction which I see could end up sour and just be this: "Hey, buddy, thanks for all the favors." That in itself will not get you back with her, just enable her to to have her cake and eat it too.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's one for one buddy.. one for one
    But don't give her a reason and text first

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