My boyfriend has cancer and he pushing me away he broke up with me today I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

Hey , me and my boyfriend been together like 6 months we are really close I love him to bits and he loves me. He was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer few weeks ago. He became so cold and never wanted to see me and hardly spoke to me. Then I saw him few days ago I was begging him to see me so he did , he didn’t touch me or kiss me nothing we barely talked. I was crying so much and he cudnt even look at me. Today we broke up he said he is really sorry but we have to face the facts that we can’t be together he wants to be alone and he says he can’t have a girlfriend Cuz of his religion his a muslim and now he wants to be good and I was a sin for him Cuz I was his girl and he cudnt have a girlfriend , he is my first love and I love him so bad , it hurts so much I just want to be with him and help him get trough this , I tell him how much I love him and I’ll always be here by his side no matter what but feels like his not listening help please

Updates

+1 y

Yesterday he texted me and we were talking like friends but this is so hard I need him and I know he needs me I really don't know how to deal with this

[Paris13]

I am so very sorry here, dear, about the Cancer and the Long road ahead your boyfriend is going to endure.
He is scared, knowing it is Not 100% that he is going to survive. I am not sure what Stage he is in but with just hearing the "Big C," many people many times shove their loved ones away because they Want... No commitments, just to deal with This horrendous horror alone.
I am married yet to a Muslim out in Egypt and there was a Time when he was sick. It was pretty personal and along with a bad LDR which has been going on ever since I came back to the states 3 years ago, This was just One more topping to the cake that was Topped with no Extra helpings on the side and that Was... Me, a wife.
Some Muslims are this way. They would rather push you away, a wife, a girl who is someone they plan on marrying even, than to allow you to lend a helping hand. In essence, a parent is Number One and even being a wife, I never Was in his life.
He is obstinate and you probably Will have much strife in your own life because you are feeling even more pain right now than he is. You want to be there to make everything better but with his Long struggle of trying to survive and most likely any treatments he will probably have to endure, he doesn't want to have to deal with your heartaches and heartfelt feelings even though you desperately want t be this life line and support for him.
Although he may have went against his religion of Having a 'Girlfriend' back 6 months ago, he may Now be Reaching out more to his Quaran and his God, and Realizes that he is so afraid right now that he doesn't want to Be... Punished anymore than he may feel Allah is punishing him right now.
It is very difficult to be part of a Muslim's life sometimes, married or not. And with you wanting to be there with every once you can muster, it may not be possible and you will find, that 'His religion' Now is his soul mate and the Only thing he will be able to focus on in hopes of living and getting back into Good graces once more.
Give him his space and don't make it hard on yourself by doing anymore Pleading or Needing. If he cares enough, he will at least let you know "You're my friend" and for now, it might be your Last bit of hope.
Good luck and blessings he will be okay. xx

[Arkan]

This is good advice. If I was ever diagnosed with cancer, I would seriously be scared to death and would push everyone away from me. I would not want anybody attached to me whether it was my parents or anyone else, I would just wish to quietly leave. What your boyfriend is doing is understandable, he wants to ask forgiveness for his sins and make amends. He is not sure whether he will survive or not.

[Paris13]

@Arkan, thank you for intervening, this lovely girl needs all the advice she can get right now from Great GAGERS.:)) xxoo

[Arkan]

by the way @Paris13, are you still together with your husband?

[Paris13]

@Arkan, we Breakup and Makeup all of the time and many problems because I have not gone back.. However, like this poor girl's case here, dear, everything in God's hands.. thank you for asking, i t means so much.. xxoo

[kristyle]

I'm so sorry to hear that the both of you are going through this. As much as possible, I would stay firm with him even if he is pushing you away. Continue to let him know you will always be by his side no matter what. He's listening even though he may seem cold. Just continue to be there for him as much as you can and tell him how you feel. Don't mind and ignore the cold behavior. He's putting up a wall because of what he is facing and in his way he's trying to save you from the pains of what may come. Though cold I'm sure is feelings haven't changed and cares about you still. Even if you drop the idea of being his girlfriend and just remain a close friend (even though you love him more than that) there's nothing wrong with being his best friend even not a girlfriend. Know that even though he is behaving cold he knows how you feel, so don't back down and continue to love him and be there for him as much as possible.

[peluks562]

thank you for the advice helped me a lot :)

[Xelebrum]

That's not the real reason why he broke up with you. Or at the very least, not the main reason.

He doesn't know if he'll survive. He's preparing the both of you for in case he dies. He broke up with you because by the time you've at least somewhat moved on, him dying won't have as much of a devastating effect on you as it would if you were still together. At least, that's his reasoning for it.

Just think about it: If you not being a Muslim was really the reason why he broke up with you, he would've done so earlier. You know that.

[DarkxAngel20]

First of all I'm very sorry to hear that happened to him... Keep being there by his side no matter what. He's going through a lot right now, and even though he says he needs to be alone, he still needs you. Give him some space for now but continue to watch over him quietly.

[JohnStamoist]

Usually cancer in the lymph nodes is very fatal, seems like he's trying to make ammends on all his sins before he leaves. I'm really sorry to hear that you're in this situation, hopefully he sees the light and lets you back in.

[Asker]

I hope so too , thanks everyone your comments mean a lot :)