Ex Girlfriend Wants To Catch Up... Why?

I'll summarize this one up real quick. I was with my Ex-Girlfriend for 2 years. During the last 5 months of the relationship I saw her interest level dropping and she was less excited to spend the time with me and more with her friends, all the signs were indicating after a while that she might be interested in someone else, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

After a while when I saw that she's showing almost zero interest, I confronted her about it, she took that opportunity to breakup with me and to my (not so surprise) was going out with a guy within 3 weeks, when I confronted her about, she denied that he was the reason she broke up with me.

I had enough of it at that point, I wished her well and exited her life completely. It's been a year since I last heard from her, to my surprise I got an E-Mail from her, it said "Hey it's (her name). I don't know if you use this email, but I am going to give it a try anyway, if you don't want anything to do with me, then don't reply to this email and I apologize for disturbing you. I just wanted to ask, how's life and all that. Hope to hear from you soon, if not, its okay also".

I replied to it the next day "I am fine, thank you for asking. I have to ask, what do you wish to achieve by getting in touch with me now?" to which she replied back saying "nothing, I am not wishing to achieve anything, just wanted to see how you are that's all" If I am being honest, I smell B. S here.

Through a mutual friend, I found out that the she is no longer together with the guy she broke up with me for, also she's going out with another guy now, he also showed me the pictures of the new guy and her together, looking at the pictures, I think even the blind person can tell that they are a couple now.

I guess my question is this, what was the point of sending me the email in the first place, when you weren't even interested in reconciling. I did not respond to her second email. I think I gave her a chance to come clean.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well two years together is a long time and at some point she most likely did have real feelings for you before they died out. So in some ways deep down inside she probably still cares about you and maybe misses you, I can't necessarily say in wanting to get back together way - I don't know that part. Like the saying goes when your ex contacts you out of the blue it is usually means "the other person they tried to replace you with failed".

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    • Indeed it did fail, who dumped who, I am not sure, but since I did not respond to her second email, she's already with someone new within a week, which sort of makes the whole point of reaching out to me kinda biased. I mean if you weren't interested in reconciling and being upfront, why waste my time and look at what she did, I didn't respond and she got a new boyfriend again right away.

    • Oh wow I didn't realize that part - that while she was talking to you she got a new boyfriend, that's crazy. It is better be done with her and whatever game she is trying to play, so good thing you didn't respond. Probably trying to feel out how you feel about her with no serious intention of taking things anywhere. At the time it seem she wanted to quickly dump like it was so bad, but you couldn't be that bad if you two lasted two years. I think deep down inside somewhere she knows she messed up and lost a good thing. It's like she thought the grass would be greener with someone else, but evidently it wasn't.

Most Helpful Guy

  • summerize this nice and simply she is an ex for a reason. run away. and she is trying to get back together with you

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    • She is trying to get back together with me without showing any sort of remorse or genuine talk? In fact going out with another dude (again), what is her motive?

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    • You are right about that, my basic purpose was to see how what is going through her mind, because it did seem out of the way to right an E-Mail to me.

    • eh even if you knew what are you gonna get from it? It won't benefit you

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She wants to make you jealous or, she doesn't know what she wants. just stay away from her because this is really fishy.

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    • Well what I do know is, She is no longer together with the guy whom she left me to have a relationship with, I did not respond to her second email and she's with someone else already.

      Kinda makes the whole point of reaching out to me moot when she wasn't going to be honest or wasn't thinking about reconciliation, fishy indeed.

  • Maybe she was just curious about how your life is. I think it's pretty common to just have curiosity. It's also possible that when she emailed you she was broken hearted from the guy she recently broke up with and was looking to you as a distraction

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    • Well with the information I have, she is no longer together with the guy she left me for, who dumped who, I don't know.

      What I do know is that I didn't provide her with the distraction and didn't bother replying to her second email and within a week she's with someon else.

  • she wanted to come clean.

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    • She wanted to come clean?

      So let's get this straight, you dumped me to be with someone else, fast forward a year she sends me an email to "catch up" with me, I ask her that what does she wish to achieve by getting in touch with me, to which she responds as "nothing, I just wanted to ask how you are and that's all", I don't respond to her email and within 2 weeks she's with someone else? What do you think about that? lol

What Guys Said 1

  • she wants to know she can still have you. its just that simple.

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    • As in to for a backup in case her other relationship doesn't work out or like she wants to have me genuinely?

    • she doess not want you genuinely. its an ego thing.

    • If that's the case, I think the ego might have gotten bruised since I did not respond to her second email and she quickly made another boyfriend, that's the disturbing part.

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