For the love of god why? I will never understand this mistery. Are you one of those dumpers? The way I see things, is that if I breakup with someone I am gone. I disappear. I don't want anything else to do with that person. If there was still just a tiny feeling for them, I wouldn't breakup I would stick to that feeling and try to fix the problems. But I mean, if the dumper is SURE 100% that he/she doesn't want to be with that person anymore and NEVER WILL AGAIN, why doesn't he/she gather those same balls he/she had when breaking up and walk away? Are they really THAT selfish and evil to first break someone's heart and then give them false hope and not let them move on?
Most Helpful Guy
For the backup bang. Duh.
Most Helpful Girl
I guess they don't want to lose the person completely, maybe it makes them feel less guilty when they can tell themselves that they're still "friends" and still there for the person. When the dumper is really the last person a dumpee needs for comfort. I'm sure that in some cases, it's also a bit the "let's keep her/him on the back-burner" thing. It was definitely the case with one of my ex-boyfriends who was adamant he wanted to stay friends. Stupidly, I agreed. It went from being friends to him flirting with me and telling me that "maybe one day we can be more again". Then there was more stupidity on my side, thinking he actually still had interest in me and getting my hopes up. Well, then he found someone else and suddenly my friendship meant nothing to him anymore. This (and experiences from others I hear or read about) is precisely why I told my boyfriend that if he decides to dump me one day, we don't be friends. At least not until I'm ready, which won't be for a year or two after absolutely NO contact at all.