Dated a man. He was amazing to me. a gentleman, respectful, reliable and treated me like he really liked me. He wasn't perfect, but, when we had issues we quickly hashed them out and returned to bliss. In the beginning of our courtship I told him my biggest fear was a man using me for sex. And I did not "go to men's homes, or sleep with them unless i was the only woman that was going home with him, sleeping with him, and we were not seeing other people, nor would we be looking for other people" after offering this information to him. He said he wasn't seeing other people, and deleted his dating apps. we spoke again about it a week or so later, and we both came to the agreememt that we were both on the same page about this exclusivity. I still hesitated to go home with him, to see if he was really committed to this. After proving himself to me, I ended up going home with him and we became physically intimate. ( I would say this happened 6 weeks into the courtship)
Everything was going great, until I started to feel this may not be a relationship. He was doing everything right at first, but whenever his family came to visit I was forbidden to come over, and he didn't make the effort to see me that week outside of his home. Only 2 months in, I don't expect nor want to meet his family. But something about this made me feel this wasn't a real relationsjip? So I asked him, what I am to him and if we are in a committed relationship at his home the day I got to see him... And I was met without a response. He couldn't tell me what I was to him. I ended up getting extremely emotional and cried the entire night. To make a long story short, we exchanged messages In which he ultimately said he was not committed. He likes me, but feels like I like him more, than he likes me.
So here I am feeling used, and misled because we agreed to commit to each other but in his eyes it was never a relationship, and I was never was his girlfriend. Please someone explain
Most Helpful Guy
I may be wrong... but...
I think this may have been a misunderstanding. You were very clear you would only move forward with monogamy, and he agreed to that. And from what you've said, to your knowledge he WAS monogamous.
You took that to mean it was a 'serious' relationship. He took it to mean you were dating exclusively, and perhaps either would see where things went, or... I don't know. My guess is at THAT stage one week or so on, he was willing to be monogamous and see where things went.
Did he ever say he was in love?
I'm sorry you're hurting. I don't think you got used. I think that you liked him more than he liked you. That sucks, but doesn't mean you got mistreated. I'm sorry you're hurt.0