A guy rejected me. After a year later, he started contacted me. Is it ok for me reply back?

[Anonymous]

A guy rejected me. A year later he contacted me. I replied back. I found out from my friend that he liked another girl at that time he has known her longer than me and now she has a boyfriend, so obviously he got hurted. They were just friends but I think he liked her more than that, but she didn't. I felt I'm clearly a rebound. So I stopped replying back. Is it a right choice for me to start contacting him? He hurted me, so I feel like he deserve my rejection. But he is really trying to get me.

[burlen]

Do you still like him? Don't let pride stand in the way of what might be the perfect time to grow a meaningful relationship with me. If something is yours it would always be yours. Life works in a way sometimes what we truly want manifests itself to us effortlessly. Sometimes it's an endless painful work without a positive result. This is your chance, grab it with open hands.

[Asker]

Na.. I moved on and feel like accepting him is giving a pride to him and it looks like I'm a loser who didn't get over a guy after a year. Now that the girl is dating he is coming back and I feel like I'm the back up I have a pride. Should I continue to talk to him?

[burlen]

No one wants to be treated as less important than someone. He knew this girl before you, and had began hitting on her before hitting on you. It doesn't suggest he placed less value on you.

You're thinking he is taking you as his plan B after plan A didn't materialise. Wait a second. What does plan B or back up even mean? The philosophical truth is, there is no meaning but the meaning you've chosen to give it.

Another girl in your position would give a meaning such as, the other girl blinded him from seeing my (superior value). Have you thought for one moment that the other girl may, in the next few months, regret not dating this guy? Have you thought her relationship could fallout, and she would wish she had dated this girl? It'd be too late because this guy would be already yours.

If you still like this guy, give yourself a chance. If not, it's pointless talking to him as you'd be feeding his hopeless hope of forging a relationship with you.

[Asker]

I just want to give him an idea that he should try harder than the other guys since he lost his first chance and make him jealous that he is not the only one who likes me. I think my pride doesn't allow me to just accepting a person who rejected me at the first place and finally needs me. I don't really like him anymore but it's just my personality that I need to get what I want.. I know it's weird. And I'm

[burlen]

How does "giving him the idea that he should try harder than the other guys" help you or him? Ask this question while staring in front of the mirror, and come up with a justifiable answer.

Is it revenge? Is it to make you feel special? Is it to make you feel happy?

What crime, wrongdoing or mistake has he committed? The only thing he did was to follow his feelings for the other girl. It did not turn out well for him. He has recalliberated his feelings, and is paying his undivided attention to you, a girl he thinks loves him than any other. Yet you want him to work harder than the other guys. That to me sounds like revenge, or a move to raise your social value.

[Asker]

I understand what you mean, but my ego doesn't allow me to just jump into the relationship. I will always feel that I'm the rebound and that will harm me eventually. Since he is coming back caz his feeling didn't work out for him, I was clearly not hi first choice. Can you just tell me how to make him work harder to get me? All the girls in this question say that I'm his second choice and I should not accept him and guys say that he had his feeling at that time, so I'm not a rebound. I really don't know what I should do. I was thinking just texting him like friends and seeing other guys in my town since this is long distance so that I don't miss other loves coming to me and I don't want to focus on and expecting on someone who didn't appreciate me in the first place.

[puertoriguesa]

i agree with the asker, im the same way it makes me feel small when a guy rejects me then wants me back when the girl he wants doesn't want me

[Decentguy]

he deserves his rejection with no doubt. but if you like him or have any feelings towards him then go for him otherwise ignore him

[Asker]

He had been liking the girl at the time when he met me. I met him when he was visiting in my town. We only have been known each other for couple weeks. And he is living in another state. The girl is his friend but I think he liked her more than that but the girl didn't. He didn't delete me in his social media. And started contacting me. I did back but I stopped after I found about the girl. Should I consider the fact that he was already liking the girl the time that he met me? My plan is contacting like friends and still seeing guys in my town. Do you think he just want me for his ego boost? I mean he started contacting me in summer and I did back then I stopped on January caz I found about her. But he's still contacting me which shows that he's trying a lot to get me. But honestly he can jst meet girls in his town. Why would he contact someone who lives in another state it doesn't make sense

[Decentguy]

the thing you told me that he can meet girls in his town, why whould he contact you etc. i would say then go for him.

[Asker]

Can I ask you what changed your mind?

[Asker]

Also he might just want me for his ego boost and emotional relief since he probably got hurted.

[Decentguy]

yeah it could be possible that he wants your for ego boost and emotional relief or it could be possible that he dosen't wanna end or hurt the girl he likes by accepting you in his life at that moment. but as you said that he wants you while knowing that you live in an other town it could be possible that he really wants you or it could be possible which i believe more that he has no one to date and he wants you because he knows that you will accept him.

[Decentguy]

i would suggest you to reject him and find someone else because this guy cannot be trusted.

[Asker]

He is actually a lady's boy (knows lots of girls) and i stopped contacting him a few months ago but since he is still contacting me and actually trying hard to get me, does it mean he likes me a lot? Should I contact him back and say just be friends?

[Asker]

I mean at that time, I confessed my feeling via social media and he never answered back which obviously means rejection, but he never blocked or deleted me.

[Decentguy]

look i honestly i dont feel anything right about this guy, there's a lot of fishy things about this guy. i would still suggest you to find someone else, im telling you this so there's no chance you can get hurt. im just trying to take you in a safe side.

[Anonymous]

Going to be honest he didn't get what he wanted and he knew you were interested so he is now choosing you probably just to have sex with you or get something out of it. Leave him alone it's a waste your second best to him. Your right about you feeling like you're the rebound go with your gut.

[Asker]

I want to give him an idea that he should try harder since he lost the first chance with me and make him jealous that he lost the best one. Because I'm not the one he can come back anytime he needs me.

[Opinion Owner]

If you do that that means you're not really over him

[Asker]

Since its long distance, can I just text him like friends and see other guys in my town? I don't want to spend my heart fully on him. The problem is how do I make sure he knows that we are starting as friends?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't understand why you would waste energy on someone who sees you as second best. Do you know yourself worth? Your second best and that's it to him let him go. The fact it if your putting all this energy into making him jealous you still care. He probably wants to talk to you because your stroking his ego right now. If you waste time making him jealous you're the one that's going to get hurt not him.

[Asker]

What I am saying is just be friends with him like texting once in a while since it is long distance and still seeing guys in my town. At the time when I met him, he was just visiting my town and I found out from my friend that he already had been liking for someone for a long time the time he met me. And he has been known me like a month and a half. If I be friends with him and later it turns out that I'm dating another guy, he will get hurt more. And I do not care since my intention was just being friends. I will make sure we are just friends. And contact him like only 2 times a week.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think he will get hurt because he is using you emotionally. He didn't get what he really wanted so what's the next best thing. I personally don't think you should waste your energy because when you look back that's when you tend to stay in past. But looks like you might have to learned the hard way you're the one that will be hurt.

[Asker]

I have a personality that I need to get what I want. I know it's just ridiculous. No guy has ever rejected me before. And he really strikes my ego. It's like he needs to like me. Should I just ignore him then? he is really trying to get me he started contact me during summer and after I found about the girl in January I ignored his contact. But he keeps trying.

[Asker]

I mean he can choose to meet someone in his town. But he started contact me who is living in another state after a year. Why is that?

[Opinion Owner]

Because he knows you like him. Not everyone is going to look you you have to accept its a part of being mature. Do stay in the past if it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't. If you do continue to contact him don't do it to just make him jealous it never ends well.

[SarahsSummer]

He was rejected, so he's turning to the last woman who didn't reject him to feel better. If you like him, take it slow, don't jump in head first. Make him work a bit for your affections. If you don't like him of are still hurt by his behavior last time, drop him.

[Asker]

I don't really like him anymore but I have a personality that I need to get what I couldn't have. I think it's my pride and ego caz he was the only guy who rejected me so far. I want to give him an idea that he should try harder since he lost the first chance with me and make him jealous that he lost the best one. Because I'm not the one he can come back anytime he needs me. How do I do that?

[SarahsSummer]

Tell him you USED to really like him but you're over it. you would be open to giving him another shot but no promises. then ask what he had in mind for a first date. That puts it ALL on him.

[Asker]

Actually this is long distance. I want to just text him like friends and see other guys in my town because I don't want to miss other loves coming to me and also I don't want to spend my heart fully on someone who didn't appreciate me in the first place. The problem here is that how do I make sure that we are just friends and it's just getting to know each other stage?

[SarahsSummer]

If it's just ldr, then just text him occasionally to ask about his day or week or whatever. My heart never gets involved if it's like a pen pal buddy.

[Boredom0]

He deserves rejection. If you do reply and want to know how he is, call him out on his schtick so you get that out of the way.

[Asker]

He already liked a girl at the time I met him. He was visiting my town and the girl is from his town. I found out that he had been liking that girl for over a year and she started dating someone else. So he started to contact me. Does it mean I was his back up? I was thinking texting him like friends and seeing other guys in my town. He is actually really trying to get me back.

[Boredom0]

Yes and No. You are a rebound perhaps, but not in a superficial way. I think he probably really did like you, but he thought it was the right thing to commit to a first crush. But her being unavailable doesn't mean it resolved his feelings for her. I guess it can't hurt to reply back but make it casual and short. Yeah you could keep him as a friend and if it starts to get weird, you can just cut him out. It depends on how you feel. Rejecting him isn't mean or anything.

[gekkeman01]

Only if you like him, otherwise you shouldn't reply back. I don't know either if my girl still likes me www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1934947-how-do-i-deal-with-my-temporary-break-from-my-girlfriend-after-a-long please give me some feedback, would appreciate it!

[DarkManX]

Well it's based on your decision, if you still have something to him you can still talk to him, to show him that you overcome the pain he did to you, and then you will decide.
Don't make decision quickly, let with the flow.

[Asker]

Actually it is a long distance. He liked the girl in his town when he met me. I moved on but when he started contact me the pain suddenly reappeared. If I reply his contact, I feel like I'm the loser who accept the guy when he finally needs me. I'm not the one he can get whenever he needs me. I have a pride. I want to give him the idea that he needs to try harder to get me since he lost his first chance or make him jealous that he lost the best one in the first place. Do you think that I should go back to him? I mean I was clearly not on his mind at that time, and suddenly after he got broken heart, he started to crawl back to me. I don't even know why he started contacting me. Is it because of his pride? ego?

[DarkManX]

I've been there and going trought this kind of period, my girlfriend break up with me since 2 months ago, without any regret at all.
She is now considering between two boys which one to choose, waiting her friends to tell her, this one is more beautiful go with him.
She told after 4 years, that she stopped loving me, so I'm thinking also to get her back.
But her friends increased a lot her self confidence and I believe it's currently impossible.

I'd say to you it's your choice, I can't tell you which direction is right, you should feel by your heart, if you want really to be with him why not? but there is specific price where each one of us pay in situation like that.
Otherwise ignore him completely, if you feel you have some love to him or feelings, give him a chance, but keep in mind that he can hurt you again or might want you for havign sex. Like one of the things I want to get my girlfriend back is because I miss sex, and afraid to do it with other girl.

[Asker]

So how about just talking to him as a friend and seeing other guys in my town? I don't want to lose other chances of love by only focusing on someone who didn't appreciate me in the first place. But I can see he's really trying to be with me. And I want to make sure that he knows he needs to try harder this time caz he lost his first chance and there are other guys who want me too. I don't really like him anymore. But it's just my personality that wants someone I couldn't have. It's just my pride. Caz he is the only one who rejected me so far.

[10dsw]

Uhh yes?

If you let your pride always get in the way... well you will be a very very unhappy person. This vengeful personality is not healthy by any means.

[Anonymous]

Well you're not a second choice you know? Maybe he wants to get a relationship with you just to forget her?
I don't know about this..

[Asker]

What do you mean I'm not the second one? There was a girl that he liked at the time when he met me. Now that girl starts to date, he is crawling back to me because he is clearly in pain. I have a pride. I feel like the loser who accepts a guy when he finally needs me. I want to give him an idea that he should try harder since he lost the first chance with me and make him jealous that he lost the best one. Because I'm not the one he can come back anytime he needs me.

[RedRobin]

You did the right thing, he rejected you already so he can't come running back

[Anonymous]

Let try a little bit harder, just to make sure. Also are u over the initial pain he caused?

[Asker]

I was. Then he started talking to me and the emotional pain suddenly reappeared. I have a pride. If I reply his contact, I feel like the loser who didn't move on and accepting person when he finally needs me. Actually this is a long distance. I think I need to give him an idea that he needs to try harder to get me or make him jealous to think that he lost the best one in the first place

[Jooker]

Noo, if u love yourself little bit you can't do it.

[Vincejamie]

No leave him alone. He's either testing you or playing games. Sounds like a boy not a man at all.

[puertoriguesa]

ignore him you're just a second choice

[Asker]

He had been liking the girl at the time when he met me. I met him when he was visiting in my town. We only have been known each other for couple weeks. And he is living in another state. The girl is his friend but I think he liked her more than that but the girl didn't. He didn't delete me in his social media. And started contacting me. I did back but I stopped after I found about the girl. Should I consider the fact that he was already liking the girl the time that he met me? My plan is contacting like friends and still seeing guys in my town

[puertoriguesa]

I don't know i guess you're not the second choice after all if he already liked her before he met you, but ig he recently got his heart broken from her its best you guys take things slow you never know if he's trying to used you to get her jealous

[puertoriguesa]

if**

[Asker]

Oh so I'm not the second choice? Or he can just use me as emotional support for his damage? I mean he's really trying to get me even though it's long distance. He can just meet girls in his town

[Asker]

Or maybe he is trying to use me as his ego boost. Should I contact him back?

[puertoriguesa]

I think He probably just wants an ego boost...

[imanf7]

Let the loser go
One heartbroken is enough !!!