Why did she bring up my ex girlfriend?

I haven't talked to my ex girlfriend for 3 years now.

I'm seeing this girl right now and she's great. I broke up with her because I was afraid the long distance was going to be an issue (we go to the same college but our hometowns are far away). I realized how stupid a reason that was after I did it because we still talked all the time during break. So now we're back together.

She asked me if I'd give it another shot with my ex girlfriend if she wanted one. And I told her yes. At the time, my girl didn't care, but then randomly called me up saying we needed to talk. I guess it really bothered her what I said. My ex was my first love. I'll never forget that. But it really bothers me that my girl asked me that almost 3 weeks later.

She sounded really upset on the phone, but now she's perfectly fine. I don't get why she'd bring it up though. Now I'm wondering if the distance is getting to her. Maybe I was right to break up the first time around?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She's probably feeling insecure because you broke up with her the first time. Long distance is hard, but if you really like her you should stick it out. You're in school most of the time anyway lol. Are you guys a couple of hours away from each other? If the commute's not so bad, you can probably hangout still every once in awhile -- make it an all day thing. Chances are, she's unfamiliar with your town and you're unfamiliar with hers. You guys can show each other around and stuff. My ex and I used to video chat when he was out of state for a summer program which was cool. You guys can do that. Just keep in touch over the breaks and hangout when you can.

    And it's not so much that you were right to break up the first time. It sounds more like you're so quick to jump the gun and end things. You say she's a great person so if that's the only reason you're gonna break up with her then you're quitting before anything really gets started. And you'll probably end up regretting it and wanting her back. See where the relationship goes before automatically assuming it won't work because she doesn't live down the street.

    • Thank you for your help. She lives nearly 3 hours away from me. She just got a new mac for her birthday so I guess we'll make use of ichat...lol. The day trip thing sounds like a good idea, too. I'll wait it out. I really do like her. She's awesome. It just sucks to be apart from her.

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What Girls Said 3

  • This is how you apologize for putting your foot in your mouth...

    (1) Tell your current girlfriend that your love for her supercedes the love you ever had for your ex-girlfriend. Tell her that your ex got in touch with you, the two of you were reminiscing, and the old feelings came back. Tell her when you actually had time to sit and think about it...the feelings you THOUGHT you had for your ex was pretty much NON-EXISTENT!

    (2) Tell your current Girlfriend that you progressed. Definitely UPGRADED!

    (3) For future references...avoid putting your foot in your mouth!

    • Lol I don't want to lie to her because like I said, I haven't talked to my ex for 3 years anyway. And I don't love my girlfriend. We haven't been dating that long. But I have definitely learned my lesson.

  • First I need to say that I think it was kind of stupid of you to even admit, whether it's true or not, that you'd get back with your ex if she asked for a second chance. Your girlfriend probably knows that your ex was your first love and needs the reassurance that you're over it. I asked my boyfriend that when he and I first got together even tho he and his ex hadn't talked in years, but I needed the security and reassurance from him that it wouldn't happen, that he still didn't have feelings for her. In a way it was a jealousy issue for me because I knew that they had a really serious, long term relationship together and it was his first love. I didn't want to have to compete with her or his unrelenting feelings for her.

    • Yeah that was pretty dumb :-/...What can I do about it? I already told her I don't have feelings for her.

    • There's not much you can change now. Just reassure her that you're about her now, you're with her now and that's what matters. Don't even bring up your ex ever and if she does just say that she doesn't matter. What's going on with you two does. I'm not saying that she'll get over it over night or at all, she just needs to learn to trust that's all. Good luck!!

    • Okay thanks

  • usually long distance relationships don't work out but maybe she was worried that ur gonna go back to ur ex girlfriend and that's the real reason you broke up with her.. goodluck:)

    • But I haven't talked to my ex in years. I really like my girlfriend. I just had a really bad experience with long distance with that particular ex.

What Guys Said 1

  • Dude. She feels insecure based on what you said. But when you are talking to a woman about your true feelings you must be HONEST!

    You did NOTHING WRONG.

    Only by being honest can a woman respect you as a man. And who knows. perhaps over time she will realize how much you care for her based on how you treat her and forget her ex. So just keep being her boyfriend and be a decent guy. Give her time and affection.


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