My boyfriend cheated and now will not talk to me? WHY ?

He premeditatedly lied. Made up story to be out of town on business. Long story short...I IMD him to be certain he made it to LA...SHE answered IM to let me know he was in town, did I want to leave a message? I asked if he were in LA she said well no...I asked if she was girlfriend and she said yes! But was from out of town. When he came back IM sure she told him that she had talked to me. HE cheated, I found out and ever since he will NOT communicate in any way with me! WHY ? Not an apology, explanation...nothing! Before he supposedly left he told me he was see me the following Tuesday! Please help me to understand.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don’t think there’s anyway to understand unless he opens up enough, and commutates, and apologizes for his actions. But then there’s a question I’d like to understand. Why are you even wanting him to talk to you after he lied to you, once, but also twice? And to top it off, who knows how long he was with that other chick. How long was he lying to you? I just don’t think that’s a person to have as a friend, or a boyfriend at this time.

    There may be some time in which you forgive him, but then it’s a question of putting yourself into that risky situation in which you could be hurt once again, not only as a girlfriend, but as a friend. And don’t be so codependent upon why he’s not talking to you. If anyone lies to you twice, and can’t even apologize, or even explain themselves, then there shouldn’t be any communication at all for awhile. He needs to understand that’s it’s not right to treat anyone like that. In away he was just thinking about himself, and his d***. And keep that in mind. He may be so codependent himself that he can’t wait until he gets his d*** wet again.

    I hope things get better with you, because you don’t deserve that kind of sh*t from anyone. It’s not right that people lie, and cheat on lovers. I believe that people need to be honest with the ones they love, and at least be honest enough to say that they don’t have feeling for you, and that they have someone else in there life, rather than hiding away from the truth. I’d rather someone be honest with me, and have the decency to tell me that there seeing someone else.

    Much love to you, and I hope things get better anyway shape for form.

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    • Thank you for your response. I guess I'm looking for an apology. The girl is from another state and from what I have learned he flys her in once or twice a year. He had told me he would see me on the following Tues so I'm sure she is someone to do it with and then send her home. I on the other hand am here but was not doing "it" with him. I just can't reason why he's not talking to me......it should be the other way around. Is he just embarrassed possibly? Oh well, life goes on......Thanks!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I don’t think your looking for just an apology, but looking for some validation, some reason behind what happened. So first, and foremost “It’s not you”. I know some of us put ourselves down, because of situations that come up like this one. The feelings, and the questions come up as far as wondering if it was us all along. And so I’m here to tell you that it wasn’t who you are at all.

    You’re a wonderful person, that has been hurt once more buy a d*** driven guy that only wants sex, and nothing more, and that‘s what I feel what has happened. He’s one of those self-centered people that want one thing, and that’s to be physical, and I that’s not how things work out. It’s about connecting with someone emotionally (the physical part comes later on). And I think us guys have lost sight in that. We’ve lost sight in what true love is all about, and I think he lost sight in that too. He lost sight in what he fell in love with, and that was you…

    Do I think he was embarrassed? Possibly…. He could have felt bad, but why start feeling bad now? Why didn’t he feel bad the first time, or the second, or how ever many times he did it? And that’s his corrector defects. That’s what he needs to work on himself. Finding the reason behind his lack of self control. He needs to find himself again, and get back into what love should be rather than the physical part in which he loves, and craves (in my views).

    I just hope, and pry you can find peace again, and find your true love, because he’s out there for you. You need to move on the best way possible for yourself, because if you keep waiting for the answer that may never come, then your going to hurt yourself more. I believe that guy that you where with is a loser big time, and he shouldn’t even explain himself to you. What he should be explaining is what he’s going to do to help himself, because he’s lost. He’s lost himself, and he lost the best person in the world, and that’s you :)

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  • why would you want him to talk to you if he cheated?

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    • I would just like at the minimum an apology. I had told him if he ever found someone else to just say so. He had told me he was going to be back on the following Tues and would see me then. So he had no intentions of not seeing me again even though she was coming to visit. There are just things IM trying to understand in my own mind, Words spoken, thoughts conveyed......questions left unanswered. Thank you for your thoughts.

  • He is guilty and relises he has been caught assuming that its over, dosnt want to be with you anymore or face you or he has moved on to the new girl.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I honestly see it this way, the other female was probably his main Girlfriend, you were his second so when his first found out, she probably up roared on him, asking all types of questions as to why this female (you) is asking her if she was his girlfriend. He then disconnects from you, because he probably told her you were some girl that was after him and is she wanted he's stop talking to you just to make her feel satisfied and relax after he's gotten caught, My second guess, this was his way of "breaking up" get another female to do his dirty work for him. Either way he's a sleaze bag, I say dump him, and more on to the next. No need to wonder why, or expect an apology from him, he screwed up in so many ways imaginable, just try to move on love, instead of holding on to a broken dream, just hang on to love, you'll find somebody worth risking for. He's just not that person.

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    • I'd agree on your answer as well.... "No need to wonder why, or expect an apology from him, he screwed up in so many ways imaginable, just try to move on"

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